# Claes Jonasson :: Writer > words to make a difference Language: en URL: https://claesjonasson.com/ All pages on this site are available as clean Markdown by adding the header `Accept: text/markdown` to any HTTP request. REST API: https://claesjonasson.com/wp-json/mescio-for-agents/v1/markdown?url={page_url} ## Pages - [Thank you](https://claesjonasson.com/thank-you/): One more thing Awesome You have successfully updated your email preferences - [Carensa Holt](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/): Too young for the Summer of Love … not radical enough for protest riots. Caught in a decade of turbulence, Carensa Holt looked for something to hang on to, trying to find herself. A novel by Claes Jonasson Carensa Holt - [Carensa Holt – the hotel](https://claesjonasson.com/carensa-holt-the-hotel/): The hotel Carensa was thrilled to be in Paris.  With the youth hostels all far out in the suburbs, she found herself in a small hotel on the Left Bank. It was one of those 1 star hotels that put - [Carensa Holt – conversation on a train from Narvik to Copenhagen](https://claesjonasson.com/carensa-holt-conversation-on-a-train-from-narvik-to-copenhagen/): Conversation on a train from Narvik to Copenhagen Leaving Narvik, the compartment had been full. She at first expected that the other five people were also going to Copenhagen, or at least a good deal of the way, maybe down - [Carensa Holt – morning on a train](https://claesjonasson.com/carensa-holt-morning-on-a-train/): Morning on a train Long shadows and harsh sunlight that promised a hot day ruled the suburbs the train sped through. Once again it was morning on a train. While the big city of Paris woke to a new day, - [One more thing](https://claesjonasson.com/one-more-thing/): One more thing I just sent you an email with a link to click to confirm your subscription to my email newsletter. Please click that link right now and you'll be set. Looking forward to keeping in touch. 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May the road - [Download your guide here](https://claesjonasson.com/download/): Download your guide here - [Welcome](https://claesjonasson.com/): Life, faith, stuff LIFE. Each of our lives is a hero’s journey. We may not feel like it a lot of the time. Sometimes we forget what the quest is about. But we’re here, on Earth, on this journey. FAITH. We are - [About me](https://claesjonasson.com/about-me/): “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien About me Hi, - [Blog](https://claesjonasson.com/blog/) - [Privacy policy](https://claesjonasson.com/privacy-policy/): Terms of use Please wait while the policy is loaded. If it does not load, please click here to view the policy. - [Terms of service](https://claesjonasson.com/terms-of-service/): Terms of use Please wait while the policy is loaded. If it does not load, please click here to view the policy. - [Thanks](https://claesjonasson.com/thanks/): Thank you for giving your input. I very much appreciate it. - [Thanks](https://claesjonasson.com/thanks-2/): Thank you for giving your input. I very much appreciate it. - [Success](https://claesjonasson.com/success/): Thank you for contacting us Got your message and will get you an answer as quickly as we can. In most cases, that's the same day. (Unless your message came at an odd time when we were sleeping — time - [life](https://claesjonasson.com/life/): Making Sense, Sorting It Out, Living a manifesto for life We’re on this journey called life and get to figure it out as we go along. Looking at Life, Faith, Stuff and how they interact in the crossroads of life. - [That “someday” train trip you’ve been talking about?](https://claesjonasson.com/rail-adventure-download/): Make it become reality with this free planning guide.Give me the ebook - [Disclaimer](https://claesjonasson.com/disclaimer/): Terms of use Please wait while the policy is loaded. If it does not load, please click here to view the policy. ## Blog Posts - [2 must-see classic French films](https://claesjonasson.com/2-must-see-classic-french-films/) (2023-05-19): A story about first love, so sweet and tender — and so fragile. And a story about transporting a very special car from Paris to Amsterdam. What could go wrong? - [The tale of the green apple](https://claesjonasson.com/the-tale-of-the-green-apple/) (2023-04-06): Once upon a time there was a garden in which stood an apple tree of the most imposing kind. Full of green, but still tiny fruits destined to become big, red, juicy apples in a few months. - [Of daffodils and tanks](https://claesjonasson.com/of-daffodils-and-tanks/) (2023-02-23): Daffodils in the depth of winter: Will they stand against ice, wind and rain? A country overtaken by an invasion: Can it endure? Lessons amidst frailty. - [Your new trip around the sun](https://claesjonasson.com/your-new-trip-around-the-sun/) (2023-01-25): A few days into the new year, a friend greeted me this way: "I hope you enjoyed these first days of your new trip around the sun." — Say what? - [Weekend goodbye](https://claesjonasson.com/weekend-goodbye/) (2022-11-06): Mark was on a train heading home after seeing his friend Sabrina over a weekend. A pleasant visit. The last moments at the train station kept lingering in his mind. - [Finding Rivendell](https://claesjonasson.com/finding-rivendell/) (2022-10-24): Rivendell is a magical place in J.R.R. Tolkien’s writing. Couldn’t possibly exist in real life. Or does it? Turns out it does and I went there. Without knowing at the time. - [2 book series that will expand your world](https://claesjonasson.com/2-book-series-that-will-expand-your-world/) (2022-05-12): A book series focuses on a longer story arc or common characters. It's an opportunity to go on a longer journey and discover the story and its world more deeply. - [Going nuclear is back on the table](https://claesjonasson.com/nuclear-attack-is-back-on-the-table/) (2022-04-20): For a long time, nuclear attacks were expected in any war in Europe. It was part of the fear we lived with. And now the nuclear attack option seems to be back on the table. - [About a backpack](https://claesjonasson.com/about-a-backpack/) (2021-09-28): When I was going train hiking in the summer of 1975, I purchased a new external frame backpack. I had no idea it would still be with me on travels all these many years later. - [The old man with the bicycle](https://claesjonasson.com/the-old-man-with-the-bicycle/) (2021-07-20): Youth hostel. Old man choosing to stay there among all those 'kids'. I’m glad he did, because I learned great travel lessons that have served me well in the decades since. - [All that snow…](https://claesjonasson.com/all-that-snow/) (2021-02-22): Winter x 3. I’ve lived through winters in Sweden and Iowa. With cold and lots of snow. But it’s in Arkansas we've just emerged from 10 days of being stuck in snow. Even so, I love winter. And snow. - [Between 2 countries, finding a place to belong](https://claesjonasson.com/between-2-countries-finding-a-place-to-belong/) (2021-02-12): What could a story about a woman moving from Ireland to Brooklyn in the 1950s have in common with me moving from Sweden to Iowa in the 1970s? Actually quite a bit more than I thought just from watching the movie trailer. - [Shaping the story of your next year](https://claesjonasson.com/shaping-the-story-of-your-next-year/) (2021-01-15): New Year. Resolutions made and then broken. We set goals and hope. Here’s a roadmap to shape your story in the next 12 months. With the end solidly in mind. - [From the Statue of Liberty to London’s Wembley, via Seattle](https://claesjonasson.com/from-the-statue-of-liberty-to-londons-wembley-via-seattle/) (2020-10-23): Man and woman meet, connect, fall in love. One small hitch — they’re both engaged to others. Star-crossed lovers? Or is there a way to be together after all? We have a story! - [The dream job](https://claesjonasson.com/the-dream-job/) (2020-09-29): I landed my dream job as a video and film producer with a growing production company, located in a medieval castle, complete with a moat. Perfect, right? So why did I leave after just a few months? - [Celebrating labor](https://claesjonasson.com/celebrating-labor/) (2020-09-03): Labor Day is about celebrating workers. Because if nobody worked, we wouldn’t eat, have anywhere to live or much of anything else. Labor makes life possible. - [Inside out and topsy-turvy](https://claesjonasson.com/inside-out-and-topsy-turvy/) (2020-07-16): Life suddenly became totally different, overwhelming. How do we cope? Move forward? To change or not to change and if so, what? - [Independence Day](https://claesjonasson.com/independence-day/) (2020-06-29): “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” - [Movies for a long, hot summer](https://claesjonasson.com/movies-for-a-long-hot-summer/) (2020-06-24): Corruption and crime at the top. • Can we change society? • Peaceful protest, angry violence. • Bringing back great industrial jobs. • Friends forever, for a lifetime. • What if a camera could open up a new world? - [Words, meaning, feeling, poetry](https://claesjonasson.com/words-meaning-feeling-poetry/) (2020-06-15): I sat at a well-worn table in what used to be a store, now turned into a cultural center of sorts. Listening to a poetry reading. I don’t even remember when I was at a live poetry reading before that. - [Train 232 from Copenhagen](https://claesjonasson.com/train-232-from-copenhagen/) (2020-06-12): Darkening images fly past, outside the softly vibrating glass. There’s a draft from the window. Bags stowed everywhere. - [The comet](https://claesjonasson.com/the-comet/) (2020-06-12): Black lands with black images, skies of all absorbing velvet - [Poem](https://claesjonasson.com/poem/) (2020-06-12): Words in pictures Pictures of words Impressions captured in a moment - [Meeting again and then…](https://claesjonasson.com/meeting-again-and-then/) (2020-06-02): Michael was looking forward to being back in the metropolis where he once lived. Stepping off the train there, he’d meet Jody. It'd been ages. And the last time had gone spectacularly badly. - [The effect of Coronavirus on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds](https://claesjonasson.com/the-effect-of-coronavirus-on-man-in-the-moon-marigolds/) (2020-05-21): The coronavirus has affected everything, making life feel like a downward spiral. Like being stuck in a totally dysfunctional family, with no way out. Or is there one? A future after this pandemic? - [Facing our giants](https://claesjonasson.com/facing-our-giants/) (2020-05-05): A lot of things in life don’t get done. They’re big. Scary. Complicated. And we don’t know how or where to get started. So we don’t face our giants. It’s safer that way. Except we miss out on so much… - [There’s no place like home](https://claesjonasson.com/home-theres-no-place-like-it/) (2020-04-28): Home. We live there. Leave and come back. But what does ‘home’ really mean? And what makes something or someplace ‘home’? - [Morning sickness and the Coronavirus](https://claesjonasson.com/morning-sickness-and-the-coronavirus/) (2020-04-16): When there’s a problem in life, we want to find a solution. That’s natural. Part of what makes us human. The quicker, the better. But what if there's a price… - [Potter is not selling — he’s buying](https://claesjonasson.com/potter-is-not-selling-hes-buying/) (2020-03-26): The Bailey Building & Loan. Crammed with investors who want their money. Now. Because it’s a run on the bank. George Bailey trying to calm them down. What does that have to do with the Coronavirus? - [The little red-haired girl and the magical island](https://claesjonasson.com/little-red-haired-girl-and-magical-island/) (2020-03-16): A harbor, cranes, warehouses, industries. Now Peter was back here, to repair a ship unloader. Across the shipping channel was an island. And memories of a magical summer long ago. - [I wanted to build a house](https://claesjonasson.com/i-wanted-to-build-a-house/) (2020-03-04): Growing up, I wanted to build a house. Not just the requisite tree house or small play shed. But a real house to live in. I have no idea where the idea came from. - [Snow geese and sun dogs](https://claesjonasson.com/snow-geese-and-sun-dogs/) (2020-02-19): Usually driving from Little Rock to Memphis is rather mundane. Not so this day. Fields covered in white birds. 3 suns in the sky. Was it an omen? - [A cemetery in Paris](https://claesjonasson.com/a-cemetery-in-paris/) (2020-02-11): Carensa would so have liked to catch up with Veronica one more time. Maybe then she would have been able to break through and make some difference in her life. - [On the wrong train](https://claesjonasson.com/on-the-wrong-train/) (2020-02-04): The long high speed train was at the platform. I found a perfect seat. Then doubt set in. Was it really going where I wanted to go? I started to think I was on the wrong train. That was about to leave. - [The one with interpretation](https://claesjonasson.com/the-one-with-interpretation/) (2020-01-29): Every word we say, every action we take — they’re observed by others around us. Then interpreted for meaning. But be careful … - [Movies in mid-winter](https://claesjonasson.com/movies-in-mid-winter/) (2020-01-21): Blink and be totally lost in this financial shell game. When life falls apart, is there a 2nd act? Faced with a great wrong, what can one person do? A journey out of this world. Mind over matter is just a saying, or? - [Carpe annum](https://claesjonasson.com/carpe-annum/) (2020-01-14): January. We’re still getting used to the idea of a new year. But the days are getting longer. A whole year ahead. Time to dream about things that can happen this year. Maybe a fresh start. - [’tis the day before Christmas…](https://claesjonasson.com/tis-the-day-before-christmas/) (2019-12-24): What does Christmas Eve (and Christmas Day) mean to you? Hurrying? Scurrying? But what if there were no Christmas? Ever! - [A train commute and an umbrella](https://claesjonasson.com/a-train-commute-and-an-umbrella/) (2019-12-17): It rained that morning. Not a soft, raindrop by raindrop, rain. But rather a windy, more sideways than vertical, rain. For Martin, this day of commuting would be unlike all the other days. All because of an umbrella. - [We’re all immigrants](https://claesjonasson.com/were-all-immigrants/) (2019-12-11): We’re born. Somewhere. A geographic location. Then we move. Sometimes across a border. We become immigrants. - [Goodbye East Berlin](https://claesjonasson.com/goodbye-east-berlin/) (2019-12-05): November 9, 1989. The images I never thought I’d see: People, lots of them, by and on top of the infamous Berlin Wall. Whole sections of it coming down. It was a miracle unfolding before our eyes. - [Giving thanks — not just for one day of the year](https://claesjonasson.com/giving-thanks-not-just-for-one-day-of-the-year/) (2019-11-27): Thanksgiving Day is a huge holiday in the US. But gratitude and saying “Thanks” isn’t limited to only that day. - [The greatest threat: External or internal?](https://claesjonasson.com/the-greatest-threat/) (2019-10-30): It’s far less likely that some foreign terrorist is going to come blow up my house or business than that I will do something myself to derail and mess it up. - [The power line](https://claesjonasson.com/the-power-line/) (2019-10-23): It was a dark and stormy night. Thunderclaps aplenty. Then another, really loud noise. Much closer. That couldn't be good! - [Of pinpricks and a Milky Way](https://claesjonasson.com/of-pinpricks-and-a-milky-way/) (2019-10-09): How often do you stop and look up at the sky at night? Quite possibly not that often. Because we tend to be in a hurry to get home. It’s dark. And there’s nothing to see up there anyway. Except there is … - [Then I saw your face](https://claesjonasson.com/then-i-saw-your-face/) (2019-10-02): The long distance train sped through miles of suburbs surrounding downtown. Greg was going back to the city to meet a woman he once knew. The last time blew up spectacularly. What would today be like when they meet again? - [Everything was better before — and the more before the better](https://claesjonasson.com/everything-was-better-before/) (2019-09-24): “The good old days.” “I miss the old days.” “Life was simpler then.” We look/think/dream back a few decades and see a time in the rearview mirror when the world was in ever so much better shape. - [It’s been good — time to end this](https://claesjonasson.com/its-been-good-time-to-end-this/) (2019-09-12): Scenario: You have a conference that is doing well. Would you end it because this is year 5 and the plan was to only do it 5 times? Or keep going, because you can? - [Day’s end](https://claesjonasson.com/days-end/) (2019-09-03): The long cattle drive had been like countless others. The trail comprised seemingly endless miles of sun scorched prairie. Days went by and the horizon was still only a line, without any signs of civilization. - [I wasn’t there — dealing with death and dying](https://claesjonasson.com/i-wasnt-there-dealing-with-death-and-dying/) (2019-08-21): A person is dying. Family gathered around for that last, meaningful goodbye. Except that's not always how it happens. We may not be there. Then what? --- # Full Content --- title: "Cookie policy" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/cookie-policy/" lang: "en-US" type: "page" description: "Cookie policy and consent tool Click here to review or change privacy cookie settings Cookie policy Please wait while the policy is loaded. 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Name(Required) First Last Email(Required) Message(Required) We’ll treat your information in accordance with our [Terms of Use](https://claesjonasson.com/terms-of-use/) and [Privacy Policy](https://claesjonasson.com/privacy-policy/). Submit Δ --- --- title: "Carensa Holt – morning on a train" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/carensa-holt-morning-on-a-train/" lang: "en-US" type: "page" description: "Morning on a train Long shadows and harsh sunlight that promised a hot day ruled the suburbs the train sped through. Once again it was morning on a train. While the big city of Paris woke to a new day," last_modified: "2025-06-07T21:41:27+00:00" --- # Carensa Holt – morning on a train [![Summer of '76 logo](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/summer-of-76ol3.svg)](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/) - [Main](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/) - [Excerpts](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/#story) - [Background](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/#background) - [Author](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/#author) ![Young woman looking out open train window](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Heidelberggirlstory.webp) # Morning on a train Long shadows and harsh sunlight that promised a hot day ruled the suburbs the train sped through. Once again it was morning on a train. While the big city of Paris woke to a new day, Carensa sat in a train car that with every rail joint left the metropolis further and further behind. Every now and then a poplar tree flew by outside the window. They disappeared without becoming anything other than blurry outlines, but still she could see that the deep green color no longer was so deep. Other trees that she could see more of, already showed yellow leaves here and there. August would end soon, and summer with it. Carensa turned into the train to not have to face the signs of an approaching autumn. Empty seats stared back at her. August was ending and the trains were no longer full. “If the trains aren’t so full anymore, then why are you still here?” Carensa asked herself the question. “I don’t know.” Carensa turned to the window again. “Maybe I stayed too long.” “Can you? I love traveling.” “Yeah, sure, it’s great. But when the leaves turn brown, then you know.” “Know what?” “That it’s time — time to go home. Summer is over.” “But I don’t want it to be over. This has been the best summer of my life. All my life. I just want to jump on a train, find a compartment and sit down and watch the countryside pass on by. I don’t want it to stop, not ever.” “Every train has to stop. Somewhere.” “Not for me they don’t. I’m going on.” “Not forever. See, the trees are turning.” “Then I’ll travel nights. So I don’t have to see those trees.” “If you wish. But the nights are longer now. And darker. And colder. Listen to the cold rain.” She closed her eyes in the strong morning sun. “I love nights in train stations. To just sit there and watch the mail trains and the baggage trains come in and the loading and unloading. It’s great.” “Not any more. That was last summer. Sure, the station workers still handle the packages and the mail and the trains still run. But they’ve changed. It’s a different world now.” “That’s impossible.” “But it is so.” “The signals still show green.” “They are changing now. They turn red. Watch out or you will miss your train.” “All those places. They’re still there. The trains still run. I can go there.” “But it wouldn’t be the same. Even the birds are leaving now. Another season is beginning.” “But my life was this summer. It can’t be over. It was supposed to be so much. I was going to do so much.” “You did it. Remember the places you went. The people you met. The many sunny days. All the trains.” “I was going to have the biggest adventure in my life. A dream come true.” “It came true. It is true. Summer is still there, in your mind. It is safe now. It is yours. You went to all the places, met people. You even almost learned to hate the sun and the heat.” “Now it’s over, just because of a few silly leaves losing their color.” “And because mornings are foggy and days cooler and nights longer. You have been on the road a long time. It’s always time to head home at some point. For you that is now.” “But I’m so not ready.” “You’ll be ready. You saw the signs. There are still a few days of summer left. Use them well.” “Just a few short days. I need time…” She leaned her head against the rattling glass, closed her eyes and listened to the bumps of the wheels under the floor. But a poor reflection as in a mirror… The journey wasn’t over yet. It couldn’t end this way. The train stopped at yet another small station. Next to the track was a sign, shining glaringly white in the sunlight. Sermizelles. The name meant nothing to her, and she had started to lean back in the seat again when she noticed the writing underneath, in smaller letters. Vézelay. She knew that the train didn’t actually go through Vézelay, where she was headed. But she thought that the connecting station was further down the line. Now she grabbed her backpack with record speed. By this time there was a certain force of habit there. With the shoulder bag in one hand, she pushed the door to the vestibule open and hurried off onto the platform. The train stood in a small station. A few whitewashed houses, a parking area and a bus. In the window of the red and white bus was a hand lettered sign: Vézelay. The air that met her on the platform was warm and smelled of summer meadow. She pushed up the backpack to balance it better, as she had done so many times before. Then she started walking towards the bus. There would always be a connection. Another train, another bus. So this was autumn. So the journey was almost over. So the summer was over. But there would be other. The driver, sitting at the wheel, put away his newspaper when she climbed aboard. She smiled at him. “Une. A Vézelay. S’il vous plaît.” [Back to Carensa story page](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/) ![Vezelay in distance on the hill, farm fields and vineyards in foreground](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/vezelay-hill.webp) --- --- title: "Carensa Holt – conversation on a train from Narvik to Copenhagen" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/carensa-holt-conversation-on-a-train-from-narvik-to-copenhagen/" lang: "en-US" type: "page" description: "Conversation on a train from Narvik to Copenhagen Leaving Narvik, the compartment had been full. She at first expected that the other five people were also going to Copenhagen, or at least a good deal of the way, maybe down" last_modified: "2025-07-04T21:09:41+00:00" --- # Carensa Holt – conversation on a train from Narvik to Copenhagen [![Summer of '76 logo](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/summer-of-76ol3.svg)](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/) - [Main](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/) - [Excerpts](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/#story) - [Background](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/#background) - [Author](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/#author) ![Lapplandspilen train going along river through forest](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/lapplandspilen-1.webp) # Conversation on a train from Narvik to Copenhagen Leaving Narvik, the compartment had been full. She at first expected that the other five people were also going to Copenhagen, or at least a good deal of the way, maybe down to Stockholm. To her surprise, they left much sooner, with the last two leaving in Boden in the early afternoon. Before she could get used to being alone, a woman not much older than her entered the compartment. She surveyed the seats and placed her handbag on the seat by the window, opposite Carensa, so far without a word spoken. The woman placed her suitcase up on the luggage rack, with some effort and then sat down, crossing her legs. Carensa was trying to size her up, without appearing too curious and pretending to still be reading _The Lord of the Rings_. She guessed the woman was in her late 20s, dressed in a black, long sleeved, fitted sweater over a white shirt with a big, pointed collar, paired with black, wide-legged slacks. A careful dresser, but not overdone, Carensa thought. Definitely not a train hiker. The woman had a big necklace with silvery loops and several stones that looked like amber. Her blondish hair was pulled back in a ponytail. “Are you American?” The woman was looking at Carensa, who put down her book and looked up. “Yes.” “Very well.” There was nothing more said for a minute or so. “Why are you here?” “I beg your pardon?” Carensa was truly baffled at this conversation opener. Not wanting to stick her foot in her mouth, she tried to stall and get a clarification before answering. “What made you come to Europe this summer?” “Vacation.” With the conversation with the German Marxists on the train up in mind, she didn’t really want to volunteer her life’s story to this strange woman. “I see.” The woman pulled out a thick research paper and proceeded to read it, pen in hand. Carensa watched her for a while. She assumed it was all in Swedish, but thought she recognized something about psychology on a page that hung down. The reading and relaxing was interrupted, so Carensa decided to do her part to break the ice. “Looks like a heavy dissertation,” she said. The woman looked up at her, then down on the paper, before answering. “This? Oh, yes, I suppose so. It’s a … examensarbete at the university.” “A ‘thesis’ then.” Carensa nodded, deciding the woman must be in a graduate program somewhere. Did they even have universities this far north? But the train was headed south. “Impressive. Yours?” Finally a quick smile from the woman. “Yes, I am studying psychology. This is my research project.” “What’s the topic?” “It’s a comparative study of the occurrence of social and sexual maladjustment in latch-key children.” “Yeah, wow, okay, great for you. I’m sure that’s very fascinating.” The woman seemed surprised. “Actually it is to me.” Another pause, fittingly marked by the change in motion and sound as the train speeded through some little train station. Carensa was about to return to reading about Frodo and Sam traversing the wasteland on their way to Mount Doom, when the woman spoke. “So you are one of the many young Americans who feel the need to express themselves by coming to Europe for a period of time. Something about the open road and a backpack. I suppose a search for the simplicity of nomadic lifestyle.” Carensa pondered. She felt that there was something condescending in all that. But heck, she’d had Human Behavior 101. “I don’t know about everyone else and I do think people travel for different reasons. Me, I just wanted my Sturm und Drang period.” The effect was there. “Ah, a touch of youthful rebellion, coupled with at least a fleeting familiarity with German philosophers. A little bit of Goethe naturally. Maybe even a bit of Hegel and Kant.” “A little. I tend to prefer my feet more on the ground.” “That’s a common response.” The woman put away her research paper. “Or maybe you respond that way because you are intimidated about what you might find out about yourself if you looked inside.” She leaned forward slightly. “Does Freud bother you?” When Carensa didn’t answer immediately, the woman continued. “I find that most young people who do the backpacking thing around Europe, do so to escape more so than to ‘find themselves.’ That is such a nebulous term anyway. What does that really mean?” Carensa was about to say something in response when the woman continued. “The real question is what you are trying to repress, what you are trying to get away from. My observation is that it is mostly the inherent stress in a patriarchal, non-equal society, focused on rabid consumption, such as yours.” “Wow, that is really … really something.” Carensa leaned back in her seat. Was the woman in front of her for real? “So you are saying,” she finally said, “that I am messed up because the US is an evil, capitalist empire, and I am just trying to run away from it all?” “It’s psychologically bankrupt, yes.” The woman nodded her head indicating an affirmative. “Some of your young people drift to the Orient to seek mysticism, looking for answers that your society won’t/can’t give them. Of course, they will only find more confusion in the fairy-tales encountered there.” “Right.” Carensa was beginning to wish she’d paid more attention in that Human Behavior 101 class, although she suspected that this woman was on a level far beyond that and not just because she was a graduate psychology student. “So dear, is the experience here in Scandinavia liberating you?” Carensa decided to keep the answer in the land of tangible experience. “It’s been great. I’ve met some wonderful people and gotten to visit places I’d only seen pictures of before.” “That’s nice. I am sure you will feel quite refreshed when you return home.” [Back to Carensa story page](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/) ![single line railroad in forest in Sweden](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/rail-line-forest.webp) --- --- title: "Carensa Holt – the hotel" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/carensa-holt-the-hotel/" lang: "en-US" type: "page" description: "The hotel Carensa was thrilled to be in Paris.  With the youth hostels all far out in the suburbs, she found herself in a small hotel on the Left Bank. It was one of those 1 star hotels that put" last_modified: "2025-06-07T21:41:40+00:00" --- # Carensa Holt – the hotel [![Summer of '76 logo](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/summer-of-76ol3.svg)](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/) - [Main](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/) - [Excerpts](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/#story) - [Background](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/#background) - [Author](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/#author) ![Paris, France view from Notre Dame across Seine towards Eiffel Tower](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/paris-cityscape.webp) # The hotel Carensa was thrilled to be in Paris.  With the youth hostels all far out in the suburbs, she found herself in a small hotel on the Left Bank. It was one of those 1 star hotels that put new meaning into the term “adventure travel.” Walking down narrow hallways and up creaking stairs, lit by bare lightbulbs hanging in their cords from the ceiling, she felt more like a character in a John le Carré novel than an American in Paris, and she would not have been surprised at hearing zither music from one of the rooms. She had called her girlfriend V from the train station to ask about bunking at her apartment up the street, but V made some explanation about how the concierge would be quite upset about such an arrangement. Carensa guessed that there was a story there. Knowing V, she wasn’t entirely surprised. So here she was, at a crummy little hotel, high up under the roof. In fact the sloping ceiling formed one of the walls of her room. The floor sloped too, the bed creaked, and she had already decided to use her own sheets. But she was on the Left Bank in the Latin Quarter, a stones throw (or really two or three) from the Notre Dame. In Paris and thrilled to be there. After leaning her backpack against the bed, making sure that act would not cause everything to collapse, she left the room, climbed back down the five flights of stairs and walked out of the hotel under the watchful eyes of the old woman at the front desk.  She walked into V’s apartment house under the equally watchful eyes of the concierge. That is, she didn’t actually see her, but she just knew the woman was there, somewhere beyond the half open door next to the little mailboxes inside the entrance gate. She hurried up the few flights of stairs and rang the doorbell.  After a minute or two, the door opened. Carensa found herself face to face with a round, copper-toned face surrounded by a huge mass of curly hair that could rival any afro she’d seen back home for size, even though this was not an afro but rather a giant, shoulder-length mane of tight curls seemingly shooting out in all directions. “Allo?” the strange girl said. “Hi, I’m Carensa, a friend of Vic … V’s. Is she here?” “Oh, V! Mais oui, come in.” [Back to Carensa story page](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/) ![Narrow street in Paris, France, at night](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/paris-street.webp) --- --- title: "Carensa Holt" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/" lang: "en-US" type: "page" description: "Too young for the Summer of Love … not radical enough for protest riots. Caught in a decade of turbulence, Carensa Holt looked for something to hang on to, trying to find herself. A novel by Claes Jonasson Carensa Holt" last_modified: "2025-07-04T21:24:53+00:00" --- # Carensa Holt [![Summer of '76 logo](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/summer-of-76ol3.svg)](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/) - [Main](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/) - [Excerpts](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/#story) - [Background](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/#background) - [Author](https://claesjonasson.com/carensaholt/#author) ![Carensa Holt - a coming of age story](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/carensaholt-yl.svg) Too young for the Summer of Love … not radical enough for protest riots. Caught in a decade of turbulence, Carensa Holt looked for something to hang on to, trying to find herself. _A novel by Claes Jonasson_ Carensa Holt was born and raised in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. Going to college meant a trek to neighboring Berks County and Kutztown State College. There she met the love of her life. But now the coed faced a summer between college semesters. With a boyfriend with whom she didn’t connect anymore. Or she could take a cheap flight on Icelandair to Luxembourg, get a 2-month Eurail pass, bring her big orange backpack, and explore Europe. In the process she just _might_ find what she was looking for. ![drawing of Carensa carrying her big backpack](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Carensa-shorts.webp) ![Pencil sketch of Carensa standing with her backpack on](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/First-Carensa2.webp) ![Claes in Berlin in 1975](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/CJ1975.webp)Claes in Europe in the 1970s **Note from the author:** In the 1970s I spent many months train hiking around the European continent. With one inexpensive pass you could board almost any train. Take a short ride to the next station or a long one, across half of Europe. I loved that freedom. As did many other young people. It was a cheap and very popular way to visit many countries. To see and experience different cultures. Every day I met new people, from around the world. Americans, Australians, Pakistanis, Canadians. Of course also other Europeans. Including other fellow Swedes. All of us traveling and exploring. It was a wonderful mixture of ideas and experiences. All that provided the inspiration for _Summer of ’76 — Carensa Holt: a coming of age story_. I wasn’t even traveling looking for a story to write. But at some train station along the way, Carensa just popped into my head and then never really left. One initial scene grew into a storyline. ## It’s a work in progress That means, among other things, there’s no final title yet. This book takes place in the summer of 1976. It’s about Carensa Holt, a 21 year old college coed traveling Europe with her backpack. The working title is “Summer of ’76” with the sub-heading “Carensa Holt — a coming of age story”. Here are a few “sneak peeks”: [![Young woman looking out open train window](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Heidelberggirlstory.webp)](https://claesjonasson.com/carensa-holt-morning-on-a-train/) ### [Carensa Holt – morning on a train](https://claesjonasson.com/carensa-holt-morning-on-a-train/) [![Lapplandspilen train going along river through forest](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/lapplandspilen-1.webp)](https://claesjonasson.com/carensa-holt-conversation-on-a-train-from-narvik-to-copenhagen/) ### [Carensa Holt – conversation on a train from Narvik to Copenhagen](https://claesjonasson.com/carensa-holt-conversation-on-a-train-from-narvik-to-copenhagen/) [![Paris, France view from Notre Dame across Seine towards Eiffel Tower](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/paris-cityscape.webp)](https://claesjonasson.com/carensa-holt-the-hotel/) ### [Carensa Holt – the hotel](https://claesjonasson.com/carensa-holt-the-hotel/) _“Right. … Mom, dad. Look, this is my chance to do something I’ve always wanted to do. This is my fricking summer.” Carensa threw her hands out. “I’ve worked like crazy all year to save up enough that I can go and do this and still be okay in fall. Next year I’ll graduate and go out and get a job. Wow … It won’t happen then.”_ --- --- title: "Login Designer" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/login-designer/" lang: "en-US" type: "page" description: "This page is used by Login Designer to preview the login form in the Customizer." last_modified: "2024-08-27T01:44:13+00:00" --- # Login Designer This page is used by Login Designer to preview the login form in the Customizer. --- --- title: "2 must-see classic French films" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/2-must-see-classic-french-films/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "A story about first love, so sweet and tender — and so fragile. And a story about transporting a very special car from Paris to Amsterdam.\n\nWhat could go wrong?" last_modified: "2026-03-23T18:44:01+00:00" categories: [Movies and TV] --- # 2 must-see classic French films ## The Umbrellas of Cherbourg  (Les Parapluies de Cherbourg)  (1964) ![Poster for 'The Umbrellas of Cherbourg'](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/umbrellas-of-cherbourg.webp) This is the movie where _every_ word is sung. I honestly wasn’t sure I’d like that. Or make it through to the end. After all, the only place where they sing every word, all the time, is opera. Which is not really my thing. But this is not opera. And, yes, it takes a bit getting used to the singing. Even when it’s as simple as “Hello, how are you today?” After a few minutes, it makes sense though. Simply part of a feeling of other-worldliness. Unusual, yet somehow so appropriate. Because of this different treatment, I become more aware, more focused on the story and what’s happening on screen. The sung dialog may be different, but everything else in the movie is quite realistic. Down to very bold and very late 1950s/early 1960s wallpaper. Cherbourg feels very tangible. It’s not simply some movie set in fantasyland. It feels like a place I might have grown up in. Or could visit. The film tells the story of Guy (Nino Castelnuovo), a young garage mechanic, and Geneviève (Catherine Deneuve), the 17-year old daughter of Madame Émery, the perennially pecuniarily challenged owner of a small umbrella shop. While there’s plenty of rain in Cherbourg, the shop doesn’t seem to do much business. Foreclosure is hanging over Madame. Guy and Geneviève are in love. The odds are already stacked against them, with him being a lowly car mechanic and her needing to marry into money to support Maman in the style to which she fancies herself accustomed. That’s enough to derail any first love. Add to that Guy being drafted into the army. Not just regular military training, but off to combat. Because France is at war in Algeria. He goes away with a mutual promise to write. Letters will keep their young love blossoming.  _Or not._ First love is full of energy and joy, but also ever so fragile. As the film progresses, it explores the 2 young lovers’ separation, their feelings for the absent person and the realities of day-to-day. Will their love conquer all? Or is it doomed? We, the audience, root for them in the face of everything stacking up against them.  Maybe the singing helps us get deeper in touch with the characters’ emotions. In a different way from if the dialog was simply spoken. This film comes out of the French New Wave cinema of the 1950s. Films exploring new ways of telling stories. Which this movie does in a visually stunning manner. At the same time managing to be both real and tender.  While we haven’t seen a rash of films with entirely sung dialog, _The Umbrellas of Cherbourg_ left a mark and became a classic, influencing filmmaking in the decades since it was made. Possibly most spectacularly by being a major inspiration for Damien Chazelle when he conceived and created his musical _La La Land_. Chazelle claims to have seen the movie more than 200 times: _“I’m not the only one who cries during this movie. … It hits you like a ton of bricks.”_ Maybe it’s not that far from always sunny California to the seemingly perennially rainy streets of Cherbourg. And who hasn’t experienced first love and all the elation and turmoil that goes with it? There’s a bit of Guy and Geneviève in most (all) of us. ## Trafic (1971)  ![Poster for 'Trafic'](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/trafic.webp) Mention Jaques Tati and many people think of his 1958 _Mon Oncle (My Uncle)_ where Monsieur Hulot is trying to make sense of modernism and consumerism. Or the scene at a train station in _Mr Hulot’s Holiday_ (1953) where hapless vacation travelers are sent scurrying back and forth between platforms by an utterly unintelligible loudspeaker. In _Trafic_ we again encounter Mr. Hulot. Now he’s a car designer for the up-and-coming auto manufacturer Alta. At least it will be up-and-coming if they can only get their brand-new, ingenious and very compact camping car to Amsterdam for the big, international car show. The one where orders will flood in once people see how wonderful the Alta camping car is.  The premise is so simple: Load the prototype camping car onto a truck. Drive said truck from Paris to Amsterdam (which is all in a day’s work). Set up the Alta booth at the international automobile show and present this new, convenient world of compact and mobile camping to show visitors. Hand out brochures and take orders. Success is bound to follow. There’s the slightly inept truck driver. Plus the highly confident and energetic “I am Public Relations” Maria who breezes in to take charge (and has a seemingly endless supply of situation-appropriate, very stylish outfits stashed in her roadster). But most of all, there’s Monsieur Hulot. We get the feeling he’d much prefer to stay at his drawing board, thinking up the next version of the camping car. Or perhaps a sports car with built-in picnic set, food storage and wine cellar. Turns out the road to Amsterdam is far more complicated than simply point the truck and drive. Because just about anything that could go wrong does on this road trip. It’s a heart-warming movie that not only finds, but diligently seeks out, the funny and absurd in our increasingly busy and stressed modern world of technology. It was spot-on in 1971. Car models and fashion styles have changed a lot since then, but it’s still amazingly spot-on today. Except of course we’ve added always-on interconnectedness. There are hilarious scenes of people in cars stuck in traffic exploring what they do in their “private” space inside the car when nothing is moving. The same scene today would include all the same things, _plus_ a high number of those people attached to their mobile devices. Now even more oblivious to their surroundings. As in other Tati movies, large parts of the story are told without words. Through actions, gestures and manners. Also timing and contrast. With plentiful sprinklings of absurd. Which is all very refreshing and makes for both enjoyable watching _and_ poignant storytelling. All the while, the movie also leads us to question this striving for always more, always newer. 1971 was a time of unbridled consumerism and little thought for where all of yesterday’s discards would go. (Although, how different is that from today, really?)  It’s a recurring theme for Tati: characters struggling with modernity, technology and rampant consumerism. But he also leaves us a glimmer of hope through all the everyday people appearing along the road and the relationships that evolve. In the midst of all the relentless modernity, it’s still human connections that will carry us forward and give life purpose. 2 films about people, relationships and a changing world. One that is becoming ever more complex, crowded and rushed. Where there seems to be no room for a small umbrella shop or an upstart auto maker. Both movies take unconventional approaches to story telling. One is full of words, all sung, which fundamentally changes how we perceive and interact with the story. The other goes for long stretches without words and when they’re used, economizes. Yet tells a very powerful story, full of meaning, undercurrent and texture. This unconventional story telling also challenges us as to how we see the everyday world around us. Am I stuck in a rut as far as interpreting events around me or am I looking at them with fresh eyes, from different perspectives? Because when we do the latter, we’re able to make better choices in relationships and in how we interact with technology — in short, making sense of life. --- --- title: "The tale of the green apple" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/the-tale-of-the-green-apple/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Once upon a time there was a garden in which stood an apple tree of the most imposing kind. Full of green, but still tiny fruits destined to become big, red, juicy apples in a few months." last_modified: "2024-11-02T01:37:14+00:00" categories: [Fiction] --- # The tale of the green apple Once upon a time there was a garden in the middle of which stood an apple tree of the most imposing kind. Already by early June it was full of green, but still tiny fruits, destined to become big, red, juicy apples in a few months. Only one branch was almost empty. It merely had two of those small soon-to-be apples close to its very tip. One hung where sunlight shone upon it and enjoyed the warm rays all day long. The other had come into the world behind a few leaves and only ever saw the shade from those leaves, with the sun-drenched world far beyond. Most of all that little apple wished to get out into the world, away from the shadows. “If I can only grow enough,” the small apple thought. “Then I can surely reach the sunshine. And then I’ll be as big as the other apples in no time.” Because even a very tiny and very green apple wants to become a big, juicy, red apple one day. Days and weeks went by in the garden. The apple in the sun grew bigger and bigger and eventually changed color from green to red, with splashes of yellow. The tiny apple in the shade also grew, but only a very little. And it remained green. Sometimes it even seemed that it was turning greener, instead of gaining even a hint of red on its surface. “If I was only where you are,” the green apple thought, looking at its now red brother. “If I just had as much sun, then I’d be the happiest of all apples. An apple is supposed to be large and red, with splashes of yellow. Everybody knows that. Definitely not green.” Yet the more that green apple longed to change color, the more stubbornly the green seemed to cling to it. The sun continued shining because it was one of those summers when the sun always shone. The kind that grown-ups always had when they were children, but nobody has nowadays. One day when the sun’s rays were at their prettiest, the gardener walked by the apple tree that was now weighed down by a mass of maturing fruit. Right in the middle of all those beautiful apples there was one that particularly caught the sun and reflected it, as if it was made of glass. He saw the glimmer of the reflection and stopped. “This apple is so ripe, I’d better pick it this minute,” he said to himself. “Otherwise it will start to rot and then it won’t be of any use to anybody.” In a flash he was by the branch and grabbed the apple. The green apple had just nodded off into a nap, tired from all its failed attempts at growing and ripening. With the whole branch shaking, it woke up rather brusquely. The leaves shook and opened up to display a horrific vision: That ripe, so very red, apple was gone. Nothing left of it at all. But some distance away the gardener was walking among the flowers, happily eating a large, very shiny and red apple. In sheer horror, the green apple shrunk together, turning even greener than before, while exclaiming: “If that’s what happens when you turn red and ripen — then I’ll never, never, ever turn red.” Quite a few leaves fell in the first storm of autumn and the sun tried in every way possible to warm the little green apple. But to no avail. It was and remained green. All the other apples were picked and carried off. Some that had fallen down on the ground, rotted and birds ate them when the weather turned cold.  Eventually all the leaves fell and the tree was now bare to the wind that was icy and howled through the branches. A naked tree in the snows of winter. Only that one little apple still hung on its branch, as green as ever. Only more dried up by now and no bigger than it had been in early summer. Still, it laughed to itself. “All those stupid apples were so eager to ripen,” it thought. That it had itself been exactly like them in the middle of summer was conveniently forgotten. “Then they ripened — got all red and pretty. But where are they now? Rotten. Or eaten. Thrown away on some rubbish heap. Forgotten! I’m the only one still hanging around. I will stay a little green apple and always hang here.” In the middle of winter a hungry bird came by and hopefully started pecking at the frosty apple. But the apple was now so hard and shrunken that the bird didn’t make the least impact on it. Worn out, it flew away. The apple still hung on the branch. Spring came with warm, playful breezes. “This is it,” the apple thought. “The worst is over. Now I will hang here and enjoy the sunshine. Life is good.” Because there were no leaves to block out the sun and the little apple didn’t know any better. One day when the wind was at its most playful and ran circles around the tree, it happened that the branch with the green apple broke off. The wind was of course very sorry, but the damage was done and there was nothing to be done about it.  The gardener came out and removed the fallen branch. The wind knows to tell that he took it home with him and carved little figures from it. His children were ever so delighted with their new toys. When the branch fell, the green apple got knocked off the branch and ended up by itself on the ground. The gardener then happened to step on it when he picked up the branch. Any other apple would have been squashed into a mess, but the green apple was so hard, it was just pressed into the soft ground. Like when you step on a rock. A worm came by, bumped its head against the apple and pulled back for a good look. The worm was rather confused. “You are a strange rock,” the worm said. “I am no rock — whatever that is. I am an apple. The world’s happiest apple.” The worm pondered and peered at the apple from side to side. “That’s of course possible,” said the worm. “On the other hand, I’ve sampled quite a few apples in my lifetime, if I may say so. From that I’ve obtained a certain amount of experience and never have I found an apple to be as hard as a rock. You are a rock, my friend.” The worm crawled on and the apple remained laying there. It probably still lies in that spot to this very day. At around the same time the gardener discovered a new little plant poking up out of the ground in a corner of the garden. He bent over and looked more closely. “Well, what do you know? If my old eyes aren’t entirely mistaken, that’s an apple tree. But how…” He pondered for several days. “Now I’ve got it,” he exclaimed one day. “By Jove, I’ve got it. That big, very red apple, the first one I picked last autumn. I threw the core in that corner after I ate the apple. Now the seeds have started growing and up comes a teeny, tiny little apple tree.” The gardener was so happy with the new tree that he took extra good care of it and made sure it grew well. Several years later it produced the first fruit.  Both then and later, the gardener insisted that the fruit was every bit as red and juicy as the apple those seeds had come from. And all who saw the new apple tree were amazed at the very fine fruit it produced. _“Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”_ _“No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me._ _I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”_ _The Gospel of John 12:24-25, 15:4-5 (NIV)_ --- --- title: "Of daffodils and tanks" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/of-daffodils-and-tanks/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Daffodils in the depth of winter: Will they stand against ice, wind and rain? A country overtaken by an invasion: Can it endure? Lessons amidst frailty." last_modified: "2024-09-09T01:40:42+00:00" categories: [Hope, Ukraine] --- # Of daffodils and tanks In the dead of winter all is cold, trees are bare and the world seems rather dead or at least very much in hibernation. The days are getting longer in January, but spring still seems very elusive. The world in winter’s grip. So it’s extra exciting to see those very first, ever so tender green shoots poke out of the cold ground. If far enough north, those might be snowdrops. A hardy little flower that will poke up while there’s still plenty of snow around. It just needs the tiniest amount of bare ground. Then it shoots up and unveils its small white flowers. ![snowdrop flowers surrounded by snow](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/snowdrops-1024x597.webp)Snowdrops surrounded by snow Here in the Southern US where I live, the harbinger of spring is the daffodil. A few warm days even in January and you’ll see slender green blades inch their way skyward. Next thing they thicken out and there are buds and you know it’s just not going to be that long before those blossoms pop out. ![daffodil buds as ice storm hits](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/daffodil-buds-in-ice-1024x597.webp)Daffodil buds as ice storm hits ## **An ice storm** But then it gets cold again. Even an ice storm, like we had a few weeks ago where everything was covered by a quarter of an inch of ice. Very clear ice, but ice nevertheless. You look at those tender buds encased in that ice and think that surely that will be the end of that. The plants tried, but we got a freeze and ice. Surely they’re not going to recover from that. We’re just not going to have much for spring flowers this year. A few days go by and the ice melts away. Frankly, the plants don’t seem much worse for wear. One of those truly amazing things. All that ice. And frost. How could any bud possibly make it through that? But it did. Not only did the one bud make it. But soon flowers popped out. Now every day there are more. Beautiful flowers. So bright. So golden yellow. Like little spots of sunshine come down to earth. Each seeming to shout that spring is coming and there’s nothing that winter can do to stop it. ## **A dark and stormy night** But then we got a dark and stormy night of torrential rain.  If the wind doesn’t get those slender plants, surely the heavy raindrops crashing down will break the blades and flowers. Beat them to shreds.  Yet when morning came, after the storm moved on, the flowers were still there. All that happened really was those daffodils were now bent down close to the ground. Still golden yellow. And a day or so later they had straightened up again to point to the sky. There is incredible resilience in growing things in nature. Plants make it through very adverse conditions even as they seem so fragile. Not only do they make it through, but they prosper. Instead of being knocked down and that’s the end, they’re back. With more of them popping out.  Other spring flowers now joining into the chorus. Even trees begin budding. This year we’re seeing an absolutely astounding color explosion in our front yard. And it’s only February. I’m thrilled to enjoy every minute of it. Looking at that relentless perseverance lends itself to drawing some parallels. ![Destroyed Russian armored vehicle by roadside in Ukraine](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/destruction-of-war-1024x597.webp)A burned-out Russian armored carrier is all that’s left after a meeting with the Ukrainian army ## **A special operation** Because a year ago a large country in Eastern Europe decided it wasn’t content with its little neighbor and launched what they euphemistically called a ‘special operation’. In reality a brutal annihilation campaign. With the goal to knock out the entire country of Ukraine in less than a week. While replacing the government there with a puppet ditto that would be happy to forever do the bidding of the masters in the Kremlin. But a funny thing happened on the way to Kyiv. Because that ragtag Ukrainian army held their ground. The Russian column simply stopped. Parked along the road and eventually melting back across the border. The entire war shifted to the eastern part of Ukraine into a long and very slow slog. Here we are a full year into this incredibly brutal war of attack that was only supposed to last less than a week. With no particular end in sight.  Because guess what. To the Russians. Ukraine looked frail, like those little flowers in my front yard. Couldn’t possibly withstand the blast of arctic air. The Chill from the North. They would surely be crushed. After all, each one of those tender daffodils is entirely at the mercy of the environment around it.   The evil overlord masterplan was to replace a democratically elected government and make Ukraine an interior part of a reemerging Russian Empire. A plan that is fading further and further away. Like winter when faced with an explosion of spring flowers. ## **Still standing** Because Ukraine stands. Yes, with horrible losses. But it’s still standing and fighting back. Beyond its borders, where not that many years ago there were all kinds of questions about the relevance of NATO and we saw a changed Europe where Russia was increasingly a key trade partner, we’re seeing NATO united.  Plus the thing I never, ever expected to see — being born in Sweden and having done military service there: The day when Sweden applied for membership in NATO. After all, Sweden fought its last war in 1809, a staunchly neutral country. Sweden fought its last war in 1809 (losing Finland to Russia). But over the last year the security situation in Europe has fundamentally changed. There’s recognition that if Ukraine falls, it will just be a matter of time before the same playbook will be applied to other former East Bloc countries. We’re talking Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Romania. The Balkan states. Given the rumblings about getting back to the Russian Empire in all its glory, Finland will also be in the crosshairs, since it was controlled by Russia from 1809 until after World War I. Ukraine didn’t cease to exist after _Holodomor_. (Learn about this genocide [here](https://www.britannica.com/event/Holodomor) and [here](https://holodomormuseum.org.ua/en/).) Wounded hurt, pushed down, but it didn’t cease to exist. They endured another 58 years of being one of the socialist republics making up the Soviet Union.  Until after _perestroika_ and _glasnost_ unfolded they gained their independence.  ## **A moment of hope and opening** The early 1990s was an exciting time in Eastern Europe. Former East Bloc countries made the transition to be come democratic nations. There was the possibility of actually seeing a Russia that was open and ready to become a real part of Europe. Of course that ended with the door swinging shut as president-for-life Putin vowed to make Russia great again. To resurrect the Russian Empire into all its very former glory.  Those plans apparently leave no room for an independent Ukraine. So here we are a year into a conflict that was supposed to be over in less than a week. With more destruction ahead. Yet I’m encouraged by how this scrappy country stands up against an invader that at least on paper should be able to walk right across them. It seems just like those early daffodils stand up even as they get hit by ice, wind and torrential rain. But emerge still standing. And blazing light into what has been a brown and rather dead world. New growth and hope. While winter might roar, it can’t stop the coming spring, which will win in the end. To paraphrase the Bard: All that looks frail is not actually so. _Quite the contrary._ ![large cluster of daffodils in bloom](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/daffodils-in-bloom-1024x580.webp) --- --- title: "Your new trip around the sun" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/your-new-trip-around-the-sun/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "A few days into the new year, a friend greeted me this way: \"I hope you enjoyed these first days of your new trip around the sun.\" — Say what?" last_modified: "2024-09-09T01:45:26+00:00" categories: [Life purpose] --- # Your new trip around the sun A few days into the new year, a friend greeted me this way: “I hope you enjoyed these first days of your new trip around the sun.” That’s a slightly different way to say “Happy New Year”. I like it. It’s also a phrase that adds perspective. Which is needed. Because frankly, we wish everybody a “Happy New Year” and then just a few days later everything is the same old routine and you couldn’t tell that there’s anything new or different about the year. Unless of course you look at a calendar and see that it’s January. Even then, those little squares and numbers marking the days quickly blend together. But that image of a new trip around the sun is like a giant zoom-out to a wider-than-cinemascope format. A very different perspective. We usually think of the world — the Earth — as stable. Solid. Firm. We ignore that it rotates around its axis every day at a blistering speed. We also definitely ignore that the entire Earth is hurtling through space in a mostly circular path around the sun. This too at a speed so high we have nothing to compare with.  Somewhere on that Earth. Are we. You and me and everyone else.  ## Spinning in cosmos That’s at the big, cosmic level. The one where the Sun is one among many stars in our galaxy, which is one of many in the universe. The Earth is one of several planets circling the Sun. To be sure, the only one of them with life as we know it on it. But cosmically tiny. ![Earthrise from Apollo 8 on Dec 24, 1968](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/NASA-Apollo8-Dec24-Earthrise.webp)Earthrise: View of the Earth rising above the moon horizon from Apollo 8 on December 24, 1968. Photo: NASA. If we were out in space looking back at the earth (Hello, Apollo 8, which gave us that first view of the earth from a lunar orbit), we’d see some different colors which we know indicate land masses and sea. But all so small you really don’t see anything man-made. Definitely not individual people. ## It’s personal On a personal level, the phrase “your new trip around the sun” is a reminder that I’m not the center of the universe. Which is actually a relief. Since it means that everything and everybody doesn’t depend on me. Or you. Because we’re not at the center of it all. (A narcissist on the other hand does think they are the center of the entire universe and act accordingly, but that doesn’t change the cold, hard fact that they’re just ONE of around 8 billion people on this earth ball flying through space.) There’s a funny thing about trips, journeys. The first time we go on one, it’s all new and a giant discovery. The second time we make the same trip it’s already becoming routine.  By the time we’ve done that same journey many times over an extended period of time, maybe years, we don’t even remember the individual trips. We made them, but nothing stood out. It was all the way it usually is. ABBA beautifully captured that sense of repetition and being barely conscious of each different day in their song _The Day Before You Came_. Here are the opening lines: _Must have left my house at eight, because I always do My train, I'm certain, left the station just when it was due I must have read the morning paper going into town_ It’s not just going to or from work that blends together. There are days when at the end of the day I sit down with my journal and have to really think about what happened during the day. Just hours ago. Because it’s already starting to get mixed up. So many things we do that seem quite important in the moment and only half a day later we don’t recall them. Now that’s not all bad. If every single thing that happened required very deliberate and conscious thought and effort on our part, we’d be totally worn out by lunch time. We need routines. We need to be able to do some aspects of life without thinking a whole lot about them. ## Present in the present But we tend to let too much go on auto-pilot. We don’t enjoy the travel time, because it’s all about getting to the destination and once at the destination, we are busy checking in to see how things are going back at the office or at home. We’re not present in the present. There was the time I was on a video shoot in Germany and Italy. Jim, the content specialist, had set things up so we’d work for a couple weeks and then on the tail end have several days free as a mini-vacation before we all returned to the US. His wife Ellen was a travel agent and arranged the entire itinerary (which took some doing). She came along for the entire trip. Great plan. Until Jim realized that he’d double booked. He was due back in the US for a conference before our European trip was over. So at the end of the work part, he flew home to get back to work. While the rest of us (including Ellen) headed up into the Alps for those longed-for days of vacation. Wonderful days. Just not for Jim. In the very early days of January a new year is fresh and truly full of possibilities. Because at that point we still have to think before writing the year. We’ll even get it wrong once or twice. The thought that this is a new year is still with us. After all, the new year is only a day or two or three old. So it feels very present and fresh. ## A year full of possibility We make those New Year resolutions. Because full of possibility. And then forget about them as the days march on. There are ways to keep the resolutions from getting forgotten, but that requires some effort. Ongoing. It’s all too easy to echo Scarlett from _Gone with the Wind_: “I’ll think about that tomorrow.” And then tomorrow never comes. Yet here we are, still early in 2023. Still very much a year full of possibility. Possibility that can become reality if I don’t just push it off for tomorrow. Instead think about it today. And take action. Because what really matters in life is not so much those great sprints. The push against all odds. The once-in-a-lifetime achievement. Sure, they’re nice and all that. If and when they happen.  But consistent action, even small actions, over a period of time will yield results. Sure, it takes a while to see it amount to anything. Kind of like when you start reading a 500 page book. After several days of reading for a bit every so often, it still doesn’t seem like you’ve made it very far. But you keep going, because after all the story is building. And one day you look at the book and you’re halfway through. That’s consistent action over time playing out. You’ve probably also heard about the effect of compounding interest on savings. That’s another case of consistent action over a (long) period of time. After all, if I don’t take any action today, I will definitely be no closer to my goal than I was yesterday or the day before or whenever I actually did take some action last. Continue like that and before I know it, this trip around the sun will be over and I’ll have nothing to show for it. Except another year older. (And no wiser.) (For tips on making resolutions and goals that stick, check out this post: _[Shaping the story of your 2021](https://claesjonasson.com/shaping-the-story-of-your-2021/)_.) Getting back to resolutions, since we’re still in January: Maybe the biggest resolution you or I can make on this trip around the sun is to treasure every day for the gift it is. That we get to live and be present on this planet for another day. What can I do today to make this a better place? For me and for those around? How can I bring a smile to someone? Meet a need? Help make somebody else’s possibility become reality? Then this trip around the sun shall have been all worth it. ![group of happy people, old and young, with sun rising behind them](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/happy-people2-1024x597.webp) --- --- title: "Weekend goodbye" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/weekend-goodbye/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Mark was on a train heading home after seeing his friend Sabrina over a weekend. A pleasant visit.\n\nThe last moments at the train station kept lingering in his mind." last_modified: "2024-09-03T21:42:26+00:00" categories: [Fiction] --- # Weekend goodbye A whistle blew, and the train doors started closing. Mark had been leaning out the doors, trying to get a few last words in. As they closed, he hurried into the passenger compartment and slid into a seat by the window. He pressed his head against the glass. Sabrina was still standing there on the platform. All dressed up like she was going to a party or some fancy event. But, no, she’d put on that outfit just to take him to the train station. Then the train began to move and the platform slipped away. The tracks went in a long curve that let him look back at the shrinking figure still there on the platform. Until trees along the train tracks finally obscured the view. He was going home. The weekend visit with Sabrina was over. Sabrina and Mark were both in their late 20’s and good friends who now lived in different cities, a couple hours apart by train. A few times a year one of them would travel to the other for a weekend. Just to spend time together. To catch up. To keep the friendship fresh. Last Friday was another one of those getting-together weekends. He arrived by train towards evening, yet still too early for her to be off work. So he waited for her in a park near the train station. It wasn’t long before she came walking toward him. They hugged like they always did. To Mark it was instantly as if no time at all had passed since he last saw Sabrina. Certainly that was how it felt as they walked to get a pizza, already eagerly talking and catching up on everything. Mark smiled at the memory. There were plenty of people where, when he met them again, after that initial “How are you?” and a bit of catching up, things always went to silence. No, not just silence, but awkward silence. Because they’d already run out of things to say or connect about. It was never like that with Sabrina.  Last Friday proved the point. They picked up a pizza and ambled down to the riverwalk. Seated on a bench, with the river panorama in front of them, they enjoyed their meal together. The day had been warm and even though it was already fall, it was very comfortable outside..  The back and forth of the conversation only stopped long enough for them to finish the pizza. They continued talking in the car on the way to her place. The more they talked, the more there seemed to be to talk about. To laugh about. To share. In short, it was just like any other time they got together. Familiar and comfortable. Instant reconnection. They were proof that guys and gals can be friends. They’d known each other forever. Or at least 6 or 7 years. When they met, they lived in the same city. Then life happened and they were now in different locations, working on establishing themselves on career tracks and life. There was that one time, when they’d enjoyed a bottle or two of wine maybe a bit too much and it was getting really late. As he recalled it was after she’d recently broken up with a boyfriend. He hadn’t felt so great about life either.  As the evening went on and the wine went down, they both waxed introspective and pondered, as only 20-somethings can, what their lives would be when they turned ancient at the age of 40. Neither of them could later remember who said it first: “If we both get to 40 and are not married by then, do let’s get married. Because clearly nobody should grow old alone.” They both laughed and agreed that was a splendid idea. Then they finished the bottle and nothing more was said, then or at any time later, about this splendid idea. They just went on being friends. About 2 hours apart by train. The train had now left her city far behind and sped into a darkening evening that would be night by the time it got to Mark’s station. He leaned his head against the cool glass of the window, feeling the low-frequency vibrations from the train. It was somehow soothing. The train slowed down and stopped in a small town somewhere along the line. A few people got on. A few got off. He watched a couple girls make their way from the train to the station exit. Laughing and happy. Clearly their day in the city had been a good one. Saturday had been good too. Different, but good. He and Sabrina did friend-things: Explored the farmer’s market. Went hiking along a rail-trail. Did some shopping downtown.  They also had a heart-to-heart about their futures. It started with him telling her about the big change coming in his life: “They’re closing operations in my city. Of course offering us all to relocate to the mothership. Which will mean I’ll be a good 8-10 hours away by train from friends and family.” “So what are you thinking of doing?” She looked at him with genuine empathy. “I mean, that’s a tough decision. You’ve worked hard to get established and now they want you to move that far away just to keep your job. Wow.” She was silent for a moment. “I’m not sure I could do that. … But then … you’ve spent a lot of effort to get where you’re at, for quite a while. Giving that up would be so…” Her voice trailed off into quietness. He nodded. “I started to put out feelers about other jobs in my field. But they’re closing the entire office. If it was just me, I’m sure I could find something comparable in the area before too long. But the entire office. That’s a lot of us who’ll be competing for the same jobs at the same time.” Again they both quietly reflected for a while. “So I really don’t know.” He turned towards her. “You know, you’re really the first person I’m talking with about this. Haven’t even told my parents yet. I know they’ll be disappointed if I’m that far away. Especially after my sister and her husband moved even farther away last year. And I would miss it too. So nice to be able to pop over for a visit.” Mark on the train mentally reviewed that conversation. He hadn’t said anything to her about those 8-10 hours being in the opposite direction from her city. So he’d be 8-10 hours plus another 2+ hours away from her. That would definitely limit how often they got together like this.  He could see how that would play out. A solid friendship becoming more sporadic because they wouldn’t — couldn’t — see each other as much. There’s after all a big difference between being 2 hours away and 10 or 12 hours away. Between seeing each other in person several times a year to maybe once, if all went well. Possibly not at all. But now he wondered why he hadn’t said anything about all that. Or why she hadn’t asked. Maybe he overestimated the value of their getting together every so often. Or the depth of their friendship The darkening world rushing by outside the window offered no answer. They were walking along a newly opened rail trail. She’d been uncharacteristically quiet for a few minutes. “You’re not the only one dealing with change,” she finally said. “I heard the other day that there’s some question about continued funding for the hospital for the research project I’m working on.” “So it might go away? Earlier than planned?” She nodded. “Something like they’d pull the plug on us and pass our work on to some other university hospital or even private company to continue, or in the case of private company, likely bury.” “How would that affect you? Will you still have a job?” She shook her head. “That’s the thing. I should still have a job. But then again, maybe not. Because they’re shaking things up. I really don’t know what will happen if the research funding goes away before the project is complete.” “Surely you could find something else in your line?” “Probably. Maybe. But the thing is, I’m doing what I’m doing because I really like it. I don’t want to work on something just for a paycheck.” That evening he went with her to a party. A group of her friends gathered at somebody’s house to celebrate somebody else’s birthday. It felt a little odd to pop into this group of people she knew so well and was entirely at ease with. But at the same time, he was glad that she did include him with her local friends. It would have been all too easy to keep her friendship with him an entirely separate thing from the friends she was around all the time. Because she’d included him before, he knew a few people at the party. There were even a couple guys in the group who like him worked with data management. He enjoyed catching up with them and finding out what was going on in their part of the universe. As they were chatting, the thought came to him, however briefly, to say something about looking at a job change. Maybe they knew of some openings around here. But he refrained. Because as innocent as that might be, it might also seem to signal something unintended. Definitely not the thing to do, at least not without first talking with Sabrina about it. She’d also know what their situation was. Even so, later that night, as he was bedded down on Sabrina’s couch, waiting in the dark for sleep to come, he pondered that this was a pretty nice area. He could get used to living here. It would sure beat being 10 hours away. If there was a job opportunity around here. The train stopped at yet another station. Mark wondered what it would be like living in one of the towns the train went through. People going about their business, day in and day out. Some of them leaving on the train. A few getting off. He didn’t really want to move. He liked it where he lived. Had a good circle of friends. Was part of a good church community. Life was settled. But it was about to be unsettled. Because his job was going away. The thought of starting from scratch, in a place where he knew nobody and nobody knew him wasn’t that appealing. Oh, it could be done. Of course, but it wasn’t what he was looking for at this point. He wanted to build deeper relationships. Put down roots. Not move and start over. Dating hadn’t gone anywhere serious for Mark. After college, there was a long dating relationship that eventually fizzled out. Then more recently some shorter relationships. None that got terribly deep before going off to nowhere. And his share of first dates that ended with “Thanks for a nice evening.” ‘Nice’ being the kiss of death for a first date. He sometimes wondered if Sabrina was having any more luck in that department. If she was, she wasn’t telling him. And he didn’t ask. That was about the only area they really didn’t talk about. Sure he’d known about it when she dated a guy for a couple years. He’d even met him one time. But that was it. So there was one area their friendship didn’t go. Sunday morning they went to her church. As usual Mark noticed that some of the married ladies paid extra attention when he came in with Sabrina and they sat down together. To those close by where they sat down, she simply introduced him as her friend Mark. But he gathered from those second looks that at least some people recognized having seen him before with Sabrina. Then again, married women always seemed to want to pair off young adults.  It did make him wonder a bit when he noticed a couple guys his age looking at him and Sabrina both two and three times. Did they maybe perceive a competition? In the car, on the way back to Sabrina’s place, he mentioned it: “I kind of noticed that a couple of the guys did a double or triple take when they saw me with you in church today. Me thinks maybe at least one of them is interested in you.” “Yeah, well, that might be.” Sabrina shrugged her shoulders. “They’re nice guys and all. But…” Her voice trailed off. Mark waited for her to add something more of explanation, but she didn’t and eventually the subject changed. They had a great lunch together at a hole-in-the-wall barbecue place and the subjects of guys at church or anywhere else or dating in general never came back up. Sabrina was all focused on needing to spend much, if not all, of the afternoon preparing a presentation connected with the research project. Mark was disappointed, because later in the evening he’d be getting on the train to go home. So this was their last afternoon together. Until they met again, whenever that would be. And she’d end up spending it pouring over reports and what not at her kitchen table. Good thing he’d brought a book.  “You know,” he said after a while. “I could just get a cab or something to the train station. You don’t have to stop what you’re doing to take me tonight. That way you might actually be able to get to bed and catch some shut eye. You know, so you can be a human being when you give that presentation tomorrow.” She wouldn’t have it. “Mark, don’t be silly. I will take you. Of course I will take you. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?” “A sane one, with a lot on her plate tonight.” He looked straight at her. “Really don’t see that how I get to the station it would change anything about us being friends.”  There was a brief pause.  “We’re always friends,” he continued. “No matter what.” “Then that settles it.” She gave him that raised eyebrow smile that only she did. “I’m taking you to the train.” “But that’s at least an hour. Probably more. That you could be working on the presentation.” “Which this conversation is keeping me from getting to.” With that she started to get up from the table. He followed her. Obviously further discussion was useless. On the train, Mark reluctantly pondered the afternoon of just a few hours earlier. He conceded to himself that it wasn’t his finest moment. Because it had hurt that she’d planned things so that she needed to work on the presentation while he was there. Something which had been scheduled weeks ago. Surely she could have used evenings earlier in the week to get it done. That’s what he would have done if he’d been expecting her to visit. Or any guest for that matter.  But after some more pondering, his feelings softened. Her job was in danger. Just as much as his. So would he really have acted differently in her shoes? He had to admit that he probably wouldn’t. Which is why he’d offered to make dinner for them. So she could keep working. And she hadn’t said no, but let him do his thing in her fridge and kitchen. They sat in the living room to eat dinner, since the kitchen table was still covered with her books and papers. Halfway through the improvised and somewhat eclectic meal, she looked at him. “I am impressed with what you came up with. I didn’t get to the store like I’d planned before you came. I’ve been working on this presentation every spare moment the last week.” “You’re welcome. I know you’re pushing hard to pull this together and if it can help keep the research project going, then you need to give it its best shot.” “Thanks.” She put a hand on his. “I really appreciate your understanding and encouragement this afternoon.” She gestured at their emptying plates. “This was just a really nice treat — to not have to worry about food.” She didn’t complain when he did the dishes after they were done eating. The time had come. He was all packed. Ready to go. “Are you sure you want to take the time?” he asked. “I could still call a ride.” “Not happening.” She got up from the table and headed off to her bedroom. “I’ll be back in a few.” A few minutes later she was indeed back. Transformed. Dressed up. Skirt, boots, very nice top. Ready to go places. “Wow. You look great.” The words just slipped out before he even had time to think. “Thanks. Ready to head out to the car?” They drove to the train station. The entire way in lively conversation. If the afternoon had been quiet, they were making up for it now. And then some.  “If this grant funding dries up, I really don’t know what I’ll do,” she said. “This is truly what I enjoy doing. Not sure I want to go back to the way things were before.” “I understand. Plus, things don’t ever go back to the way they were before, do they?” “That’s it. They don’t. Things are said and can’t be unsaid.”  When they got to the train station, he was surprised that she didn’t pull up in front of the entrance to drop him off, but instead headed for a parking spot across the street. He started to protest, but she cut him off: “I’m coming in with you.” All parked and unloaded, they headed into the train station and out on the platform where his train would soon come in. All the while keeping the conversation going. “Sabrina, I watch you do your work. You’re good. You’re focused. If this project falls apart, there will be others. It might get crazy for a while, but you’ll be okay.” “Thanks.” She quickly turned away to look down the track. He thought he’d seen tears coming on. So this wasn’t just hypothetical. She might be in a very different place the next time they met. As might he. Far out there, they could see the headlights of the approaching train. “Of course you’re one to talk,” she said after a minute as she turned back toward him. “Your world could change every bit as much. Who knows where you’ll be a couple months from now.” The train was coming in to the platform. As always, it felt to him like it was going way too fast. Like it was going to overshoot the platform and leave him and everyone else behind. Which at this point wouldn’t be so bad. Because he wouldn’t have to finally say goodbye to Sabrina. They’d talked nonstop the entire way here and still it didn’t seem like they were anywhere near finished. But the train stopped. Just as he was about to head towards an open train door, Sabrina grabbed his arm.  “I saw you talking to Thomas and Jeremy last night at the party.”  She doesn’t miss a thing, he thought. The data guys. But why bring that up now? “Did they have any ideas for you?” “I didn’t …” But this was not the moment to dive into all the reasons for why he hadn’t mentioned his job search to them last night. He had to get on that train. Which meant saying goodbye.  They hugged. How long is too long for hugging a friend? he asked himself. But right now he didn’t care. He started to let go and then hugged her again. “Have a safe trip.” “Thanks. You go floor them with the presentation.” “Thanks for coming.” She looked at him, very close. “Last Thursday, I almost called you to ask you not to come. I’m glad you came.” “Thanks. Always glad to spend time with you.” He headed towards the train door and once in the train car, turned around and leaned out. She was right there, eyes on him. “We’ll talk soon.” And now he was on the train headed home. The weekend was over. He’d relived most of it in his memory.  Just one thing remained: He hadn’t figured out the whole dressing up to take him to the train station thing. Or was there something more to it? Maybe she wasn’t going back home after his train left. Maybe she was going somewhere you’d dress up like that for. A party. An event. Something she hadn’t chosen to tell him about. After all, they didn’t talk about every single thing going on in their lives. Good friends, yes, but even so, many things they didn’t talk about with each other. Like dating.  Hadn’t he seen her talking with some of her girlfriends last night and caught a few words here and there before they dragged her off to speak without being overheard? Something about “you have to come”, “it’ll be spectacular” and somebody “will be there”. Was he starting to get jealous? It was back to that feeling of how she’d put him on hold while he was there so she could work on her presentation and now that he’d left, she was off to hang out with friends he knew nothing about. Such of course is the nature of being long-distance friends. There are huge parts of each others’ lives you know nothing about. Or at least very little. He looked at his phone. He could send her a text. Thank her for the weekend. If she really was at home, she’d respond pretty quickly. If at a party, probably not at all. Of course it might also feel to her like he was checking up on her. Making sure she really did go home. In the end he decided texting her now was a bad idea all around. If she had indeed chosen to go to a party or some other event, that was her business. They were friends. Didn’t control each other’s lives.  It had been a good visit. He should just leave it at that. There were friends. They would remain friends. Besides, he might be moving far away in just a few months. Not exactly the ideal time to pursue a relationship He looked out into the darkness swooshing by. But his mind was still stuck on why she’d dressed up to take him to the train station. She really hadn’t needed to change from what she’d worn all afternoon at all. Not for a quick drive to the train station. And if she felt the need to change, she’d definitely overdressed for going to the station. One part of his brain wanted to kick himself. Apply Occam’s razor, you dummy. What’s the less convoluted explanation? What if she dressed up and took you to the train and stayed until the train left precisely because she wanted to? What if she did it for you? Because she was saying something by action that she hasn’t said in so many words. That she really does care. Maybe even that she likes you. Or something more. But is not ready to say that because that’s goes beyond being friends. And like she did say earlier today, once you say the words, any words, you can’t unsay them. Being friends can be a comfortable state with lots of latitude. Because friendships come in all sizes and shapes. Then at certain points there’s that fear of overstepping. Of trying to take what is not ready to the next level. Because if you do and it’s too far, it’s next to impossible then to go back to being friends, close or casual. She’d said as much back at her place, right before they left: “Things are said and can’t be unsaid.”  You idiot. All of a sudden he felt that he had totally blown something tonight. Had missed on cues that should have been obvious. She sent you a message, you idiot, and you didn’t even remotely catch on. The dark outside the window kept rushing by. So what do I do now? Or do I do anything?  Those questions kept coming back to him. If this was some romantic movie, he thought, I would of course have caught on and never gotten on the train. Or if I’d gotten on the train, I would have stepped off at the next station to catch a train back. Which made him wonder if there even was a train heading the other direction tonight. He guessed there probably was. But where to get off to be certain to catch it? And how to explain when he showed up at her door late in the evening? Totally unexpected. Yeah, that’s if my life was a movie. But this is me and real life.  He stayed on the train. The train got in to the station in Mark’s town right on time. It was long after sunset and getting a bit chilly as he walked home from the station. But he needed that cool air to clear out his spinning head. His apartment was exactly like he’d left it just a few days earlier. He dumped his stuff down inside the door and dropped himself down on the couch. He sat there for a long while, just staring at his phone.  Then he started to compose a text message: ‘Made it home okay. Thanks again for a wonderful weekend. Always great to see you.’ Hit send. Then he waited. In the dark. He nodded off after a while. Woke up and looked at the phone. Nothing yet. He decided to go get something to drink when the phone chirped. ‘Up to my eyeballs in the project stuff. Saw your text just now. Thanks for coming. Always great to see you too.’ He looked at those lines of text. Encouraging. But kind of neutral. Certainly not gushy. No ‘can’t wait until next time.’ He started to type something back and changed his mind. Erased. The started again. Got up and walked around the apartment. Why was this so hard? Just a simple text. The phone screen glared at him. He erased what he’d typed and stared again: ‘I was thinking. We did a lot of talking today. But feels like it wasn’t finished. Like there’s more to say.’ Hit send. The waiting. A couple minutes went by. Then her response popped up: ‘We did talk. And there’s a lot to talk about. I value your thoughts.’ This was the moment. Sink or swim. Things that are said (or typed) can’t be unsaid. ‘So I was thinking I could come back over to see you next weekend. So we can continue the conversation.’ What if she comes back with that a phone call will be enough? Seconds ticked by. Feeling like hours. Then his phone vibrated. ‘Can you do that? That’s a lot of travel for you.’ On an impulse he swiped the text app off and stopped with his finger hovering over the phone icon. Then almost without him willing it, his finger pushed the listing for her phone number. There was silence and then her voice: “Tired of typing?” Before he could change his mind or get cold feet, he blurted it out:  “Would it be okay if I come over again next weekend? Just feel like there’s so much going on that we just started to talk about.” There was silence for a moment. “Yes, I would like that.” She paused for a second. Then continued: “Thanks for being there for me. I’ll definitely pick you up from the train next weekend.” Long after they’d hung up so she could get back to the presentation and eventually bed, he sat there in his dark livingroom. With just a few words, the world had changed. --- --- title: "Finding Rivendell" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/finding-rivendell/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Rivendell is a magical place in J.R.R. Tolkien’s writing. Couldn’t possibly exist in real life. Or does it? Turns out it does and I went there. Without knowing at the time." last_modified: "2024-09-09T01:54:37+00:00" categories: [Switzerland, Tolkien] --- # Finding Rivendell I arrived at Interlaken, Switzerland, on a sunny day one summer. On the train there, I met 2 American women, who like me, were backpacking around Europe. Once in Interlaken, we explored the city together. The small city sits in a valley between 2 lakes, hemmed in by majestic mountains that stretch as far as the eye can see.  It was a great and fun afternoon. Late afternoon I walked them to the youth hostel they were staying at, while we talked about what to explore tomorrow in this fabulous area. Except I wasn’t staying at that youth hostel. The day before I’d booked space at a youth hostel in a little place called Gimmelwald, located up in a side valley. So I dashed to the train station, fully intending to be back down in Interlaken the next morning to catch up with my new friends. ## **Encountering the magic** All I remember of the train trip up the valley to Lauterbrunnen is a narrow valley with a river, the railroad and a road. Plus heavy rain. The tall cliffs on either side of the valley lost themselves into a gray mass of clouds.  I was going to the Lauterbrunnen valley because a friend insisted it was a place I absolutely mustn’t miss. It was _that _magic, she told me. It didn’t seem so magic when I stepped off the train. The rain was still pouring down. The steep cliffs bordering the valley simply disappeared up into those dark rainclouds.  Even so, I would have loved to linger and explore. But it was getting late and I needed to board a bus to get to the upper end of the valley where I would catch an aerial cable car to finally get to this Gimmelwald place. The aerial cableway went up very steeply and deposited me and a few others at a station that clung to a sloping mountainside 1600’ above the valley floor. ![The Mountain Hostel at Gimmelwald](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/The-Mountain-Hostel-1024x661.webp)The Mountain Hostel at Gimmelwald on a much sunnier day than when I arrived there. Photo: iStock.com/Andrii Shepeliev ## **The mountain hostel** I had arrived in Gimmelwald. The youth hostel turned out to be in an old building. Really old. Dating back to the 1500s. I guessed it meant that it was solidly built, to have clung to the mountainside for that long. Next morning came with rainclouds hanging in the valley. I looked out the bank of windows in the common room: straight ahead a rose a massive mountain. Actually 3 major peaks: The Eiger, the Monch and the Jungfrau. (The ogre, the monk and the virgin). The valley in-between was hidden by clouds.  It felt like being in an isolated part of the world, remote and cut off from the hubbub of everyday life. Everything had its own rhythm here. Yesterday’s plan was to spend nights up here and go all the way down to Interlaken to catch up with my new friends. But I couldn’t bring myself to leave. Nobody else was in a rush either. A lot of hostels would lock you out during the day. Because you weren’t there to sit around the hostel. You were there to sightsee. Do things. Go places. Not here. There was the guy from the Bronx, the girl from Canada, the American girl. Someone from Australia. And others. Truly an eclectic group. Everyone seemed to love to hang out and talk. Philosophy. Religion. I noticed a Bible or two sitting around in the common room. A game of cards on the balcony. Someone sitting in a corner reading. Everyone was welcome and everyone joined in. ## **Exploring a mystical place** When the rain cleared in the afternoon, I and a girl went for a walk along a path leading along a narrowing side valley. Past waterfalls. Across lush pastures. Amidst gentle, but tall fir trees. We almost made to the bottom edge of one arm of the glacier before needing to turn back. Somewhere along that walk, we overlooked the main Lauterbrunnen Vally and saw a rainbow. Down below us. The only time I’ve stood on solid ground and looked down on a rainbow. Then a shared dinner and talking on the balcony until long after the last remnants of daylight had vanished behind the high mountains. The next day was sunny and our ragtag group went hiking. An experience that almost cost us our lives, but ended well. I wrote about that experience in _[The Mountain](https://claesjonasson.com/the-mountain/)_. That day of hiking in absolutely gorgeous weather, surrounded by a mountain panorama so startling it couldn’t possibly be real, further underscored what a truly unique place this was. We looked across the Lauterbrunnen Valley at the 3 mountain peaks and the huge glacier up there. Turning around the other direction we tried to try to catch a glimpse of the not so distant Schilthorn, with the revolving restaurant Piz Gloria, of James Bond fame. So breathtaking and awesome, it couldn’t be real. Or could it? The kind of place, on top of Europe that you don’t ever want to leave. And not just because of the views. It was like there was something in the air. Something that slowed down the pace. That made you savor life. ![Our group sitting down on an alpine meadow for lunch](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/lunch-on-top-1024x635.jpg)Lunch on a high meadow, overlooking the length of the valley ## **The last homely house** This was so unlike any other place I’d ever been. You might think that this deep valley high up in the mountains, with steep cliffs rising for hundreds of feet and waterfalls throwing themselves over the edge way up there, would feel constricting. Alien. Like a place that hemmed you in. But it didn’t.  It felt strangely homely. Like a place where I could be comfortable and relax. Be myself. Connect with others who, while from all around the world, all felt the same sense of relaxed belonging here. Eventually I had to leave. It was in the evening, as shadows already overtook the valley that I rode the aerial cableway down from Gimmelwald, the bus to the train station and the train down to Interlaken where I eventually boarded an overnight train.  Maybe that’s part of the mystery and majesty of Lauterbrunnen for me: I arrived on a train in pouring rain so couldn’t see that much of the passing into the valley and I left in the evening, when mounting shadows already hid much of the scenery along the train tracks. It felt like I’d stepped out of the regular world and into a very different world that ran on its own time and priorities. Not at all unlike what Bilbo felt when he arrived at Rivendell in _The Hobbit_. Or what Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin experienced when they came there after a harrowing journey from the Shire in _The Lord of the Rings_. Where you’re in a place that you later remember as full of light and pleasantness and a feeling of security in a world full of challenges. ![The town of Lauterbrunnen with waterfall and high cliffs](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Lauterbrunnen-Valley-1-1024x684.webp)The town of Lauterbrunnen, nestled in a valley of 72 waterfalls. Photo: iStock/Pavel Khiliuta ## **Laterbrunnen, meet Rivendell** I didn’t know then that there’s good reason for the comparison of my experience in the Lauterbrunnen Valley with Rivendell in Tolkien’s epic saga. Because the Lauterbrunnen Valley _is_ Rivendell. Or at least very much the inspiration for Tolkien’s Rivendell. We can see it in his drawings and paintings of Rivendell: [Sketches of Rivendell](https://www.tolkienestate.com/painting/the-hobbit/) on the Tolkien Estate website (scroll down for Rivendell) and a [side-by-side of a painting of Rivendell with photo of the Lauterbrunnen Valley.](https://scv.bu.edu/~aarondf/Rivimages/realriv.html) It’s all there: The deep valley, the tall cliffs on both sides, the mountain peaks rising beyond and above it all. The many waterfalls cascading down into the valley.  The real thing certainly did feel like a place where elves could appear at any time (and even a hobbit or two pop in). I see why the Lauterbrunnen Valley made such an impression on the 19-year-old Tolkien when he hiked the area with a group of friends in 1911. If he sensed anything of the uniqueness of the place and how the pace changed there, apart from the outside world, then that’s plenty of inspiration for a place that would be a refuge in a changing and dangerous world. A place of healing and quiet strength. In _The Hobbit_ Tolkien describes how travelers are going across a seemingly endless land of moors with ever so distant mountains. Reminds me of driving across eastern Colorado. For the longest time seeing mountains at the horizon and seemingly forever grassland right up to them. Then you get much closer and realize there are all these communities located where the plain meets the foothills. Similarly the travelers in _The Hobbit_ come across a deep valley hidden in an endless land and after descending a challenging path, they arrive at the Last Homely House where Elrond lives. They’re among elves. In a place totally and entirely different from the surrounding landscape. There are of course plenty of other valleys in the Swiss Alps. Many of them much wider and bigger. It’s Switzerland. There are always mountains around. What makes the Lauterbrunnen Valley so unique is how long and narrow it is. The sheer mountain sides rising up, hemming it in, but also hiding it until you’re suitably close. The valley is all the more impressive since right next to it is the massive Jungfrau area with 3 spectacular mountain tops and a major glacier. From Lauterbrunnen in the valley to the top of the Jungfrau glacier is a vertical difference of 8,730 feet (or 1.65 miles). The valley sides rise up vertically or nearly vertically for about 1,600 feet. Yes, that’s very impressive. ![View from mountain down into Lauterbrunnen Valley](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/view-down-into-Lauterbrunnen-Valley-1024x683.webp)View from mountain meadow down into Lauterbrunnen Valley. Photo: iStock/Craig Zerbe ## **A place of healing and rejuvenation** Rivendell is a place of rejuvenation. Bilbo goes there after turning the ring over to Frodo. Being the keeper of the Ring for a long time has affected him and it’s at Rivendell he finds rest and peace. It’s a place of healing. Frodo and friends are worn out and injured when they come there. They are healed and strengthened. It’s a place for strategy and wisdom. The council determines how to handle the ring. It’s a stronghold. The forces of darkness were not able to overcome it. Even the witch-king of Angmar failed. It’s outside regular time. Perception of time is changed. The elves live forever. The seasons of men outside don’t affect the rhythm inside. It’s a place sustained by elven magic. Not saying that the Lauterbrunnen Valley matches that by any means. No earthly place could do that. Because Rivendell is also a vision of a heavenly, otherworldly place. But my time in the Lauterbrunnen Valley was marked by rejuvenation. It was just plain refreshing to be there, in this valley high up in the mountains, on the roof of Europe. I felt invigorated just being there. The way this motley collection of travelers from around the world, came together at the hostel to exchange ideas. Share thoughts. Play games. Go for walks. Explore. It brought us all together. It was an atmosphere I didn’t encounter in many other hostels. Just a few days later I was in a hostel in the Netherlands where people stuck hard to the groups they came and traveled with. No interaction with others. That was not the way of the hostel in the valley. Time did change in the Valley. Because nobody was going anywhere that time mattered very much. The pace was relaxed. So we feel like sitting up until long after the last hints of daylight are gone behind the mountains? To discuss philosophy in the dark? Sure, we can do that. Feel like going for a walk right now? Why not?  ![a card game at the hostel as the daylight wanes](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/card-game-at-the-hostel-1024x680.webp)A card game at the hostel as the daylight wanes ## **Savor the present** We all knew we weren’t going to be there forever, but we were there right then and that was good enough. Be in the moment. Savor the present. A place for strategy and wisdom, with counsels. Okay, so no great plans for the rest of our lives were made there. But I do recall standing on a mountain meadow there, looking at the mountains surrounding the valley and realizing some things about my life.  I had made many plans for what I wanted to do when I grew up. I went to photography school in preparation for becoming a film maker. And then I was worn out with school. I did my military service. I worked in a harbor (a job I was going back to when I finally returned home after this trip). And I didn’t really know what I wanted to do long-term.  Except that day it became clear. I wanted to tell stories. I wanted to get on with making films. Documentaries. Films that made life better — made the world a better place. Back home after this trip, I started the process to apply to schools for film and broadcasting. The die was cast. On a meadow above the Lauterbrunnen Valley. ## **Forces of nature, power of growth** The Lauterbrunnen Valley is a place where it’s easy to both see how tenacious people can be. Some of the villages there, like Gimmelwald, cling to a mountain slope high above the main valley floor. People have lived in that spot since the Middle Ages, if not before. Maybe because there’s only one way in. Not like enemies are going to trek across the mountain range or the glacier. So it was defendable. And you could sustain life there. Apparently quite well enough. It’s also easy to see the forces of nature at play. What massive forces were required to carve out this valley out of rock? I can only vaguely imagine what the glacier would have been like that dug and ground out this valley. 1,600 feet high cliff sides. That’s simply beyond human grasp.  So on the one hand absolutely massive force. Violence. Force. And on the other, the power of growth. Because wherever something can catch root, there is growth here. Trees hanging on to mountain slopes. A tuft of grass on a tiny rock outcropping. And flowers. Beauty everywhere.  ![The view from the tiny meadow we climbed to - looking out over treetops at mountains across the valley](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/tiny-meadow-1024x668.jpg)Barely visible through the trees: tiny buildings in Gimmelwald. Far below that and not visible from here is the floor of the Lauterbrunnen Valley. Beyond the snow capped mountains rise. Easy to see why Tolkien was so inspired by this area that decades later he drew on it to shape both Rivendell and the Misty Mountains. ## **Living Rivendell** I feel so blessed to have been able to spend some time in this wonderful space. And so clearly see why this valley inspired Tolkien as he envisioned the elvish Imladris, known to humans as Rivendell. We all at some time or other need a Rivendell place and experience in our lives. A gentle place to recharge, to proceed at a different pace than everyday life.  On that level, Rivendell may look very different for different people. It may be as simple and close as being able to go sit by the local river or shore for a while. Or a walk through nature. Unconnected and with time to reflect and actually think. Part of the Rivendell experience is also other people. With whom we can interact to discover more about ourselves, them and the world out there. In _The Lord of the Rings_, Rivendell is a key milestone and game changer. Gandalf formulated a plan for Frodo to simply get the One Ring out of the Shire as a first step toward dealing with the threat it posed. At Rivendell the much bigger plan for how to deal with the Ring once and for all was shaped. And the new adventure resourced. Rivendell wasn’t and isn’t about longing for what used to be by looking backward. It’s not the end. Nor is it entirely internal. It’s about finding strength to take on the biggest challenges ahead. To discover a viable path forward. Because we don’t stay at Rivendell forever. I had a short while in the Lauterbrunnen Valley. But the experience has stayed with me for a lifetime. Photos by the author (4) unless otherwise noted by the photo ![View from mountain down into Lauterbrunnen Valley](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/view-down-into-Lauterbrunnen-Valley-1024x683.webp) #### Sister of Rivendell Discover how the Lauterbrunnen Valley, as well as the entire Jungfrau Region inspired J.R.R. Tolkien’s Middle-earth. [https://stories.jungfrauregion.swiss/en/story-tolkien](https://stories.jungfrauregion.swiss/en/story-tolkien) #### In Alpine villages, Hobbits lurk Middle-earth in Switzerland: The places that inspired Tolkien long before he wrote _The Hobbit_ and _The Lord of the Rings_. [https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20140523-in-alpine-villages-hobbits-lurk](https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20140523-in-alpine-villages-hobbits-lurk) [![BBC article about Switzerland and Tolkien](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/BBC-Switzerland-Tolkien-1024x781.webp)](https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20140523-in-alpine-villages-hobbits-lurk) --- --- title: "2 book series that will expand your world" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/2-book-series-that-will-expand-your-world/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "A book series focuses on a longer story arc or common characters. It's an opportunity to go on a longer journey and discover the story and its world more deeply." last_modified: "2022-05-13T14:59:55+00:00" categories: [Books, Reading] --- # 2 book series that will expand your world I have a special fondness for book series. That can be a number of books that cover a common story arc or theme, or the same main characters feature in several books. Either way, we get to see story and relationships play out over a longer period of time. A few book series that randomly come to mind: _The Hobbit_ and _The Lord of the Rings_ The Harry Potter books _Outlander_ The Wallander books Recently I’ve read 2 other book series. One was a revisit, because I read those books many years ago. The other I came across recently and randomly, so actually started reading in the middle of the series. Because I didn’t know the books formed a chronology with the same characters. ![book covers for "The Chronicles of Narnia"](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Narnia-1024x597.jpg) ## The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis For many people the first book, _The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe_ is synonymous with _The Chronicles of Narnia_. So they stop after reading one book. But there are a total of 7 books in the series. Yes, the main characters in the books are children. Except these are not “just” children’s books. They are in a very real sense books for all ages.  > _“One day, you will be old enough to start reading fairytales again.”_ C.S. Lewis That really says it all. I just re-read the entire series. It had been long enough since the last time that I’d mostly forgotten the plot lines of the later books. Reading them again was like a wonderful reunion. Like meeting an old friend you haven’t seen for the longest time and immediately feeling both welcome and reconnected. The heroes in the books may be children, but the story arcs are definitely not childish. Part of C.S. Lewis’ story telling genius is how he weaves deep life and spiritual truths into the story. We learn about right and wrong, about empathy and compassion, about the fight between good and evil and why on our own we’re not smart enough to master the world. All without feeling like we’re reading a theological treatise or being preached at. It just unfolds as part of the story. With 7 books in the series, it’s important to understand how they are connected. There is some argument about the best order to read the books in. There’s of course the order that Lewis wrote them in. But there’s also an order based on internal chronology, especially as to when things happen in Narnia.  So it might seem like a good idea to read the books in the order in which they take place in Narnia. You know, to get the story chronologically. From start to finish. Except then we’ll miss out on some of the wonder of discovery. Because when Lewis wrote _The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe_, he intended it as a stand-alone story. Nothing more. We’re introduced to the world of Narnia with no prior knowledge. Everything is new and unfolding. Just like it is for the Pevensie children. In subsequent books, we learn more about Narnia. It’s like visiting a place and spending a little time there. Then you come back and discover more. And more. For that reason, I’m recommend reading the books in order of publication: _The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe_ _Prince Caspian_ _The Voyage of the Dawn Treader_ _The Silver Chair_ _The Horse and His Boy_ _The Magician’s Nephew_ _The Last Battle_ Through the books series, we gradually discover more of the world of Narnia. Just like Lewis himself did while writing them. Because he didn’t have a series planned out. It was going to be one book. Then another came along. And another.  Eventually there was a series and a world created, with a beginning and an end.  And somehow, through these fantasy books, we can learn to understand our own world, that we actually live in, much better. That’s part of the magic of Narnia. Part of Lewis message is that for us to truly understand some of these big concepts, we need to approach them like children. Wholehearted and unreserved. Just like Jesus said: _“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”_ (Matthew 19:14) That is in contrast to the “adult way” of tending to always look for that an “angle”.  _The Chronicles of Narnia_ is wonderful storytelling. And easy to read. So don’t stop with the first book. As enchanting as that book is, it gets better, much better, when we dive deeper in and experience all the books.  And through it all, there’s Aslan. Always Aslan.  > _“Aslan is a lion- the Lion, the great Lion.”_ _“Ooh”_ said Susan. _“I’d thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion”_ “Safe?” said Mr Beaver “Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”  _C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe_ I first discovered _The Chronicles of Narnia_ a long time ago. A really long time ago. Then I of course saw TV versions and the movies. But none of those take on the whole story. So it’s delightfully refreshing to rediscover the books. I have no idea what C.S. Lewis expected when he penned the first book. Did he know he was creating a world that would go on long after he was gone from this world? I doubt it.  I rather think he just liked story telling and being able to tell deep truths about life and faith in ways that would appeal to kids and adults alike. In that he was and remains a true master. [You can find everything Narnia here.](https://www.narnia.com/books) ![Ronald Balson book covers](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Balson-1024x597.jpg) ## The Catherine and Liam stories by Ronald H. Balson This book series doesn’t actually have a name. Author Ronald H. Balson doesn’t refer to it as a series on his website. So is it really a book series? I’d say yes, since Balson has by now written 6 books that all feature the same main characters: **Catherine Lockhart**, lawyer, and **Liam Taggart**, private investigator. Their home base is the North Side of Chicago. Although their cases take them far and wide. Each book centers around a legal case playing out in the present. One that involves Catherine and Liam working to sort out what really happened and sometimes even what’s really at stake. But this present-day storyline hinges on events that took place decades ago, in very different places. Balson’s message for us is that history affects lives today. And the past should not be forgotten or swept under the rug, but be reckoned with. This also means these books won’t appeal to everyone. If you don’t care for storylines where things are happening in a present and a past and we’re waiting to find out just what the connection really is between the 2, then maybe move on to books with their entire story set in one timeline. Also, if you don’t care much for history and believe that we pretty much just need to get over what happened and move on, then these books are not for you. But if you, like me, recognize that we live in an unfolding universe where things past and present are connected and yesterday shapes today and tomorrow, then you’ll enjoy these books. Because finding connections to and understanding the past, helps us deal with today and prepare for tomorrow. Balson has practiced and taught law in Chicago for many years, which adds to the realism of the storylines. Because some of the things going on get very intricate and hinge on fine points of law. Clearly there is much more to law practice than meets the eye. Or the average TV legal drama. In the first book, Catherine and Liam are good friends. They’ve known each other for a long time. As they work together to solve a legal case that refuses to go away, they become romantically involved. The relationship develops in future books: They get married and have a child. Deal with work, family and all the twists and turns, ups and downs of life. They do make a great team, both working together and as a couple. Later books also contain references to cases they worked on in earlier books. So clearly these are books that ought to be read in the order written. That said, I didn’t know anything about this being a series when I stumbled upon one of the books. Only as I read the book did I realize that Balson had written more books, and by the way, I was reading book 4 in a series.  So when I eventually read the first book in the series, all of a sudden a lot of things fell in place. Now I got to see how Catherine and Liam became a couple and how she started her own law firm. Plus, now I understood references and comments to the past. It does pay to start at the beginning, even with a series where each book stands on its own and is a contained story. Because there’s that all-encompassing story arc and an underlying context that keeps evolving. Fortunately, Balson makes it easy. To date there are 6 books featuring the Catherine and Liam duo and the order they were written is also the order of the story arc, so make it easy on yourself and read them in that order: _Once We Were Brothers_ _Saving Sophie_ _The Trust_ _The Girl from Berlin_ _Karolina’s Twins_ _Defending Britta Stein_ Reading these books, I find it hard to put them down. Because it seems we’re always about to turn over another piece of the puzzle. And Balson doesn’t make figuring out who are the good and bad people all that easy. It’s frequently not at all what it seems. But that’s part of real life too: Sometimes what seems good hides secrets and eventually turns out to be bad. And the other way around. [You can learn more about Ronald H. Balson and his books here.](https://www.ronaldbalson.com/books) One appeal with reading a book series is that you get more deeply immersed in the world in the books. Plus you follow the characters over a longer period of time and see how they act and live life. That part is especially interesting to me, because while it can be very engaging to connect with a story character for the span of a short story and we can learn a lot from that, there’s even more engagement and enlightenment gained from following a longer story arc, seeing how things play out for the long haul. In a world that’s overly focused on right-now gratification, we need to be reminded that life is best lived for the long haul. --- --- title: "Going nuclear is back on the table" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/nuclear-attack-is-back-on-the-table/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "For a long time, nuclear attacks were expected in any war in Europe. It was part of the fear we lived with. \n\nAnd now the nuclear attack option seems to be back on the table." last_modified: "2022-04-22T21:08:41+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Going nuclear is back on the table Apparently going nuclear, as in unleashing a nuclear attack on a battlefield, is back as an option. All as a result of Russia’s unprovoked war of aggression against Ukraine. For a few decades it certainly seemed like the prospect of nuclear war was relegated to the pages of history books. The Cold War was over. A new era of East — West relations had begun. Humanity was finally making progress. Those were the heady days around the fall of the Berlin Wall (and by extension the entire Iron Curtain), along with seismic changes in Russia as the USSR disintegrated. _Hope in the air._ A feeling of unbounded opportunity. Even the prospect of Russia taking its place along other European countries as a member of the European Union. It felt like East and West was coming together. _Finally._ Before things got that far, SALT (Strategic Arms Limitation Talks) had aimed at curtailing the threat of suddenly unleashed mutually assured destruction by intercontinental ballistic missiles.  ## **Tactical nuclear weapons** I grew up in a very different world. One where nuclear attack was part of the everyday threat picture. Where it was a real and valid option to unleash, or threaten the use of, nuclear weapons on a conventional battlefield. Tactical nuclear weapons are “small” nuclear devices.  As opposed to the Doomsday rain of intercontinental ballistic nuclear missiles launched from one superpower onto another. Which is a hail of assured mutual destruction. So terrible, the theory was, that nobody would actually dare to unleash it. Because it would be the end of human life as we knew it. Tactical nuclear weapons on the other hand are about using small(er) nuclear weapons on the battlefield. Right along with all the other explosive stuff armies can hurl at each other. Let’s say the Enemy is holding out in a deeply entrenched fortress, thereby blocking your advance. _No problem._ In the old days (think World War I) that situation would have led to stalemate trench warfare for years. But in the 1950s we had a great new option: tactical nuclear weapons. Just grab a few of the new-fangled glow-in-the-dark artillery shells, load a big gun and fire away. Or shoot off a missile or two. That pesky fortress gets blown into kingdom come with one mushroom cloud.  ## **4 minutes from destruction** I grew up in southern Sweden with the threat of nuclear attack ever present. After all, southern Sweden was a mere 4 minutes away from certain destruction by missile launched from the nearest points in the USSR or East Block countries.  Right by the phone books stacked under the phone, was a brochure, _If the War Comes_ sent to every household in Sweden by the Authorities. Just so we’d know what to do when the Enemy one day stood at the gates. Sweden was strictly neutral in those days, so any potential invading force was always referred to as the Enemy — yet we understood said Enemy to likely come from the East, across the Baltic Sea. To be sure, Sweden had a long and storied history of international entanglements with arch-enemy Denmark over the centuries. But that was ancient history by then. Swedes and Danes had concluded that hanging out together, sharing a favorite beverage, is a better approach to life than beating each other senseless. Sweden hasn’t fought a war since losing Finland to Russia in 1809.  ## **Be prepared** Yet by the early 1960s there was plenty of tension in Europe. _Height of the Cold War and all._ ![Brochure "Om kriget kommer"](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Om-kriget-kommer.jpg) So the Swedish Authorities decided every household needed a brochure with simple how-to steps for what to do in case of war.  A few content highlights:  - How to evacuate and what to bring with you  - How to report to your pre-assigned military unit so you can join the fight against the Enemy  - What to do if you end up in occupied territory  - And of course the _pièce de résistance_: How to take cover and survive a nuclear attack and what to do in the aftermath, including: Why radioactive radiation is dangerous - How to protect yourself from radioactive fallout - Food and drink (to be on the safe side, unprotected foodstuffs should be carefully scraped, peeled or rinsed before use) The brochure also included advice such as to ‘fill the bathtub with water’ (in case of fire) and ‘shelter under a sturdy table away from windows’. Of course the very best advice was to get into a fallout shelter. One of those present in just about every apartment building. If you lived in your own house, the basement was supposed to be your protection. _Tip:_ Outside, pile sandbags to cover any windows of the basement. ## **The Berlin Wall — the height of the Cold War** When the Wall went up in Berlin, I was 6.  Remember grappling with the confusing information: Who were the good guys and who were the bad guys? Was it East or West? And why was that city sitting somewhere in the bad guys’ territory?  Very confusing for a kid who’s growing up in a small town in the middle of gentle farmland. Where the only real reminders of the possibility of war (aside from the Brochure by the phone books), were some concrete tank barriers in the nearby city left over from World War II. Plus a concrete bunker or two in strategic locations on the coast. And of course the air raid shelter at the local train station, all overgrown with moss under a big old tree.  Despite all that helpful advice in the brochure, I think many of us (kids and adults) assumed that if the nuclear attack ever came, we’d all be obliterated. Which is not a pretty prospect. _Definitely hadn’t learned to love the bomb._ Confusing times. _And scary._  ## **In the military** Much later I served in the Swedish military. Strictly neutral. We were simply training to fight the Enemy. Wherever said Enemy came from. (Although we were reminded that helicopters could make it from East Germany in 5 hours.)  We didn’t talk much about nuclear attacks. We were training to fight a conventional war. That could drag out for weeks or months.  I was in a cavalry unit, meaning I drove a tank. One place we went for field exercises was right on the Baltic Sea. Occasionally we’d do live fire exercises. Shooting real, quite explosive shells out over the sea. Of course an off-limits zone had been announced in advance so no ships would get hit.  So I was sitting there in the tank, looking through the gun sights out over the endless waves toward the horizon. And there were boats out there. Far out there. Just beyond that invisible edge of the off-limits area. They looked like fishing boats. Except with antennas. Lots of antennas.  Hard to tell their nationality, because too far away to make out the flag. Although it seemed the flags were rather red. Let’s just say, it wasn’t Elvis sitting out there in those “fishing boats” listening to our radio traffic, studying how far our tanks could shoot projectiles out over the water. ## **Almost midnight on the Doomsday Clock** Of course it never actually came to nuclear attack. But the Doomsday Clock seemed perennially stuck on a minute or two before midnight. Going nuclear was considered during the Korean War. And rejected. The Berlin Wall went up and there was no large-scale confrontation. Just the threat of things spiraling out of hand. The Cuba crisis got us close to the hail of missiles, but was averted. Maybe Kruschev banging his shoe on the table in the UN was as far as things would blow up. All that time we lived with the prospect that if something, anything, goes wrong at the really wrong level, this could all blow up in minutes. We all hoped that the leaders of the superpowers would actually pick up the red phone and call each other _before_ unleashing a barrage to end life as we know it. Then the Cold War ended. I chipped off pieces of the old Berlin Wall myself. _I can go out, I can go in._ A new era. Sure, there were and are other parts of the world where nuclear attack is still somewhat of a threat, but thanks to SALT and political changes in Europe, the Doomsday Clock finally moved away from almost midnight.  ## **And then, a “special operation**“ Until Russia invaded Ukraine. Until Russia encountered resistance. Because who could have envisioned that a country would defend itself? Life, liberty and all that.  _Inconceivable._ At least to the powers that be in Kremlin. Who apparently expected to be greeted as liberators as they rolled in to depose an elected government to install their own puppets.  So faced with resistance on the battlefield, all of a sudden going nuclear is back as an option. As a threat. Not just to Ukraine.  That country by the way had plenty of nuclear missiles on its territory when the USSR broke up. They gave them all up in exchange for assurances that they wouldn’t be invaded. Signed by the Russian Federation among others. Now that very Russian Federation is executing a massive no-knock warrant by invading the country. _With blazing guns._ At the same time, Russia threatens anyone and everyone who sides with Ukraine or even thinks of bringing NATO one millimeter closer to Russian borders with assured annihilation the likes of which the world has never seen. Since the invasion of Ukraine started, both Sweden and Finland have been directly threatened in this way with “direst consequences”. Presumably to underscore that he really means it, Putin made sure to test fire a new intercontinental ballistic missile. This one hypersonic. So that annihilation comes even quicker. ## **Tick tock, or…** We’re back to a minute or even seconds before midnight on the Doomsday Clock. All because of an aging autocrat’s 2-year-old temper tantrum and fever-dream of lost greatness or cause.  We’re back to tactical nuclear attack being on the table. Actual threat? Or scare tactic? Clearly _someone_ is hoping the threat will keep the world at bay while he picks off one more country on his shopping list. Which one will be next? It’s time to push the clock away from midnight. To unequivocally make Ukraine _a country too far_. Ukrainians are standing in the gap. For themselves. For freedom. For self-determination. For all of us. As we’re sitting under the table. Hoping the next thing we see won’t be that mushroom cloud and really bright light.  Here is one final word from that Swedish Brochure: _Don’t look at the light._  Really don’t look at the light. Also, climbing into the fridge won’t actually save you. _Image credit: **[Алесь Усцінаў](https://www.pexels.com/@stefits?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels)** from **[Pexels](https://www.pexels.com/photo/exploded-house-in-borodyanka-11734710/?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels)**_ --- --- title: "Thank you for contacting us" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/got-it/" lang: "en-US" type: "page" description: "Thank you for contacting us Got your message and will get you an answer as quickly as we can. In most cases, that's the same day. (Unless your message came at an odd time when we were sleeping — time" last_modified: "2024-09-08T18:58:11+00:00" --- # Thank you for contacting us # 2 must-see classic French films Got your message and will get you an answer as quickly as we can. In most cases, that’s the same day. (Unless your message came at an odd time when we were sleeping — time zones and all that — in which case we’ll get back within 24, unless it’s on the weekend when it might be little longer.) --- --- title: "About a backpack" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/about-a-backpack/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "When I was going train hiking in the summer of 1975, I purchased a new external frame backpack. \n\nI had no idea it would still be with me on travels all these many years later." last_modified: "2026-03-26T18:19:29+00:00" categories: [Travel] --- # About a backpack A key scene in the movie _It’s a Wonderful Life_ is when George Bailey shops for a suitcase for the travel he’s planning. He tells the store clerk what he wants: A suitcase big enough for all his journeys and with room for labels from all the places he’ll visit. Because the upcoming travel adventure is going to change his life. My first real travel adventure took place in the summer of 1975 when I went train hiking across Europe. Sure, I’d traveled before, but never for this long or to so many different places. I knew my luggage had to hold everything needed for a month. Plus I’d walk a lot and needed my hands free. That narrowed it down to a backpack. I went to a nearby sporting goods store. They had a few hiking backpacks for sale. I checked them out — to the extent that you can with absolutely nothing in the pack. Of course at that point almost any backpack frame is going to feel great on your shoulders and back. In the end, I purchased a blue, external frame backpack with the obligatory shelf for the equally obligatory sleeping bag (which I also purchased). Back home, I stuffed the backpack with clothes and everything I’d need for a month. The only other thing I carried was a shoulder bag for my cameras. I was set for adventure.  Before getting on the first train, I weighed the backpack at the station. I must have succeeded in packing light, as it clocked in at about 30lbs. That initial summer of train hiking inspired other journeys. Some short, some long. The backpack always went with me. It might have lost the ‘new backpack smell’ and some of the initial shininess. But it was very much an essential companion. Sliding it off my back to fling it up on the luggage rack over the seats in a train compartment became almost automatic. As did grabbing it back down, getting it onto my shoulders and hooking the hip belt. Takes longer to explain it than to do it. ![Kicki with the backpack](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Kicki-with-backpack-1024x597.jpg)My friend Kicki models the backpack on a photo shoot in 1977 ## **The old man with the old suitcase** In 1977, I visited Vézelay, France. That’s where I met [the old man with the bicycle](https://claesjonasson.com/the-old-man-with-the-bicycle/). An old man biking around the countryside, staying at Youth Hostels and hanging out with college age kids was unusual. I also noted that both his bicycle and suitcase seemed to have been new sometime back in the 1930s. His suitcase was definitely a clone of the one George Bailey was given in _It’s A Wonderful Life_. This was 1977, so that meant it was somewhere like 40 years old.  Who uses the same luggage for 40 years? That’s like, if not crazy, then definitely odd.  After all, my backpack was only a couple years old.  So, yes, 40 years seemed totally ancient. Surely the old man could afford something a bit newer?! Now decades later and looking back, I can relate a whole lot more to the old man and his suitcase. Because I still have and use that very backpack I purchased in 1975. ## **The backpack that just worked** For one thing, my backpack worked perfectly. I could load it full of clothes and other stuff and still easily carry it. With my hands free. When we travel, we usually have luggage that we haul with us and when we get to our destination, it stays in a hotel room. Or storage locker. Or something. Because who wants to go sightseeing with a suitcase in tow? That’s why I was infinitely thankful for storage lockers at train stations: Arrive, find a locker, stuff your backpack in there and be free to go enjoy the sights. Except occasionally, it didn’t work out that way. One of my first stops in 1975 was Monaco on the French Riviera. As the train pulled into the station, I saw them. Piles of backpacks and luggage sitting on the platform next to the station building. I soon found the reason: While there were some lockers, there were not nearly enough of them for all the young backpackers wanting to see this home of the rich and famous. Also turned out most of them didn’t intend to carry their backpacks all day. Especially not up and down all the hills in Monaco—Monte Carlo. So they just left them at the train station. Presumably expecting the backpacks to still be there at the end of the day. That didn’t seem safe or prudent to me. So I kept mine with me. All day. From train station to the pier by the water to the royal castle. Even with all the hills, I discovered it didn’t really slow me down. Clearly I’d made a good choice when picking out that backpack. And in packing light. The backpack was truly perfect on trains and buses and for those (occasional) hikes on foot. ## **Those not so friendly skies** Airlines turned out to be another story though. After a few flights, I figured out that backpacks with all their straps and airport luggage conveyor belts are not a match made in heaven. Fortunately, there was an easy fix: I designed a cover for the straps that could be snapped on and off as needed. Eventually the airlines got unfriendlier still, but there was a solution then too, as you’ll see a bit later in our story. So I purchased a backpack for one summer of train hiking and it became a great companion on every journey I went on for years. ## **Travels with a family and backpack 2.0** Some years went by and I was now traveling with my wife and daughter. More people means more stuff to bring along. I concluded that we really needed more space than the old backpack provided. Plus, I no longer needed to carry a sleeping bag everywhere. Something about not sleeping on train platforms. We did the traditional suitcase thing. Like millions of other travelers. Hands full of suitcases. Tried piling them on little folding luggage carts, only to watch said carts self-destruct in less than a mile on any European cobblestone street encountered. Clearly not the way to make travel easy. The original reason I got a backpack was to have hands free while carrying luggage. Turns out that’s even more important when traveling as a family. So I decided it was time for backpack version 2.0. Not as in going out and purchasing a new backpack though. Instead I removed the fabric portion from the metal frame (that had the shoulder straps and waist belt). Then I created a new pattern for a new, larger packsack with more compartments and started sewing. I used sturdy cordura fabric, guaranteed to stand up to virtually anything, while keeping the contents dry and protected. While at it, I also made a duffel bag sized to let me slip the entire backpack into it. Because by now, airlines had made it really clear they didn’t like travelers with backpacks by making you sign a damage waiver prior to checking that backpack. That way, when they lost or destroyed the backpack, they were in no shape or form responsible.  Of course, if the backpack is inside a duffel bag, then in the eyes of the airline, I’m checking a big, soft bag and not a backpack. No waiver. They’re responsible!  Once at the destination, it took seconds to pull out the backpack and roll up the duffel bag. It fit conveniently into one of the backpack’s pockets. This new/old backpack version 2.0 went with me on many trips across the Atlantic and around Europe and the US. ![Claes with backpack in front yard](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Backpack-in-Chicago-1024x597.jpg)Me with backpack and camera bag on the great rail adventure of 2015 ## **Back to the original** Fast forward to 2015. I was going to take a train trip half-way across the US. [Read about that adventure here.](https://claesjonasson.com/category/rail-journeys/) Quickly decided that I didn’t want to mess with a suitcase, for all the same reasons I didn’t take a suitcase when traveling around Europe in the ’70s: They’re annoying, hard to haul around and tie up your hands. So it was backpack time again. But I didn’t want or need one as big as my backpack 2.0 had become. So looked at new ones. And made an interesting discovery: The local sporting goods stores carry tons of backpacks. Unfortunately all day packs. Not a single big frame backpack anywhere. Apparently folks looking for technical backpacks for serious hiking don’t shop in Little Rock. I found many large backpacks online, but seriously, a good backpack needs to truly fit your body to not feel like you’re carrying a ton of bricks after just a few miles. So buying online wasn’t a real option. That’s when I remembered that I still had the original fabric packsack for my old backpack. I disconnected the newer, larger packsack from the frame and reattached the old pack. Now the backpack was a bit smaller (more maneuverable while still with plenty of space for my trip needs). And really didn’t look bad at all. A few dings here and there, some wear and tear, mostly from the (un)friendly skies. I used that backpack on my train trip from Little Rock to Washington, DC, New York and Chicago. And later on a train journey to Los Angeles and Chicago. ## **Like the Energizer bunny, it’s still going and going…** As I write this, I’ve recently returned from another train journey to Chicago and Washington, DC. The old backpack went with me again. Still performed excellently. In fact, I found out it’s still easy to carry the whole thing with me while sightseeing. I had a layover of a few hours at Union Station in Chicago. Unfortunately the line to store luggage was interminably long. So I just carried the backpack with me as I explored the Loop and Millennium Park with the Bean. Never did I in my wildest dreams back in 1975 think that I could/would be still using that same backpack in 2021. 46 years later! After all, who does that?! Except now I understand the old man with the bicycle and his old suitcase much better. Because that’s not just a piece of luggage anymore. It’s a travel companion. Just looking at it, I’m reminded of all the adventures it’s been along on. The times it’s been flung up on a luggage rack in a train, carried on hikes through city and countryside, rocked down airport luggage carousels. Or just sat there in a youth hostel or hotel room. If I had collected a patch or sticker from every place that backpack has been, it would be all covered. But I don’t really need the names of those places written out. They mentally pop up when I look at the backpack, loaded and ready to go on yet another trip. It’s indeed like traveling with an old friend. Easy enough to carry all day when needed. Large enough to hold all the adventures. ![Me and the backpack exploring the Bean in Chicago](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Backpack-at-the-Bean-1024x597.jpg)Yours truly exploring Millennium Park and the Bean in Chicago, with the backpack, in 2021 ![3 backpackers hiking in distant shot](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/backpackers-1024x689.jpg) ## Of backpacks back then and now While writing today’s blog post, I discovered this article, _[In Awe of the External Frame Backpack User](https://www.adventure-journal.com/2020/03/external-frame-backpacks/)_. It’s a reflection on old and new technology in backpacks. Enjoy reading. ## Related posts [![Drawing of the old man talking with young people, bicycle in foreground](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/old-man-bike2-1024x598.jpg)](https://claesjonasson.com/the-old-man-with-the-bicycle/) ### [The old man with the bicycle](https://claesjonasson.com/the-old-man-with-the-bicycle/) [![US map with route of my Amtrak adventure marked](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Map_of_trip-1024x635.png)](https://claesjonasson.com/reflections-on-a-train-journey/) ### [Reflections on a train journey](https://claesjonasson.com/reflections-on-a-train-journey/) [![Little Rock Union Station Amtrak Depot at night with passengers waiting](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Little_Rock_Union_Station-1024x527.jpg)](https://claesjonasson.com/one-step-leads-to-another/) ### [One step leads to another and pretty soon it’s a road trip](https://claesjonasson.com/one-step-leads-to-another/) --- --- title: "The old man with the bicycle" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/the-old-man-with-the-bicycle/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Youth hostel. Old man choosing to stay there among all those 'kids'. I’m glad he did, because I learned great travel lessons that have served me well in the decades since." last_modified: "2021-09-29T03:13:47+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # The old man with the bicycle It was August 1977 when I met the old man with the bicycle. I arrived in the old city of Vézelay, France, on a Saturday morning. By bus from the nearest train station 7 miles away. My plan was to spend that day and part of the next there, before taking the bus back to the train station.  Except I quickly learned that buses didn’t run on Sundays. I’d have to stay a day longer than planned. Which is not a huge problem when you’re backpacking and have no set schedule. The Youth Hostel was about half a mile down the road from the city and mostly deserted when I got there in late morning.  Come evening, it was full of young travelers from around the world. Right among them was the old man with the bicycle.  ## **Which one does not belong?** I first noticed the bicycle. It was old. Probably a relic from before the war. Sturdy. And then there was the suitcase. One of the old ones, like the one George Bailey is given in _It’s a Wonderful Life_. The old man later told me he got it in ’38 and it had been with him on all his biking adventures around the French countryside over the years. Then there was the man himself. I found out he was 72. Looked like he’d worked outside much of his life. Thin, weathered. But with eyes and a face full of life and energy. He had no trouble keeping up with the conversations at the Youth Hostel. Even if everyone else was a 20something. I discovered that he started biking around the countryside on vacations in the late 1930s. And clearly still enjoyed that kind of vacation. Because it worked for him. He certainly didn’t sit in a corner by himself, nursing a glass of wine, complaining about the rowdy young ’uns of today.  No, he was right there, in the midst of a group of international travelers. The conversation was energetic and animated. Clearly everyone was having a good time. As he put it: “Rather together with plenty of people in a youth hostel, than alone in a hotel.” Amazing what a 70+ French man can have in common with a 20something Israeli female backpacker. Or some German boys hiking their way across France. Not to mention Americans and Canadians. Or a random Swede. ## **Vacation, done differently** The old man was on vacation. Presumably vacation from being retired at home. To him that meant, load himself and the old suitcase on the trusty ancient bicycle and head out. The Bourgogne countryside is indeed marvelously beautiful, but it’s also hilly. Not easy biking territory. The other bikes at the hostel were modern ones, with gears to make going up hills at least a bit easier. I wondered if the old man actually biked up all the hills or if he got off and walked the bike up.  Clearly he wasn’t on a “5 days to every important site in Bourgogne” itinerary. He had no set plan. Just pointed his bike in a direction and started off. Found a place to stay when the day neared its end and that was it. A rambling, serendipitous way of traveling. He explained that the old suitcase contained all he’d need, including a supply of food. Just in case.  Really not that different from my own way of traveling back then: I had my backpack and a rail pass. Plus a list of places I might go. All over Europe. Where I actually went all depended on how I felt at the moment. I might have plans a few days ahead, but at the start of the month of traveling, I had no idea where I’d find myself at the end of it. I figured that this countryside wasn’t all that new to the old man. His actual home was in the region. He’d been around. Instead, a huge part of the experience for him was meeting people from around the world. ## What I learned from the old man In the process of the conversations, I gained some important travel lessons from the old man: ### **Get out of your comfort zone** The old man could definitely have stayed in hotels along the way. The ones with stars to the name and pampered service. It would also keep him away from folks who stay up half the night and carry on animated conversations. That’s how many folks choose to travel when age advances. Because they figure they’ve earned that extra luxury. And they have the money for it, so why not? Except they’re then likely to only see things they are used to and comfortable with. The old man was still looking for new experiences. New discoveries. Travel lesson #1. ### **Go where there are interesting people you can meet** Hint: They’re not really in the penthouse suite of a 5-star hotel. But you can find them in a little restaurant only the locals know about. Or in a hostel.  ### What’s the rush? Choose to go slower In the US, we talk about flyover country. Which refers to everything between the East and West Coasts. Like there is nothing there? I’ve been blessed with traveling coast to coast across the US twice by train. Certainly got to see much of that flyover country. So now I understand better what’s there and what it looks like. When we just hurry on to the next goal, we do miss so much along the way. Things, people and places that are truly awesome. But you have to be there to discover them. And that takes time. My best travel memories are not of hurrying through some list of must-see things, but of times spent with people. Maybe meandering through a city together. Or relaxing on a back porch as the day ends. ### **Don’t only hang around people just like you** I was in Europe on a video project with Roger, a video producer from Iowa State University. For part of the trip, we had the Iowa Secretary of Agriculture, his wife and his trusted aide with us. We visited Brussels and met with leaders in the European Community hierarchy. Also went to the huge Port of Rotterdam.  The Secretary and his entourage had booked the hotels with the stars. Roger and I found more budget accommodations. They ate in the hotel restaurants. Whatever was provided by that cuisine. I’m sure the steaks were fine and pretty much just like the steaks back home. Roger and I discovered the little local hole-in-the-wall places. In one place, we asked the person at the front desk for a recommendation for dining. She began to rattle off the usual suggestions. To which we said: “But where do _you _go out to eat?” That led us on a very winding drive into the old part of the city and a restaurant in an old windmill. Serving all local fare. Like mussels in a beer sauce. We were the only out-of-towners in the place and it was great. ### **Welcome serendipity** I know, it’s comforting to have everything planned. And efficient. If this is Tuesday, this must be Belgium. I do understand the desire to fit in everything, because you don’t know when or if you’re going to be back there again. And you want to see and do it all. But it’s when we leave some margin in the plans that we can actually embrace random opportunities that present themselves.  I still regret that I didn’t say “Yes” right away when I was asked to go waterskiing.  I was 15, visiting a friend at her family’s summer cottage on an island. Then somebody decided waterskiing was called for. Except, I didn’t have my swimsuit with me. (That could have been solved.) Plus I was afraid I wouldn’t stay standing up on the skis when the boat took off. (My friend did a spectacular faceplant into the water on her first run of the day — and she’d water-skied before). Mostly I kept thinking: Maybe next time. I’ll be better prepared next time. Except there was no next time. The moment was gone. I’ve since downhill skied a bunch and loved it. But still have never waterskied. Some of the best things in life present themselves totally unplanned and unexpected.  ## **Travel lessons that colored my travels and outlook on life** As I went to bed after a night of talking with the old man and other travelers, I decided he was on to something. I wanted to be like him. Who traveled in ways that let him experience the places he visited, and the road in-between. Who interacted with the people he met on the road. Shared with them and learned from them. The old man at Vézelay (and other encounters while traveling) have impressed on me the value, the importance of really getting to know the places and people you visit. To go beyond what average day-tripping tourists see.  That’s led me to experiences like laying pavers in a driveway in Berlin, Germany. Or helping paint several houses where I’ve stayed for a time. Best of all: being invited and treated just like one of the family. I’ve seen first hand the total change a tourist magnet like medieval Rothenburg od Tauber goes through once the tourist buses leave and the day-trippers have moved on. Suddenly it’s evening, the day winds down and those left are people who actually live there and those who are staying in the city. It becomes a much quieter and gentler place. Still so much to see and experience. In fact, with the tourists gone, you can finally really feel the history in the place. It’s about keeping an investigative mind, open to new experiences and encounters at any age. To realize that I can learn from those around me, younger and older. And that when we all mix together, we’re so much richer for it. --- --- title: "All that snow…" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/all-that-snow/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Winter x 3. I’ve lived through winters in Sweden and Iowa. With cold and lots of snow. But it’s in Arkansas we've just emerged from 10 days of being stuck in snow. Even so, I love winter. And snow." last_modified: "2024-09-09T21:31:44+00:00" categories: [Seasons, Winter] --- # All that snow… As I write this, the last snow is melting here in Little Rock. Yet a few days ago, this was a winter wonderland. My feelings about snow and winter may be different from many other people. I actually like the winter season and I like snow. Even when that includes snow removal. ![Snow covered fields with farms on the horizon on a sunny winter day in Sweden](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/snow-field.jpg)Snow covered fields and on the right the country road that got blocked by snowdrifts ## **Winter in Southern Sweden** I grew up in southern Sweden. Which is a northern climate. Although somebody from central or northern Sweden wouldn’t think so. Their idea of winter is 6’ of snow and long stretches of 40 below. Or something like that. Southern Sweden has a coastal climate. In the winter, the temperature mostly stays around freezing. With occasional blizzards. Unique is that snow there often does not fall vertically as nice, big, fluffy flakes. Rather it comes nearly horizontally, driven by wind. That results in snowdrifts wherever there is a building, hedge, fence, or cut in the land.  One year a nearby country road was blocked by snowdrifts packed so hard the snowplows had trouble making headway. Farmers who needed to get through just got creative: They detoured onto the farm field along the road. Because the snow there wasn’t very deep at all. And I guess they didn’t mind the very bumpy ride, since they got through. As a kid, I loved the drifts, because you could dig tunnels into them. Instant snow forts. ![](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/picture-perfect-snow-1.jpg)Iowa snow and plowed and sanded streets. You can make it up the hill. ## **Winter in the Midwest** Then I moved to Iowa. And experienced inland winters. My first winter there, a huge blizzard hit Chicago and everything west. I barely got my car unburied before the city snowplow came through and made me have to start all over again.  In those northern climates there’s such a thing as snow routes: Streets where parking is normally permitted, except when snow is expected. Because the city wants the snowplows to get through and really get the snow out of the street. The result is that you can easily drive down the street shortly after the snow stops falling. The huge difference for me was that there was more sunlight in the winter. Because Iowa is farther south than Sweden, the days are longer. That made me not mind a month of below freezing weather. It was enjoyable to walk home in the cold. ## **A season different from the rest of the year** That’s winter as I’m used to it: Extremes of weather. Snow at least part of the time. All very beautiful in sparkling sunlight. It’s a radically different season from the rest of the year.  To be sure, there’s snow to shovel so sidewalks and driveways are cleared off and people can get in and out. You do the shoveling diligently, because if the snow gets packed, it will turn into ice and it may still be there when March rolls around. You may stay home for a day or two as the blizzard is roaring. But then everyone quickly gets out and about again. Life doesn’t stop for the months of winter. You go to work and school, you connect with friends. Enjoy doing things outside and also enjoy the warmth inside. ![snow covered neighborhood in Arkansas](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/winter-snow-in-Arkansas.jpg)When the snow falls, the neighborhood becomes really quiet. Pretty much nobody going anywhere, even after it stops snowing. ## **Winter in Arkansas** Then I moved to Arkansas. Where winter is totally different. Where snow is a rarity. The first winter I was here, I was at work one day when snow was coming. The flakes started falling around noon and immediately everyone in the office asked the boss to let them go home early. _Like right away._ Across the city, everyone seemed to have the same thought and the nearby 4 lane street quickly turned into a stop-and-go mess. Already some cars had trouble getting up even a very modest incline on that street. Really didn’t want to be stuck in that mess, so stayed at the office for a couple hours. When I finally drove home, the streets were covered in several inches of snow. Because no snowplows. But since no one was about, I could drive at a speed that let me actually make it up the numerous hills on the way. Snow doesn’t happen much in Little Rock. Maybe once or twice a year. And it doesn’t last. Usually gone in a matter of days. I since learned that the hill that leads up to where I live becomes impassable whenever we have snow. Or ice. We often get freezing rain before the snow. In which case the world is covered in ice and then snow on top.  A freezing rain that coats everything in a sheet of ice is enough to practically shut the city down. Everyone stays home and waits for it to melt. Which will happen. Not come next March, but in a matter of a few days. This year we had a recordbreaking winter in Arkansas, and have just dug/melted out from 10 days of being stuck at home. Because of snow and a little ice. Today it’s 73°.  ## **Managing that snow and winter stuff** Since I learned to drive in the land of Vikings (Sweden, not Minnesota), I know how to drive in snow. A snowy road itself doesn’t really bother me. Especially not with front-wheel drive. Once plowed and sanded, winter roads are okay. As long as you watch for sudden ice patches. I’ve driven through major blizzards as well, where you could barely see the road.  It’s ice that’s scary. Because I’ve been there when battle tanks on an icy winter road just started sliding sideways, into the ditch. Nothing you can do when 40 tons of steel starts sliding.  A friend, who lived in Iowa for a number of years before moving to Arkansas, likened the recent snowstorm to winter up there when talking with our local friends: “In Iowa, we had weather like this all the time.” Except not quite. Yes, 6 or 8” of snow might get dumped overnight. But, and that’s the key difference, in the morning, plows would be out to clear streets. It might be a bit late, but we’d get to work.  I don’t recall ever missing school or work because of snow. In 10 years of working at Iowa State University, they closed campus exactly 1 day because of snow. As it happened, I had a tight video editing deadline. So ended up walking in through snow drifts. That’s the huge difference between northern and southern locations: How blizzards and cold are dealt with. ## **It’ll melt away** Here in Little Rock, typically most everything shuts down for the duration as soon as freezing rain starts or snow is coming. Then people stay home until it melts. Because there’s very limited snow removal capacity.  Certainly nothing like the formations of snowplows you might see on Chicago freeways where 4 or 6 plows in formation clear all the lanes in one pass. I get that it’s a cost issue. But also a bit of a cultural issue. Here the mindset is to hunker down for a few days until it melts. Because it will melt. Shortly. And then we can go back to life as it was.  And those times of ice and snow are seen as rare events that don’t happen normally. So there’s no urgency to prepare for clearing streets or parking lots when waiting for a day or three will have nature take care of it on its own.  Even after 20+ years in Arkansas, this approach to dealing with winter weather feels foreign to me. ![sunshine, snow on ground, houses and trees](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/winter-wonder-land.jpg)The days after: Still freezing, but spots of bare ground are appearing. Still a winter wonderland. ## **Living with glimpses of winter wonderland** But I still miss that when we do get snow, it’s all wintry and beautiful for only a day or two and then it melts away. And I do find the prospect of an ice storm here unnerving in ways that it never was when I lived in the north. That’s because ice and snow here so often are followed by electrical power going out. For days even. Until the utility people can catch up and get everything repaired. So I’ve come to an understanding with myself: I’ll enjoy the snow when we get it. Even if it’s just a little. Because there’s just nothing like being able to go out on a cold day, walking through fresh snow, taking in what appears to be an entirely new world. Yes, it’s the same neighborhood, but it looks so different when covered in snow. Even a bare tree becomes a work of art when those branches are highlighted by a layer of snow. Then when the snow starts melting, even as the temperature is below freezing, but the sun is shining, there’s this feeling of the world changing, right in front of your eyes. With every water drop falling. And snow can be lots of fun. Just ask any kid with a (makeshift) sled and a hill.  I know plenty of people born in northern climates who can’t wait to move south, so they don’t have to shovel snow ever again. I guess they don’t miss the poetry of winter. Or how having gone through a long and cold winter, really, really makes you appreciate the warm winds of spring. To me that’s the paradox inherent in winter: The world is frozen and everything seems dead. And yet, there’s life waiting to burst out. Just not quite yet. ![daffodil bud sticking out of snow pile](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/daffodil-in-winter.jpg)The snow is covering everything right now, but the daffodils still hold the promise of spring --- --- title: "Between 2 countries, finding a place to belong" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/between-2-countries-finding-a-place-to-belong/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "What could a story about a woman moving from Ireland to Brooklyn in the 1950s have in common with me moving from Sweden to Iowa in the 1970s? Actually quite a bit more than I thought just from watching the movie trailer." last_modified: "2024-09-09T21:35:44+00:00" categories: [Life purpose, Travel] --- # Between 2 countries, finding a place to belong When the movie _Brooklyn_ with Saoirse Ronan came out a few years ago, I was immediately curious. Because it was about moving from one country to another. In this case, a young woman leaving her native Ireland for Brooklyn, in the early 1950s. Could that story have anything in common with my experiences, [moving from Sweden to Iowa](https://claesjonasson.com/i-moved-to-a-new-country/) in the 1970s? Once I saw the movie, I knew I needed to read the book it is based on: _[Brooklyn](https://www.amazon.com/Brooklyn-Colm-Toibin/dp/1501106473/ref=sr_1_2)_ by Colm Tóibín . It was a pleasure to discover that in this case the movie closely followed the book. This is not an action story. It is an adventure, but as much about the internal journey as the act of changing places. ## **Eilis** At the center is a young woman, Eilis, who moves across the Atlantic and settles. The story could have ended there and been compelling enough. But it goes deeper to also explore what happens when she returns to Ireland and has to reconcile 2 different worlds: Old country and new country.  Because in migrating, things are left behind. New experiences formed. It can feel like you are split into 2 persons: One for each country and since there’s an ocean in-between, they seem destined never to meet.  As the story begins, Eilis has just landed a part-time job in a store in Enniscorthy, Ireland. Not much of a future for a 20-ish woman. She lives with her mom and sister Rose (who has a full-time job in accounting). They have 3 brothers who’ve left for work in England and who will probably never come back to Ireland to live. Eilis likely would not have up and left for the US on her own. Yet her sister Rose encourages her and connects her with Father Flood who makes the necessary arrangements for work and a place to live in the US. ## **Me** In ways that sounds familiar. I grew up in a small town in Sweden and knew that I would have to leave there to complete my education and build a career in media production. I considered film schools in Stockholm, Sweden, and in Munich, Germany, along with US universities. In the end, the US option seemed to be the best fit for what I wanted to do.  Given that neither of my parents studied at university, it might have remained a dream. Except that I had my own “Rose” in the form of a couple American friends I’d met while train hiking around Europe. They encouraged me and provided practical help that got things going. Moving to another country, even for a season, is a big deal and not something we embark on for a lark. Without help from others, Eilis would have remained in Ireland, getting by on a part-time job and I might have settled into the blue-collar day job I had, while trying to do some photography/film on the side. ## **With a little help from friends** Dreams need generous help to gain wings and become reality. Eilis made it to Brooklyn and I made it to Iowa City. The descriptions of Eilis’ first year in Brooklyn resonated with me. Because that first year in any new place is full of figuring out things. More so in a new culture. Some things are quite similar, but many are not.  Eilis would be forgiven for thinking that Brooklyn really isn’t that different from Enniscorthy. After all, they speak English in both places and the US and Europe are part of that nebulous “Western Culture”. Plus, she can walk down a street in Brooklyn with nobody able to see on her that she isn’t “native”. It was the same for me. All about the little differences that take time to figure out. Eilis’ support is from people of Irish origin who live in Brooklyn — home to a very sizable Irish population. So she could stay with “her own kind” and no doubt many immigrants from Ireland did just that. Arriving in Iowa City, I found that there were a handful of students from Sweden among the around 20,000 students at the university. I could have clung to that little group. Instead I consciously chose to make friends with Americans. Because I figured I was in this new country for a season and wanted to get to know it and people there as well as I could. Even with a lot of other Irish people around, Eilis connects with Americans from the melting pot. There is night school to learn accounting. And Tony, an Italian guy who shows up at the parish hall dances. For whatever reason, Tony chooses to go outside his own ethnic background and mingle with the Irish. Tony and Eilis start spending time together. Gradually we see Eilis adjusting, breaking out of her shell from back home and finding her own place in this new world.  ## **2 disparate worlds — or are they?** She also doesn’t tell her mom and sister back home everything. For one thing, there are things that are hard to put in letters. And how do you describe a place that superficially seems quite similar to back home, but really is a very different world? I remember facing those same dilemmas. My parents had never traveled outside Sweden (except to neighboring Denmark) and here I was half-way around the world. So some things could be related and some maybe not so much. I don’t think I even realized how seemingly disparate those 2 worlds were until I went back to Sweden for summer after my first year of college. I had a job to come back to and everyone I knew was excited to see me. They’d ask a few things about life in the US and then it would quickly be on to what was going on in their lives. In Sweden. In effect it was like I’d not been gone at all. I was expected to fit right back in and be no different than before “going over there”. For Eilis that same realization comes when she goes back to Ireland after her sister dies. There’s mourning going on. Friends to catch up with. She even gets a job since the place where her sister worked really needs someone to fill in at least for a short time. But they quickly intimate that they want her to stay more permanently. And there’s mom who’s now all alone. She’s of course glad Eilis is back home. Where she belongs. ## **Back to the old country to stay?** When Eilis left for the US, it was because there was really no path forward for her in Ireland. Now, all of a sudden, there appears to be one. She has vocational skills now. There’s even the promise of a relationship now. A young man with a future. She could marry him, live in town and raise a family. To friends and family in Enniscorthy it’s self-evident what she’ll choose: Stay. Again be one of them. To Eilis, that choice is not so self-evident. For one thing, she got married to Tony right before leaving for Ireland. But that was before coming back to her home country and fitting right back in. In fact fitting in even better — all of a sudden having the opportunities she didn’t have there before leaving for the US.  Many would probably forgive her if she said “I’m back home and I’ll send for my things. Tony was a dream, but not real. This is real.” You could say, opting for Ireland would be safer. That’s where her whole life has been. She could make that work. Could be in love with the guy trying to sweep her off her feet. And a job is a job. In the US she was just getting into accounting and off the department store floor. Not like there’s a corner office waiting for her. True, Tony had laid out his vision for their future together. But that would be a gamble too. And mean diving head-first into another culture. Because Italians. I faced that reckoning too. While in college in the US, I went back to Sweden every summer for a few months. I had a job to go back to, friends, family.  The first summer I was back, my dad passed away suddenly. When I called friends in Iowa with that news, some assumed I wouldn’t be back for the fall semester. My mom and I had long conversations. All focused on helping her adjust to life without her husband and companion of so many years. But at no point was there any discussion that I might not go back to the US to continue my education. Mom was rather adamant on that point. ## **Uniting 2 worlds – the journey home** Even after that, the 2 worlds were rather separate for me. Because they didn’t directly interact or overlap. The disparate worlds finally came together the summer that Diane from Iowa (we’d been dating for a while) came over to Sweden to experience the country and meet my family. Swedish me was no longer totally separate from the US me. In _Brooklyn_, the separate worlds collide when a woman in Enniscorthy learns that Eilis, who fit right back into home country after her American adventure, is actually married back in Brooklyn. Her world comes crashing in and she responds by quickly wrapping up her stay to head back to the US. It’s a powerful visualization of how the old place, where she used to belong, really isn’t her anymore. She will always be ‘from’ there, but she is not ‘of’ there anymore. Home, for good or bad, with all its uncertainties, lies across the water, in Brooklyn. Different readers will have different takes on if returning to Brooklyn was the wise choice. The book leaves her as she’s on the train to the ship. The movie closes the loop by showing her coming back to Tony in Brooklyn.  Which in turn reminds us that at some point she and Tony will have to sort out the role of her Irish heritage in the their new family. But that’s for another day. Tóibín didn’t write a sequel to _Brooklyn_. There’s just a brief mention of Eilis and Tony still being in Brooklyn in _Nora Webster_, a novel by Tóibín set in and around Enniscorthy in the 1960s. So we don’t know how life played out for Eilis and Tony.  Diane and I lived in Sweden for a few years after we were married and then ended up in the US for the long haul. Both cultures still a part of our lives. That small town in Sweden where I grew up will always hold a special place for me, but even the last time I was there (which is now years ago), it didn’t quite feel like home anymore. Because it’s changed, just like I’ve changed. ## **The journey of emigration/immigration** _Brooklyn_ is definitely recommended watching/reading. Even if you’ve never moved to or lived in another country. You might echo my friend from college who one day observed: “You know, moving to another country, like you did — I could never do that.” There was no malice. No envy. Just an honest observation of who she was.  Years later, she and her husband adopted a child from another country. They’re making the journey while staying in their local community. _Brooklyn_ is a very tender and low key telling of one immigrant story. It’s fictional, but it in so many ways reflects immigration experiences shared by many people. Me included. In the end it’s not just about the physical journey and making those adjustments, but also about an inner journey and each of us finding out who we really are and where we belong on this earth. _For more about immigration and the adjustments that go with it, check out this post: [We’re all immigrants](https://claesjonasson.com/were-all-immigrants/)._ --- --- title: "Shaping the story of your next year" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/shaping-the-story-of-your-next-year/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "New Year. Resolutions made and then broken. We set goals and hope. Here’s a roadmap to shape your story in the next 12 months. With the end solidly in mind." last_modified: "2024-09-09T02:40:40+00:00" categories: [Life purpose, Planning] --- # Shaping the story of your next year Any New Year is a time for new beginnings. We make New Year’s Resolutions. Because in that moment when the old year is over and the new year begins, it truly feels like everything is possible.  Then all too soon, it’s back to work and routine. Life gets busy. Those resolutions are forgotten or at least pushed aside, with the (very honest) intention to get back to them later. I’ve done the goal-setting thing — where you figure out 7-10 goals for the coming year and then go to town accomplishing them. Great plan. Great idea. Except, life just doesn’t seem to want to confine itself to those 7-10 goals. And whoops, things are sidetracked. This year I’m taking a different approach, using a vision based approach, based on Marisa Murgatroyd’s _12-month activate momentum plan_.  ## **The present** It starts with a description of how things are now. Could be my life, health, faith, relationships, or business. Or any combination thereof. A time to be honest with myself. About what works and what doesn’t. What’s been good this year and what hasn’t.  Because the goal is to build on what works, while changing or fixing anything broken. It’s a time to get specific. The more detailed I am in describing how things are now, the better I will understand what needs to change for things to become as I want/need them to be. ## **A vision of 12 months from now** The next step is to describe, in equal detail, my vision of how things should be 12 months from now.  What do I want to be different? The same? New?  I’ll create that narrative from the perspective of 12 months from now, when it’s all come true. That’s not just wishful thinking, but rather a deeper thought process. If I simply say, “I want to write a book by next Christmas” that’s totally aspirational and doesn’t include anything about what must happen on the way for that to be true. Nor do I have to even think about all the steps on the way. However, if I say “It’s Christmas 2021: My first book has just been published and is now available on Amazon and from my website” several things happen. First off, even that one sentence got into specifics. That in turn leads to thinking of the gap between where I am now, in early 2021, and Christmas 2021. **A gap that has to be bridged for the vision to come true.** Often it’s not one specific thing, but a range of accomplishment we’re looking for.  For instance, for my business, I am pursuing growth this year. On the low end, I might target a 10% growth. Based on the past year, even with all going on, that’s very realistic. Envisioning 25% growth would be more of a stretch, but there are scenarios where that can happen. If everything aligns, it could even be a year of 50% growth. That last vision will require a lot of things to work just right, but there are paths to get there. ## **A vision of future reality** Again, just looking ahead, it’s easy to say “I want the business to grow by 50% this year”. No specifics, so no real commitment and no cost. It’s just going to happen. _Automagically._ Or with a generous helping of pixie dust. If however, the vision is set in a future present, then I’d say something like “this year the business grew by 50% and that means I’m now able to invest in new product development, while also adding to the team in key areas, so that we’re better positioned for the future than ever before.” It’s not just about reaching a goal or vision over the next 12 months, but also about what doing so will make possible. Unlocking those possibilities is what will truly energize us to do the things needed to get there. ## **Mind the gap** With these 2 descriptions — the current state and the vision of 12 months from now — in place, it’s time to start filling in the blanks. Because there’s a gap between today and 12 months from now. And that gap has to be bridged. Kind of like if I want to go to Chicago from Little Rock. There are many ways to get from here to there.  I can fly, in which case I may get to touch down in Dallas, Houston, Memphis or Atlanta on the way. Because you know, airlines just love hauling us around. I can drive. In which case there are several roads to take. Interstates, local roads. More or less scenic. And I may or may not see the arch in St Louis on the way. Or I can take the train. From Little Rock to Chicago.  Probably not going to walk or ride my bicycle. Because, you know, it’s really far. ## **Filling in the gap towards a win** The point is, there are multiple ways to get from here to there. And the options are not at all created equal. Some might seem to get there, but won’t actually. Same thing with that vision of 12 months from now: _A book published by Christmas. On Amazon and my own website. _But once I know in some detail where I want to end up, I can start to fill in the actions I need to take towards that happening.  If I’ve already started writing, the next step might be to finish a first draft. And learn about the process from draft to finished book. So I don’t spend until September on that first draft, only to then find out about the 7 rounds of editing and the production process to have a book ready to self-publish. Plus allow time for promotion, so people will actually know about the book and be eager to buy it when released. Yeah, having a first draft finished in September won’t quite do. Must be earlier. So now it’s about a process of figuring out steps to take today and tomorrow. That will help me get from now to the 12 month vision. Any process has steps. Sometimes many. That’s actually great, because small steps are manageable. We can do those. Giant steps, like the whole thing all at once, not so much. ## **The 5,000, 10,000 and 30,000 foot view** Often we get stuck while figuring out all the steps to take. Because so many. That’s when it’s helpful to look at the overall goal from different vantage points. Back to the book example. If the goal is a published book by next Christmas, I don’t need to know every little step in that process today. But I do need to know how long the big phases of that process can be allowed to take.  On the book project, several phases come to mind: Writing – editing – design – production – marketing – launch. Calendar in hand and with reasonable knowledge of how much time to allow for each phase, I can then figure out where I need to be each month to still make the ultimate goal.  Then since I’m in the writing phase, I only need to focus on it for now. The whole project became a lot more manageable. Sometimes even figuring out the steps in one part of a goal is overwhelming or unclear. Then it is helpful to just figure out the next 3 steps and start on doing those. Because doing creates clarity. ## **Regular milestone checks along the way** If I’m driving from Little Rock to Chicago, I’m not going to just get in the car and start driving, never checking that I’m on the right road until about 10-11 hours later when I should be there. I’m of course going to keep map or directions handy so I’m sure to make the right turns and be on the right roads. Yet too often we go through goal setting at the beginning of the year and then once the list is created, put it away and never look at it again. Until the next New Year rolls around and we’re frustrated that those great goals didn’t get accomplished. For that reason, it’s a good idea to bring out the big plan at least every quarter to see how we’re doing and make any course corrections needed. It’s about revisiting where things were at and the vision for where they should be. That brings us back to our “why”, the motivation for working this process now. If I lose sight of the beginning and the end, then the messy middle doesn’t make much sense. What I do today won’t seem to change anything. That’s how we get lost and stop working towards our goals. We lose sight of the goal and why we want to get there. We are lost in the weeds. But if we keep focused on the vision of how we want things to become, then come next Christmas it will be exciting to compare how that written vision compares with what actually happened during the year.  Because life isn’t neat and tidy, it won’t be an exact match, but it will have been an amazing journey and we’ll be much farther along than we really expected before penning that vision. ![the story of your next year planning template](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/planning-template.webp) [Download your free planning template (pdf)](https://claesjonasson.com/category/rail-journeys/)[](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/planning_template.pdf) ![small girl with backpack checking her map](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/girl-with-map-1024x597.jpg)She’ll get there: Map in hand, and with her backpack, she’s ready for the journey ahead --- --- title: "From the Statue of Liberty to London’s Wembley, via Seattle" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/from-the-statue-of-liberty-to-londons-wembley-via-seattle/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Man and woman meet, connect, fall in love. One small hitch — they’re both engaged to others. Star-crossed lovers? Or is there a way to be together after all? We have a story!" last_modified: "2024-11-13T14:35:46+00:00" categories: [Movies and TV] --- # From the Statue of Liberty to London’s Wembley, via Seattle Man and woman meet, connect, fall in love in a matter of a few days.  One small hitch — they’re both engaged to others.  That could be the recipe for a story about star-crossed lovers. Destined never to have a happy ending.  Or maybe they find a way to be together after all. _We have a story!_ The idea popped into Leo McCarey’s head as the ship he and his wife were on passed the Statue of Liberty on its way back to the US from Europe.  Leo was a successful film director in 1930s Hollywood. But he was tired of directing the usual romantic and screwball comedies. So his wife got him to go on a vacation in Europe. To recharge. Find fresh ideas. No idea what other things he came up with during the European tour, but this one, at the very end of the trip, surpassed them all. Of course it might never have gone past an idea. Movie concepts and scripts spin around Hollywood and languish for years, waiting for someone to see how brilliant they are and give green light for production. Not so in this case.  ## **Roll camera!** ![Love Affair, 1939](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Love-Affair-1939.jpg) Before there was even a finished script, the film was in production, with Irene Dunne and Charles Boyer as the leads. The story line had expanded to have the possibly star-crossed lovers agree to meet again in 6 months time. To see if there was a future for them together.  _Love Affair_ premiered in 1939, with several Academy Awards nominations. That could have been the end. World War II came and when it was finally over, the world had changed. A lot. ## **Take 2: Action!** ![An Affair to Remember cover](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/An-Affair-To-Remember.jpg) But some stories are not done with that easily and neither was Leo McCarey. So in 1957, movie theater goers were treated to a fresh version. In color. Again directed by Leo McCarey. Now with Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr in the lead roles. The story remained much the same, but the title was new: _An Affair to Remember_. ## Take 3: Airplane! ![Love Affair poster, 1994](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Love-Affair-1994.jpg) Fast forward to 1994 when the story was picked up again. For a more significant remake as _Love Affair_. This time with Warren Beatty and Annette Benning.  The 1939 movie started on an ocean liner, going from Marseilles to New York, with a stop at the Madeira Islands. That made perfect sense. Traveling by ship was how you got from Europe to America or vice versa.  Same thing in the 1957 version.  However, the very next year, the Boeing 707 flew for the first time. And the number of air passengers surpassed ship passengers for crossing the Atlantic. By 1994, people definitely didn’t travel by ships to get from one continent to another. Presumably the new producers could have had the 2 people meet on a cruise. After all, _The Love Boat_ had already popularized cruises on the small screen. Instead Beatty and Benning meet on a transpacific flight from Australia to New York. That could work. But it seems the script writers had doubts. So the flight makes an emergency landing on a Pacific island. Fortunately there’s a Russian cruise ship nearby that can pick up the stranded passengers and get them towards their destination. And so we get the shipboard scenes seemingly required by the story. In all 3 movies, the Empire State Building is the place where the lovers will rendezvous 6 months later. Because you could apparently just show up and ride the elevator up to the observation deck back then.  Surely 3 adaptations of the same story had exhausted the subject. Not so fast. Our friends in Bollywood adapted it at least once and maybe more times. In 1999 the movie _Mann_ was released in India, adapting the story of 2 persons who fall in love and agree to meet again in 6 months for Indian culture and settings. (No Empire State Building involved.) ## Then there’s Seattle ![Sleepless in Seattle cover](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Sleepless-in-Seattle.jpg) Let’s not forget the other major take on the story: _Sleepless in Seattle_ (1993) with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. This time there are 0 ocean liners involved. Although Hanks lives on a houseboat. Does that count? He’s in Seattle, she’s in Baltimore.  The Empire State Building is still there and the place where everything comes together in the end. Actually, I discovered the earlier movies through _Sleepless in Seattle_. Playing on a TV in the movie are scenes from an _An Affair to Remember_. Since that seemed important to the characters, I looked it up. Then one thing led to another.  ## **The stories we love** Clearly we, the audience, embrace stories about people who meet, more or less randomly (serendipity at work), spend time together in close quarters (on a ship or plane). It’s that making a connection and seeing the possibility of a something more. That a lot of things would have to change for that future to become real is the challenge we root for the protagonists to overcome.  The resolution, but also open loop, is agreeing to meet again at a future date. Maybe the concept resonates because for so many of us, the person we end up marrying and spending our future with, is someone who wasn’t there at all, until one day they dropped into our life. Randomly.  Because what logic would explain that 2 people who grew up on different continents would spend their life together? What are the chances that they’d even ever meet? That concept is intriguing. It makes for a good story.  Plus it’s about succeeding against many odds. We, the audience, want things to work out. Love. Live happily ever after. Because if it can work for them, then there’s hope for us. These storylines all reflect optimism about life and relationships. ## **Deeper connections, making it personal** Each of the movies also includes a story arc where the lady meets the man’s extended family. It’s one thing to meet somebody and get to know them over a few days. It’s another to meet their family and see the world they came from.  I ‘ve gone places as a tourist for a visit. But when I went there and stayed with a local family, effectively becoming part of their world for the duration of my visit, I suddenly engaged on a much deeper level.  We see that happen in each of the 3 movies when Terry McKay meets Michel’s/Nickie’s grandmother/Mike’s aunt.  In _Sleepless in Seattle_ we don’t have that, but there is Sam’s son. Family. Again, deeper connection. ## **As time goes by (you look so old)** Each film was very much a product of its time. I already mentioned the travel by ship. Which worked fine for the first 2 movies. In the 1994 version, the writers recognized that people travel by plane now. So the characters meet on a plane. But they still ended up on a ship for part of the journey.  Some plot points have not aged so well. Apparently it was seriously inviting scandal for 2 single people to spend time together on an ocean liner in 1939 and again in 1957. Today, I doubt that would be a big deal. Just saying. In _Sleepless in Seattle_, Annie travels to Seattle to check out Sam. Spy, really. In 1993 a tad bit obsessive. Today, that would clearly be termed stalking, worthy of a restraining order. But that part of storytelling: Stories always exist within a certain cultural context, even when taking place in “present day”. Because that present day soon becomes yesterday and history. ## **One more thing (or 2)** Has this storyline inspired more movies? Possibly. Or maybe it’s a concept that just pops into our minds from time to time as we meet someone, feel a connection and start to think forward. ![Before Sunrise and Before Sunset movie covers](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/before.jpg) Richard Linklater says that his inspiration for the movie _Before Sunrise_, came out of him meeting a woman in a toy shop in Philadelphia in 1989. They walked around the city together, talking late into the night. Which led him to create the screenplay that became the first of 3 movies: In _Before Sunrise_, we encounter Céline (Julie Delpy) and Jesse (Ethan Hawke) who serendipitously meet on a train headed for Vienna. They connect and spend the evening and night together wandering around the city, falling in love with each other. The next day, their paths diverge, but not before they agree to meet again in 6 months. In the sequel, _Before Sunset_, we find out that they didn’t actually meet again in 6 months and their lives went down separate paths. Now 9 years later, they have an opportunity to again decide if they think they have a future together. One more thing: _Sleepless in Seattle_ was recently turned into a stage musical: _Sleepless — A Musical Romance_. The musical had a limited run at Troubadour Wembley Park Theatre in Wembley, London, this past August – September.  Because we still need stories about people, who don’t know each other, meeting. Connecting. Finding a future together. It’s what gives us hope for relationships.  --- --- title: "The dream job" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/the-dream-job/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "I landed my dream job as a video and film producer with a growing production company, located in a medieval castle, complete with a moat. Perfect, right?\n\nSo why did I leave after just a few months?" last_modified: "2024-09-09T21:40:25+00:00" categories: [Life purpose, Work] --- # The dream job My new office was in a real medieval castle. With a moat. That you crossed on a bridge to walk under ancient arches into a small courtyard.  It was the kind of location you only dream of and this seemed like the perfect job. I was joining an aspiring production company to create programming for national and international television. Plus plenty of corporate videos. So how come I walked out across that idyllic moat for the last time just a few months later? _Leaving it all behind._ 2 words: **The Boss.** The guy who owned the company. And considered himself a Divine Gift to humanity. But it didn’t start badly. The Company was a small production company with BIG plans. Which is why The Boss not only hired me, but also a full-time marketing person at the same time. Because The Company was going places.  Up to this point, The Boss had been video and film producer, as well as chief marketer, all in one. But now things were going to change. So here I was. Ready to take on the world. ## **Getting started in the new job** For my first few client meetings, The Boss came along. Which I appreciated. I was after all a _new_ video and film producer and he had _decades_ of experience. I did wonder though when one day, as we were already late to a client’s office, he insisted I drive around the block a couple extra times, just so he could properly curl his mustache.  Clearly I had something to learn about the importance of keeping up appearances! Soon I was deep into production, working hard to get everything right. But often with a feeling like someone was looking over my shoulder, just waiting to catch a mistake. There was The Big Car Company Commercial Shoot. The Boss had negotiated that. His script called for a location shoot in North Africa. Because the light and color was better there than at home. A week before the shoot, he casually told me that he really had intended for me to go on that shoot. _What? That was the first I heard of it!_  But he didn’t feel I was ready. So he went instead. He was gone for over a month.  ## **It’s a changed world** With The Boss gone, everything in the office seemed to flow so much smoother. There was casual chatter and everyone was excited about doing their work.  We also began brainstorming ways to drum up new business. Because the projects The Boss envisioned (and we all really wanted to do) would take months to materialize (and pay off). But inside that ancient castle, we had a very modern video post production facility. That cost money, whether anyone was producing video or not.  A key to our plan was to find ways to do more marginal and lower end work without diluting the high end brand of our production company. Projects that would bring in money short-term. We had it all figured out, including marketing and positioning. It was all about making maximum use of production and editing equipment and our team’s skills. It all came to a screeching halt when The Boss returned from North Africa and The Big Car Company Commercial Shoot. ## **Reality check and it’s not good** The first day back, The Boss called us into his office. One by one.  I later gathered that the visits all followed the same script: _What have you done here while I was gone?_  Invariably, whatever that was, it was not enough. So we were all about to be fired, because clearly couldn’t be trusted. If he’d been the Dread Pirate Roberts, he’d have promised to _definitely_ kill each of us in the morning. _At first light._ However, IF (and that was a big “if”) the person could improve 1000% between this conversation and the next meeting a couple days later, then all would most likely be well. _Probably._ I came out from that meeting convinced that clearly I’d totally missed the mark and needed to work like crazy for the next couple of days to show that I could indeed do good work. Didn’t help that this coincided with my 90 day review. The one that decided if I’d permanently be working in the medieval castle. A few days later I was back in The Boss’ office. I laid out the 10 (count ’em) TV program concepts I’d created. A mix of educational, documentary and fiction programming. One page pitch, project detail, resources and locations needed, ideal audience, rough budget and production timeline. _The works._ The Boss reviewed each concept in turn.  When done, he declared that this was at least a 400% improvement. There was however a ‘but’. He was still not quite sure about making things permanent. So he proposed another 90 days of provisional employment. _At the provisional salary. _Then we’d talk again. He was sure I’d be up to snuff by then. Very promising indeed. ## **But it’s my dream job** Here I was, my first real job as a film and TV producer. I hadn’t expected it to be all fun and games. Because we all have to pay our dues. But something didn’t feel right. I recalled other staff members telling how The Boss would randomly chew out or otherwise piss off clients on a fairly regular basis. Then the Longtime Assistant would have to get on the phone and grovel to get the client back. Which tended to happen. And everything was good.  _Until next time._ Clearly he handled his staff the same way. The others in The Company had worked for The Boss for a long time. Groveling on his behalf seemed to be an accepted part of “all other duties as assigned”. As was having a nearly constant threat of being fired hanging over you. I’d first met The Boss several years earlier when he had a large photography studio downtown. Then when I went to interview, I found out it was a small team doing video and film based outside the city. Maybe I should have asked how come the business had changed so much. But then that’s what businesses do: Change. Now I began to wonder if there was a more sinister reason for why it was now a small company in a castle in the country. But this was my dream job. In a medieval castle. With a real moat. _Surely I was overreacting._ You don’t just up and quit your job when you are the sole breadwinner for the family. With nothing else on the horizon. Plus there was the nagging feeling that if I did quit, The Boss would talk and then nobody in the smallish regional production community would hire me._ Those things happen._ ## **Competition or together we’re better** In the end, after prayer, soul-searching and counsel, I concluded it wasn’t worth it. Because this was the trial period of employment. Sort of like dating — you’re definitely on your best behavior. So if it was like this now, it wouldn’t get any better a year or 5 or 10 from now. And so I walked out through the castle gate, across the bridge over the moat, for the last time a week or so later. But I’ve never forgotten those months working in a real medieval castle with a moat. I actually really liked and got along fine with everyone there, except The Boss.  Only much later did it occur to me that maybe I was a threat of sorts to him.  He wanted to expand the business. Which is why he hired me. To be another creative video and film producer in The Company.  Up until then, he was the Creative Star. What if I turned out to be more creative than him? _Ouch._  That wasn’t even an issue to me. I saw an opportunity to work with someone with decades of experience in the business. To learn from him. Together he, I and everyone else in the company could create things more awesome than any one of us could do on our own. That was clearly not The Boss’ vision. As much as he needed help to grow the company, I was _competition_. The new marketer was only a little competition. Because while he did marketing, he didn’t do the creative. And the other staff members were effectively all in support roles, either running the office or crewing on productions. But I was there to be creative and dream up new projects, as well as connect directly with clients. That’s either radically increasing capacity for The Company or competition. ## **The deal breaker** It was the Big Car Company Commercial Shoot that settled it for me in the end. Because while I was with The Company, I experienced 2 very different environments: When The Boss was around and when he was not. It was like night and day — in how things worked in the office, how client interactions went, project progress, the level of creativity. Because a constant atmosphere of chaos, suspicion and the words _“You are the weakest link. You’re fired!”_ hang around every corner will never be a productive workplace. Everyone will either be protecting themselves as best they can or focusing on finding a job elsewhere. Maybe I could have tried to stick with it longer. Hoping to not get fired at my next 90 day review.  I might even have reasoned that The Boss would change and mellow out as The Company grew. Yet somewhere deep down, I knew that wouldn’t happen. Even if his behavior ultimately drove The Company into the ground. Because while The Boss loved to appear cultured and refined, he ran things by fear and bullying. Regularly crossed the line with staff and clients. Not even remotely on his mind to lead by good example or by being a servant. I concluded that was not for me. If I stayed, I’d lose my creativity and who I was, my integrity, one compromise at a time. _So we parted ways._ Staying might not have been quite a Faustian bargain, but would have been too close for me. I wasn’t looking for a line in the sand, but I found it. And this experience did help me know how to deal with work related challenges at other times in my career. I don’t know what eventually happened to The Company and The Boss. Only that several years later, I saw in a business directory that there was still a video production company in that old castle. However, with a different name — a national company with multiple offices. Maybe The Boss sold out to them when his big plans didn’t pan out?  By then I was working in video and film production doing international and ultimately award winning work. Life was good. And I didn’t have to call clients to apologize for The Boss. ### **Reflection:** _If you’ve worked for a Bad Boss, how did you handle it? How did it end?_ _What makes a good or bad Boss?_ _Where do you draw the line on how crazy or toxic a work environment has to get before you decide to leave?_ --- --- title: "Celebrating labor" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/celebrating-labor/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Labor Day is about celebrating workers. Because if nobody worked, we wouldn’t eat, have anywhere to live or much of anything else. Labor makes life possible." last_modified: "2024-09-09T21:42:18+00:00" categories: [Life purpose, Work] --- # Celebrating labor Labor Day — a long weekend that traditionally marks the end of summer. From here on, we settle into the regular autumn routines (although this year nothing is regular or routine). Labor Day is about celebrating workers. Because if nobody worked, we wouldn’t eat, have anywhere to live or have or do much of anything else. In a very real sense, labor makes life possible. ([How Labor Day began.](https://www.history.com/topics/holidays/labor-day-1)) Unless you’re in some futuristic sci-fi thing where robots do all the work and humans just lounge about all day, every day. But then where’s the purpose of keeping humans around? We were in a very real sense created to work. To labor. To fashion things that didn’t exist before. ## The goal of labor For some, labor is about putting in time for a paycheck. For others, what they do is a labor of love — a source of accomplishment. > _“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”_ _Steve Jobs_ Back when I worked in a harbor, there was a kid, fresh out of high school, on the team. He was the youngest among us. And so often, at quitting time, he’d lean on his shovel and exclaim: “One day closer to retirement.”  He was lucky to not get thrown in the water. Because none of the rest of us really wanted to do that particular very manual work every day until the day we retired. ([Read more in _The old man and the kid_.](https://claesjonasson.com/the-old-man-and-the-kid/)) ## Soaring, trying new things > _“Just try new things. Don’t be afraid. Step out of your comfort zones and soar, all right?”_ _Michelle Obama_ That’s easy enough to say and much harder to do. Because a paycheck provides a level of security. It keeps coming, every 2 weeks. Like clockwork. Until of course you get 2 weeks notice.  After decades of working for others, it was scary to step out on my own and start a business. Because you never really know if it’s going to fly. And in the 13 years since, I’ve had to reinvent myself multiple times. It doesn’t have to be starting a business. It can be changing from one job to another. There’s risk. And lots of unknown. But we can’t possibly soar if we never leave the nest. ## The dignity of work > _“All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.”_ _Martin Luther King, Jr._ If we didn’t know how important work, even so called ‘menial work’, was, the pandemic surely has made it clear. Because while I’m able to work from anywhere, so many people have to physically show up. Garbage collectors, grocery store clerks, bank tellers, cleaning persons, police officers, firefighters and of course doctors and nurses.  They’re the ones who keep on doing their job, even when conditions get tough. So the rest of us can benefit. Because without them going to their workplaces, I couldn’t work from anywhere. > _“If you pursue good with labor, the labor passes away but the good remains; if you pursue evil with pleasure, the pleasure passes away and the evil remains.”_ _Marcus Tullius Cicero_ One of my biggest fears would be to work very hard at something all my life, only to get to the end and find out that none of it really mattered at all. Fortunately, my work has been about making life better for people. Sometimes in small ways, sometimes a bit bigger. Somewhere in Louisville, Kentucky, there are people who I’ve never met, and will likely never meet, but who were the ones who assembled the car I drive. I am thankful to you all. ## An honest day’s pay > _“But every acquisition that is disproportionate to the labor spent on it is dishonest.”_ _Leo Tolstoy,_ Anna Karenina Teslas may be cool cars and it took some groundbreaking innovation to make them happen, but seriously, is Elon Musk worth 40,668 times what the median Tesla worker makes? Even an average chief executive of an S&P 500 company earned 287 times more than his or her median employee in 2018.  That’s a pretty ridiculous pay gap if you ask me. ## When work happens > _“Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work.”_ _Stephen King_ That’s right. Being a professional means pushing forward and getting the job done on time. I’m certainly thankful that the people I depend on to do their jobs showed up. > _“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”_ _Jesus _(Matthew 11:28-30) At the end of the day, there is more to life than labor. We were not made to work 24/7/365. We all need rest. Jesus came to draw us, whole, weary or broken, to him and give us hope and comfort. For this life and for eternity. Labor can be a lot of things. And it’s certainly right that we take a day out of the year to celebrate the importance of Labor (and those who do the laboring). I consider it a blessing to have worked in many kinds of labor in my life. Physical labor with my hands, getting dirty. In offices. In higher education. And in those oddly strange creative settings I hang out in now. Great experiences that shaped my life and that I wouldn’t want to be without. --- --- title: "Inside out and topsy-turvy" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/inside-out-and-topsy-turvy/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Life suddenly became totally different, overwhelming. How do we cope? Move forward? To change or not to change and if so, what?" last_modified: "2020-07-26T18:46:57+00:00" categories: [Health] --- # Inside out and topsy-turvy Life in the time of Coronavirus is totally different from anything we ever imagined — even at the beginning of this very year. Many things that we used to take for granted are no longer part of everyday life. And things we never imagined are. Everything is in a state of flux. Constant change. Confusion. ## **Responding to change** We all must figure out how to deal with that discombobulation. For some people that choice is to try to claw their way back to ‘normal’. As in the way things used to be, before Corona. Never mind that doing so often means astronomically raising the risk of catching or spreading the virus. For many others, it’s knowing that things have changed, and must change. Just not at all sure what I can do. Or should do. Overwhelmed on a daily basis. ## **A prayer for Coronavirus times** Decades ago, theologian Reinhold Niebuhr penned a prayer that has become a staple of recovery programs. And let’s face it, we’re all in a recovery program now. Plus this is really a prayer about life. _God, give me grace to accept with serenity_ _the things that cannot be changed,_ _Courage to change the things_ _which should be changed,_ _and the Wisdom to distinguish_ _the one from the other._ _Living one day at a time,_ _Enjoying one moment at a time,_ _Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,_ _Taking, as Jesus did,_ _This sinful world as it is,_ _Not as I would have it,_ _Trusting that You will make all things right,_ _If I surrender to Your will,_ _So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,_ _And supremely happy with You forever in the next._ _Amen._ ## **Simple, while covering a lot of ground** This seemingly simple prayer covers some really important bases: There are things that can be changed and things that can’t be changed.  Ignoring things I can change will leave me stuck. Spending all my effort trying to change things I can’t, will leave me bruised and worn out. So the real wisdom lies in knowing the difference and acting accordingly. Because changing things I can actually affect moves me (and others) forward. A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. After all, we best live life one day at a time. Yesterday is gone and done. Tomorrow hasn’t happened yet. Today is now and where we can take action. There’s another part of the equation here too: This is about more than just me. As in, I can’t do it all by myself. Recognizing that fact is a very important first step. Fortunately, we can have help in navigating our way through this pandemic.  Because Jesus showed the way for us, guiding us toward our Creator and a relationship with Him that lasts far beyond our limited years in this world. ## **Still feeling overwhelmed?** Time to practice triage. When I was in the military, I was the guy with the medic bag. Meaning that in a real battle situation, I’d be the first one to give aid to anyone wounded.  But what if there were multiple wounded? Clearly one medic can’t take care of all of them at once. Must make choices. First come, first served won’t cut it, because the mangled leg needs care more urgently than a superficial scrape.  That’s where triage comes in. Before actually treating any patient, I would quickly determine the urgency of each person’s wounds. Then deal with the most critical injuries first. While somebody with less training might help those with less urgent needs. Triage isn’t valuable only in emergency medical care.  Now during Coronavirus times, we feel, are overwhelmed. So it’s important to know what to focus on. That should be things we actually can change. While letting go of things we can’t change. ## **Slouching towards a new normal** Even in the midst of this stormy sea of upheaval that the pandemic is, there are things each of us can do. To help ourselves. To help others. To see us all through. (For more tips, check out [_Potter is not selling — he’s buying_](https://claesjonasson.com/potter-is-not-selling-hes-buying/)) This pandemic too will pass. Eventually. There will be a new normal beyond the current flux. Not exactly like the old normal. But a new normal. And what you and I choose to do today helps [shape that future](https://claesjonasson.design/when-the-wheels-come-off-the-bus/). Because in the midst of difficulty, also lies great opportunity. As long as we know how to accept the things that can’t be changed, have the courage to change those that should be changed and the wisdom to know the difference.  One day at a time. --- --- title: "Independence Day" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/independence-day/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”" last_modified: "2024-09-09T21:44:48+00:00" categories: [History, Life purpose] --- # Independence Day Many countries have a day for national celebration. Might be when the country became independent or another major event in its history.  The French celebrate July 14. Because on that day in 1789, in the midst of the French Revolution, the people stormed the most hated prison of them all, the Bastille in Paris. In Sweden, the National Day is June 6. On this day in 1523, Gustav Vasa was elected king of Sweden. That ended the Kalmar Union that had bound Denmark, Norway and Sweden together under one Queen or King for over 100 years. Sweden was independent again.  Also on June 6, in 1809, a new constitution was enacted in Sweden, dividing power, thereby ending the King’s absolute power. The 4th of July, Independence Day in the U.S., is well-known far beyond American shores. Even if it’s not celebrated in other countries (much to the surprise of some U.S. tourists abroad). Seems everyone has heard of the American Revolution though. ## **July 4, 1776**, the original Independence Day On July 4, 1776, 13 American colonies made themselves an independent country, proudly [declaring](https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/declaration-transcript): _“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”_ It of course didn’t start there and it didn’t end there. There was a war going on. Many inhabitants of the colonies hadn’t seen eye to eye with the very remote government back in London for a long time. A Continental Congress was convened and eventually full-blown war broke out that didn’t end until 1783, after France and Spain stepped in on the side of the fledgling country. Yet even then it was not a sure thing that this new American experiment would succeed. 13 states had come together, but faced a number of issues that threatened to pull them apart. Like slavery. And so the framers of the Constitution determined that concessions on slavery were required to ensure the support of southern colonies, notably South Carolina and Georgia. Yet, in sidestepping the issue, the seeds were sown for another war. Clearly some things were not so self-evident after all. ## **My first Independence Day celebration** It was the [summer of 1972](https://claesjonasson.com/my-best-summer/) and I spent a couple of weeks with a family in Berlin, Germany.  One day, the mom suggested I go to this 4th of July observation in the American Sector. I’d seen American soldiers around Berlin, but never thought that much about it. Hadn’t realized just how important their presence was for the continued freedom of Berlin. I found myself on a wide street in front of the American military headquarters, watching a splendid military parade. Lots of onlookers too. U.S. soldiers and their families of course. But also many Germans.  After all, [Berlin](https://claesjonasson.com/goodbye-east-berlin/) was a [divided city](https://claesjonasson.com/walls-and-fences-to-keep-us-apart/), thanks to the Cold War. The city sat far inside communist East Germany. Only the presence of American, British and French troops in the city kept the Russian tanks from rolling in.  In the parade, rows of American tanks, armored vehicles and artillery rolled by. Certainly seemed like it went on forever. Over a PA system, the name of each state and the date it was admitted to the union was red off, punctuated by artillery salutes. Very official. Very impressive. After the parade was over, I went back home to the my host family and the regular German day went on. But somehow I had a sense that things went on so perfectly normally exactly because the Americans were there. Guarantors of freedom. After all, President John F. Kennedy visited Berlin 2 years after the Wall was built, famously declaring: _**“Ich bin in Berliner”**_. (I am a Berliner.) Expressing solidarity with the people of a divided city and letting them know that he had their backs. ## Freedom must not be taken for granted Since then I’ve participated in many more celebrations of Independence Day. And lots of things have changed since then. The Cold War ended, Berlin is once again one city in a reunified Germany. No need for U.S. soldiers in Berlin now. That’s not to say that we can take freedom for granted. When the Continental Congress declared the independence of this new country, there was no guarantee the country (or idea) would persevere. _Still no guarantee in 2020._ We’re facing our very own set of unique challenges.  The world is _not_ safe. Freedom and democracy are under attack in many places. Including right here at home. ## **Danger is within** Remember Abraham Lincoln’s words: > “At what point shall we expect the approach of danger? By what means shall we fortify against it?– Shall we expect some transatlantic military giant, to step the Ocean, and crush us at a blow? Never! … I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide. America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.” Abraham Lincoln, Lyceum Address, 1838 How perceptive he was. Note that he said these words in 1838. 23 years before the Civil War almost tore the nation asunder. But he was clearly aware of the many issues in the still new country that were potential powder kegs.  2 World Wars and many regional conflicts later, it’s still quite clear that the biggest threat to these United States is from within. If we as a nation allow issues to divide us, pursue extremism and polarization, then we will ultimately lose our freedoms. ## **Words of wisdom** Here are some other thoughts for Independence Day. Words that we do exceedingly well to really listen to and then heed.  > “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” _Benjamin Franklin_ Each of us has a vital part in preserving liberty and freedom for each other. > “Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.” _Ronald Reagan_ In 1987, Ronald Reagan visited Berlin and made a speech in front of the Wall in Berlin where he laid down a challenge: _“Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”_ > “The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” _Albert Camus_ Might have to think about this one for a bit. Because it’s a challenger… > “True individual freedom cannot exist without economic security and independence. People who are hungry and out of a job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made.” _Franklin D. Roosevelt_ In the midst of the Great Depression, FDR rolled out the New Deal that put in place a security net that has become foundational to our modern society and helps our pursuit of life, liberty and justice. > “For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.” _Nelson Mandela_ Humanly speaking, if you were imprisoned for 27 years, you might be forgiven for not caring for the freedom of those who imprisoned you, but to look for revenge. Nelson instead chose dialog and working towards a better future. > “The United States was born in revolution and nurtured by struggle. Throughout our history, the American people have befriended and supported all those who seek independence and a better way of life.” _Robert Kennedy_ ## **The future of the American Experiment** > “I should like to know if, taking this old Declaration of Independence, which declares that all men are equal upon principle, you begin making exceptions to it, where will you stop? If one man says it does not mean a Negro, why not another say it does not mean some other man?” _Abraham Lincoln_ Either we’re _all_ humans or none of us are. Because any line we draw, defining one group as superior to others, will inevitably be arbitrary. Subject to change on a whim. > “When plunder has become a way of life for a group of people living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it, and a moral code that glorifies it.” _Frédéric Bastiat_ ‘Greed is good’ was the motto of the 1980s Wall Street. Ebenezer Scrooge would have agreed. And yet, in the end, Ebenezer did realize his error and saw that life and happiness lies in providing a better future for all. > “He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from opposition; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach himself.” _Thomas Paine_ Given that Thomas Paine was attacked by both conservatives and revolutionaries, one might have expected him to be less charitable to those whose opinions differed from his. But the lifelong revolutionary understood that true liberty only comes when _everyone’s_ liberty is protected. ## Still going We celebrate July 4 as Independence Day, because on that day in 1776, the Declaration of Independence was signed and made public. The greatest experiment in history started. _And is still going on._ All of us who live in this country are part of shaping it. We each have a part in how it succeeds. Or doesn’t. Let’s make sure it’s still around and free for the 250th anniversary, which isn’t that far away any more.  This land is your land, and this land is my land From California, to the New York Island From the Redwood Forest, to the Gulf stream waters This land was made for you and me — Woody Guthrie --- --- title: "Movies for a long, hot summer" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/movies-for-a-long-hot-summer/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Corruption and crime at the top. • Can we change society? • Peaceful protest, angry violence. • Bringing back great industrial jobs. • Friends forever, for a lifetime. • What if a camera could open up a new world?" last_modified: "2024-11-13T12:17:16+00:00" categories: [Movies and TV] --- # Movies for a long, hot summer Movies (and TV shows) inform and inspire. Help us make sense of the world we’re in and also to see what all it could be. Every day we live through events that will later become part of history. But things unfold messily and a little bit at a time. So it’s hard to see any big trend and if it truly is a game changer. Perspective only comes later, as we look back at a series of events and see how they shaped history. Some of the titles below cover things that I saw unfold on the news, little by little. Others are about times and events that are already in the realm of history. But they all have one thing in common: How we choose to live life and define what’s important. Let’s start with a classic movie about an equally classic time: ## **All the President’s Men** (1976) ![All the President's Men movie poster](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/all-the-presidents-men.jpg) A clumsy burglary and 2 green reporters. A minor news story that then just wouldn’t go away and eventually blew up the political world, bringing down a president. It was a scandal at the highest level.  The story follows reporters Bob Woodward (Robert Redford) and Carl Bernstein (Dustin Hoffman) as they investigate what seems like a random burglary. Back in 1972, we didn’t expect this little thing to become a high stakes thriller.  And once the story started to unravel, there was the longest debate about how high involvement went. Was the president actually involved? It seemed _inconceivable_.  Then little, by little, the inconceivable became much more conceivable, as we learned what really went on behind closed doors. It’s a cautionary tale of what happens when ends are allowed to justify the means. And how badly wrong things can quickly go. ## **Mrs. America** (2020) ![Mrs. America poster](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/mrs-america.jpg) Once upon a time there was a simple proposition called the ERA (Equal Rights Amendment): _“Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.”_ Sounds simple, right? Who could not want that: men and women to be treated equally under the law. Or maybe not. After all, it wasn’t until the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974 that women could get credit cards without their husband cosigning the application. _**Say what?!**_ _Inconceivable!_ So passing the ERA to be part of the constitution should have been pretty straightforward. After all, there was bipartisan support of it. Except apparently, nothing is ever that simple.  _Mrs. America_ is the story of what happened on the road to equal rights and protection for everyone, women and men. Equally interesting is learning more about the many people involved and what they were about. Because too many of them I only knew from media snippets and headlines here and there. Again, that blurry jumble of bits of information we gather as events unfold around us. This is a well-crafted limited series that puts a volatile period of our recent history in perspective. We’re certainly living with the effects today. And equal rights under the law is still an elusive goal. ## **American Factory** (2019) documentary ![American Factory poster](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/American-Factory.jpg) The American manufacturing base has changed immensely over the last 40 years. So many jobs that provided a solid income for workers for decades are long gone. In their place, shuttered factories and giant ships carrying thousands upon thousands of containers from overseas manufacturers. Because apparently even the cheapest little item can be made for less overseas. So it’s news when manufacturing is brought back to these shores.  _American Factory_ is the story of the former GM Moraine Assembly plant that was closed and then got new life when Chinese company Fuyao took over. Like the proverbial fly on the wall we get to see how things unfold and hear from factory workers.  It’s hopes and promises, contrasted with unfolding reality. Also about the incompatibility of Chinese and American industrial cultures. All against a backdrop of manufacturing everywhere changing in the face of robots and automation.  The manufacturing world certainly has changed irrevocably from when I worked in industry in the 1970s and it’s not done yet. ## **Selma** (2014) ![Selma poster](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/selma.jpg) In March 1965, Selma, Alabama, was suddenly on everybody’s mind, no matter where in the U.S. you lived.  It was not the first time civil rights marches had been met with violence. But it was a time and place when things definitely changed as a result. It was also a time when the violent response (tear gas and eager application of billy clubs) to a peaceful march was displayed on front pages all over the world. The kind of photographs that make you truly wonder what would possess one human being to treat another in that manner. This dramatic retelling includes the well-known players: Martin Luther King, President Lyndon Johnson, Governor George Wallace and J. Edgar Hoover. All parts of how the events unfolded.  But the real key players are all the unarmed blacks (and whites), marching for something as simple as the right to vote and be part of shaping the community they live in. Without risking being beaten or blown to kingdom come just for existing. Selma isn’t just one march. There were several attempts before the march actually was successfully completed. And the world wondered if this non-violent approach really could have _any _effect in the face of so much hatred, backed by institutional violence … Yet in August 1965, President Johnson finally signed the Voting Rights Act of 1965 into law. Major accomplishment. How truly sad that 55 years later, this law is still being challenged by endless efforts at voter suppression. Because the concept of one person, one vote is apparently really, really scary to some folks. Clearly there is much more work to be done. ## **Beaches** (1988) ![Beaches movie poster](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/beaches.jpg) _Beaches_ is about C.C. Bloom and Hillary Whitney, 2 preteen girls, who randomly meet on a beach. Turns out they’re from very different backgrounds. Plus they live at opposite sides of the U.S. Even so, they become fast penpals for years. Their lives truly intertwine when they eventually are roommates in New York.  Then their very different personalities lead to a fallout and going their separate ways. But reconciliation comes in the end and they’re there for each other as life takes a dramatic turn. Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey play the adult friends. This movie is also an opportunity to see Mayim Bialik in one of her very early movie roles, long before _The Big Bang Theory_. It’s a touching, heart-felt movie about what being a friend means — through highs and lows. And the things friends do for each other. Sometimes that includes saying “I’m sorry” and making up. Sometimes, it’s just knowing that there is another person, somewhere in the world, who cares about me and believes in me. It’s the kind of friendship we all dream of, long for and only rarely experience. Which is why it’s to be treasured when it does happen. ## **Everlasting moments (Maria Larssons eviga ögonblick)** (2008) drama ![Everlasting Moments poster](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/everlasting-moments.jpg) Swedish drama film set in the early 20th century, based on the real life of Maria Larsson. She is a working class woman, married to Sigfrid, laborer, alcoholic and womanizer. Together they have a growing number of children. She wins a camera in a lottery and looking to turn it into more usable cash, meets a photo shop owner who teaches her how to use the camera and become a photographer herself. In the midst of her bleak world, this newfound skill becomes a creative outlet, as well as a way for her to help others. Plus it affords her a lens through which to view the rapid social change in Sweden. Meanwhile, her marriage to Sigfried becomes increasingly abusive and he goes to prison for nearly killing her. Yet, once he’s released, they reconcile. Finally a happy moment for the family? Eventually Maria passes away and her daughter Maja becomes the guardian of her photographs, including Maria’s only self-portrait, taken in a mirror. Existing is often not easy and can be all-consuming. But that’s not all that life is about. Finding something even a little bigger, something that lets us rise above bleak circumstances can make all the difference. Life is messy. And can change rapidly. Just consider how much daily life has changed for us all in a few months. All too easy to get caught up in the current messiness. Get discouraged. Today too will eventually be part of history and we’ll more clearly see the defining moments. It’s not just in history. We have those in our lives too. The trick is to recognize them and treasure them and then make them be truly defining by how we live going forward. The legacy of those who came before us goes on. --- --- title: "Words, meaning, feeling, poetry" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/words-meaning-feeling-poetry/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "I sat at a well-worn table in what used to be a store, now turned into a cultural center of sorts. Listening to a poetry reading. I don’t even remember when I was at a live poetry reading before that." last_modified: "2024-09-09T21:51:51+00:00" categories: [Poetry, Writing] --- # Words, meaning, feeling, poetry I sat at a well-worn table in what used to be a store, now turned into a cultural center of sorts. Listening to a poetry reading. I don’t even remember when I was at a live poetry reading before that. And I was really getting into the poem. The story weaving through it. The images in the words.  It wasn’t strictly a reading though. As in a person standing up, reading lines on a paper. This was the creator of the poem pouring it out to us, the audience, directly from his soul. A true performance. Not merely words, but his entire being communicating. Where you could _feel_ the words every bit as much as hear them. There was a time when I wrote poetry. Except I was never sure it was _really_ poetry. Because so not Shakespearean sonnets or iambic pentameter. Not even limericks. What I wrote was free form poetry. _Vers libre._ No strict form. No rhymes. No counting syllables. It’s words crafted together to generate and convey idea, feeling, message. Unified by the natural rhythm of language. ## **The importance of every word** All poetry relies on very careful selection of each word included. In that sense poetry is an excellent exercise for writers. Because you can cobble together a couple thousand words and have a short story. Or many more words and have a novel. You may even be forgiven for having too many words in there. Ones that aren’t strictly needed.  In poetry, not so much. _Every single word counts._ That economy of words is of course why poetry is so ancient and very much sticks with us. Add rhythm and connections between the words and we have something eminently memorable. Historically, writing was laborious. Words written on paper with ink take time to form. Even words typed using a typewriter require thought. Unless you’re going to use massive amounts of whiteout. But today, almost anyone can quickly crank out a couple thousand words on a computer. Editing is easy. Nothing is permanent. As a result, we use more words than ever to say the same or less. Something got lost in the process. ## **Communication across time** Language is key to our human experience. The ability to pass on not just facts, but emotion, thoughts and concepts for generations has kept the human race going over millennia. I can read an old poem from a thousand years ago and be moved by what it conveys. Just a few lines of words reaching out across time and space. ## **But poetry is hard** It may also be that very economy of words that confuses our understanding of poetry. We look at the tightly formed language and conclude that there must be some really, really deep meaning. That somehow proper poetry is very “high-brow”. Not for regular people to understand or care about. It might be that reading Shakespearean sonnets in school put us off. After all, that’s English from a time long ago. Not like we speak it today. So harder to understand. And not something we speed-read. Even so, when we encounter something really stunning that flows harmoniously and is full of feeling, we exclaim: “That’s poetry!” ## **Poetic catharsis** So here I was at a live poetry performance. Getting into it. Connecting with the words the poet spoke. Feeling the power in them.  The experience inspired me to dive into capturing ideas and emotions floating around in my head and expressing them in words. Part of the power of poetry is that you can, on one sheet of paper, sort out quite deep issues.  There are times for all of us when we struggle with things and don’t have answers. Writing can be immensely cathartic.   It’s a way to process, to work things out. Short stories or novels are often inspired by real events the author has been through. Free form or any other form of poetry works the same way, except it’s much more focused, since fewer words. ## **But I couldn’t write poetry…** We’re in a culture where we leave so much up to professionals, opting to become spectators rather than active participants.  The idea of providing our own entertainment is nearly unheard of today. If you have guests gathered at your house, you’re not going to have someone sit and play the piano. Not going to have everybody come together and sing.  We’ve abdicated that in favor of turning on a recording and listening to a “real” performer. In the same way, we’ve abdicated formulating our feelings by writing poetry in favor of getting the sentiment on a piece of paper from Hallmark. Clearly those people are much better at finding the right words than we are ourselves. Because somehow it’s my true feelings that come out when I buy a card that somebody else designed and wrote text for — then printed by the thousands. _Or not._ ## **Power in feelings, in interpretation** It’s entirely true that any of the poetry I write today, or at any point in my lifetime, likely will never match something like _[The Road Not Taken](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44272/the-road-not-taken)_ by Robert Frost. It is beyond iconic after all. Yet that’s okay. Because it’s about me and you expressing ourselves, for our own benefit, as much as for sharing with others. Poetry is powerful. Read on a page. When spoken. Because it engages our senses, our entire being. Heart, soul and reason all together. When we read out loud, we engage much more of our senses. I become aligned with what I read as I choose emphasis, rhythm, cadence. I’m connected at an entirely different level. Long ago, people read everything out loud. At some point, they started reading silently. Much later only skimming, scanning for bits and pieces that catch their interest. At which point we only think we got the content and meaning of the words. Encouraged by that recent poetry reading, I’m going to read (and write) more poetry. And read it out loud. To engage all my senses and get the full experience. Can’t wait to see what I’ll discover, about myself, about the world around. Because poetry heals, inspires, and challenges. It may be another one of those roads less traveled by. One that will have made all the difference.  I’ve added a (so far small) [poetry section](https://claesjonasson.com/category/poetry/) on my website, expecting it to grow as inspiration strikes. Each poem is there for reading on the page and also as a recording for listening. [![headlights of train, train tracks at night](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/train-night.jpg) ### Train 232 from Copenhagen ](https://claesjonasson.com/train-232-from-copenhagen/) [![night sky, blood moon](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/blood-moon-1.jpg) ### The comet ](https://claesjonasson.com/the-comet/) [![large format camera on tripod](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/large-format-camera.jpg) ### Poem ](https://claesjonasson.com/poem/) --- --- title: "Train 232 from Copenhagen" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/train-232-from-copenhagen/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Darkening images fly past,\noutside the softly vibrating glass.\n\n\nThere’s a draft from the window.\nBags stowed everywhere." last_modified: "2020-06-17T02:51:20+00:00" categories: [Poetry] custom_fields: enclosure: "https://claesjonasson.com/train-232-from-copenhagen.mp3\n2745916\naudio/mpeg" --- # Train 232 from Copenhagen Darkening images fly past, outside the softly vibrating glass. There’s a draft from the window. Bags stowed everywhere. In the corner a girl, sleeping; Opposite, a woman reading a newspaper. “Ne pas se pencher au-dehors.” A friendly man in brown, the conductor asks for the tickets. “Jeder hat ein Recht auf den Gepäckplatz über sein Sitzplatz!” “Lächerlich.” Through the coming night, all over Europe — hundreds of trains; thousands of people — going somewhere; being taken someplace. The wheels, rolling on endless ribbons of steel, sing out the names of stations the coaches once have passed — Berlin-Zoo Hamburg Hbf Genéve Gare de Austerlitz Enveloping darkness, as the train rolls on, at a hundred kilometers an hour, all through the night and into the day — Copenhagen to Paris in sixteen hours and forty-nine minutes. --- --- title: "The comet" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/the-comet/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Black lands with black images,\nskies of all absorbing velvet" last_modified: "2020-06-17T02:51:26+00:00" categories: [Poetry] custom_fields: enclosure: "https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/the-comet.mp3\n767965\naudio/mpeg" --- # The comet Black lands with black images, skies of all absorbing velvet Pinned onto it a full, blood-red moon. I stand on top of the world, looking east; Hoping to see a comet — a sign in the sky. An icy wind is blowing, and I cannot see a thing. --- --- title: "Poem" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/poem/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Words in pictures\nPictures of words\nImpressions captured in a moment" last_modified: "2020-06-17T02:51:31+00:00" categories: [Poetry] custom_fields: enclosure: "https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Poem.mp3\n1832193\naudio/mpeg" --- # Poem Words in pictures, Pictures of words — Impressions captured in a moment. Moment captured by impression. The shutter of the camera opens and closes: On the film is a picture of the world, seen through a lens. A slide projected on a wall, image of reality. The luminescence and the pure colors, the sharpness and clarity; everything speaks for itself. Every detail so clear. Everything so alive — The feeling in the midst of it, can say more than words A slide projected on a wall, work of a camera — image of reality. A poem scribed on paper, work of a moment — eternity’s image. --- --- title: "Meeting again and then…" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/meeting-again-and-then/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Michael was looking forward to being back in the metropolis where he once lived. Stepping off the train there, he’d meet Jody. It'd been ages. And the last time had gone spectacularly badly." last_modified: "2020-06-03T13:43:59+00:00" categories: [Fiction] --- # Meeting again and then… The long distance train sped through miles of suburbs towards downtown. Fields and occasional woods that accompanied the railroad earlier on had given way to streets and houses, interspersed with trees, spreading out as far as he could see. The train rushed along, elevated on an embankment, now and then crossing a street on a thundering steel bridge. Down there people were coming and going, doing life like any other day.  For Michael, this was not any other day. To be sure, he was regularly on trains or planes, traveling for work. Because there was always another consulting job in another town. He was headed to one of those assignments. In another city, tomorrow. But today, he’d stop here, in this city. As the train got closer to the main train station, he felt oddly excited. He’d boarded early this morning, barely awake, having skipped breakfast to make it to the station on time.  Now, after few naps and brunch in the dining car, he was looking forward to being back in this metropolis where he once lived. Plus, when he stepped off the train there, he’d meet Jody. They hadn’t seen each other in ages. And the last time had gone spectacularly badly.  After that disaster, he never thought he’d see her face to face again. Parting was the culmination of a slow burn of growing apart. Like two trains heading down the same track. One after the other. Then at some point a switch is thrown and one train goes on a track veering to the left and the other veers to the right. Never to be on the same track again. Seemingly without losing any momentum. If they had just slowed down back then.  There had been a day when it was abundantly clear to him that for all the things they had in common and that used to draw them together, there were other things, maybe bigger, that pushed them apart. What he wanted out of life wasn’t what she wanted. And vice versa. Their once converging paths would not converge again. And so the moment was gone.  Going their separate ways had been painful. He moved away. Given his on-the-road career, that had been easy enough. But still painful. Though through it all, he wished her well. No animosity.  Then life got busy. Years went by. They’d reconnected by total serendipity. Then kept in touch. Now that he was traveling through the area, they were going to meet in person again. She would be at the train station. He looked forward to it. Not like you look forward to some high school reunion where it’s mostly about connecting with folks you’ve hardly seen since the last one, to impress them with all your accomplishments. No, he was truly interested in how she was doing and what she was up to now. Once they shared dreams and hopes for the future. He was curious how some of those might have played out for her. A few had come true for him. Only in quite different ways than he’d thought at the time. He leaned his head against the window pane, watching houses rushing by out there. Downtown was coming closer. The game plan was simple: He’d engineered a long layover before catching his next train. He could have made a convenient connection, with little waiting time. Instead he’d opted for the last train of the day that would get him to his ultimate destination at something like 0 dark 30. Having this ample, but limited, time in the city, provided a sense of security. He felt there were basically 3 ways the afternoon might play out: He and Jody would spend the afternoon together catching up. Then he’d get on the train this evening and continue on. They’d keep in touch as they had recently. Safe, nice. Or it would soon enough be painfully clear that there were very good reasons for why they’d drifted apart and stopped keeping in touch. In which case, there was always the option of taking an earlier train. Painful. Finally there was the option that she might not show up. In which case he wasn’t at all sure what to do. Most likely catch an earlier train and go on, chalking this one up to experience. Confusing. But he had options. Which gave him confidence ahead of the meeting.  Not like he was avoiding his responsibility for how things had fallen apart so badly back then. He planned to speak with her in some manner about that. Ask her forgiveness. Just not sure at all how to bring it up. Because it would totally not be cool to have today end with an explosion. At the same time he didn’t want to just pretend. Not be all chitchatty. Like when you run into someone you’re not close to and spend a little time together and then go away, having never gone even one inch below the surface. Not like that. The train tracks were by now joined by others. He watched a local train, full of people, on a parallel course, overtake the long distance train. Everyone on the other train seemingly busy with their phones, papers, books or whatever. Each in their own world. Or talking to someone near them. Approaches to major rail terminals always amazed him. This complete maze of tracks, with connections that seemed to allow any train coming from anywhere to get to any platform, without interfering with the others.  His train had now caught up with the local train that was slowing down. The tracks they were on edged ever closer together. The people in the other train were all totally unconcerned, but Michael couldn’t help starting to brace for what seemed like an inevitable sideswipe when the two trains must soon collide.  They didn’t though. The intercity train now pulled ahead of the local train and he wondered if maybe Jody was on that other train. She had to take a train, he assumed, to get downtown. She didn’t live down here. It also struck him that he had no idea what she might expect from this encounter. When setting up a meeting, he always asked clients the same question: What would be a win for you from our time together? That would make the time and effort worth it for you? Worked great and helped get things focused. He hadn’t asked her that question though. But he still wondered what her answer might be. For him, it would be worth it just to see her and know she was doing well.  What about rebuilding their connection to more than the casual friendship they had now? Their lives had been on separate trajectories for so long, it didn’t seem possible to build any kind of close connection out of it. To think that would be like birthday parties when he was a kid. The night before he’d imagine how things would go. If the long-haired girl would come. Exactly what everyone would say. And do. How absolutely perfectly things would go. What a wonderful time they’d all have. Then the actual party happened. Sometimes the long-haired girl came. Sometimes not. The parties generally were fun enough. Everyone had a good time. But pretty much nothing went the way he’d imagined. Because people have this habit of not behaving like you envision. That was a major shock when he was in 2nd or 3rd grade. After all, you don’t have much life experience then. It was no surprise to him as an adult. How did the line from _Princess Bride_ go? _“Get used to disappointment.”_ Life was full of disappointments. Missed opportunities. Things that didn’t work out as planned. And yet, he had a good life. He was doing okay.  The train was coming in to the platforms now. As he stood up and grabbed his backpack and suitcase, he resolved that this would be a pleasant afternoon. Then he’d be on another train this evening. They’d keep in touch off and on like before. And that would be that. Quite simple. He shuffled his way out of the train car with all the other passengers. There was a throng of people on the platform. Passengers just off the train and people who were there to meet them. People greeting each other and then together heading for the stairs down to the passageway under the tracks. Out to the main hall. Where he and Jody had agreed to meet at the info kiosk. He hadn’t been here in forever, but things were still familiar. Plus, if he was in any doubt, everyone seemed headed to the main hall and from there through one of the exits into the streets and the city. Simple. The passageway opened under a mezzanine level, meaning that at the edge of the bigger space, he had a great view of everything going on there, while somebody in the middle of the room might not see him in the shadows. His eyes fixated on the info kiosk in the center of the hall. Several people were standing or moving around it. But he didn’t see her. Doubt struck him. Maybe he wouldn’t recognize her. True, he’d seen photos. But maybe he still wouldn’t recognize her across the room. Wouldn’t that be weird? He thought about staying back here. Sometimes when meeting somebody, he’d position himself off to the side, rather than stand in the agreed-upon spot. To see without being seen. He supposed it came from reading too many Cold War spy novels. It also always felt oddly conspicuous to stand in the middle of an open space, just waiting. What are you supposed to do with yourself? But staying off to the side wasn’t a good plan today. Because what if she came, didn’t see him at the info kiosk from a distance and turned around and left? For a brief moment it struck him that maybe this whole thing was better left in the land of “what if” and email. In which case the thing to do was to go back up on the platform, find the next train out and just be done. Never come back. Except he had come this far. No turning back now. Time to go see her. So he walked out into the main hall, circling the info kiosk. Because if this was a movie, they’d end up standing on opposite sides waiting, then moving around in the same direction, still not finding each other. Not going to let that happen.  But she wasn’t there. He finally just stood still, looking at the exit doors to the city. A steady stream of people coming and going. “Michael!” It took a second to register. Someone calling his name. He turned around just in time to see a throng of people coming out of the passageway under the tracks. A local train must have just come in. She was in front, moving quickly towards him.  He hadn’t been able to figure out how to actually do that moment of meeting again: How do you greet each other? Polite handshake? Wave from a few feet apart? Stand and stare awkwardly at each other? Who speaks first? And what would he actually say? Not too much pondering when it came down to it. She was right there. Waving at him already.  “Hello!” Then they were hugging. “So glad to see you,” he heard himself saying. They let go of the embrace and were looking at each other.  “It’s good to see you. Welcome.” she said, her hand lingering on his backpack. Yes, it was definitely the right thing to come and he was glad he was there. No matter how the rest of the day might turn out. “So how have you been? How was your trip?” “Good. I came in right on time.” He shuffled his luggage. “I assume there’s are lockers or something around here?” “Sure. This way.” She started off across the big hall. He caught up with her. “Where’s a good place to go hang out for bit around here?” “I know a place on the river. The lockers will be on the way.” They were standing on the river promenade. On the way, they’d picked up some refreshments in a small café housed in an old industrial building. Right below them was a low dam where water incessantly streamed over the edge, crashing into a maelstrom of water and foam. A turbulent flow continued onwards down the river, in the direction they were slowly walking. Coming over here had been all about catching up. A barrage of nonstop conversation. All of a sudden he had remembered how much and how fast she talked. It was one of the things he’d liked about her way back. Never at a loss for words. Always knew how to express herself. Usually with grace, but making her point. She wanted to hear all about where he was going from here, when he got back on the train tonight. Soon he’d detailed out his entire schedule for this trip and the next month or two. Which was all pretty much non-stop travel. Now that he explained all that, it didn’t seem glamorous at all. Rather draining, actually. He decided to shift the focus. He had to get this in. “There’s something I need to say.” He shuffled and leaned on the railing that separated them from the rapid river. She looked at him with a slight frown, but didn’t say anything. “Jody, way back, when we went our separate ways…” He got quiet, not at all sure how to complete the sentence. He finally shook his head. “I know I hurt you back then. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?” She raised an eyebrow just a little. Sort of a quizzical thing. “Is that why you came here today?” He nodded.  “In part. Things shouldn’t have ended the way they did. Regardless of us each going our own way. I didn’t handle things well.” She gave a quick smile. “No, I suppose you didn’t. But I was not a very thoughtful person back then either.” She started walking along the path. “Quite focused on me and my plans. Screwed up a number of things rather big time.” “Still, that didn’t justify my behavior.” “Suppose not.” She turned to face him. “I forgive you.” “Thank you.” He really did feel the load he hadn’t even been aware of carrying disappear. “That makes it my turn then.” She stopped right in front of him. “I wasn’t being honest with you back then. Or myself. Will you please forgive me?” “I will and I do.” Spontaneously they both stepped forward and hugged. Once they were facing each other again, he looked her straight in the eyes. “Thanks for clearing the air.” They were farther down along the riverwalk and the waters were decidedly calmer here. “So what’s next for you?” “How long do you have?” she laughed. “I’m listening,” he said in his best imitation of Frasier Crane. “Except, I’ll actually pay attention.” She smiled and told him about working downtown for a long time. Forever was her word of choice. Corner office on the 20th floor. How she enjoyed being around the city with all its opportunities. Except so many days when done with work, all she wanted to do was go home. The kids were now grown and off to college and work.  “I’m at a point where I can really do what I want, live anywhere I want and not have to worry about anyone else.  She walked silently for a moment.  “I did the rat race for too long. I was good at it. But it cost. Which is why I’m not married any longer.” “I’m sorry,” he said automatically. She did a resigned shoulder shrug.  “Yeah, it wasn’t the plan. But it happened.” She looked up. “It’s in the past now.” She stopped at the railing, looking out over the water.  “You know what I really want to do?” She turned to face him. “I’ve always wanted a big garden. I’d love an acreage. Maybe do truck gardening.” He gave her a quizzical look. That was quite a change from a 20th floor corner office. “Somewhere out in the far suburbs. Countryside, but close enough to town that people come out there. I could keep a few horses. So many girls want to go riding. You could make a good business out of that.” They watched a couple swans and a cluster of ducks out on the river.  “So where will you be 5 years from now? She turned her head and watched for his answer. “Good question.” He really wasn’t sure what his next words would be. And yet they came. They’d made it a good number of blocks further along the river by the time he realized that he was telling her plans and thoughts he’d barely formulated to herself. Talking with her was like thinking out loud. Any other place that could be decidedly career limiting. But he felt it was safe here and now. He did corporate consulting. Management strategy. Futuring. Anticipating the next big thing before it was a thing. Sometimes he got it right. Enough that he was in demand. So many people he met congratulated him on having a dream job. All that travel. Enough frequent flyer miles he could go anywhere in the world, assuming he’d ever take a vacation. Because that was the thing. He was gone all the time. Missed out on so much. And he was still trying to sort out pieces, because he felt it was all about to come crumbling down.  One reason he’d taken the train on this business trip was of course to make the stop here to see her, but also to have time to himself. To think. To sort out who he was. What he wanted. What his next big thing was. When he realized he’d just told her all this, he clammed up. Surely that was crossing some line. It made him sound so needy. So not in control. He stopped on the path. She turned around to face him, with a look of genuine concern. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have… I didn’t mean to dump all that on you.” She made a move as if to reach out and touch him. He stepped back. “I didn’t come here to…” “Didn’t come here to what?” she asked quietly. He shook his head.  “I don’t know. It’s just… been really busy lately.” He caught himself. “Okay, forever. I think this trip was one too much.” “Or maybe just the right thing.” She walked a few steps up ahead and motioned for him to come. “Maybe we’re not so different after all. We’re both really good at what we do. But possibly that’s not what you or I should be doing at this point in life.” He wasn’t at all sure how to respond to that one. She wasn’t quite done though. “With all that futuring you do, do you just tell clients where the puck is going to be or do you actually help them skate to meet it?” As all afternoons do, this too had to end. They were back at the train station for him to catch his train. Walking up the stairs to the platform, lugging his backpack and suitcase, he felt oddly sad. It had been a really good afternoon. He was very glad he’d come. And sad to leave already. A loudspeaker crackled and a mostly intelligible voice announced that the intercity train was about to come in. Please stand back on track 3. He turned to her.  “Thanks for taking the time today. It was good to see you again.” “Likewise.” She smiled at him. “Thanks for coming.” He looked down the still empty track and then faced her. “I’m going to say Goodbye now, because when the train comes it, it will be chaos.” He nodded at all the other people there waiting for the train. “You mean they won’t hold the train for you to say a long and heartfelt Goodbye?” “Only in the movies.” He gave her a big, long hug. “Take care of you.” He held her close. “It was so good to see you again.” “You already said that,” she noted as they were again looking at each other. “But it was good. Really good.” “So you’ll be plenty busy the rest of the trip?” It was more a statement than a question. Clearly her way of changing the subject. He was glad. Things were getting rather emotional. If the train had been at the platform now, this might be when he would have bolted, jumping on through the nearest door. They stood in silence for a minute, both looking down that track. Headlights were now appearing out there, coming steadily closer. “Looks like that’s it,” he observed. “It’s okay if you go now.” “Nah, I want to watch you get on that train.” The backpack was slung over his shoulder. He grabbed his suitcase. He was ready to go as soon as the train, now rushing along the platform, finally stopped. Somehow they always seemed to come in way too fast, like they’d just keep rolling and never stop. But it did stop. Doors opened and people were getting off. New arrivals in the city. “Okay, time to leave,” he said. Because there was nothing witty left to say.  They ran along the train to find the right car for him to board. At the door, they stopped. One last, quick hug and he turned to board the train. An older couple beat him to it and were now maneuvering their suitcases on board. This could be a while. He turned to face Jody one last time. “I hope we can catch up again. Soon. I’ll have to figure out an excuse to come back this way.” “You do that. You know where I am now.” She immediately turned around and headed towards the stairs to the passageway. He looked after her. Then at the older couple still pushing and shoving on their suitcases. The train was going to leave any moment. Jody was at the top of the stairs now. Suddenly he was walking. Not around the older couple, towards the next door, but towards the stairs.  “Jody, would you pick a place for dinner?” He shouted, hoping she’d hear in spite of all the noise. “I mean real dinner. Like a date!” A whistle blew. At this point, if she turned him down, he’d be stuck here. Glancing back, he saw a conductor grab the old couple’s last suitcase, heaving it into the vestibule. Then stepping into the door opening, looking down the length of the train, while pressing the button that closed all the doors. Except the one he was standing in. “Jody.” Clearly she hadn’t heard him. Or where had she gone? He didn’t see her. Then she was there. Right in front of him. “What the… You’re missing your train!” “I know,” Michael said. “But will you have dinner with me tonight?” The conductor stood aside enough to let a lone straggler, who had just come tearing up the stairs, make a desperate dash into the train car. Then he stretched out his arm and waved. As the train started rolling, the conductor stepped into the train car and closed the door behind him. Jody looked at Michael, one eyebrow raised. “What on earth are you doing?” “Taking you to dinner, if you’ll let me.” He put down his suitcase. “I can rework things. I’ll make a call now. Get a hotel tonight and take a train first thing in the morning.” She gave him a look of amused bewilderment and he was certain he’d just done the stupidest thing ever.  Then she did that corner-of-the-mouth tiny smile she sometimes did. Mostly when she felt really clever. “Well, I do happen to know a quite nice little restaurant by the river.” --- --- title: "The effect of Coronavirus on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/the-effect-of-coronavirus-on-man-in-the-moon-marigolds/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "The coronavirus has affected everything, making life feel like a downward spiral. Like being stuck in a totally dysfunctional family, with no way out. Or is there one? A future after this pandemic?" last_modified: "2020-07-17T02:12:01+00:00" categories: [Health] --- # The effect of Coronavirus on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds Worst of times? Best of times? Definitely totally confusing. Listen enough to the cacophony of actual news, fake news, rumors, conspiracy theories and anything else flying through the ether, and your head will spin from trying to figure it out.  So many prophesies of doom and gloom. The economy tanking.  Guidelines for how we deal with the pandemic changing almost daily.  When I write this, we’ve recorded over 95,000 dead in the U.S. In a little more than 2 months. Still counting. But some folks continue to claim this is nothing but the the common cold. No worse than regular flu. Then reminding us that we don’t shut down the country over those. All the while channeling their inner Lord Farquaad: _“Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.”_ Wonder if that tune would change if they or their immediate family came down with COVVID-19?  In 5 seconds flat, I’m guessing. To get back to the title of this article, and to be perfectly honest: I don’t know that there is _any_ effect of coronavirus on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds. And yet there may well be. By extension. Because, well, everything else has been affected. So why not? The play, _[The effect of gamma rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Effect_of_Gamma_Rays_on_Man-in-the-Moon_Marigolds)_, is about a broken mother, Beatrice, and her 2 daughters, Ruth and Tillie. All barreling downhill towards another generation of dysfunctional. Except Tillie, the younger daughter, just may be finding a way to change her destiny through a science project. ## **Into a dysfunctional vortex** Kind of feels like we’re in a deteriorating vortex. Spinning downward. While hoping for a return to normal life. Because a few months ago, we were going down the paths of our normal lives. We made decisions and choices about tomorrow and the day after. Based on the, usually rather logical, assumption that things won’t be any much different a week, a month, a year from now. Life will continue to be normal. That gave us a sense of stability. At least perceived stability.  To be sure, if you’re working for “the man” (and most of us are), then you’re never really more than a paycheck away from everything changing. We just don’t think of it that way. We assume the current job will continue to be there.  For small business owners, it’s a similar thing: We count on there being a reasonably steady flow of customers. We project income for the next year, basing the projection on how the past year went and how confident we feel about the future, as well as the world’s need for our offerings. In regular times, it’s pretty easy to subscribe to a worldview that there’s enough to go around for all of us and that there’s more money where that last paycheck or invoice payment came from. ## **Then all became zero-sum** When everything goes topsy-turvy, the world suddenly appears to be of very limited resources. Meaning, for me to get the (fair) share I want and demand (and need), someone else has to go without theirs. Because limited resources! (More of my thoughts on this concept: _[Life: Zero-sum or something else?](https://claesjonasson.com/life-zero-sum-or-something-else/)_) That doesn’t tend to engender impulses for sharing. Rather gets folks angry and into hoarding mode. First it was toilet paper. Then meat and canned goods. This week at Kroger, all the Marie Callender frozen pies were cleaned out. ## **Actions and reactions** When everyone is edgy and focused on number one, it becomes more important than ever how we act and react. Maintaining social distancing doesn’t make that any easier. Because everyone and everything becomes suspicious. I go walking in the neighborhood. When others come down the sidewalk or street, it used to be you just moved over enough to not bump into each other.  Now, I’ll cross the street prior to meeting someone. Wide berth. At least 6’ apart. I’ll still wave and maybe exchange a few words, across the street.  But it _feels_ weird to walk across the street when someone else is on the sidewalk. _Feels like I’m being rude._ Which is not at all on my mind. Kroger, like other stores, instituted senior citizen hour first thing in the morning. The idea being for seniors to shop when the store was freshest, without worrying about running into “younger folks” and crowds.  Tried that a couple times, but the store was packed. Because seniors did in fact come out at that early hour. And with the occasional empty shelf, people were worried about where to find whatever they were looking for. Which slowed down movement or made it more erratic. I went back to my usual preferred grocery shopping hours: mid-morning-ish. There are just fewer people in the store then. It’s pretty much like shopping before the pandemic started, except people wear masks and gloves now.  Fewer people in the store makes it less stressful for me and I can really use less stress right now. ## **The stress of living in a pandemic** We all have more stress today. Because of all the changes. Because we worry about getting COVID-19. Or worry about the things we’d like to or should do, but can’t right now. Regardless of whether you believe COVID-19 is an existential threat or still stick to the story that it’s just the common cold (or regular flu), these are stressful days. So on one level, I understand the folks who are protesting various closings. They’re stressed out and cling to the notion that if we just reopen, go back to ‘normal’, then all will be fine. The virus will go away.  Normal in this case of course means _how life used to be_ for them up to a few months ago, before all this.  Also totally understand all the folks who have little choice but to show up to work in packed, often unsafe conditions (like meat packing plants). Because those jobs are hard and stressful on any day. So no matter who you are or what you believe about this Coronavirus thing, life is definitely more stressful now. With no clear end in sight. Which may explain why, when a beach, park or bar is opened, people flock there and crowd together. Just pretending that everything is back to ‘normal’. _Look ma, no stress!_ ## **If we can’t see it, can it still hurt?** If I were COVID-19, I would absolutely love those fresh crowds. So much energy propelling virus laden droplets into the air and so many people packed close together to land on. In all that movement, you just know hands are going to be in so many places where they shouldn’t be (like the face), increasing the likelihood of viral contamination. But you can’t see the little buggers. Which makes it easier to deny that there’s any problem at all. On the other hand, a lost paycheck because we’re under stay-at-home orders is very visible. Directly felt when bills keep coming due. Plus most people don’t have huge bank accounts or trust funds to fall back on. They just have bills piling up. Which is why we get the calls for getting people back to work. Come hell or high water. ## **Stress and fight and flight** I’ve worked with farm animals and know that stressed or spooked animals do strange things. Unexpected things.  So do wild animals. Take a flock of birds sitting in a tree. Nothing happening for a long time. A few birds come or go, but they’re mostly all just sitting there.  Now make a loud clapping noise. It’s instant takeoff. Whole flock in the air in seconds. It’s the fight or flight response kicking in. The most primal part of the brain taking over.  People don’t have wings, but respond in much the same way. When we’re stressed and frightened, we get into a mode of either pushing for confrontation or fleeing it. Usually neither one a very helpful response in our modern society. A reasoned, measured response is likely more appropriate. And helpful. You know, one where we analyze, consider options. Check facts. Think rationally. And then chart a path forward based on that process. Except the fight/flight part of the brain takes over. Unless we start asking questions. In which case our inquisitive nature (a different part of the brain) takes over. We’re no longer in survival mode. Instead we’re able to use our creative faculties to deal with what’s facing us and find a way forward. ## **Finding the way back to a future new normal** In the play, that explains how Tillie was able to get herself on a path out of the downward spiral her mother and sister were in. Through her science project.  She was asking questions, gathering verified information, fact checking, forming a plan and taking an action. Not the full, complete life-changing action. But a first step. Then another. Managed to grow her marigolds and win a prize. That approach helps get us out of the stress cloud and into being able to move forward, dealing with life in a constructive way. This pandemic will pass. Great minds are at work to understand the virus and find ways to treat and deal with it.  What won’t happen is going back to exactly what was before. The old normal. Because that’s gone forever. We can however forge a new normal which can even be better than the old one. One where we are actually prepared to deal with pandemics.  --- --- title: "Facing our giants" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/facing-our-giants/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "A lot of things in life don’t get done. They’re big. Scary. Complicated. And we don’t know how or where to get started. So we don’t face our giants. It’s safer that way. Except we miss out on so much…" last_modified: "2024-09-09T21:54:47+00:00" categories: [Life purpose] --- # Facing our giants For decades, I put off reading _War and Peace_. After all, the book is the pinnacle of unreadable books — over half a million words. Plus you just know there are going to be a boatload of characters to keep track of.  So didn’t go there. Just joked about it and kept it on the vague ‘someday’ list. After I’m done with everything else on my bucket list. Maybe. There are a lot of other giant things in life we approach in the same way. Things like: - Big work projects - Cleaning the garage to actually get a car in there - Organizing the basement - That home improvement project - Losing weight - Regular exercise  And so many more. We take a look or two and decide it’s too big or too complicated. End up doing nothing.  Which means a lot of things in life don’t get done.  In the process, we miss out on a lot of benefits. Because some giants do go away. Like missed opportunities and relationships. Gone with no second chance. Or are stuck in cluttered lives because we didn’t take action. The giants just sit there. As ongoing reminders. ## **Shortcuts** Our first approach when faced with a giant is often to look for a shortcut. For instance, instead of actually reading _War and Peace_ (or listening to the unabridged audio book), I might opt for a shortcut. Think _Cliff’s Notes_ or the Wikipedia summary. It won’t be nearly the same as the real thing. But we often feel a shortcut is good enough.  Except when it isn’t. Because there are many giants in life where there are no shortcuts. ## **Getting stuck before starting** Much of the time, our problem isn’t that we truly _can’t_ take the first step.  It’s that we overthink where to start and also worry about the steps after that. All the ones we _know_ it’s going to take to accomplish the whole big task. If I was a project manager for a construction company bidding on a new project, I definitely would need to know the tons of details involved, all the steps in the process and a myriad other things to be able to write a bid that, when accepted, will make it possible to complete said project on budget and on time.  Even with all that, all bids contain a contingency allowance. Because things happen. Life is not nearly as predictable as a carefully specced project. It’s messy and full of uncertainty. Yet we look at many situations from a project manager’s perspective — without the experience and tools of a real project manager — and so see an insurmountable obstacle. At which point we conclude we’ll never succeed and therefore never even try. Or we look at the whole big thing and conclude we need more — research, money, time — just can’t start _now_. In the end, we do nothing. We might go as far as saying things like: _I’m going to…_  or _I’ll try…_  Again, _crickets_. There’s a good reason for these famous words: > “Do or do not. There is no try.” Yoda Just talking or giving it a quick try involves no commitment. Which means we also didn’t really fail when eventually nothing happens. So we’re safe from the shame of failure. Which is what holds a lot of us back from attempting new things. ## **One small step** Michael Hyatt has said that when he starts writing a new book, the first day may just be creating some folders on his computer. Nothing big. Didn’t take a ton of research or planning. No writing involved. But it’s a start on the structure. He’s moving. When he sits down to write next time, he’ll have places to file those snippets. It’s taking a first step. A small step. Then another. And another. > “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” Lao Tzu Of course we worry that the first step will not be the right one. What if the first thing I really need to do is something way over there, instead of here? That could be the case. Or not. I won’t know until I take action. If I did start in the wrong place, I can usually pivot. Change direction.  When driving from Little Rock to Chicago, I can’t just point the car like a compass needle and go. Even as I drive in the correct general direction, there will be many places to make turns before I’m finally rolling along Lake Shore Drive. Because roads have curves and there are intersections. > “It is difficult to steer a parked car, so get moving.” Henrietta Mears When we’re moving, taking action, direction and redirection, is possible. From God, others or experience gained in the process. But if we don’t do anything, none of that will happen. That shepherd boy, David, could have taken one look at the big warrior Goliath and followed everybody’s advice: It’s impossible. Stay away. Instead, he made the choice to face the giant head on. And the rest is history. ## **Slow and steady wins the race** Dreams die when we leave them as dreams. Nobody else can move something from dream to reality for us. We have to do that ourselves. Giants are unconquerable until we take action.  Which brings us back to reading the 1,000 page book that’s been put off forever. How do we do that? ** One page at a time. For quite a while, it will seem like I’m making little or no headway. Even as I turn page after page. Then all of a sudden, when I look at the bookmark poking out, I realize I’m almost 1/3 through. That’s the steady and slow progress. So I keep going, one page at a time. The same principle of starting with one small action applies to other big tasks and projects. Once we’re deep into a task, it often becomes a self-motivating challenge. I got this far. I can do a little more and then I’ll be even further along.  ## **The value of milestones** After we pass any mid-way point, we see how there’s noticeably less and less left. The end is in sight._ Reachable._ That’s why these words of Winston Churchill, offered at a very dark time for the English and Allies, were so important: > “Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.” Winston Churchill, Speech at the Lord Mayor’s Day Luncheon, 10 November 1942 Churchill had not had opportunity to deliver much good news so far during 3 years of war. And although the Allies had won a significant victory in Africa, winning the war was still far from a sure bet. So Churchill framed this event as an important step in a long chain. But not just any step. A milestone. One of those that we keep looking back to. Later on noting how things really changed once we got to that point. With any big task or project, it’s important to find and celebrate milestones. For they are the indicators that help us see progress.  Looking at the bookmark sticking out of a closed book gives me an idea of where I’ve been, how far I’ve come and how far I have yet to go. So does reviewing milestones on a task or project. We add up all the little things we’ve done, one thing at a time. As they add up, it feels like we’ve done _something_. Which lets us look towards where we’re going and see light at the end. We can imagine what completion will feel like. We’re energized to do one more thing now. And all of a sudden there’s not that much left to do. ## **It’s now or probably never** Which brings us back to the point where we haven’t even started on that giant task or project looming ahead.  If after all this, I do nothing today, it will still look huge tomorrow. _Or even bigger._ Or I can take one small, imperfect action today. And another tomorrow. > “A good plan violently executed today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.” _General George S. Patton_ It all starts with one small step. Followed by another. But we have to take the first step. _The first action._ And when we do, the end effect can be truly impressive. **_Take that, you giants._** Another way to look at the value of small, first steps: They trigger more steps and each one can unleash a bigger one. Where the end effect is way bigger than the first step. _ ** I did read _War and Peace_. And am truly glad I did. It’s a magnificent epic that follows a number of people and their destinies in intimate ways through a period of drastic change in Russia and really all of Europe. In the end, it didn’t feel so lengthy at all. More like a good visit with old friends that you like to spend time with._ --- --- title: "There’s no place like home" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/home-theres-no-place-like-it/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Home. We live there. Leave and come back. But what does ‘home’ really mean? And what makes something or someplace ‘home’?" last_modified: "2024-09-09T21:56:33+00:00" categories: [Life purpose, Travel] --- # There’s no place like home We live somewhere while growing up. Learn to refer to it as home. A solid place that is always there. That we keep going back to. We’ll leave for school and work. But always come back. **_That’s home._** It’s a place where we can be ourselves. Which may turn out for good or bad. When we go to work or school, out among other people, we’re expected to behave in certain ways to fit in with the larger group. But at home we can relax. Do what we want to do. There’s more freedom to be me. That might be the concept of ‘home’: That little piece of the world that I control. I lived in one place all the way until I went to college. Not that way for many kids. Those first years of life might include several moves. So for them, over the years, there are multiple homes. That’s clearly a very different feeling than if you lived all your life in one place. But does someone who has moved feel less strongly about home? Not really.  > “If you go anywhere, even paradise, you will miss your home.” _Malala Yousafzai_ ## **Traveling and home** White traveling, I’ve been blessed with staying with families. It could be for a few days or longer. Of course they would refer to their residence as home. Because it was home for them.  It amazed me how quickly I fell into accepting their house as home. Kind of made sense though. Because in my traveling world, that was the stable point at that moment. Where I could leave things and come back to. Didn’t have schlep my luggage all the time. It was home and safe. I could relax and just be one of the family. Now, I didn’t pretend they were my permanent family. But they didn’t treat me as a guest either. I was one of them. Which could include helping out around the house. It was pretty awesome being welcomed in to another family and made to feel at home.  I’ve been blessed to experience that many times. ## **Where is home?** ![Basement apartment interior](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/apartment.jpg)My first apartment in America, once I made it feel a bit more like home Which brings up the question of if we can have more than one _home_. When I was in college, each summer I went back to Sweden. On landing in Europe (be it Luxembourg, Amsterdam or Frankfurt), I had a sense of home-ness. Then continued by train to Copenhagen. I’ve never actually lived in that city, but it was sure familiar territory when I arrived. Next a ferry across to Sweden and the final train ride to my hometown. Walking in the front door. _That was really home._ Within a minute, it was like I’d never been gone. At the end of summer, I made the trip back to the U.S., landing in Chicago. Being with friends there was a coming home experience. Arriving back in Iowa City, even to a house or apartment I’d never seen, but my roommates had moved into over the summer, was coming home. One minute and it was like I’d never been gone. It wasn’t that I was being untrue to one home or preferring one place over another. They equally felt like home. I belonged. They were me. > “You can have more than one home. You can carry your roots with you, and decide where they grow.” _Henning Mankell_ ## **Going back home** Now decades later, and even though I haven’t been back to where I grew up for years, that is still home in a way. Many things will have changed in town, but it will still be familiar. My life has changed in many ways, yet that place will always feel like home. I think it’s because so many formative things in my life happened there. But it’s not just the place where I lived all my growing-up years. There are other places, where I spent less time, but they at some point or other felt like home.  Going back to one of them, there’s still a feeling of connection. Still like coming home. I’ve been here before. I know what to do. Know my way around. There may be people I’ve known for a long time and who I can reconnect with very quickly, picking up right where we left off.  > “Home isn’t where you’re from, it’s where you find light when all grows dark.” _Pierce Brown, Golden Son_ ## **The most temporary of homes** It was even that way in the military. Certainly you would never accuse the army of trying to make barracks on base feel like home.  We’d be out in the middle of nowhere on tactical maneuvers. Sleeping in tents if lucky. Hurrying and scurrying all day long. Rain or shine.  In all that, you seriously looked at the barracks as home. Kept thinking how nice it would be to get back home. Even with inspection and polishing. But it was well-known routine. Better than endless marching.  > “When you’re safe at home you wish you were having an adventure; when you’re having an adventure you wish you were safe at home.”_ _ _Thornton Wilder_ ## **The meaning of home** It’s truly a big compliment and significant step when we start to view a place as home, whether we just moved to a new place or walk into a friend’s house.  It’s the feeling that you belong.  That this place is lived in. You feel the energy, care and love of this place. The personality.  It’s comfortable in the way your favorite slippers or jeans are. Just fits. You feel welcomed. Accepted. Secure. Able to relax. Whatever was going on before coming here, now everything is going to be okay. Those are all things we look for in a place to call home. We want it to be a somewhere we’ll always want to come back to, no matter where in the world we go. Every person needs a home like that. Deserves to have a place to call home. > “The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”  _Maya Angelou, All God’s Children Need Traveling Shoes_ But for some, that’s not even remotely true. ## **I live here, but it’s not home** There are places I’ve visited as a guest and distinctly felt a barrier: Couldn’t be my home. Ever. Might be perfect in an interior decorating magazine. And I hope the people who live here feel at home. Just could never be me. I’ve also lived in a few places that never felt like home. Somehow, it didn’t quite feel right to refer to the place as home. It was where I lived for a season. No permanency or commitment. No connections. Didn’t feel I quite belonged. ## **When home ceases to be home** Moving out of a place where you’ve lived, there’s that final moment stepping across the threshold for the last time. As the door clicks shut, you know that you’ll never set foot there again.  I remember the final walk-through of my mom’s apartment. She’d lived there for 20 years. My family and I visited many times and even lived with her there for a season. It truly felt like home. Was home when we were there.  Now she’d moved to another town and I was there in the empty apartment for one last check before turning in the keys.  If I closed my eyes, I could see the now bare rooms full of our family. Of mom’s things. Of life, happiness, also sadness. A lot of experiences over 20 years. All that was memory now. This place was no longer home and would never be again. To us. We’d never have any reason to come back here. I hoped whoever moved in next would find it as good a home for them as it had been for mom. For us. > “A house is made of brick and mortar, but home is made by the people who live there.” _M. K. Soni_ ## **When home is not safe** For too many people the place that should be home is anything but safe or peaceful and certainly not a place they can be themselves. Because there’s abuse going on. Or it’s unsafe to live in.  Or they’re in a shelter or under a bridge because they have no other place to go.  It’s not a place anyone will thrive. But they may be so scared or unable to act that they stay there, because it’s the only kind of home they’ve ever known. Even though it’s bad — really bad, they see no other option.  Every person deserves better than that. If daring to dream, most would dream of a home where they can be safe and happy. > “What is home? My favorite definition is “a safe place,” a place where one is free from attack, a place where one experiences secure relationships and affirmation. … The people in it do not need to be perfect; instead, they need to be honest, loving, supportive, recognizing a common humanity that makes all of us vulnerable.”  Gladys Hunt, Honey for a Child’s Heart: The Imaginative Use of Books in Family Life ![4 images: residential street, woman with tea, friends in apartment, old house front](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/could-be-home.jpg)Different aspects of home: A familiar street, being comfortable and safe, friends to do life with, a welcoming front door. ## **It’s a paradox** For most of us, the concept of home is a place that we want to come back to. Where I can be me, feel encourage and supported, recharge and be able to go out to take on the world. Home can be a physical place and people that I live with. If the above are no longer true, it would cease to be home.  When the place doesn’t reflect me anymore. When the people that made home are gone. When things have changed irrevocably. It’s possible to still feel connected to a place or people because they were important in my life at some point. Lots of memories from there. Part of what made me who I am today. Will always be home that sense. That’s the case for me with my hometown in Sweden. I have no family living there any longer. No place to walk in through the front door and proclaim that I’m home. But I still feel connected to the town. Because it’s so well-known — full of memories. ## Welcome Maybe that is the main marker of home: We have memories and make memories there. Life happens there. We had or have connections there. It’s well-known. Welcoming. Clearly that’s not a scientific concept that can be carefully reduced to a list of traits, to be collected and checked off. There’s a lot of experience, of personal connections and interactions involved. People caring for each other. In the end, home is very subjective. But so important to our well-being. Because if we don’t have a place to call home, we feel, are, estranged. Lost. Adrift on the sea of life. Home is not marked by physical boundaries or walls. It’s something we make for ourselves and each other. > “The home should be the treasure chest of living.” _Le Corbusier_ In the end, maybe the most apt way to put it still is: _Home is where the heart is._ And the best greeting we can ever receive is: _Welcome home_. --- --- title: "Morning sickness and the Coronavirus" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/morning-sickness-and-the-coronavirus/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "When there’s a problem in life, we want to find a solution. That’s natural. Part of what makes us human.\n\nThe quicker, the better. But what if there's a price…" last_modified: "2024-09-09T22:02:14+00:00" categories: [Health] --- # Morning sickness and the Coronavirus When there’s a problem in life, we want to find a solution. That’s natural. Part of what makes us human. We sometimes joke about the American way: Give me 3 (or 5 at the most) easy steps to deal with whatever ails me. _And make it quick._ So it’s no wonder that we want to find a cure for Covid-19. _Right now._ Because it’s upended life as we know it. And we just want back to _normal_. The way things used to be.  But what if in the rush to find a solution, the cure turns out to be as bad as the problem or even worse? _Where does that put us?_ ## **Meet the Müllers** _(This is a real family’s story — their names have been changed.)_ Germany, 1955.  Erika Müller was pregnant with her first baby. She was newly married to Dieter, who was quite a bit older than her. Which was not unusual at that time, given that many men had been lost in the war. They were both thrilled to start their family. The country was rebuilding and the future looked bright.  Excitement soon turned into frustration. Erika had morning sickness. Not just a little. But debilitating nausea. Many days she was unable to function at all.  Yet somehow she made it through the pregnancy and delivered a beautiful baby girl. They named her Sabine. And rejoiced to be a little family of 3. The invincible Müllers. ## Baby #2 It’s been said that the pains of labor (and presumably pregnancy) are soon forgotten once the new baby is born. That was the case for Erika too. A couple years went by and she was pregnant again. Quietly they hoped she’d do better with this pregnancy. As in no or very little morning sickness. Which didn’t turn out to be the case. However, this time, when she talked with her doctor about it, he was quite excited about a new drug that had just come on the market. Early reports were that it did wonders for alleviating that persistent nausea. Letting expectant moms feel like humans again. The new drug was so safe it was sold over-the-counter. No prescription needed. She decided to give it a try. And it worked. Erika couldn’t believe how well she did during the pregnancy this time. Hardly sick at all.  ## Puzzled Eventually she delivered another daughter. Another beautiful baby. Except for, well, she didn’t have any thumbs. 4 fingers on each hand and no thumb. And the lower arms were a little shorter. The doctor was very puzzled. He had no explanation. Other than that this just sometimes happens. Human development during the pregnancy is so complex. Who could say what might have caused this little girl to not have any thumbs? Or her arms to be a little shorter? Erika and Dieter resolved to love their new baby just the same. Named her Heike. After all, they lived in a place where they daily encountered people with war injuries. Somehow, although it was inexplicable, a little child missing thumbs on both hands did not seem like the end of the world. Erika and Dieter had always figured they’d have a big family. So 2 children would only be the start. Many conversations with friends, family and doctors later, they concluded that there was really no explanation for Heike’s deformity. After all, Sabine was perfectly healthy. Doctors told them that Heike’s deformity was an aberration. A one-time thing. _Like lightning never strikes the same place twice._ ## Baby #3 Eventually they tried again. Erika was a bit hesitant, dreading a return of morning sickness. But then again, if that were so, medicine had helped last time. This time around nausea hit her worse than ever. But medication helped. She made it through the pregnancy and delivered a baby boy. Who was severely deformed. They named him Wolfgang. Hoping that somehow a heroic name would help him make it through life. Honestly, Erika and Dieter might have given up here. Instead they brought little Wolfgang home and cared for him during what became a rather short life. Not only did he have major bodily deformities, but also severe developmental issues. It didn’t take long to realize that he would never interact like the girls or other children. After that experience they decided they wouldn’t try to have more children. Because there was clearly something wrong with one or both of them. The way they looked at it now, it was Sabine, their oldest, who was the miracle. The exception. Deformed children was what they could expect if they’d try again.  So they focused on taking care of their 2 girls. Especially since Heike needed some extra help. ## Teens By the time the girls were in their teens, Sabine was the usual teenager. Curious about life, in her mind totally ready to be an adult. Yet outwardly affecting that disinterested teenage look that says “I don’t really care much about anything”. Although she would do anything to help and protect her sister. Heike turned into an amazing human being. She was sharp. Witty. Quick. Basically not going to take any grief from anybody. She learned the hard way in school. Because kids pounce on anyone who is different.  Frankly, if you just met her casually, you might not notice anything amiss at first. She had figured out how to use her pointer finger as the missing opposable thumb and grab things like nobody’s business. Not going to be left behind. She was, as they’d say about Tigger, full of energy and fun, fun, fun. ## It wasn’t us, it was them But this isn’t just a story about the Müller family overcoming and staying together through all the challenges. Although that is a remarkable story in itself. All too many families when faced with this kind of adversity fall apart. A few years after Wolfgang was born, that wonder drug for morning sickness was finally pulled off the market. Heike and Wolfgang were not random flukes. Their deformities were caused by the wonder drug Contergan. Also known as Thalidomide. Thalidomide turned out to cause birth defects in an estimated 15,000 babies worldwide. But it was initially marketed as a perfectly safe sedative and loads of free samples given away to pregnant women. Because morning sickness was very real and they wanted a cure fast. This new drug promised that. Eventually it became clear that the makers of the drug had not done their homework. They had no reliable evidence to back up their claims that the drug was safe. Within a few years after the drug came on the market, doctors in Germany and elsewhere reported many, many cases of mild to severe nerve damage. ## Cover-up and lasting effects The drug makers continued to market the drug to pregnant women, in spite of mounting evidence of babies born with a wide range of physical and developmental deformities. It finally took regulatory action to remove the drug from the market. The wonder drug was thought to be the longed-for solution to a very real, debilitating problem. Yet it turned out the “solution” caused far worse problems. Morning sickness, as bad as it is, will eventually pass. The babies born with deformities had to live out their entire lives with those deformities.  Wolfgang didn’t live very long. Barely made it to his 10th birthday. Heike is still alive. She’s one of the lucky ones.  As they age, many thalidomide babies, now adults, find that their bodies wearing out much faster than other people’s bodies. The deformities put extra strain on joints and organs.  Heike was extremely adept at using her 4 fingers almost like if she had her thumbs there. But in the end, that put more strain on her joints and left her hands damaged. Hello arthritis and constant pain. ## Could all this have been avoided? **_Yes. _** The drug maker failed to conduct enough testing and clinical trials. Because that takes time. And they had a wonder drug on their hands. That people wanted now.  The testing and trial process also requires absolute honesty. Because there’s the possibility of failure. The promising drug might turn out to not be so promising after all. It might not actually heal the patients or the side effects might be far worse than the original illness. In which case all the work of development is sunk money. _Gone._ Once the (not thoroughly tested) drug was on the market, the makers then worked hard to hide and deny any hints that it wasn’t such a wonder drug after all. ## In the time of Coronavirus That was 60 or so years ago. What does that have to do with the new Coronavirus? Just that in Covid-19 we have a major public health problem. A virus that we don’t understand well at all. It’s wreaking havoc with our populations. Of course we want a cure as quickly as possible. A vaccine ready by yesterday. Or the day before. Or maybe it’s a drug we already have. That could work for this. Because surely if it helped with disease X, it can help with this new disease. New vaccine or existing drug: it will be the _wonder drug_. That makes everything all right. So we can get back to life as we knew it again. ## So if someone says it works, then why not just give it to everyone? Because it’s not that easy. Or quick.  So we might have a seemingly quick and easy solution that “everyone” says works. Except at best it turns out to work some of the time, while not actually killing too many patients. Or we get a solution that really works and is safe to use for the long haul. One that won’t come back to haunt us in years to come. Because now that it’s here, Covid-19 will not just go away. It will be with us for the long haul.  Just like the bubonic plague still exists today. Only it doesn’t kill massive numbers of people, because we’ve learned to understand it and have a simple, effective and safe treatment. The Thalidomide generation should teach us to not rush forward like fools where angels fear to tread.  _Note: There were very few Thalidomide babies born in the US, because the FDA steadfastly refused to approve the drug for use in the US. The damage here was because some doctors found ways around the FDA to still use it for pregnant women._ For more information about Thalidomide and what it did to a generation of babies: [A short history of Thalidomide](https://thalidomide.ca/en/what-is-thalidomide/) [1968 LIFE Magazine article about the Thalidomide generation (page 47ff)](https://books.google.com/books?id=Qz8EAAAAMBAJ&pg=PP1&dq=life+magazine+july+26+1968&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiD4P7D6-roAhVOC6wKHc0WCboQ6AEwAnoECAUQAg#v=onepage&q=life%20magazine%20july%2026%201968&f=false) --- --- title: "Potter is not selling — he’s buying" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/potter-is-not-selling-hes-buying/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "The Bailey Building & Loan. Crammed with investors who want their money. Now. Because it’s a run on the bank. George Bailey trying to calm them down.\n\nWhat does that have to do with the Coronavirus?" last_modified: "2024-09-16T00:56:59+00:00" categories: [Gratitude, Health, Journaling, Life purpose] --- # Potter is not selling — he’s buying One of my all-time favorite movies is _It’s a Wonderful Life_. A key scene features a run on the bank. Over at the Bailey Building & Loan, shareholders cram in, wanting their money. Since the bank has just closed. And they have expenses. George Bailey tells them that Henry Potter, the richest man in town, has just bought the bank. It will reopen in a week. Someone asks if Potter guaranteed the Building & Loan. George says he didn’t even ask.  George’s argument is this: We’re all panicking. Potter is not. He’s buying. On the cheap. He’ll own the entire town for next to nothing. Because he stayed cool and everyone else panicked. That’s a good argument — within limits. For at least one of the cash-starved customers, Potter’s offer of 50 cents on the dollar for shares of the Building & Loan is seriously enticing. Because it’s something _right now_. When everything is tanking. Eventually, George is able to talk his customers off the ledge and the Building & Loan ends the day with $2 in cash. Enough to not be bankrupt.  The Building & Loan is saved and because it’s saved, there’s a better future ahead for Bedford Falls. Like Potter, George also sees opportunity. Just a different kind. To Potter, the economic meltdown is a green light to enrich himself. Then he, the oligarch, will own everything. And everyone else owe him. George sees a different opportunity: Let’s stand together, look out for each other and do what’s good for all of us. It will require self-control and sacrifice now, but we will come out ahead in the long run. And we’ll control our destinies. With George’s help, they weather the Great Depression and the town is better for it. ## **Staying cool and positive in tough times** That all has become a whole lot more real lately, with the rapid spread of the Covid-19.  One day life was going on as usual. Okay, there was this Covid thing, but it was “over there” — abroad, on the coast, another state. Other states might show up red on the map, having active cases. But Arkansas was still white. No cases. Then it all changed. The first confirmed case. The dominoes started falling. One school closed. For a few days, they said. As a precaution. Then all the schools in several counties closed.  Before you knew it, the mayor instituted a curfew at night.  Oh, and there were the obligatory runs on the grocery stores. Because now is apparently the time to hoard food and toilet paper. So far that doesn’t sound like much of anything to stay positive about. Unless you know how to make toilet paper. ## **The 5 steps of grief and Covid** We’re going through a time now that is very similar to grieving. We did lose something: Life as we knew it. And instead got uncertainty. Lots of it. During the grieving process we go through several distinct stages: ### **Denial** Covid, sure, it’s that foreign thing. Way over there. We don’t do that here. Plus it’s really just the common cold. Or regular flu. And even if it gets here, I won’t get it. Others, but not me. ### **Anger** Why is my life being interrupted by this pandemic thing? It’s going to ruin me. Everything is out of control. You can’t make me stay in my house. ### **Bargaining** Playing the “what if” game. Trying to pick and choose from the effects of the outbreak to carve out a better situation for me. ### **Depression** Everything is going to hell in a handbaskst. The world is falling apart around me. I’m helpless. ### **Acceptance** Recognizing that this is the new normal for now. If we help each other, adjust and work together for the common good, we will make it through. Think listening to George Bailey. ## We’re not all at the same stage of grief Understanding these stages helps us understand our reactions and how we process news and information we get.  While there is an order to the steps, different people require different lengths of time to work through the stages. And may even get stuck on one stage or seem to entirely skip another. Which can help explain some quite conflicting positions on how to best deal with the pandemic. Add to that the fact that parts of the U.S. have been affected longer than others. Having the Covid in the immediate community is rather new in Arkansas, but California and Washington state have dealt with it for a long time by now. ## **Cultivating a healthy perspective** We’re here, now. We’ve all been affected by the Covid in some way. Some more, some less. The old normal is out the window. Many things I’m used to doing, I can’t do right now. So how do I manage? Here are 7 things that can help us cope and find a new normal (even a temporary one): ### **Gratefulness** What am I grateful for today? In the midst of everything else, what is there that’s positive? It doesn’t have to be something big. It’s often the little things that matter most. For more about perspective: [_Half full or half empty? And does it matter?_](https://claesjonasson.com/half-full-or-half-empty-and-does-it-matter/) ### **Keeping in touch** When we all need to keep physical distance, life can become isolated. So who can I call, email, text or video chat with today? We have a plethora of ways to (in the words of the old AT&T commercial) reach out and touch someone. All while maintaining the physical distance. Because we all need connection with others. ### **Create new routines** We are creatures of habit. Even while traveling or on vacation, we tend to quickly form new routines. Think of this as an opportunity to do so right here, in a familiar space. Who knows, some of the new routines may be so good, we’ll stick with them when this is all over. ### **Go outside** The sun still shines, birds sing, the wind feels good on your face. Spending time outside does wonders for soul, health and outlook on life. Just find places where you’re not around other people. Maybe try the backyard or front porch. ### **Be present** When everything is as normal, we tend to just roll along, going from one thing to another without really noticing the world around. Practice taking in the details for a change. Whether inside the house or outside. Reflect on them. Check out this post: [_Seeing vs. perceiving — how we interact with the world_](https://claesjonasson.com/seeing-vs-perceiving-how-we-interact-with-the-world/) ### **Try something new** What can I do new today? That I wouldn’t have been able to do if things were “normal”? Maybe read a book? Take an online course or training. (For a few years I’ve wanted to go to a multi-day conference, but the timing hasn’t been right to make the trip and spend the money. Because of the pandemic, the in-person conference was cancelled and its place there will be a live, online version. Yay! I can do that!) ### **Journal** Start journaling to record what you’re doing, thinking, feeling. It will help with processing everything that is changing so fast and also help in keeping this all from becoming a blur. And might become a great habit going forward. ## **Slouching towards a new normal** These are extraordinary times indeed. Not something we asked for. Or even imagined. But we’re here, it’s life in the time of Covid. It’s understandable that many just want to get back to “normal”. Meaning the way things were before the Covid. _Life as usual._ Except that is not going to happen any time soon. Certainly not by someone deciding we’ll be done and over the Covid on an arbitrary date. And just like 9/11 forever changed how we travel, it won’t be the old normal we go back to. Rather there will eventually be a new normal. But that’s still in the future. Until we get there, hang in with George Bailey for the common good. Try a few of the tips above to start building new routines, finding new meaning and purpose in life each day. --- --- title: "The little red-haired girl and the magical island" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/little-red-haired-girl-and-magical-island/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "A harbor, cranes, warehouses, industries. Now Peter was back here, to repair a ship unloader. \n\nAcross the shipping channel was an island. And memories of a magical summer long ago." last_modified: "2020-03-16T16:00:31+00:00" categories: [Fiction] --- # The little red-haired girl and the magical island Peter stepped off the long ladder and walkway he’d been climbing to get onto a small platform, somewhat precariously perched on top of a ship unloader.  This was not one of the old, traditional cranes, still standing nearby. Those would swing a scoop down into a ship’s cargo hold where they grabbed bulk goods, like potassium or rock phosphate. Then lifted up the full scoop, swung it in over land and dropped the load into a bunker. From there, a conveyor belt moved the bulk goods up to a big silo for storage. That was the old technology — noisy, dusty and rather slow. The unloader Peter stood on was their modern replacement. It worked on the Archimedes’ screw principle where you can move even water uphill by using a screw. Instead of slowly, scoop by scoop, a ship was swiftly unloaded by a huge, articulated arm that reached down into the hold to ingest the granular goods, depositing directly onto the conveyor belt for transport to the silo.  Peter looked over at the little operator’s cabin, at the end of its own boom, from where the operator could maneuver the unloader arm all around the hold, to get into every corner. With so much less dust and dirt, since this was an enclosed system. Definitely more efficient. Except today. The unloader just sat there. Silent. Which was why Peter was here: To find and correct whatever electrical problem that kept it idle. Back in electrical engineering school, they might have neglected to include that the job could some day involve sitting on top of an unloader arm, high above a dock and deep water next to it. Yet there he was.  The harbor was quiet. Except for occasional seagulls and terns circling around.  Tomorrow would be different. A 30,000 ton ship was due at first light. A ship that had to be unloaded within a limited window of time. Which meant Peter needed to find and fix the problem before then.  They could still use the old cranes, sitting there on either side of the old bunker. It would take longer. Once they did, Peter wouldn’t be able to work on the unloader, as it would be boxed in by cranes and ship. It was today or not at all. Right now he was perched on a platform at the end of the main arm of the unloader. The vertical screw itself hung down from the end of it, with the tip just a foot above the concrete of the wharf. He was deep into checking relays, circuits and wiring paths. Peeking into every electrical panel and junction box. It was a slow process narrowing down where the problem might be.   A couple times, he had gone back down to the dock to turn power back on and then climbed up to the operator’s cabin to wake up the beast. Move the main arm. Check. Move the vertical boom. Check. Actually get the screw to work. No check. Every trip up and down included climbing several ladders and walkways high up above the ground. Definitely didn’t want to fall from up here. ![wharf - ship unloader and cranes, island tip](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/unloader-and-cranes-1-1024x597.jpg)Wharf with ship unloader in front, 2 cranes and a bunker. Across the shipping channel is the northern tip of the magical island. Beyond, in the haze, is open water. He leaned back after checking yet another wiring path and junction box and looked out over the harbor. Most harbors have piers and wharves. Buildings, cranes, railroad tracks. Warehouses. Loading and unloading. A breakwater to protect the harbor from storms. This harbor was different on the last count. There was a nice, gently curved shipping channel that came in from the open sea. Or as open as it gets. He could see the Danish coastline across several miles of water.  The curved channel created one of the few natural harbors on this part of the Swedish coast. It was the remnant of a pre-historic river. But a nice, deep channel doesn’t matter without protection from storms and waves. This is where the Island came in. By nature, only a sandbank. Its highest natural point a few feet above the water. However, back in the 1700s, someone had a brilliant idea to build a fortress there, turning the mostly submerged sandbank into an island.  Extensive ramparts were built. Then peace broke out. It was eventually decided that the fortress was no longer needed. Work stopped. The stone walls remained. Forming a strange island with several little lakes. A haven for birds.  And also a haven for a small group of people who were fortunate enough to own summer cottages on the island. Most people in the city would never set foot over on the island. The part occupied by the birds was a sanctuary and off-limits much of the year. Plus you had to have a boat to get over to the small colony of cottages. Or know someone there. There was a summer when Peter was in his tweens and lived in this city. He was decidedly like Charlie Brown at that point. Yes, that Charlie Brown. Of Peanuts fame. In more ways than he wanted to recount. And there was a Lucy (actually several) in his life, always ready to knock him down if he got ideas.  Like Charlie Brown, Peter too was afflicted with the little red-haired girl. Except he was actually friends with her. Her family had a summer cottage on the island. He was a frequent visitor. It was a magical place. Just across that strip of water. On one side, city and industry. On the other, pristine gardens. Beaches for laying in the sun. The shallowest water he’d ever seen. You could walk forever out into the sea. Truly magical. And the little red-haired girl was his friend. With all the optimism of youth, he really thought she was the one. That unlike Charlie Brown, he’d succeeded in not only talking to the red-haired girl, but actually impressing her. It was a great summer. But summers end. And as so often happens in life, Peter and the red-haired girl eventually went their separate ways.  Now it was 20 some years later. Peter didn’t feel at all like Charlie Brown anymore. He’d grown up, found his niche and was good at it. Traveled around the world to install and maintain ship unloaders. His specialty was finding and fixing problems that stumped others on his team. Which is why the company had sent him here. It was the first time in many years that he was back in this city, this harbor. The cluster of cottages was still there over on the island. Just 150 yards maybe and another world. Here, industries, the push to get things done. Over there, cottages, pretty little gardens, leisure.  He hadn’t thought of the red-haired girl for a long time. But now that he was here, he wondered how things had turned out for her. And did her family still have their cottage over on the island?  The day went on. Peter had narrowed things down, but still hadn’t found the culprit. Somewhere in the literally miles of wiring on the unloader, there was a short or a faulty component. Or even worse, an intermittent problem. That was definitely a possibility. What if everything looked perfectly fine when he ran tracer tests and then under load, with real voltage and power applied, whatever the issue was kicked in and prevented things from working?  He didn’t like that possibility at all.  It would be just like Lucy holding the ball for Charlie Brown to run and kick. Promising that she’d hold it still this time. Then at the last second moving it anyway. So he’d fall flat on his face. Every time. But during setup, it all looked perfect.  Again, Peter had made his way to the end of the horizontal arm, which actually pointed diagonally up, making the walk along the walkway a bit of a climb. He was on the service platform right at the top of the joint for the vertical arm. Dug into his schematics book one more time. There must be something he was missing. And it might be right around here, where things moved during operation. Plus the motors for the screw were here. It would make sense for something to wear out here. Or cause a tiny little short. A sailboat making its way down the harbor interrupted his thoughts. It looked like it had just started from over on the island. Now it was gliding down the shipping channel, coming closer to where he was. He watched it gracefully glide through the waves. He was no sailor, but liked watching sailboats effortlessly move along the water. Though this was not so effortless. The breeze was against the sailboat, so it moved in a zig-zag pattern, tacking every so often. He knew that was how it kept moving forward, sideways into the wind, but it also made it seem about to be driven back the other way at any moment. The boat had just completed a tack and was coming diagonally across the channel towards where Peter was. Then, maybe 25 yards from this side of the channel, the sailboat began to tacked again, to move away, headed closer to the island-side. That’s when he saw her. As the sail and boom swung over, he noticed the red mane of the woman at the tiller. She was busy with the tacking process and there was one short moment that he saw her profile clearly.  There was no doubt. It was her. The little red-haired girl. Except not so little anymore. If someone had asked him, would he recognize a friend from school he hadn’t seen in over 20 years on the street, he’d have said probably not. After all, people change. Years go by. And yet, there she was. The sailboat completed the tack and was now headed diagonally away from him. At that point, the woman at the rudder turned around to look at the unloader. Peter realized it must look rather strange to see a person sitting high up on the end of the horizontal arm. He waved and wondered if she recognized him, the way he’d recognized her.  Probably not. Why would she? He was decked out in a safety vest and helmet. Plus absolutely no reason for her to expect him here today. Or any day. Their paths had gone different ways not long after the summer he’d spent visiting the island. The woman waved back and for one instant he could feel her looking straight at him. From 50-60 yards away.  A man appeared from the boat’s cabin. He gave her a quick hug and put his hand on the tiller, next to hers, helping keep the course through the choppy waters. Clearly they were enjoying their day of sailing. Peter sat there, on top of the unloader arm, watching the sailboat continue the zig-zag journey down the channel. He guessed they were heading for a marina out of sight, beyond the shipyard. Eventually the sailboat disappeared from view. He went back to troubleshooting. Suddenly again feeling like Charlie Brown. Hearing Lucy going: “You can’t do anything right, can you?”  Certainly he must have already checked this one circuit 3 or 4 times. Yet something in his gut told him to check it again. Or was he just dragging his feet, hoping the sailboat would come back through while he was still up here? He shook his head at that thought and turned on the circuit tracer one more time. This time it didn’t give him the “all is well” beep. Something wasn’t right. Another look at the schematics. This just might be it. That was it. Late in the afternoon, Peter was up in the operator’s cabin, testing the unloader. This time, everything worked. One little, intermittent short. A cable rubbed by a sharp piece of metal to sometimes cause a problem. Apparently no-one had ever run into this issue before on the unloaders. It certainly wasn’t documented. Fortunately, once he found it, it wasn’t that complicated a repair.  Everything worked. His job was done. He packed up his things and climbed down to the dock. Got everything loaded into his company van and was ready to head out. He’d stop by the harbor master’s office on the way to report that the unloader was fully operational again. They’d be ready for the ship when it came in tomorrow morning. But first, he went over and sat down on the dock, right next to the edge. Leaning his back against the wheels of the ship unloader. It had been a long day. Lots of walking and climbing. A few minutes rest would be okay before he started the drive home. After all, who knew when he’d be back in this area again? Not anytime soon. In another week, he was heading to the UK to work on the installation of one of these unloaders. And after that, there was another one in the Netherlands on his schedule. He soaked in the early evening sun and enjoyed listening to seagulls and the lapping of the water against the wharf pilings. Across the water was the island with its cottages. Still peaceful. Still magic.  It had been a great summer, that one so long ago. Fun. Friends. When he’d finally started feeling less like a bumbling Charlie Brown, always beset by Lucy, and more like his own person. Out in the shipping channel, the sailboat was coming back. No zig-zagging now. It raced along with the wind. Again he waved and the woman and the man in the boat waved back at him. For one second he almost yelled at them to come over to the wharf. It would be great to talk with her again. Nothing complicated. Just to say “Hello” and catch up a little. But even as he thought this, the boat was gliding on, past him. Moment gone.  And he realized, good so. It was okay. As it should be. He was here, in the ordinary world. She was there in the magic world. The world where Charlie Brown can actually kick the ball and score. But he was okay in the ordinary world. No, better than okay.  It had been good to see the red-haired girl again today. To see that she’d, from all appearances, come out okay. Because in truth, that little red-haired girl had been as unattainable for him as for Charlie Brown. And that was okay. Life took him down another path. He was happy with his work and his family. It was just nice, reassuring, to see that life had been good to her too.  Over on the other side of the water, the sailboat eased in to the dock and he saw the woman jump out to tie the boat.  “Take that, Lucy,” Peter said to himself as he got up and walked to the van. --- --- title: "I wanted to build a house" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/i-wanted-to-build-a-house/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Growing up, I wanted to build a house. Not just the requisite tree house or small play shed. But a real house to live in. \n\nI have no idea where the idea came from." last_modified: "2024-09-16T01:14:45+00:00" categories: [Friendship, Life purpose, Planning] --- # I wanted to build a house Growing up, I wanted to build a house. Not just the requisite tree house or small play shed. But a real house to live in.  I have no idea where the idea came from.  My parents lived in a house that my dad bought from the original owners, who had it built in the late 1920s. Dad’s approach to anything house related was to call the local plumber, electrician, contractor or handyman. Home repair was just not one of his strong suits. So clearly didn’t get the idea from him.  ## **The bricklayer built a house** But Sven, my cousin Gertie’s husband, built a house for his family. That was impressive. (Several of my cousins are about 20 years older than me, so already had families when I was still a kid.) Sven’s house looked every bit as neat, tidy and well constructed as all the other houses in the neighborhood. Of course: He was a skilled bricklayer, carpenter and builder. It’s what he did for a living all his life.  I can only imagine what that was like: Work hard on houses for others all day long and then in the evening go out to the house you’re building for yourself. More manual labor. I figure he slept well at night. > “Building your own home is about desire, fantasy. But it’s achievable; anyone can do it.” _Kevin McCloud_ ## **A new house in a new subdivision** The houses on the street I grew up on were all built in the first decades of the 20th century. But across the main road, a new subdivision was growing up. Many of my friends lived in those much newer houses. And more houses were being built there. Which is really exciting for boys: Heavy machinery, construction and power tools. Oh my! One of the building sites caught my attention. Most were traditional contractor projects. Not this one.  There was a father-son carpentry shop in town. Each day after work, the son would walk across town to his lot in the developing subdivision. I’d see him on the main road and knew it was time to follow. Because he’d be up at the construction site, building his new house well into the evening. I felt a connection because his name was also Claes. And he let me help. I was there when the hole was dug in the ground, rebar went in and concrete block basement walls were put up. Then the first floor walls. You’d think that a carpenter by trade would do stud construction. Not Claes. He was going for solid. Outer and inner walls were all brick and block. Solid construction that will stand through pretty much anything.  Just by hanging around, helping out here and there, I learned so much about the process of building a house. Now, decades later, his daughter lives in the house, which has been added on to for more space. But everything was built so solidly it will stand for generations. > “When we build, let us think that we build forever.” _John Ruskin_ ## **Non-traditional modern** In grade school I’d often bike over to my best friend’s house. His parents owned an apple orchard and greenhouses. But the really cool thing was their house. Swedes generally are a traditional lot. My friend’s house was not. It was architect designed, custom built and made the news when originally constructed. It was single level, with no basement and a flat roof. Plus south-facing walls almost entirely of glass. _Very mid-century modern._  The interior was an open floor plan. Pretty much unheard of in Sweden at that time. I loved visiting that house. It was similar to what I’d later see in the _Ideas in Houses_ features in LIFE magazine. Maybe that house was what got me interested in architecture and what a house could look like. As a teenager, I figured that one day, I’d need a place to live and would build my own house. That I’d design. I drew many floor plans and elevations, exploring what I liked. ![house plan drawings](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/house-plan-1024x597.jpg)One of the houses I drew: Designed to make the most of its location with lots of windows facing south and built into a slope to minimize northern exposure ## **The carpenter built a house** Then I went off to college. Visited friends in Illinois: [Ron and Betty](https://claesjonasson.com/expressing-gratitude/). Ron was a carpenter. And he’d built his own house. Which is probably why the floor plan seemed so perfect. Ron was still finishing a room and adding features. At the same time, the house felt like the family had lived there forever. A very pleasant, welcoming home.  Betty told me they started with a set of purchased plans that they customized to make the house just perfect for them. It worked extremely well as they raised their family in the house.  Eventually Ron and Betty retired there. I visited Betty several years after Ron had passed away. I could sense the comfort it was to her to be able to live in this house her husband had built for her. Just the way she and he wanted it. Truly a house to live a lifetime in. > “A building is not just a place to be but a way to be.” _Frank Lloyd Wright_ ## **More owner-built built houses** In college, one of my friends from church was a carpenter. Who built houses. I have no idea how many houses he built over the years. He and his wife would live in each house for a few years. Then sell it and build another. Another friend from church built a truly one-of-a-kind house, using a lot of collected and used materials. Not sure if it was economic necessity or a desire to recycle. Maybe a bit of both. He and his family moved into the house as soon as there was a shell and a room or two were mostly livable. Eventually finished it into a very nice home in an attractive area. I wasn’t surprised at all when my father-in-law, Walt, declared that he was building a house. As a pastor, he’d already managed several church construction projects through the years. And built a home for his family  years earlier. Now it was time for a new home. Diane and I got to follow the construction progress first-hand every time we visited.  There’s just something special about watching a new house take shape. From outlines on a floor and barely-there-walls to rooms becoming more defined and finished. But already, the imagination can leap forward to what this place will look like when it’s all finished and actually lived in. > “Every great building once began as a building plan. That means, sitting in that building plan on the table is a mighty structure not yet seen. It is the same with dreams.” _Israelmore Ayivor_ **_So how did things turn out for me and house building?_** ![Bare roof sheeting with sections of plywood removed to be replaced](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/roof-repair-1024x597.jpg)Putting a new roof on our 2-story house meant replacing quite a bit of the plywood sheeting that had rotted out over the years ## **I didn’t build a house** Diane and I never did build our own house. We purchased an existing house in Ames. And when we moved to Little Rock, we again purchased an existing house. Somehow the time was never right for taking on a housebuilding project on top of work and life. That doesn’t mean I haven’t done lots of construction and remodeling on those houses. Plumbing. Electrical. Framing and drywall. Flooring.  Installing a bay window and a new exit door. Cutting out and installing an egress window from our basement in Iowa, to comply with code for using the basement for sleeping.  I did build a combined potting shed and play house there as well. Still standing. Plus totally redid a patio area into a great outdoor space.  I re-roofed our current house, including getting down to bare plywood (replacing some seriously bad sections). So in a way, I have built a house. If you put all those improvements together, they would make for an almost complete house.  I even went on a missions trip one time to help turn an old city house into a church home for an Arab church in Brussels, Belgium. In all of it, the most fun memory is of the time I needed to replace drywall in our living room. Stephanie was grade school age and mighty thrilled when I gave her a hammer and told her to have at it, knocking out the drywall.  > “You can design and create, and build the most wonderful place in the world. But it takes people to make the dream a reality.” _Walt Disney_ ## **Lessons from not building a house** I had a desire to build a house. That didn’t happen, but along the way, I learned the skills anyway. So I could take on any number of projects on my own houses and to help others. In the end, nothing at all wasted.  It has also given me a great appreciation for well constructed housing. And a realization that many brand new houses are anything but. After all, the builder is going to sell it and move on to other things. Not going to live there for years to come. The houses I saw constructed by people who were going to live in them, on the other hand, were all extremely carefully designed and built. Meeting or exceeding code. It wasn’t just a building project. It was the place where the builder and their family were going to live. In some cases the rest of their lives. Would I have picked up those construction skills if I hadn’t been around people who built their own houses? I doubt it. At least not to that extent. Because I’d have been too timid to try. Thinking the project too big. But I saw what Sven, Claes, Ron and Walt did and concluded that if they could build a house, then I might be able to do a remodeling project. Even put a new roof on the house. All because I had good examples. Mentors. Even though none of them knew it at the time. They taught valuable principles just by doing what was right for them. Maybe that’s the biggest insight: We never know when we’re inspiring someone around us to learn new skills or expand their understanding of what’s possible. One definition of an expert is that he or she knows something that seems self-evident, even commonplace, to them. But that is a game changer to someone else. I’m thankful for the game changers in my life. > “We shape our buildings: Thereafter, they shape us.” _Winston Churchill_ ## **_Reflection:_** _Has there been something you always wanted to do? Thought you’d do at some point in life? How did that work out?_ _What do you know (that seems commonplace or self-evident to you) that could be a game changer to someone else?_ _How can you find ways to share that to encourage others?_ --- --- title: "Snow geese and sun dogs" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/snow-geese-and-sun-dogs/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Usually driving from Little Rock to Memphis is rather mundane. Not so this day. Fields covered in white birds. 3 suns in the sky. Was it an omen?" last_modified: "2024-11-11T00:48:20+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Snow geese and sun dogs The drive from Little Rock to Memphis is a lot of farmland, a few hills and close to Memphis, floodplain that becomes a giant lake whenever the Mississippi River floods.  Mostly you just roll along, trying to either get around clusters of semis or staying out of the way of other semi-drivers who missed their calling as Indy 500 drivers. Occasionally, you encounter something unusual along the way though. Like a couple weeks ago when Diane and I headed over to Memphis for the day. ## **The birds** Several fields along the road had huge flocks of white birds in them. Clearly those birds liked what they’d found. Since I was going 70 down the road and the fields were off in some distance, I couldn’t quite tell what kind of birds those were. My first reaction was seagulls. Except this is 100s of miles inland. Where I grew up in Sweden, when farmers tilled their fields in spring, they’d be accompanied by flocks of seagulls. Because that freshly upturned soil revealed all kinds of delicious treats, like grubs and worms.  That’s what the scene along the road to Memphis reminded me of. Except way too far inland for seagulls. Also lots more birds in each field than I ever recalled from Swedish farm fields. A few days later I happened to talk with a friend, who is also a duck hunter. When I mentioned driving to Memphis, he immediately asked if I’d seen flocks of snow geese along the way. _Bingo._ Those white birds: Massive flocks of snow geese.  ## **The rest of the story** To me the scenes with lots of birds flocking in a field looked pastoral. Nothing out of the ordinary. Except those flocks of birds are a major pest for Arkansas rice farmers. Birds descend on flooded fields to feast on young rice plants. A reasonable number of birds will not decimate a big field. Massively huge flocks can do serious damage, especially when they hang out for a long period. Think a multi-day, all-you-can-eat buffet, open around the clock. _That kind of damage._ Plus I also learned that the snow geese population has grown so large that the birds are damaging their fragile nesting areas in the arctic tundra far up in northern Canada. For that reason, it’s open season on snow geese for Arkansas hunters now. All to bring the bird population into more reasonable numbers for their habitat. ## **My 3 suns** ![Sun dogs in North Dakota](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/sun-dogs-1024x597.jpg)Sun dogs, captured in North Dakota. Quite similar to what Diane and I saw driving through Arkansas. (Except no snow on the ground.) Coming back home from Memphis towards evening, we were enjoying the last of a sunny day. Diane looked up and pointed at the sky, commenting about the rainbow. Except it hadn’t rained that particular day. And there were just cirrus clouds in the sky.  I looked in the direction she was pointing. There was a very bright spot, with a short segment of an arc displaying color shades. Bright like the sun, but not the actual sun. The sun itself was at the same height above the horizon, but farther to the left. And farther over on the other side of the actual sun, was another very bright spot. Also with a color arc.  The words came automatically to me: “That’s not a rainbow. Those are sun dogs” The last time I saw sun dogs, was on a cold, wintry day in Iowa, some 25 years ago. The weather this day didn’t seem right for them. No snow, no rain. It had been a nice, cool, but certainly not freezing day. Sunny for the most part. And yet, here we were looking at bona fide sun dogs over the horizon. It truly looks like there are 3 suns in the sky. An awe-inspiring phenomenon. No wonder that at other times in history, people encountered sun dogs and took them as a sign. ## **An omen of victory** In 1461, during the War of Roses, 2 armies were about to clash in the [Battle of Mortimer’s Cross](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Mortimer%27s_Cross), when 3 suns appeared in the sky. Clearly a sign from God. Except what did the sign mean? On one side were royal forces, loyal to King Henry VI. On the other, rebels, led by Edward of York.  The question for Edward’s followers was: Did the 3 suns mean Divine displeasure with their effort and presage their defeat?  Apparently Edward had a way with words, as he managed to interpret the 3 suns as a sign that the Holy Trinity was on his side. Bolstered by that “evidence”, the rebels went on to win the battle that day. ## **It’s just atmosphere** Understanding atmospheric conditions and light refraction, we can explain this phenomenon. Sun dogs are caused by light refractions in ice crystals in the air. Just like rainbows are caused by sunlight refracting in raindrops. Each can appear when the atmospheric and light conditions are right. That certainly removes the ominous feeling. We’re left with a pretty spectacular display in the sky. Because it’s just not every day you see 3 suns! Many people go all their lives without seeing them even once.  Of course if you don’t know anything about ice crystals and light refraction, seeing 3 suns in the sky is pretty awe inspiring. Which makes it understandable why people would interpret them as an omen. ## **Vädersolstavlan** ![vädersolstavlan, a picture of Stockholm in 1535](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/vadersolstavlan.jpg)Vädersolstavlan is the oldest known view of Stockholm, Sweden. It was painted in 1535 and has been on display in Storkyrkan (the Main Church) ever since. The original was painted by Urban Målare. The image we have today is a copy made in 1636 by Jacob Elbfas. There is in a famous painting, [Vädersolstavlan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V%C3%A4dersolstavlan) (Swedish: vädersol = sun dog), depicting a major atmospheric optical phenomenon over Stockholm in 1535. This came during a critical time in Swedish history as the relatively new King, Gustav Vasa, was breaking with the Pope and the Reformation was underway in Sweden. No wonder people saw the appearance of sun dogs and other heavenly phenomena as an omen. Although if it was a good or bad omen, might depend on which side of the issue you were on. Still, it clearly made an impression. When Sweden issued new bank notes in 1989, they put the portrait of Gustav Vasa on the 1,000 kronor note. Along with a stylized version of Vädersolstavlan. ![Swedish 1000 kronor note with sun dogs and Gustav Vasa](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/1000kronor.jpg)Swedish 1,000 kronor bank note featuring King Gustav Vasa and a stylized rendering of Vädersolstavlan, complete with the sun dogs. ## **Proximity and causality** Both these observations, snow geese overwhelming farm fields and sun dogs in the sky, left me thinking about our understanding and perception of proximity and causality. The one scene, to me, looked reasonably everyday. Certainly not threatening or like something that was causing destruction. (Although it might have, if I’d just watched Hitchcock’s _The Birds_.)  Yet, once I knew the underlying facts, what looked so innocent at first, became much more a scene of damage. I now fully understood why there’s open season on snow geese. Because when there are so many birds in a field that all you see is a white mass, it doesn’t take an advanced degree to figure out that serious damage will result. The rice crop will be nothing like what the farmer hoped for and the field was capable of, before the tender plants were ravaged. On the other hand, that magnificent display of sun dogs — 3 suns and an arc in the sky — certainly stands out. Not surprising that folks in centuries past expected dire things ahead when seeing sun dogs. Or took it as a sign of eventual victory. Except there’s no _causality_ there. Sun dogs don’t cause cataclysmic events. They’re not a sign of impending apocalypse. It’s a natural atmospheric phenomenon. But suppose you see sun dogs, never having seen them before. Then shortly thereafter something really bad happens. Wouldn’t you think that the sun dogs were a warning? Seems to make sense. Event A happend, then B happened. So we assume that A caused B. But _proximity_ doesn’t mean _causality_. In other words, just because 2 things take place close in time, doesn’t mean that one caused the other. Or that they are even connected in any way. ## **Understanding what we see** Back to the birds: I saw a scene that looked familiar and interpreted it with that filter. In Sweden when birds follow the plough in a field, they’re not doing any damage. Certainly the farmer will have no issues with them eating grubs to their heart’s content. After all, grubs cause damage to the crop that will eventually grow there. So anything the birds eat, just helps control a pest. So seeing the fields full of birds along the road, I didn’t perceive the destruction going on right before my eyes. And I knew nothing of the damage those same birds do to their nesting habitat up in arctic Canada. I had to learn that side of the story from others who were more familiar with the _whole issue_. But often we approach issues in life lacking full understanding: We see or experience _some of the issue_. Grab a few facts that kind of align with what we already believe. Then conclude we have a full understanding. Except we don’t. We just see one slice of a larger reality. The lesson of the day is about not jumping to conclusions before we have the full picture. And also being willing to adjust our opinion, when additional facts don’t support the first understanding. Plus not jumping to conclusions about what caused what. Just because things appear related or one the cause of the other, doesn’t mean it’s so. It’s all also a reminder that we live in a pretty marvelous world. One we definitely need to treasure. --- --- title: "A cemetery in Paris" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/a-cemetery-in-paris/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Carensa would so have liked to catch up with Veronica one more time. Maybe then she would have been able to break through and make some difference in her life." last_modified: "2020-02-12T01:45:55+00:00" categories: [Carensa Holt story, Fiction] --- # A cemetery in Paris Carensa would so have liked to catch up with Veronica one more time. Maybe then she would have been able to break through and make some difference in her life.  At the same time, a small voice in the back of her mind kept telling her that most likely it would have been like any of the other times they’d connected over the years: A crisis in Veronica’s life. Carensa trying to be supportive and helping her change. It would have been a fleeting meeting. One where Veronica took off as soon as the conversation got too close for comfort. Because that was how things went. Not just once. But pretty much every time they got together.  Now here she was, in a small cemetery in Paris, France. The rows of graves shadowed and surrounded by tall, ancient trees. Encircling the cemetery were streets and typically Parisian apartment buildings from 1800-something. Belle Epoche and all that.  Clearly not an area she would just have happened to wander into as a tourist. Yet here she was, looking for a familiar name on a headstone. It would not be an old one, overgrown with moss. Though there were plenty of those. The one she wanted would be just a year or so old. There weren’t many of those in this cemetery. But somehow it still made sense that it was in here. Veronica always had a flair for pulling off the things other mere mortals might only dream of. She walked down path after path, surveying the graves on either side. The busy traffic on the streets out there, on the other side of the tall trees edging the cemetery formed a contestant backdrop. One that she was not really aware of anymore. All focused on finding that tombstone.  Finally, there it was. Plain, polished granite. The dark surface still reflecting the surrounding graves. In simple, unadorned letters she read:  Veronica Giles 3/14/1956 – 7/4/2018 There is nothing new except what has been forgotten  Only as she stood in front of the headstone, did she realize she had fully expected the stone to just read “V”. Because that’s what Veronica went by all those years. At least since well before the first time Carensa visited her here in Paris, back in the summer of ’76. Back then, V was a grad student at the Sorbonne. Working on a thesis, researching the life and times of Marie Antoinette and aspects of the French Revolution. Carensa didn’t fully understand it then and it hadn’t made any much more sense later on. She figured that the quote on the headstone was something Marie Antoinette said. Or might have said. At least it wasn’t the bit about letting them eat cake. Although, Carensa wouldn’t have been surprised. Somehow that would have fit with who V was. Standing here at the grave site, she wondered why she had come. V had been her strangest friend by far. In so many ways a diametrical opposite of Carensa. V overflowed with joie de vivre and was unstoppable, perennially full of ideas. You definitely wanted her around when planning a new venture. She had all the great ideas. Because she didn’t just think out of the box. She lived out of the box. Much of the time clearly in an alternate dimension, unique to her. But it was also V who would disappear with no warning when things got too demanding. When it was time to turn those wonderful plans into reality. More than once they’d brainstormed some great project together. Only for V to then disappear. Leaving Carensa holding the bag. Having to pull it all off by herself.  Then inevitably, a month or six months later, V would reappear. As if their last conversation had been just yesterday. Except it hadn’t. And never with any explanation or even word about why she’d been incommunicado for the time in between. Carensa always felt that if she pressed, asking for an explanation, V would just disappear again. There was even that time in Chicago. Carensa was visiting her friend Paul there, exploring if she could imagine a life together with him.  V had shown up without advance notice. Just flew in to O’Hare. V claimed a crisis of epic proportions. Her life in Paris was over. The French Revolution, Marie Antoinette and V’s boyfriend Jean-Claude all be hanged. V swore that she was never going back.  Except a couple mornings later, Carensa woke up to find V gone to the airport, heading back to Paris. That affair had sparked the first major fight between Carensa and Paul. Because Carensa insisted that V could change and that she could reach her. Paul equally insisted that V was not very likely to change at all and Carensa was actually enabling her by always being there when V decided she wanted to rekindle the friendship. Paul and Carensa eventually made up. They went on to get married and have children.  Those children were grown up now. Paul was gone. Perished in 9/11.  V had popped back up again a year or so after the Chicago incident. Like always. Ready to be friends. With no questions. They’d kept in touch by occasional letters, phone calls, emails. Skype now and then. Even met briefly a few times. Always when V was passing through, on her way somewhere. Always with little or no warning. Once when Carensa was in Europe on a writing assignment. Then there was nothing. Carensa hadn’t thought much about it for several months. Because it was V. It could be a while that she didn’t hear from her. Months. Even a year or two. But eventually, she got a bit concerned. More so when emails bounced and there was nothing to be gleaned from Facebook. V had gone radio silent. Nowhere to be found. That said, Carensa was a solid researcher. The journalist in her went to work. She scoured the Internet for leads. Contacted journalist friends in Germany and France. Finally somebody found a small notice in a Parisian newspaper about an accident involving a delivery van hitting and killing a pedestrian. No name mentioned. Just that the pedestrian was an American researcher and writer living in Paris. That part had been enough to get Carensa’s attention. With a lead, even a flimsy one, it had been a relatively easy process to find more information. That slowly told her a story she didn’t want to hear. The American pedestrian was indeed Veronica Giles, aka V. She’d been hit by a delivery van when she stepped out into a busy street without looking. The inquest had ruled it a regrettable accident and no charges were filed. More research tracked down this plot in the shady cemetery as V’s final earthly resting place. The American girl who went to Paris on a lark, had landed permanently. And now Carensa was here, to say a final farewell. Of sorts. She sat down on a granite edge of the neighboring plot and looked at the headstone.  “So here we are, V.” Carensa read the simple lines for the umpteenth time. “It was always random when we got together. And never enough time.” There was just the quietness of the cemetery, with the ever-present din of traffic from the world beyond. Carensa placed the small bouquet of flowers she’d brought at the foot of the headstone.  “That time back in St. Malo, we talked long about life. About purpose. About God and faith. I asked you about where you were with God.” She shook her head slowly.  “And you replied that all that God and Jesus thing was nice. But you’d have to change too much.” “Yet, every time we met or talked, it kept coming up again. We just never moved past the ‘I’d have to change too much’ part.” “And I kept hoping, praying, that the next time we’d meet or talk would be ‘it.’ When you’d finally decide to take the step you’d put off for so long and get sorted out with God.” “There was always next time.” Carensa looked at the last date on the headstone. 7/4/2018. The irony wasn’t lost on her. V had stopped using her ‘real’ name in favor of just being ‘V’ so as to assert her independence back when she was 20-ish and sticking it to the man was really important. Carensa recalled a number of conspiracy theories that had V had always floated. Every time they met, there was some new ‘deep truth’ that V had uncovered. And then in the end she’d died on July 4. Independence Day of the country she’d turned her back on to dive deep into exploring the history of a revolution so vastly different from the struggle for independence in her country of origin. Oh, the irony. Definitely not the date V would have picked for her own death. Even so, dead she was. There would be no more conversations. So often V and Carensa meeting had ended with Carensa feeling frustrated. With a sense of failure. Like their friendship was only so deep and there was a barrier to going deeper. A barrier that Carensa had tried, again and again, to cross, to break through, to conquer. All to arrive at a deeper relationship. No matter how much V might display or express hurt, she always backed off when things got too personal. Carensa reached out and let her fingers glide over the letters on the tombstone. She felt the finality. No more conversations to be had. V was gone from earth. As Carensa slowly walked out of the cemetery, she pondered how fleeting life really is. When they were both 20-somethings chasing the tide at Mt. St. Michel, it had impressed them how old the monastery on the little island was. They sensed the centuries of history. V had been all about studying and writing about history. Yet their own lives were bound to go on forever. There was always going to be another time to talk. Another time to come together. Another time to get things right with each other. With God. With the universe. Then the clock stopped one morning on a small street in a back quarter of Paris. All it took was one step. For V time was up. Far too soon.  It was a long time that they hadn’t met. So Carensa was left wondering if V finally did get things right with God, with the universe. Between the two of them the barrier had remained. And now it was too late. Carensa felt very aware that her time was limited too. Because while she reasonably expected to live another 20 or 30 years, there was no guarantee. Grandma had been in her 90s when she passed away. Yet, she could be done tomorrow. She stopped at the entrance to the cemetery to look back at the rows of graves, shaded by gently sweeping trees where time seemed to stand still. Then she slowly turned and walked out into the bustling city of lights that pulsed on, confident of having all the time in the world. --- --- title: "On the wrong train" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/on-the-wrong-train/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "The long high speed train was at the platform. I found a perfect seat. Then doubt set in. Was it really going where I wanted to go? I started to think I was on the wrong train. That was about to leave." last_modified: "2022-08-11T00:52:11+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # On the wrong train Munich main train station. The sleek, long high speed train was at the platform. I got into one of the cars and found a seat. With no reservation, I wasn’t sure what I’d find. But this was good.  _Really good! _A single seat by a window. No one beside me. Just the aisle. I leaned back and enjoyed.  Still a few minutes until departure. That’s when doubt set in. Because I noticed a reservation display listing Nuremberg. Meaning this train was going through Nuremberg. My destination was Augsburg. Now the train might go to Nuremberg via Augsburg. But it might also use an entirely different route. Definitely doubt by now. Certainly didn’t want to be on the wrong train when it left the station. But if I got up to check the display out in the vestibule, this very nice seat would surely be claimed by someone else before I returned. In the end, uncertainty won. I ended up going out on the platform to check the big display for there. It showed the train’s final destination and key stops along the way. Right next to a clock, ticking ever closer to departure. From the sign, I concluded that this was indeed the right train. I hadn’t been crazy when getting on. First stop would be Augsburg. I got back on, just before the whistle blew. One quick look back into the car where I’d been sitting. It was of course full now.  As the train softly started to roll, I walked the other direction, into the next car to find a seat, hoping I wouldn’t have to stand the hour to Augsburg. ## **Life is a lot like a train** We start out on a path in life and hopefully it’s the right one. That leads to us a good, fulfilled life. One we can look back at and be, for the most part, happy with. But sometimes we get on the wrong train in life as well. We pursue something that looked good and that would surely take us where we wanted to go. Only to eventually find that it didn’t work out nearly as planned. Maybe wake up one day and find out we ended up where we didn’t want to go at all. Or we supported someone or something that proved to be a disaster. But it sounded good at first.  ## **Amsterdam to Cologne, but not really** I did something like that one time in Amsterdam. I was going to Cologne. Had just missed one train. The next one would be in a few hours. But there was a train for Essen and Dortmund leaving very soon.  Check mental map. Essen is north of Cologne. Not sure by how far, but a lot closer than Amsterdam. _Check._ Get on train. Only much later, as the train neared Essen, did I realize how long that journey was taking and also that Essen to Cologne is a lot farther than I remembered.  In trying to get ahead, I actually ended up behind. By the time I finally arrived in Cologne, it was clear I would have been there sooner by waiting for the later, correct train. _Major fail._ ## **Deciding the future with today’s insight** The challenge of course is that we make decisions today that will affect our lives long into the future. But we don’t know what the future holds. We only have today’s information. A friend left the job she’d been in for a good while for another job. That seemed like a good move for her and her career. It only took a week for her to realize it was a huge mistake. The new job wasn’t anything like she’d expected. At that point she had a couple choices: Stick with it, because it surely will get better. Or swallow her pride, call her old boss and ask for her job back. She did the latter. Fortunately, her former boss hired her back. Wouldn’t have ended that well for many of us. And it hadn’t really changed any of the reasons for why she was looking for a new job in the first place. Plus, a lot of the time, we don’t realize that we’re “on the wrong train” until it’s much later in the game. Like me trying to get to Cologne. So what do we do when we find out that we’re on life’s version of the wrong train? It may well feel like there’s no choice at all. Which of course there is. Just may not be easy to make a change. More so, if we’ve been going in this direction for some time. ## **4 ways we react to life** There are 4 ways we can react when we find out we’re on the wrong track in life: - Keep calm and carry on - Freak out - Get lost in regret, but change nothing of consequence - Change ### **Keep calm and carry on** This is recognizing that my life is going in a direction I don’t want it to go. But I’m not going to throw a fuss about it. I’ll simply accept that this is my lot in life and keep going. Maybe try to make the best of it. Maybe spend the rest of my life complaining about it. But mostly keep on going, because any kind of change would be futile anyway.  It’s saying that things have gone too far already and there’s no changing direction. Ever.  ### **Freak out** On realizing that life is going in the wrong direction, one response it to become unglued. Panic. Freeze up. Refuse to deal with it. It’s being unable to take any action or make any decision that could help in the current situation or even change the direction I’m going in. The problem is that life doesn’t stop while I freak out. ### **Get lost in regret, but change nothing of consequence** Knowing that my life is going in the wrong direction, I choose to focus on how much better things were back before I made that fateful, pitifully poor decision that took things in this direction. Analyze the circumstances back then inside out and over and under multiple times. All to figure out how things ended up in the current mess. And what all I could have, should have, done differently back then. Because hindsight is always 20/20. But again, life continues. Still going in the wrong direction. Plus obsessively second-guessing the decisions from back then most likely won’t help me make better decisions (or any decisions) now. ### **Change** Or when I find I’m in a place where I didn’t really want to end up, I can explore what I can do to change things. It may not be possible to totally change entirely overnight, but real, lasting change often happens one small step at a time. So there’s quite likely something I can do today to help redirect things in a more positive direction. Getting to that point, includes realizing that the future is far more important than the past. The past is already written. But we can shape the future. It’s being written fresh every day. ## **Life is uncertain** For a train trip, I can check route and timetable ahead of traveling. Plan things out. All to know I’ll end up where I want to go, when I want to be there.  Life on the other hand is quite uncertain. Which makes it more important to choose wisely. Since we can’t peek into the future and know how things will play out for sure, we must use everything we know from that past and current state of things. Then make the best decision we can. It’s also essential to keep checking how things are going. Is life’s trajectory reasonably aligned with the choice I made back there or am I going off course? Because the last thing you or I really want is to wake up one day, years down the line, and find out that we pursued all the wrong things. True, I can make changes now for the rest of my life, but at the same time, what has gone by can’t be reclaimed. _The years the locusts have eaten._ So frequent checking that we’re still doing okay and course correcting if we’re not, will help us from one day ending up in a place we totally didn’t want to go. ## **The woman on the train to…** It didn’t go so well for the lady I (and several other travelers) shared a train compartment with, from Copenhagen to Hamburg and then on towards Cologne. The trip to Hamburg was uneventful. It was evening by the time we got there. A few people in the compartment got off. Someone else came in. The woman ignored the long stop. Then the train took off again, rushing into the dark night. We were well away from the big city when the conductor came through. He checked tickets and took a long look at the lady’s ticket. “Your ticket is to Hannover. You needed to change trains in Hamburg,” he said. “This train is going to Bremen next. You are on the wrong train.” The lady got on in Copenhagen. From there until Hamburg, it was the right train. But she needed to change to another train in Hamburg to get to her destination. By now she was far off the correct path and would definitely not get where she was going that evening. She was not happy and let the conductor know so in no uncertain words. Because somehow it was his fault. Thing is, he was not an unreasonable man. He might have been inclined to let her just ride along to Bremen, the next stop.  But as the verbal abuse piled on, he pulled out his ticket book and insisted she pony up for a ticket from Hamburg to Bremen. After all, she had no ticket for the train she was on! Long after the conductor was gone, she continued muttering and no-one in the compartment was sad to see her get off at Bremen. Though I wonder if she ever made it to Hannover. That’s another thing about life: We can be on the perfectly right track for a long time. It’s easy to think that things will go on like this forever. Except there came a point in life when I needed to make a change and didn’t. And now, even though everything around looks the same, I’m not where I should be.  > “If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction.” _Dietrich Bonhoeffer_ Am I at that point ready to accept change and take _appropriate_ action? Or am I the lady in the corner, muttering about everybody else’s fault, while going further and further away from where I should be in life? --- --- title: "The one with interpretation" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/the-one-with-interpretation/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Every word we say, every action we take — they’re observed by others around us. \n\nThen interpreted for meaning. But be careful …" last_modified: "2024-11-11T15:21:46+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # The one with interpretation Every word we say, every action we take — others around us observe them.  Then interpreted for meaning.  But careful: How we communicate and understand the world is bigger than a pure transactional concept: “You give me fact A”, then I respond with any of a few possible options. To be sure, when 2 guys talk, it may seem like they’re just swapping a few facts and then call good. If asked, that may be all they admit to.  But there’s much more going on as we go through the day and interact with others.  Because that thing I did gets interpreted in very different ways by different observers. > “If you don’t give people information, they make up something to fill the void” _Carla O’Dell_ ## **All for fun or with deep social commentary?** Way back in high school, a couple friends and I made a movie. Clearly inspired by the Monty Python gang, we put our blind friend Bosse into every imaginable crazy situation around the school. Just for kicks. To make a nonsense film. We featured him ambling down hallways, swinging his white cane, looking for something that wasn’t there. Even crossing a swimming pool (fully clothed, with cane).  It was a series of short scenes, cut together with no intent to form any story or narrative. The ending shots were of our hero falling into a garbage can and then seeing sanitation workers empty garbage cans into a garbage truck. Come to think of it, even the Monty Python guys might have scratched their heads at this little film. Not so our literature teacher. He watched the film with our class. And then proceeded to explain the deep significance of this work of art. How it was a symbol of the student struggling within a confusing educational system that didn’t adequately prepare him or her for life. _Yada, yada, yada._ He went on much longer than the 5 minutes of the film. We were amazed. No, hadn’t even remotely thought of this film as a commentary on student alienation. Or anything else. Definitely didn’t make it as an allegory or social commentary. And didn’t feel that life was a meaningless struggle. The lesson I learned then and there is that everything can (and will) be interpreted. And when I create or communicate, I don’t (and can’t) control how it’s interpreted by the receiver.  I can strive to communicate clearly, but hearers will still interpret everything. That’s just part of the communication process. > “Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication. Someone isn’t listening.” _Emma Thompson_ ## **Recipient interpretation in storytelling** This interpretation process can be awesome in storytelling. Because hearers/readers/viewers interpret what they see and fill in the gaps, I don’t have to tell _everything_.  In fact, really good storytelling purposely leaves out some details. But our minds don’t like gaps. So we’ll jump in and fill in missing details. Because of that investment, I’m now connected more deeply with the story. That’s why a book or oral story may be more engaging than a movie. After all, in the movie I see everything. No gaps to fill in. Especially if the movie maker spells everything out for us.  The author might simply write: “Caroline entered the room to find herself face-to-face with Bridget.” On the movie screen, we see Caroline enter a room. We see Bridget. But we also see exactly what the room looks like. How bright or dark it is. Lots of details that help us understand more about what’s going on in the scene. And what to expect. Fewer gaps to fill in. Of course, really good storytelling in film knows that and so filmmakers choose to leave out detail. Or segments of the story. To continue with the above scene. Caroline walks over to Bridget and says, quite dramatically: “We have to talk!” Closeup of Bridget’s face. Then cut to the next scene in a different location.  Wait, our mind already imagines the serious conversation the Caroline and Bridget had. And when we next see them walking along together, we are relieved. Because obviously that conversation we didn’t hear cleared the air and settled the issue. At least for now. The story moved along, thanks to us, the viewers, accepting taking on being part of the storytelling by filling in missing information. On the other hand, if the film maker shows us every word and leaves nothing to fill in, we’re probably not engaging very deeply with our minds. Once the final credits roll, we’re ready to move on to the next flick. So far, how we interpret communication and fill in the gaps has been a good thing in that it engages us more. And connects us more deeply. > “A work survives its readers; after a hundred or two hundred years, it is read by new readers who impose on it new modes of reading and interpretation. The work survives because of these interpretations, which are, in fact, resurrections: without them, there would be no work.” _Octavio Paz_ ## **It’s not what’s said, it’s what’s not said** There’s another way that gaps in communication and our inevitable interpretation thereof are used. Let’s say a speaker says A. Hearing that, the audience interprets that to also include B and then acts on it. The speaker can of course point to the fact that he never said B.  It’s the classic exchange in every mob movie: The Godfather doesn’t _actually_ tell anyone to kill the leader of the competing family.  He merely _suggests_ that the rival needs to be taken care of. The henchmen interpret what he said and conclude this is their _clear order_ to go waste the rival kingpin. Ultimately, everybody knows what really happened and why. It’s just, the Feds won’t be able to _prove_ that The Godfather gave the order to kill his rival.  After all, he was nowhere near where the arch-rival met his demise.  At the same time, should one of The Godfather’s henchmen have _not_ acted on the unspoken order, he would have found himself demised. Nobody in the circle wondering why. Because the order was plain as day to all involved. In the end, Al Capone went down for tax evasion. Not for racketeering, murder or any of his other well-known gangster activities. > “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” _George Bernard Shaw_ ## **Why do I need to worry how others interpret what I say or do?** Okay, I’m not moving in mobster circles, so I don’t really need to worry about this? Except I do (need to worry about interpretation). Back to the top. Everything I say and do gets interpreted by those around me.  The Godfather scenario in a marriage is more like this: My spouse said something. I heard and interpreted it. Then did something that turned out quite different from what they intended.  If you’ve ever been in a relationship, or friendship, you’ve experienced this. Probably from both ends. A marriage or friendship can handle the occasional misunderstanding or incorrect interpretation. When it becomes too frequent, things will fall apart. And it may not be possible to put them back together. Because the gap has become too big.  And our interpretation of what the other says or does far overshadows what they’re really trying to say. Everyone loses. > “Communicate unto the other person that which you would want him to communicate unto you if your positions were reversed.” _Aaron Goldman_ ## **The importance of using the right words** It all comes down to clear communication and agreeing on using the right words. Messing up here can have big consequences. I recently had several conversations with a client about a couple sentences in their brand messaging. You wouldn’t think one paragraph would be such a big deal. Except since there are so few words in the 2 sentences, each one carries all the more significance. Every words carries cultural baggage that informs how we understand it. Which is why we wanted words in those sentences that will communicate well and be understood as closely as possible to what the client had in mind. Not an easy feat. But also not something we should give up on. Because if we do, words cease to have much meaning and meld into whatever the person uttering them at the moment wants them to mean.  The classic example is the official name of East Germany which was the German Democratic Republic. True, it was a portion of Germany. It was however not remotely _democratic_, being a communist dictatorship propped up by Soviet tanks. And it wasn’t really a _republic_ either. Not in the sense that most of us understand a republic. You know, with free elections and competing parties. It was entirely under the control of the communists. Yes, those in power routinely won in any elections and voter turnout was large. But, it’s not like people had a choice and there were negative consequences if you didn’t show up to vote. Ample reason to recall these immortal words: > “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” Inigo Montoya in _The Princess Bride_. There are similar redefinitions of words and institutions much closer to home. Some may be funny at first, but can become very dangerous if allowed to go unchallenged. Certainly, if my friend and I or spouse and I stop meaning the same or similar things with the words we use, that friendship or marriage won’t last very long. > Everybody believes that their reality is the real real reality” _Paul Watzlawick_ > “When people talk listen completely. Most people never listen.” _Ernest Hemingway_ ## **Active 2-way communication ** Recognizing that we all interpret words coming at us, as well as actions, should also cause us to be less quick to judge others. The other person may not at all mean what I think they meant. Or they may have interpreted my message quite differently from what I intended.  Their life experience will shape their understanding. Just like my life experience and beliefs shape my interpretation of what goes on around me. So how do we overcome the problem of being mis-interpreted? **As the speaker:** - Choose your words carefully and intentionally. Don’t use words that are likely to be misunderstood. - Ask followup questions to ensure that the other person understood and interpreted correctly. **As the listener:** - Actually listen (as in don’t daydream, multitask, or be thinking of your next comeback) - In your words, repeat back what you just heard - Ask clarifying questions In conversations that flow back and forth with both parties contributing, there is less opportunity for mis-interpretation to linger. > “Communication involves self-revelation on the part of one individual and listening on the part of another.” _Dr. Gary Chapman_ If we apply the tips above back and forth, our interaction becomes deeper and likely a lot more enjoyable.  Because now, I’m really learning not just a few facts, but more about the other person. And myself. One final thought: > “It’s important to make sure that we’re talking with each other in a way that heals, not in a way that wounds.” _Barack Obama_ --- --- title: "Movies in mid-winter" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/movies-in-mid-winter/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Blink and be totally lost in this financial shell game. When life falls apart, is there a 2nd act? Faced with a great wrong, what can one person do? A journey out of this world. Mind over matter is just a saying, or?" last_modified: "2024-09-08T22:14:34+00:00" categories: [Movies and TV] --- # Movies in mid-winter 5 movies. As usual, quite different from each other. Except maybe they’re all about thinking outside the box: - Blink and be totally lost in this financial shell game. - When life falls apart, is there a 2nd act? - Faced with a great wrong, what can one person do? - A journey out of this world. - Mind over matter is just a saying, or? Let’s dive right in: ## **The Laundromat** (2019) ![The Laundromat poster](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/laundromat.jpg) Let’s start with a biographical comedy-drama film. Although, as you get into watching the film, you’re not quite sure if you’re supposed to laugh or cry.  Meryl Streep plays a woman clearly on the wrong end of the money laundering schemes and shell companies, while all she wanted was to enjoy retirement together with her husband. There are strange things going on here, in the guise of “it’s just business” that seriously hurt individuals and businesses, while also massively benefitting those behind all the shell companies. It’s money laundering, stashing it offshore, away from any prying eyes or regulatory oversight. Throughout the film we get a primer on money laundering, offshore shell companies and the tangled webs people weave to hide their gains. The film is based on the [Panama Papers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panama_Papers) scandal. The film is engaging, entertaining and manages to clearly explain complicated concepts that us regular mortals might otherwise ignore. Because surely offshore companies in Panama or elsewhere will have no impact on my daily life…  Maybe think again! ## **Holiday in the Wild** (2019) ![Holiday in the Wild poster](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/holiday-in-the-wild.jpg) Christmas and rom-com. Worth watching? Definitely. Right after son Luke leaves for college, Kate surprises her husband Drew with plans for a second honeymoon in Zambia. Except Drew has a surprise of his own for Kate: He’s leaving her. Says he’s no longer in love with her. With her world falling apart, Kate decides to go to Africa by herself. After all, the arrangements are already made. Once there, Kate finds herself dropping the role of tourist as she by chance visits a wildlife sanctuary.  Slowly, her life finds new meaning as she discovers a cause worth fighting for and work that she is uniquely qualified for. Turns out her second act in life is maybe even better than the first. ## **Amazing Grace** (2006) ![Amazing Grace poster](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/amazing-grace.jpg) Slave trade in the British Empire was outlawed by Parliament in 1807.  That act was the culmination of a long and often bitter fight. William Wilberforce was a key player. When he considered leaving politics to study theology, he was persuaded by friends that he was doing God’s work by taking on the slave trade (a quite unpopular position at the time).  This film follows William’s long fight and the struggles along the way. For many people in the UK, the slave trade was something that happened way over there, in Africa and the West Indies. Nothing that concerned them at home. Never mind that products used daily in the UK were produced overseas by slave labor. It was thus quite eye-opening when an actual slave transport ship came to an English port and Wilberforce cleverly arranged a tour right by it to show regular people what the slave trade actually looked like. The movie takes us along on the faith and moral journey of Wilberforce and we have plenty of opportunities to wonder: What would I do? What should I do? For human trafficking is still with us. As are the effects of slavery in the U.S. ## **Apollo 11** (2019) ![Apollo 11 poster](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/apollo-11.jpg) Where were you when Apollo 11 landed on the moon? I was in Sweden, in front of a TV in the very early hours of the morning. Watching live images transmitted all the way from that bright orb in the sky. A few years ago I visited the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum where I saw the Apollo 11 command module in real life. As well as a lunar lander. It’s striking how fragile (and small) they all look. Seems incomprehensible that they could travel all the way to the moon and make a landing there. Eventually safely bringing the crew back home. The Apollo 11 documentary is a worthy celebration of a major accomplishment that, 50 years later, still is unparalleled. What makes the documentary so unique is there’s no narration. We’re hearing actual voices from the time. And all the footage is from 1969. No reenactment. No visiting the key places again, years later.  Just awesome footage of superb quality. Because apparently someone had the foresight back then to shoot documentary footage on 65mm film. We’re talking the really wide film only used on big-budget blockbusters like The Sound of Music. All that makes watching the documentary an immersive experience. It’s like being part of the anticipation and the journey all over again.  I marvel at how what started with a challenge from President John F Kennedy in 1962, became reality in under 7 years. During a turbulent time for the US and with lots of events that could easily draw all attention away from a space program. “But if I were to say, my fellow citizens, that we shall send to the moon, 240,000 miles away from the control station in Houston, a giant rocket more than 300 feet tall, the length of this football field, made of new metal alloys, some of which have not yet been invented, […] and then return it safely to earth, […] and do all this, and do it right, and do it first before this decade is out–then we must be bold.” John F Kennedy, Moon Speech, at Rice University, September 12, 1962 Bold indeed. The question is could we make something that bold happen today? Can we now as a nation set aside everything else and focus on a totally out-of-the box goal and achieve it? ## **The Theory of Everything** (2014) ![The Theory of Everything poster](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/theory-of-everything.jpg) If you are a fan of the Big Bang Theory, you will have heard of Sheldon’s great idol: Stephen Hawking. But who was this guy with an artificial voice and in a wheelchair? The Theory of everything takes us all the way back to university days when a young, though brilliant, Stephen Hawking is searching for a thesis topic that will engage him for more than a couple minutes. He also happens to run into Jane Wilde, who definitely seems to engage his mind for multiple minutes.  Before long, Stephen’s health begins to deteriorate. Muscle weakness turns into failure. After a severe fall, doctors give him 2 years to live. They also explain that the disease will not incapacitate his brain. He will continue to think, but the thoughts will be stuck inside his head as his body fails and he can’t communicate. In all this, Jane decides she wants to marry Steven. Eventually Stephen becomes wheelchair bound, yet also becomes a world-renowned physicist. Meanwhile, Jane meanwhile pulls everything together for their family and has long since given up her thesis and study goals. This is truly a film and story about going against all the odds. Coming down with a major, debilitating illness at a young age, Stephen would be forgiven for just giving up. After all, he was only supposed to live a couple more years. Instead he went on to have a family and a successful career. Though not without challenges as he and Jane eventually divorced. It’s a film that affirms the value of every human being, regardless of their physical ability. Sure, you or I may not have a superbrain as sharp as Hawking, but we can contribute in our own way. Making the world a better place.  When the doctors first give Stephen Hawking 2 years to live, there’s an (unspoken) suggestion that he just give up. Because what do studies matter? He won’t be there in a couple more years.  Instead he went on to seriously beat those odds and passed away in 2018, at the age of 76! He lived with his disease for more than 50 years! Maybe the thing that all these movies have in common is that the “out there” affects us all. Even right at home. Who knew that some offshore company you never heard of could ruin your life? Or that going on a trip by yourself to another continent could lead to you discovering who you really are and what you’re truly capable of? Surely, what goes on over there doesn’t matter, as long as we have sugar for our tea. A small group of people begged to differ and eventually changed the world. One small step for man… Away out there, on another heavenly body. A massive waste of government money or a monumental achievement? I convinced, the latter. Thinking outside-the-box at its finest. A mind that was truly “out there”, grappling with explaining the universe. In the process overcoming a debilitating disability by decades. Several things there for us to think about. And act on. We all have our own “out there”… --- --- title: "Carpe annum" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/carpe-annum/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "January. We’re still getting used to the idea of a new year. But the days are getting longer. A whole year ahead. Time to dream about things that can happen this year. Maybe a fresh start." last_modified: "2021-12-30T16:47:43+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Carpe annum The new year starts a week after Christmas and equally important, a little over a week after the winter solstice. By January 1, days are already getting longer. Which may not seem like a big deal in the southern US.   In southern Sweden (but still far below the Arctic Circle) on the Winter Solstice, sunrise is 8:35am and sunset at 3:37pm. _Ouch._ Which means that when I commuted to work there, I didn’t see my hometown in daylight all week long.  But the days are already getting longer. True, only by a few minutes so far. Even so, it’s encouraging. Brighter, longer days ahead. Also, when snow comes before Thanksgiving, it could still be around, come March. Not very likely, but could happen. Which is a bit depressing. Because that’s a long time until late March. In all that winter, with the severest winter weather most likely yet to come, it’s a mental boost that we start a new year. Because that’s _possibility_. And we’re prewired to start things and look forward. Not so much for ending and decay. We’re still getting used to the _idea_ of a new year. I have to think each time I write a date. Because it’s new. You may have had lots of things to wrap up as the old year ended. Especially if you have a business or work with a nonprofit. That dateline of 12/31 kept ticking closer. ## **Dreams and resolutions** Now all of a sudden there’s a whole year wide open in front of us. _Breathing room._ Space to spread out. Plan ahead. Dream about things that can happen this year. So we make goals and resolutions.  Somehow even on January days when the world is covered in snow and ice, there’s still a _hint_ that change is coming. Because if the sun is out, look at the icicles. There’s water dripping off them. The air is cold, but the ice is nevertheless melting. With a slow, but unstoppable, momentum. This is a great time to tackle new things. To sort out what did or didn’t happen last year. Just enough that we can do better or differently this year. Make a fresh start. Move forward. I keep a journal. On New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day, I take time to think back over the past year. What happened? How did it go? Highs? Lows? How did the year turn out, compared to what I envisioned at the beginning? It is however easy to get out of that reflective mode when the holidays are over and we go back to regular work and life. Resolutions and goals are easily forgotten, because _busy_ is here. But it’s only early January. Even late January is fine. There’s so much year ahead. Some years ago, I didn’t sit down to set goals and plan until early March! As they say, better late than never.  ## **The year will happen — plan or no** When it comes to the year ahead, having a plan is good. Because the year will happen. The days will come and the time be spent.  Having goals, I stand a better chance of things turning out good, than if I just float along. Fewer missed opportunities at the end. It doesn’t matter if we set one goal or several. Just don’t do a whole long list. 7-10 goals for the year is plenty and they need to not be things that must happen all at the same time. 3 goals at a time seems to be about our limit. Sometimes I only focus on one at a time. Because it’s that big or important. More goals doesn’t make us more successful. It just increases the likelihood that we’ll not accomplish anything. And you, and I, want to get to the end of this year feeling that it mattered. That we made a difference. Made progress. Accomplished something. Today, 2020 lies wide open ahead of us. _Carpe annum._ Seize the year. ## **Mindset for a good year** Let 2020 be a great year. Decide it’s going to be a great year. Mindset is so much of what we accomplish and who we are. Where we are going. If my mindset is that this is going to be a good year, chances are pretty good it will happen. If you read the book or saw the movie _A Good Year_, you’ll know that the eventual good year may start out as a horrible-no-good-day. The end of life as we know it. But in the end still turns out to be an awesome good year. Assuming we hang in there, through the initial challenges. Often we make resolutions, set goals and then nothing happens. Life goes back to the normal flow, which is plenty busy. The moment is gone. So choose a good year. Seek out things to focus on that reinforce that mindset. ## **The important first step** When we don’t reach a goal or even make any much progress towards it, it’s often because we missed the first step. We took no action right away. Want to do something that will cost money? Let’s say $2,000. The full amount is probably not going to just fall in your lap one day, signaling that’s the day to take action. So set aside something today. Even if it’s a small amount. Like $10 or $20. That’s seed money. Having made the decision to set a little aside today, makes it easier to add more to that tomorrow. And the day after. Eventually there will be enough to make a difference. Key is to take a first action to get movement happening. A first step. That can be built on. ## **Walking to the train station** When I lived in Sweden, every journey I went on, started with the walk to the train station. Didn’t matter if I was just taking the train 15 minutes to the city. Or an hour to the larger metro area. Or train and ferry to Copenhagen in Denmark. Or to go train hiking around Europe for a month. Or all the way to the US.  All those journeys started with a walk to the train station. My point is that the first step may feel very everyday.  Not at all special or unique. Rather like something we’ve done so many times before. Which is actually a good thing. Because it’s familiar, it’s easier to take that action and get moving. Not totally out of my comfort zone. In _The Fellowship of the Ring_, the quest starts with Frodo and Sam leaving Bag End like they’re going for a walk. All in very familiar countryside. It’s not until they cross the Brandywine River, leaving the Shire, that the journey becomes irrevocable and they’re in entirely new territory. By the time they cross the river, they already have some travel experience and are a bit tougher than when they started out. Same thing for you and me when we start out on a new project or journey. The first part will (hopefully) feel like we’ve been down this road before. That gives us confidence to keep going forward. Pretty soon, we’re in all new territory and okay with that.  May this new year be the beginning of something really great in your life._ A good year. Possibility become reality._ --- --- title: "’tis the day before Christmas…" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/tis-the-day-before-christmas/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "What does Christmas Eve (and Christmas Day) mean to you? Hurrying? Scurrying?\n\nBut what if there were no Christmas? Ever!" last_modified: "2024-11-11T15:29:44+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # ’tis the day before Christmas… _December 24._ What does Christmas Eve mean for you? The last day to cram everything in before Christmas Day is upon us? Pushing it at the office? Or are you traveling, like 100 million others in the US this holiday season? Christmas Day is tomorrow. But today is Christmas Eve. That day is a big deal in my native Sweden. Christmas Eve is when you gather for the big dinner. When Santa comes and delivers presents to the kids. (No sneaking down the chimney at night there. He shows up in person and hands out the goods.) Those clever Swedes, seeing as how Christmas Eve is the big celebration, designated the day before Christmas Eve, December 23, as _lillejulafton_ (little Christmas Eve). It’s the day when you scurry about, preparing for celebrating Christmas. Which traditionally included putting up and decorating the Christmas tree. Yep, no bringing that tree in right after Thanksgiving (not that Swedes celebrate Thanksgiving anyway). But then in Sweden, the Christmas tree and decorations will stay up until _Knut_ (January 13). ## **If there were no Christmas…** No matter when, or how, you celebrate it, Christmas is a pretty big deal for most of us. We’ve looked forward to it and counted down since at least Thanksgiving.  _And now it’s here._ What if there were no Christmas? _Ever!_ As C.S. Lewis put it in _The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe_: _“Always winter but never Christmas.” _ That’s the state of the land of Narnia when the Pevensie children first get there: The land is frozen, bleak and oppressed. In a perpetual state of fear. When the spell finally breaks, one of the first signs is Father Christmas showing up. _Change has come._ Think about that. What would our world be without Christmas? A lot less stress you might say. But that’s not all. > _“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!” _ _Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!_ ## **The reason for Christmas** > _“Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home.” _ _G.K. Chesterton, _Brave New Family All the holiday preparations aside, we do celebrate Christmas because of the birth of Jesus all those years ago, in the town of Bethlehem in Judea: So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem;the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him. and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. Gospel of Luke 2:4-7 A birth that would rock the world and change it forever. Paradoxically, that major news first broke to shepherds in the fields outside of town. No 24-hour news channel to cover it. And no tweets. > _“God goes to those who have time to hear him—and so on this cloudless night he went to simple shepherds.” _ _Max Lucado_ _**Without Christ, there’s no Christmas.**_ > _“There has been only one Christmas — the rest are anniversaries.” _ _W. J. Cameron_ > _“Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves.” _ _Eric Severeid_ ## **A bit of reflection** Because Christmas has become the biggest holiday of the year and there are so many ways to observe it, it gets confusing. As in people feeling the need to “put Christ back into Christmas” because they don’t like how the holiday is referred to or celebrated. But really, is “Merry Christmas” somehow better than “Happy Christmas”? Or how about “Happy Holidays”? (The word ‘holiday’ comes from the Old English _hāligdæg_ ‘holy day’.) > _“Want to keep Christ in Christmas? Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, forgive the guilty, welcome the unwanted, care for the ill, love your enemies, and do unto others as you would have done unto you.” _ _Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience_ > _“It’s Christmas Eve. It’s-it’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we-we-we smile a little easier, we-w-w-we-we-we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year we are the people that we always hoped we would be.”_ _Bill Murray as Frank Cross in Scrooged_ > _“Christmas is a season not only of rejoicing, but of reflection.”_ _Winston Churchill_ Yes, Winston, Christmas is definitely a time for reflection. And we’d do very well indeed to let Christmas be more than just one day. Peace and good-will to all people is right for every day of the year. ## **The gift of Christmas** > “God never gives someone a gift they are not capable of receiving. If He gives us the gift of Christmas, it is because we all have the ability to understand and receive it.” _Pope Francis_ > “How many observe Christ’s birthday! How few, His precepts!” _Benjamin Franklin_ Celebrate Christmas. Enjoy time with family and friends. Laugh, sing, be merry. And while doing so, remember the reason we’re celebrating Christmas:  For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Gospel of John 3:16 Let’s not forget the receiving part: Christ, the Son of God, came into the world bringing the gift of eternal life. We’re asked for a response: To believe in him. To put our trust and faith in him. To seek him. Which brings us back to those shepherds out in the fields of Bethlehem. When they heard the news that a Savior was born this day, they didn’t hang around debating or just go back to tending the sheep. They set off to Bethlehem to find the Savior. Having been in those hills, let me tell you, it’s no easy hike. Very steep slopes. Up and down. And surely they had to bring their herds with them, because you can’t just let sheep wander. Even so, they went and found the newborn Savior. Believing is taking action. > _“I heard the bells on Christmas Day_ _Their old, familiar carols play,_ _And wild and sweet_ _The words repeat_ _Of peace on earth, good-will to men!” _ _Henry Wadsworth Longfellow_ > “_Christmas magic is silent. You don’t hear it — you feel it. You know it. You believe it._“ _Kevin Alan Milne_ ![Bethlehem, the shepherd's field](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Shepherds-field-1024x597.jpg)The shepherds’ field, with the city of Bethlehem visible just beyond the first ridge. --- --- title: "A train commute and an umbrella" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/a-train-commute-and-an-umbrella/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "It rained that morning. Not a soft, raindrop by raindrop, rain. But rather a windy, more sideways than vertical, rain. For Martin, this day of commuting would be unlike all the other days. All because of an umbrella." last_modified: "2019-12-24T20:44:37+00:00" categories: [Fiction] --- # A train commute and an umbrella It rained that morning. Not a soft, raindrop by raindrop, rain. But rather a windy, more sideways than vertical rain.  That was an important fact, worthy of note, because it made Martin step inside the waiting room in the old brick train station. Most days, he got there just minutes before the 7:10 train arrived. Enough time to situate himself on the platform and be one of anywhere from 20 to 30 passengers peering down the track to where the headlights of an incoming train would soon show up. Today he went inside the old station building’s waiting room to escape the rain. It wasn’t jam-packed, but most of the would-be passengers were in there.  A plethora of soggy umbrellas and humidity drifting in every time the door opened made the room feel more crowded. Martin debated whether to wend his way over the one of the few empty seats or just stay standing near the exit door. Given that the train should soon be here, he chose the latter. Standing in a waiting room with strangers is unsettling. Because what to do with your hands? Where to look? Martin was still fairly new to this whole commuter game. It was early fall and only about a month earlier that he’d started taking the train into the city each morning to his new job. Then back home each evening. It was a new phase in is life of 30-something years. A woman standing near him was deep into reading her newspaper. Even though every person walking by bumped the paper and most likely made her lose her place on the page. A man standing on the other side carefully held his briefcase in one hand, while busily checking something important on his phone with the other. Though it didn’t seem that he was all that skilled at holding the phone and typing with the same hand. Martin couldn’t help but look around the room. The variety of people catching the train from here to go downtown every day fascinated him. Maybe because the crowd seemed much more diverse than he’d imagined before he started commuting. Not just the business types he’d expected. And as many women as men. There was even a mother with a couple of kids. He was jolted out of his daydreams when people around him all of a sudden stopped whatever they were doing and shuffled out the door to the platform. Into the drifting rain. Apparently the train was fast approaching. As Martin turned to follow, he noticed a woman, sitting on a bench halfway across the room. She looked up from the book she was reading. He noted her expression on her face of realizing that the train was here. Quickly she threw her things into a backpack. Next thing she was rushing towards the door.  Martin went to follow, when he saw she’d left her umbrella behind. At least he assumed it was hers. Anyone who’d been sitting near her was already gone. He started to call out after her, but she was already out in the rain. He saw the train now stopped at the platform. Without further thinking, he stepped over to the umbrella on the bench and picked it up. Then hurried out the door. Most people had already boarded the train. He caught a glimpse of the woman about to enter the next train car over and pushed his way toward her. “Miss,” he called out. “You forgot your umbrella.” She was already in the doorway of the train car as she turned around. He waved the umbrella at her. She automatically stepped back onto the platform. A couple suits with briefcases came hurrying to board the train car and he could just manage reaching the umbrella to her over the shoulder of one of them.  She took the umbrella. “Thank you!” He more read it on her lips than actually heard the words. Then she was being pushed onto the train by impatient commuters. From somewhere along the train a whistle blew. If there ever was a moment of connection, it was over now.  Martin was the last to get on, just as the doors closed. He found himself crammed in with several other people in the vestibule while the train headed towards downtown. The next morning he was at the train station just a few minutes early. For no reason. Well, maybe he wanted to see if the woman with the umbrella would be there again. It wasn’t raining today. Rather a spectacular autumn day with leaves virtually glowing with an array of reds and yellows. He scanned the people standing on the platform. Didn’t see her. Of course he wasn’t entirely sure he’d even recognize her. Everything had gone so fast yesterday. Then a quick look into the waiting room. No one in there, except a mom with a couple kids. Did she really travel downtown with her kids every day? He went back outside.  The train came in and everyone boarded. Martin waited until the whistle blew before getting on himself. Didn’t see her anywhere. It wasn’t until about a week later that one morning, while standing on the platform, as the train was coming in, he saw her again. There was no doubt. It was her. The same curly, long golden brown hair. It was another sunny fall day. No umbrella today.  She stood maybe 50 feet away, focused at her phone. Then she looked up and he realized she saw him look at her. He smiled a bit awkwardly. She flashed a smile and went back to her phone. The train was in now and everyone boarding. The next time he saw her, was on the train. He got to the station at the very last minute that morning. Ran to the nearest open door on the train that was already at the platform. Even so, he managed to find an empty seat and dropped into it.  As the train rolled out from the station, he looked up. A sea of early morning faces. Some nodding off. Most reading a paper or studying their phones. And there among them all, she was. Definitely her. Several rows away and across the aisle. He tried not to stare. Even so, the woman sitting just across the aisle, glared at him.  “What are you staring at?” she barked. He looked away. Out the window on his side at suburbs passing by. Later when he dared to look back into the train car, he caught a glimpse of umbrella woman looking in his direction from across the seat rows. She smiled and didn’t look away.  Getting off the train at the downtown terminal, he waited at the end of the platform, where it connected with the concourse. Maybe he’d see her again. Umbrella woman. He didn’t know how else to think of her. After all, the only words ever spoken between them were: “Miss, you forgot your umbrella.” And “Thanks.” Not much for getting to know each other. He saw her briefly as she came along, walking together with a man and a woman. They were engaged in an animated conversation. Suddenly he realized he knew nothing about her. She could be married with children for all he knew.  The next couple weeks, Martin made sure to get to the station right before the train was due. Didn’t want to hang around and didn’t go into the waiting room. Not even on the cold, windy and rainy mornings that there were plenty of that fall. He kept that up until it got really cold. This morning it was sleeting. Horizontal sleet. No matter how much he’d intended to wait outside, he still ended up inside the waiting room. Especially as the train was running late today. Once again standing against the wall, near the exit door. Looking out over a very filled waiting room. Thanks to all the people in there, dressed for chilly commutes, and wet weather, the indoors was hot, stifling and muggy. With all the people in there, he couldn’t even really look around the room and see if She was here. Besides it had been long enough now that most likely he wouldn’t even recognize her, all bundled up for winter. There were certainly plenty enough hats, scarves and heavy down coats in here today. Then he saw her across the crowded room. Just a glimpse of her face. She sat on a bench, squeezed in between other travelers. Without thinking, he started to move forward towards her. At that moment, the collective migration out to the platform started. Because the train was here. Moment lost. He couldn’t get across to her now. Instead he was being shuffled outside. It was only by the door on the train that he managed to step to the side for a minute and look back at the crowd. Didn’t see her. He boarded as the last person and the train left the station. Another several days went by. Martin had now started to show up a few minutes early again, without being entirely sure why. Maybe mostly because one morning he cut it so close, he came onto the platform only to see the red tail lights of the departing train already well down the track. His boss had not been amused when he finally turned up for work over an hour late. This morning he was outside, stomping his feet in the snow on the platform. It was cold. But fresh. And sunny. Really nice after several days of freezing drizzle. The train came in and he looked around as it stopped. There she was. Further down the platform, just out from the waiting room. He hadn’t realized he’d stomped his way well down the platform while waiting. Now he was already walking towards her before his mind formed any clear thoughts. She was about to get on the train when he got closer.  “Hello,” he blurted out. Not the greatest opening line of all time. He felt instantly stupid. She looked at him. “Hello yourself.” She smiled.  The doorway of a commuter train with passengers eager to board is no place for a conversation. Except maybe in some romantic movie. But this wasn’t one of those.  She had to keep moving and the moment, such as it was, was gone. He managed to push his way on. Didn’t immediately see her in the crowded vestibule. He turned his attention to the seating area. Spotted two empty seats several rows into the car. One on each side of the aisle. He quickly made his way over there and dropped his bag down onto one seat. Then he looked back in the direction he’d come and saw her by the door to the vestibule. He gestured at the empty seat across the aisle, just as a business type with briefcase and mobile phone attached to his hand tried to sit down in the still empty seat. “That seat is taken.” Martin was surprised at his own words. So apparently was the business man, who glared at him, but did move on. Then she was there. She slid into the seat and he sat down on his side. The train was already up to full speed, heading towards downtown. “Thank you,” she said. “That was nice. Thought I’d be standing all the way downtown.” “You’re welcome.” He looked at her and smiled, totally not sure what to say next. She returned the smile. “I’ve seen you at the station, off and on.” Another stupid opening line. Where did they all come from? He could kick himself. “And you actually smile occasionally.” She looked at him across the aisle.  He looked around quickly. Everyone else in the full train car seemed thoroughly engrossed in their papers, books or phones. Not a single smile.  “Yes, that.” He wasn’t sure to to continue. “Not trying to be weird or anything.” “Human maybe? A smile is a good thing.” She was smiling now. “Anyway, you rescued my umbrella that one time.” Wow, she remembered. “Yes.” He paused, not knowing what to say next. The image of her walking out of the station downtown together with those other people flashed before him. She started to pull a book out of her backpack. “I should introduce myself properly,” he finally said.  “I’m Martin.” She looked up at him, letting the still closed book rest in her lap.  “Hello, Martin. I’m Sandra. So what brings you downtown every day?”  --- --- title: "We’re all immigrants" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/were-all-immigrants/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "We’re born. Somewhere. A geographic location. Then we move. Sometimes across a border. We become immigrants." last_modified: "2024-09-16T00:59:27+00:00" categories: [History, Hope, Life purpose, Recommended] --- # We’re all immigrants We’re born. Somewhere. A geographic location. Maybe move because our parents move. Then we grow up and set out on our own. Often that’s coupled with heading off to college. Another move. Today it’s rare to find a person who was born, lived and died all within a 25 mile radius (excepting the occasional trip farther away). They do exist. But we are a mobile society. Moving 100s of miles away is not considered a big deal.  We may even move to another state. It’s not like you need an immigration permit to move from Arkansas to Texas (even if they claim to be “a whole other country”). ## **Celebrating immigrant heritage** The U.S. is a country that celebrates immigrants in many ways. Folks proudly trace their ancestry to someone who came over on the Mayflower. We have heritage festivals. Irish, Scottish, Swedish or German day. Or we proudly tell how a grandparent or great-grandparent came to this country. Often with next to nothing with them, except the desire to start fresh and build a future for themselves. I’ve taught Swedish language and culture to Americans (including a university president) who wanted to learn more about their origins in the “olde country”. Again, they were proud of their immigrant roots and heritage. While I personally don’t have any family tracing back to Ireland, Diane does and so do many of my best friends. And they’re proud of that heritage.  Yet 100 or 150 years ago, being an Irish immigrant or hailing from Irish immigrants was not seen as something to be proud of. They came in waves and got the backbreaking jobs nobody else wanted. They were often sent to live in tenement slums not fit for humans. But many already in the U.S. saw them as barely human anyway. Generally they worked hard, and found or were given opportunities. Eventually became an indispensable part of American society.  Even so, many folks were less than excited when the US eventually got its first Irish Catholic President. Because that was changing the face of America. Up until then it had been solidly white, anglo-saxon, protestant. Looking back from almost 60 years later, those concerns about a Catholic president and the Pope somehow having undue control over US politics seem almost quaint.  I seriously doubt that anyone today would want to somehow boot all people of Irish (or Italian or Eastern European) ancestry out of the U.S.  > “Remember, remember always, that all of us, and you and I especially, are descended from immigrants and revolutionists.”  Franklin D. Roosevelt ## **Moving to a new place: fitting in vs. heritage** When moving to a new place, be it in the next town over, another part of the same country or in an entirely different country, half-way around the world, most of us look for 2 things:  **To find a way to fit in**, to connect and set down roots, to make the new place “home” — a place where we feel we just belong. And will want to go back to when we are away for a time. **To preserve our heritage**. To not lose our identity or forget who we were. That sometimes takes the form of immigrants staying close together with others from the old country or culture. Often just because it’s difficult to master a new language, new ways of doing things and the very real loss of everything you were used to. The desire/need to fit in can be very much at odds with the desire/need to preserve our heritage. For some people, it’s easier to find a balance than for others. It will also depend on how different the culture the person came from is, compared to the culture here in the U.S. And that’s not even accounting for regional differences within the U.S. When I first came to the U.S., I consciously chose to not go the route of staying within my cultural heritage bubble. I could have. There were other Swedish and Scandinavian students at the University of Iowa. Could have spent all my time hanging out with them. However, I wasn’t just here to study for a degree. I’d also resolved to learn as much as I could about the country and meet Americans. Yes, it helped that I already had American friends. But none of them were in Iowa City. I was still faced with making new friends in the area where I lived. [I dove right in.](https://claesjonasson.com/i-moved-to-a-new-country/) That’s not to say that I didn’t hold on to some ways from back home, or treated my American friends to a few Swedish holiday traditions. > “A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.”  Tony Blair ## **There goes the neighborhood** It can seem like a big disruption and that the world is irrevocably changing when we get new neighbors from another culture. I grew up on a street in Sweden with all Swedes living on it. _Very traditional. Nothing ever changed._ The oddest person there was Mr. Olsson. As a young man during WW I, he emigrated to Canada to enlist so he could [fight in the Great War](https://claesjonasson.com/the-guns-fell-silent/). Because Sweden was neutral during that conflict. Eventually he came back to Sweden, settled down, had a family, operated a business and was now retired. Then the little old lady across the street passed away. Her house was sold to a family that had immigrated from Poland. They brought young kids to a street with mostly older, retired folks. And multiple cars in the driveway. _Oh my!_ The fact that their grandmother who lived with them had a number tattooed on her left arm (Concentration camp survivor) made them appear even more mysterious and foreign. Then they renovated the house and re-landscaped the yard, cutting down bushes that had been there forever. Because little old ladies don’t cut down bushes. It felt like our world was being invaded. Changed. True, they were decent people. But they were different and everyone could see how they changed the property.  Then Mr. Olsson died and his very Swedish son took over that property. He also set out to renovate, re-landscape and generally change the property. Taking a house that hadn’t been updated in decades into the modern age.  **That also changed the neighborhood. ** _**The lesson from all this is that change will come no matter what.**_ > “We have become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.”  Jimmy Carter ## **Cutting off the nose to spite the face** There is an old Swedish stand-up comedy bit where this guy is talking about how his town is being taken over by foreigners (primarily guest workers from Yugoslavia in the 1960s) and how horrible that is because they are so different. As the comedy routine goes, he and his neighbors succeed in “cleaning up” the neighborhood and restoring things to the way they’re “supposed to be.” Except, as he notes, now his wife has to travel several miles to buy bread every day. Turns out that foreigner they successfully got rid of was the local baker. So all the while the upstanding locals were working to get rid of this new person in the community, they were happy to buy and eat the bread he made, day in and day out.  ## **Immigrants start things ** In most debates about “natives” vs. “immigrants”, the very real contribution provided by those immigrants is grossly overlooked. The focus is only on the alleged negative impact. But we should be asking ourselves where we’d be without any new people at all. Things would get quite stagnant very quickly and life worse for everyone. A [recent study](https://www.newsweek.com/immigrant-founded-fortune-500-companies-us-gdp-1450498.) showed that immigrants and their children founded 45% of the U.S. Fortune 500 companies. With an annual revenue of $6.1 trillion in 2018.   Diversity promotes innovation. For fun, take a look at how many businesses were started by immigrants or their children. Companies like Apple, Amazon, AT&T, Walgreens, Greyhound. The list goes on and on. > “Our attitude towards immigration reflects our faith in the American ideal. We have always believed it possible for men and women who start at the bottom to rise as far as the talent and energy allow. Neither race nor place of birth should affect their chances.” Robert F. Kennedy ## **We’re all immigrants** I know it sounds simplistic, but in a real sense, we’re all immigrants. It’s just a matter of how far back we look. My family on dad’s side has 4 generations buried in the same cemetery in Sweden. That would seem like they were pretty solidly established in that area. But what about before then? And what about others in the family tree? Things quickly get more complex. There are hints that some of our ancestors might have came from Germany.  Besides, prior to 1658, that part of Sweden was Danish. When the whole region suddenly became part of Sweden, who was really the immigrant and who was the native? Point is: Look far enough back and we’re all immigrants. So then, why do some get to brag about it (“my ancestors came over on the Mayflower”) while others are supposed to apologize for being immigrants, even after several generations in the US? What makes us ‘not immigrants’? When we look exactly like everyone else? How we talk? Or behave? If everyone is same, that’s not a good recipe for so many reasons.  In some places, even if you’re just like everyone else, the fact that you weren’t born in that town means you’re forever the “new” person. The “outsider”. No matter how many decades you’ve lived there. _A very limiting way to look at people._ We do well to welcome energy, innovation and fresh insight, whether it’s from the next town over, the next state or from across an international border. Some generations back, we all came from somewhere else. Somewhere other than where we are now.  > “Nearly all Americans have ancestors who braved the oceans – liberty-loving risk takers in search of an ideal – the largest voluntary migrations in recorded history… Immigration is not just a link to America’s past; it’s also a bridge to America’s future.” George H.W. Bush ## _Reflection:_ _Where do you come from? Do you live in the same area as your parents grew up in? If not, what prompted you to move?_ _Did your parents or grandparents live in the same area you live in? _ _Even Jesus was an immigrant and a refugee (his family fled to Egypt to escape persecution in Judea) (Matthew 2:14-18) _ --- --- title: "Goodbye East Berlin" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/goodbye-east-berlin/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "November 9, 1989. The images I never thought I’d see: People, lots of them, by and on top of the infamous Berlin Wall. Whole sections of it coming down. It was a miracle unfolding before our eyes." last_modified: "2026-04-29T21:58:30+00:00" categories: [Berlin] --- # Goodbye East Berlin November 9, 1989. The images I never thought I’d see: People, lots of them, by and on top of the infamous Berlin Wall. Whole sections of it coming down. It was a miracle unfolding before our eyes. ## **On a train to Berlin — July, 1990** I rode the train from Cologne to Berlin overnight as I had several times before. Except this time, the border controls were gone and the train stopped in Magdeburg (in former East Germany). A guy carrying a unicycle came into the compartment I was in. It was very early morning and I just made a mental note of the unusual carry-on. Then back to sleep. Later I woke up and looked out the window when the train stopped in Potsdam, just outside Berlin. Minutes later the train was already speeding along through the forest and suburbs inside Berlin.  I thought back to prior times taking the train from Cologne to Berlin.  [![Map showing divided Germany and divided Berlin, with the Wall](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Berlin-map.png)](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Berlin-map.png)Left: Germany, divided: The Federal Republic of Germany (West Germany) and the German Democratic Republic (East Germany). The white line marks the railway transit route I traveled in 1975, via Hanover to Berlin. Right: The City of Berlin: East Berlin (Capital of the German Democratic Republic) and West Berlin, surrounded by the Wall. ## On a train to Berlin — August, 1975 Normal stops in West Germany. Then a long stop at the border at Helmstedt. Lots of fences, floodlights, armed guards, checking under the train cars to make sure no one was hiding there (like anyone would really want to escape INTO East Germany). As the train rolled on, through East Germany to perform its duty as a transit train (just passing through, thank you very much), a uniformed border police officer with a portable desk hanging on his stomach, would make the rounds. He checked everyone’s passports, added requisite stamps and inserted a paper slip, the all-important transit visa.  I always wondered what would happen if at the end of the trip (on a train that didn’t make any scheduled stops in East Germany), one didn’t have that transit visa. Probably best not to find out. As the train eventually neared the border to Berlin (there to repeat the process of inspection), the border police with his portable desk came by again. Checked passports again. Collected the little transit visa slips. German efficiency at work. I always wondered if those men _truly_ believed they were doing a very important duty to protect the Fatherland.  It was a transit train. Legally just passing through. I was in East Germany, but not really in East Germany. They could have locked the doors at the first border crossing and unlocked them at the exit one. But that was probably too simple. Plus this way, they had a record of everyone who took the train from West Berlin to West Germany. If one had any concerns about being found and dragged off the train, all one needed to do was fly out of Berlin to any point in West Germany. No transit visas or East German passport checks on the airplanes. Yes, it was a silly charade, all that checking on the trains. A way to harass people and let them know who was boss. ## Back to July, 1990 This morning, none of that had happened. Because I made my trip _after the reunification_ of Germany. _Everything had changed._ I realized just how much a few hours later. In the plaza by the ruin of the Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church, I saw the guy from the train. Doing tricks on his unicycle. Apparently donations from passersbys made the trip from Magdeburg worth it for a street performer. Free enterprise at work. ![Claes climbed part way up on the Berlin Wall, May 1971](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Berlin-Wall-1971-1024x1018.jpg)My first visit to the Berlin Wall, in May, 1971. The only time I actually climbed it. This portion of original wall shows layers of construction. First it was a fairly low wall. Next made higher and with barbed wire. Then another wall right behind it, reaching even higher. Just a few years later, this would all be replaced by pre-fabricated concrete panels with a round top. More efficient to build and much harder to climb. From either side. While this is on the West Berlin side of the Wall, the actual border line is a few feet this side of the Wall, meaning, I’m actually on East Berlin territory. ## **First sight of the Wall, May 1971** In 1971, when I visited West Berlin for the first time, I remember standing in front of the Wall, a cobbled together mess of odd construction blocks, topped with rusting barbed wire. My overarching thought was that I would not see it come down in my lifetime. The Wall had already been there for 10 years. I fully expected it to be around for many decades more. Because the communist regime was so entrenched and surely the Soviets would never give an inch here. My host family, the Haumersens, excitedly told me about how the Christmas before they’d been allowed, for the first time since the Wall went up, to for a few hours go over and visit relatives that lived a few miles away, as the crow flies. But thanks to the Wall, in another world. All that changed almost overnight on November 9, 1989. It was actually a process that took months, but the final straw came overnight. Suddenly the world was treated to video images of people climbing on top of the Wall in Berlin. Waving flags and hugging. The formerly sealed border was thrown open. _Life changed._ Another year and East Germany was history. Germany reunified. Berlin was again one city. ![Coins and note from East Germany](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/DDR-money.jpg) ## **July 1, 1990 – Currency reform** The day in July 1990 that I was there was when the currency union took effect. After World War II, West Germany created a new currency: Deutsche Mark. While East Germany created theirs: Eastern Mark. Officially the 2 currencies exchanged 1 for 1. Holding them in your hand, you could feel a difference. DM coins felt like other countries’ coins: Hefty. Like they were worth something. Eastern Mark coins weighed next to nothing, being all aluminum. Didn’t feel like money or value. Going into East Berlin as a day tourist, you were _required_ to exchange a prescribed amount into East Marks. Then on leaving, you were forbidden to take any East German currency out with you. _Use it or lose it._ Being a teen wanting souvenirs on my first trip to East Berlin in 1971, I squirreled away coins and bills in my socks and under the bottom of my shoulder bag, before going through the exit check. Obviously rather stupid. Because there’s no explaining that away if strip-searched. _But teens think they’re invincible. _Still have those souvenirs. And here I was again in Berlin, freely riding trains across the former border. Able to use regular Deutsche Marks everywhere, East or West. No more aluminum coins. I was one of the many people at Checkpoint Charlie chipping away at the remaining concrete sections of the Wall to get a few souvenirs. Enterprising vendors rented out tools for chipping. Or you could just buy a piece of the Wall from one of the display tables.  It was like going to a big party. ![Chopping pieces of the Wall at Checkpoint Charlie](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Berlin-Wall-cut-your-own.jpg)My friend Bridget chopping her very own souvenir piece of the Berlin Wall. July, 1990. ## **Bus ride in East Berlin, 1974** I was in East Berlin to see my pen pal. [Read more about that here.](https://claesjonasson.com/a-penpal-on-the-other-side/) Like other times, I crossed the border at Checkpoint Charlie. Then found a bus that would take me to where she lived. Back in West Berlin, I was used to paying the driver when getting on a bus. Or maybe a roving conductor.  Not so here. Instead there was a fare machine near the middle doors of the bus. Decidedly low tech: A wheel with compartments behind a glass front. When I dropped my fare in, it landed in one of the compartments. So everyone could see what I’d paid. But since the device didn’t actually count what I dropped in, to my western mind, this was like inviting cheating. I could drop _anything_ in there and get a ticket. Not that those aluminum coins felt worth anything much anyway. Of course it wasn’t that easy. Because everyone on the bus would see what I dropped in. And that fear of what someone else would say kept people in line. Officially this system was known as _Gesellschaftliche Fahrkartenkontrolle_ (we might call it crowdsourced ticket control).  [Here is a picture and text about the fare box (in German).](http://www.berliner-verkehrsseiten.de/Download/Tarife/Tarifwesen/Tarifwesen_1949-1992-Ost/tarifwesen_1949-1992-ost.html) East Germany survived in no small part due to this system of encouraging people to spy on each other and informing the authorities of anti-proletarian activities or attitudes. Because you didn’t want to find yourself in a reeducation camp or sent off to a remote corner of the country as punishment for saying or thinking something that wasn’t in line with the official party narrative. _Fake news at its best._ ![Berlin Alexanderplatz with Centrum department store, 1971](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Berlin-Alexanderplatz-1024x683.jpg)Alexanderplatz in East Berlin, 1971. It’s a nice day in May and plenty of people meeting and enjoying themselves in front of East Berlin’s largest department store, Centrum, that even sold imported jeans. ## **Berliner Funkturm am Alex, 1974** The incongruity of the Berlin Wall surrounding the entirety of West Berlin, sealing it off from East Berlin and East Germany was nowhere clearer than if you went up to the observation deck in the tall Fernsehturm (TV tower) at Alexanderplatz in East Berlin’s traditional city center. It was and is the tallest structure in Germany.  When I was over visiting my pen pal, her daughters took me up in the tower, proud to show off this then rather new marvel. As we stood up on the observation deck, 665 feet above the bustling city, if I looked to the west, I clearly saw the Brandenburg Gate less than 1.5 miles down the street. That was where the Wall was. Beyond that, I saw the entire West Berlin spread out. I wanted to ask the girls how it felt to be able to see what was over there and not go there. Of course I didn’t. Because I didn’t want to risk embarrassing the girls. And I had no idea who else might be listening to the conversation. What I got from the girls was excitement about the view and the technological marvel accomplished by their country. I agreed that the tower was marvelous indeed. Back down on the ground, it was time for me to head back to the West. I gave the girls all my East German money. Because I wouldn’t be allowed to take it out with me or change it back to “real money”.  ## **A restaurant in East Berlin, August 1975** I wasn’t actually there for this event. I learned about it later, from 2 of the people who were there. Independently. [I met Adis and Debbie in Berlin 1975.](https://claesjonasson.com/a-moment-that-changed-everything/) A day or two later, they were with other Americans visiting East Berlin for the day. At lunch-time, they found a local restaurant. Since the group was larger than would fit around one table, someone proceeded to pull 2 tables together.  A waiter quickly made them put the tables back the way they were originally. I’m sure no one in the group was even aware that they had broken rules about public gatherings by pulling tables together. The restaurant and the waiter could have been in trouble. The meal proceeded and at some point Adis decided to take a picture of the group. Perfectly normal thing. Because you want a memory of the day. Next thing she knew, there was a Russian soldier right in front of her. Demanding she hand over her camera to him. Because you’re not allowed to take pictures of anything military. And he and a buddy or two were at a nearby table. In uniform. Adis managed to rescue her camera, but had to give up the roll of film. With who knows what other pictures of the day and probably previous days as well. After that adventure, the group left the restaurant. Or was maybe asked to leave. Not sure which. All in all, the young people in the group were fortunate. It could just as easily have ended up with police showing up and everyone hauled off for questioning, before eventually being released and sent across the border, with an admonition never to return. No wonder people in East Berlin were careful with what they did or said anywhere. Somebody was always watching. Ready to report suspicious activity. Or just make a report to cause trouble. ## A Wall for protection [The Berlin Wall](https://claesjonasson.com/walls-and-fences-to-keep-us-apart/) was officially built to halt capitalist aggression against East Germany. In reality, it went up to stop the bleeding. Autocratic, dictatorial East Germany was dying. So many people were leaving for West Berlin daily that society couldn’t function. They had to put up the Wall or die. But the Wall divided a people with a common history. The Wall was the answer to a manufactured crisis. The leaders of East Germany wanted to stay in power by all means. Including putting up a wall to keep their own people from leaving.  **_In the end, East Germany died anyway. It just took longer. 28 years longer. _** ![Berlin: Brandenburger Tor](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Brandenburger-Tor-Christmas-1991.jpg)The Brandenburg Gate in 1991. The Gate and the plaza in front of it sat in East Berlin, the trees in the background were in West Berlin. By 1991, the Wall was gone and a Christmas market, complete with St. Nickolaus, brought life to the plaza. You could go out. You could go in. ## And then, rebirth With historical downtown Berlin all in East Berlin, West Berlin developed a new city center and areas close to the Wall became the home of Bohemians, artists and squatters in neglected tenement houses. Nobody seemed to care. Until the Wall came down. All of a sudden those backwater areas were back to being prime real estate. It wasn’t long after reunification that German government moved back to Berlin. Now the city was of interest for multinationals wanting to relocate there. It was back to being the crossroads of East and West of old. Today, if it weren’t for a paved line in the streets, you wouldn’t be able to recognize where the Wall once was or what was East Berlin and what was West Berlin. I sensed exuberance and relief on my visit in July 1990. Berliners wanted to get on with life. To find the new normal and move forward. But adjusting to that change wasn’t all easy. ![People on platform at Berlin train station](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Berlin-train-station-1024x640.jpg)Who is East? Who is West? After reunification, the city of Berlin started functioning as one city again. With vigorous new development in long neglected areas on both sides of where the Wall used to be.. ## Finding a way forward For some it was about embracing new opportunity as the city moved from being a backwater to new prominence. For others, the new, faster pace and development that changed everything they were used to was overwhelming and bewildering. In response, we got _Ostalgie_. A nostalgia for the good old days in the old East. _Maybe not so good, but at least we had jobs and knew what the world was like. _ Change is never easy. We transition from something we knew, but that is irrevocably gone, to something we don’t know (and feel we can’t control), but is coming at us whether we want it or not. Autocratic/authoritarian/repressive regimes all come with an expiration date. And presumably all subscribe to the old saying: _Apres moi, le deluge._ They don’t care for what happens to those under their control. Not while in power. And certainly not afterward. I haven’t been back in Berlin for a long time now. But I’m confident that as the communists couldn’t destroy its soul (or the Nazis before them), neither will capitalism. Nor will being thrust back to be the capital of Germany. Berlin was in so many ways the city that refused to die. And still is. The Wall on the other hand, is long gone. Except for a brick line in a street, it’s not apparent where it once went. And that is good and well. I can go up to Brandenburg Gate, which stood right on the line between East and West and step back and forth.  _“I can go out, I can go in.”_ Berlin the city is a testament that repression doesn’t ultimately work. ![Street with line marking where the Wall used to be](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Wall-marker-1024x597.jpg)All that’s left of the Wall: A pavement strip marking where the Wall used to be. (Photo: Debbie Miles Thiersch) _For more about Berlin, here are a few movies to help get an idea of life in East Berlin and the divided city:_ **The Lives of Others** _— Someone is watching over everything you do. _ **Goodbye Lenin!** _— Exploring the magnitude of change and confusion as the German Democratic Republic ceased to exist and was reunified with West Germany to be one country._ **The Spy Who Came in From the Cold** _— John Le Carré’s classic_ _Cold War novel turned into a gritty film prominently featuring the divided city. A world where no one can be trusted and everyone is expendable._ **The Tunnel** _— The Wall was built to stop people from escaping to the West. Doesn’t mean they stopped trying. At least 140 people were killed at the Wall over the years._ **[Walled in: The inner German border](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwQsTzGkbiY)** — _Video showing how the Wall worked_. _Photo of Berlin city center at night by [S](https://unsplash.com/@stewi?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)[tefan Widua](https://unsplash.com/@stewi?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/s/photos/berlin?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)_ _Other photos by Claes Jonasson, except as marked._ --- --- title: "Giving thanks — not just for one day of the year" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/giving-thanks-not-just-for-one-day-of-the-year/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Thanksgiving Day is a huge holiday in the US. But gratitude and saying “Thanks” isn’t limited to only that day." last_modified: "2022-11-22T01:39:33+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Giving thanks — not just for one day of the year I experienced a real American Thanksgiving the first fall I was in college. Didn’t even have to cook. Because a new friend from church, Greta, made sure to invite me to her family’s house for the special occasion. Growing up in southern Sweden, the larder of the entire country, I was used to good food and plenty of it, but it all paled in comparison with the Thanksgiving table I encountered. Not that I was a total stranger to a day of giving thanks: The Swedish church calendar has a Day of Thanksgiving (2nd Sunday in October). I’ve helped decorate the front of the local church with all kinds of produce, crops and fruit — the freshly harvested bounty that people have worked so hard for all year long and that will now carry everyone through the winter when fields and trees are bare.  The big dining experience in autumn in Southern Sweden is Mårten Gås (November 10, Martinmas). That tradition goes back to Catholic days, when there was a 40 day fasting season leading up to Christmas. So the meal on Martinmas was the last chance to really live it up for a while.  It was also when geese on the farm were ready for slaughter. Hence the traditional fare for Mårten Gås is roast goose. (Gås = goose in Swedish) ## **Thanksgiving Day proclaimed** Here in the US, celebrating a day of thanksgiving goes back to the founding of the country and earlier. We’ve all heard about the Pilgrims and that first Thanksgiving following the harvest after their first year in the New World. George Washington proclaimed November 26, 1789, as “a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God”. In 1863, President Abraham Lincoln, proclaimed a national day of Thanksgiving on the last Thursday of November. Whether it’s giving thanks for a rich harvest that will feed people during lean winter months, the establishment of a brand new country or the emerging victory of freedom in the midst of a bloody battle, there are lots of things to give thanks for. Not only on that one day of the year. ## **An attitude of giving thanks** At many Thanksgiving dinner tables, people go around and share one or more things they are grateful for. That’s an exercise that doesn’t come naturally to many of us. Because we’re not used to expressing gratefulness. My uncle always said: “You shouldn’t be content.” He was part of the labor movement in the 1930s where workers truly had to fight for a decent wage and ditto workweek. So to him, “being content” meant that you had given up the fight and would soon lose anything that had been gained so far. While there is truth in that perspective, if we don’t recognize the gains we’ve made and the things and people around us that have helped us, then we’ll just keep clamoring for more. Ever more, never satisfied. _Because it’s never enough. _ There are some very $$$$ rich people around who are still feverishly chasing more money, more power even in the winter of their lives. _Because he who dies with the most toys, wins._ Of course, he who dies with the most toys is still dead. _Oh, well._ During his lifetime, Paul the Apostle found himself in very diverse situations and places: > “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Paul the Apostle, _Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV)_ So there’s a balance.  [Studies](https://qz.com/1211957/how-much-money-do-people-need-to-be-happy/) indicate that earning more money only increases people’s happiness up to a point. Apparently once the household income is around $105,000, money ceases to add to the happiness. Presumably because there’s then enough to not worry about where rent or the next meal are coming from. ## **Gratitude** When I was in 5th grade, I had an “old-school” teacher. He missed no opportunity to remind us, lowly students, that one day, we’d come back and thank him for hammering all that knowledge into our puny brains. _Yeah, didn’t happen. _ But there are other teachers I’ve gone back and thanked. As well as friends who came alongside me at various points in my life and without whom I totally would not be where I am today. A few years ago, I was blessed to be able to [meet Betty again](https://claesjonasson.com/expressing-gratitude/) after over 30 years. When I first came to the US, she and her whole family took me in as another kid in the family and helped me get settled in the new country. It was a true privilege to be able to sit down with her all those years later and tell her, face to face: “Thank you.” And let her know how her and her family’s investment in me turned out.  I was doubly grateful for that meeting when Betty passed away some 6 months later.  It would have been easy to just write a note. Even easier to think a grateful thought and never actually express it. But a key part of real gratitude is that we do express it to the person or persons we are grateful to and for. So if someone has been helpful in your life, let them know. When someone lets me know how I’ve helped them, it truly inspires me to go further and help others. ## **Journal of gratitude** Do you write a journal? I did for years and then didn’t for many more years. But now I do again. Often we think of a journal as just a notation of what happened during the day. But what about writing down the things we are grateful for each day? The writing process can help me search out what I am thankful for on this very day. And there are indeed few days that there isn’t at least one thing to say thanks for. Once that’s written down, we are much less likely to forget it. Which in turn helps us frame our minds into being more grateful in life and what faces us. ## **Gratitude is not a panacea** I’m not saying that finding things in life to be grateful for should mean that we ignore things that are wrong and unjust. Quite the contrary. _Because_ we are thankful for good things we have received or experienced, we’re motivated to help others around us enjoy similar blessings. For instance, if I value receiving a living wage for work I do, then that will encourage me to support every worker having a similar living wage, so they can take care of themselves and their family. Generosity — the sharing of resources I’ve been blessed with — comes out of gratitude. If my attitude is that I have what I have because I worked hard and deserve every bit of it, _dammit_, then I’m also not likely to give to someone else in need. Or even see their need. ## **“I did it all by myself”** Consider Jimmy Stewart’s meal blessing in the movie _Shenandoah_. He knows he’s supposed to say a prayer of thanksgiving before the meal. But doggone it, he did all the work: Except there’s more to it than that. Yes, he and the others on the farm did the planting, tending and eventually harvesting. But fertile soil, sun and rain didn’t come from their hands. They probably also bought the seeds and tools.  It’s like the billionaire who proclaims himself to be entirely self-made. Started as a kid and grew a business or real estate empire, all by himself. _Except he didn’t really. _There were lots of other people involved, starting with mom and dad. Probably even got some help from the government.  _None of us is an island._ We got to where we are in no small part because others helped us. And that is a huge thing to be thankful for. ## **We didn’t create the universe** Jimmy Stewart’s character finally did acknowledge God. Grudgingly. But still.  Unless the world just magically appeared out of nothing, then God created it and everything in it, including us. There’s good reason to be thankful to Him for being alive and for the gift of eternal life He offers us through Christ Jesus: > “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe.” _Hebrews 12:28 (NIV)_ Likewise, in the Book of Psalms, David wrote: > Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the lands! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord is God! It is he that made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him, bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures for ever, and his faithfulness to all generations. Psalm 100 (NIV) There’s a lot to give thanks for. Every day we’re alive. --- --- title: "The greatest threat: External or internal?" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/the-greatest-threat/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "It’s far less likely that some foreign terrorist is going to come blow up my house or business than that I will do something myself to derail and mess it up." last_modified: "2024-09-19T16:11:24+00:00" categories: [Beliefs, Choices, Life purpose, Recommended] --- # The greatest threat: External or internal? Abraham Lincoln famously said that the greatest threat to the US wasn’t from invasion, but from within: > “Shall we expect some transatlantic military giant, to step the Ocean, and crush us at a blow? Never! — All the armies of Europe, Asia and Africa combined, with all the treasure of the earth (our own excepted) in their military chest; with a Buonaparte for a commander, could not by force, take a drink from the Ohio, or make a track on the Blue Ridge, in a trial of a thousand years. At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide.” _Abraham Lincoln,  _Lyceum Address, January 27, 1838 That’s a bold statement: No other country will be able to successfully invade and conquer the nation. And equally bold caution: If destruction is to come, it will come from within.  When Lincoln spoke these words, the War of 1812, where British forces did invade parts of the young United States, was still in recent memory. That invasion even included the burning of the White House and other government buildings in Washington, DC. But in the end, the invading forces were repealed and the nation’s borders prevailed. ## **Seeds of destruction built in** As for the possibility of internal self-destruction, that wasn’t merely hypothetical speculation. While the original 13 colonies did come together to declare independence and prevailed in the Revolutionary War to become the United States of America, there were tensions from the start. Around slavery. Around the role of the central government. Major compromises were made for the young nation to even be born.  As is often the case, the common bond that promoted compromise was the external threat. Remove that and the commonality is gone. It’s back to everyone jockeying for their own best position. Which is why it’s maybe no real surprise that Abraham Lincoln as President had to deal with a Civil War.  The above scenario is true on a national and international level. But also applies on a personal level. Which is what we’ll explore here. ## **Division on a personal level** There are indeed external threats to our lives. But for the most part, the internal threats are much greater. It’s far less likely that some foreign terrorist (or even a domestic one) is going to come blow up my house or business than that I will do something myself to derail and mess it up. All too often we are our own worst enemy. The real threat comes from within. > “We have met the enemy and he is us.” _Pogo, as penned by Walt Kelly_ ## **Ideas and decisions** In our modern world we’re constantly bombarded with messages telling us what to think, do, feel. Swaying us to accept this idea or that idea as true, or (not so subtly) telling us that there is no objective truth. That we’re surrounded by fake everything. And so it might not matter at all what or how we choose. In the 1970s, the “thing” was to “find yourself”. Much earlier, Socrates made an eloquent defense, claiming that the “unexamined life is not worth living”. Meaning that only by us actively working to know and understand ourselves do our lives have meaning and value. We can of course meander through our days, going with the flow and taking everything as it comes. At each point making decisions based on what seems good at the moment.  Which likely will eventually lead to a lot of regrets. Those regrets then often explained in terms of “if this or that had just happened differently”, or this person or that person would have acted differently, then my life would have turned out entirely different. (Presumably lots better.) Except it likely wouldn’t, because I made decisions along the way. Over and over again. And if those decisions were not really in my best interest, as they often aren’t, then how could I expect for things to turn out any better than they did? ## **Beliefs and consequences** Because all beliefs have consequences **_We all have the life we believe we must have._** Or put another way: We have the life we tolerate. Because it’s far more likely that we’re held back and hemmed in by limiting beliefs than by actual things that can’t be overcome or changed.  The age-old question we ask ourselves: _Why do we do what we do?_ Consider this statement: All human behavior is belief-driven. Problem is that beliefs are hard too pin down. We’re often now even aware of what we truly believe about something.  Actions on the other hand are very visible. To us and others. So much focus is put on actions and maybe behavior modification to stop undesirable actions or encourage actions perceived as good. Because that’s “easy”, as in, we can set dos and don’ts. > “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment.” _ Jesus (Matthew 5:21-22a, NIV)_ Jesus addressed that tension between external actions (that society can and does police) and our internal thinking. His point was exactly that first we think and then we act out of that thinking. First we believe something and then we shape our actions from those beliefs. ## **A chain of events** Let’s summarize: Beliefs shape our Thoughts and Emotions. Thoughts and Emotions lead to Actions, which produce Results. ![](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Beliefs-1024x247.png) I once had a workmate, Andy, who was perennially in trouble: Short on money, long on month. Relatives that mooched off him or got him into “super deals” that cost him dearly in money and time. In short, he was miserable much of the time. Our workmate Jeff and I decided that maybe we could help Andy change his circumstances. Because we saw that he just needed to change some of the ways he acted and some decisions he made. We had a long talk with him. Several actually. Andy listened. At first he was really gung-ho. Then he got skeptical. Finally, he had an outburst: “You guys are just messing up my life. I’m fine the way I am. Just leave me alone.” Jeff and I were left wondering where that gumption and energy was when Andy was being taken advantage of. Except, Andy’s narrative was that life is pretty miserable and he was bound to get taken advantage of. Plus blood is thicker than water and all that stuff. So it happened. His actions carried out those deeper beliefs. **_On a very significant level, what you or I believe determines what you or I will achieve._**  ## **At the start are beliefs** For purposes of this discussion, a _belief_ is a thought that you or I _feel is certain to be true_.  It may not actually be true or based in reality, but we feel certain that it is. That’s key.  Many of our beliefs were formed a long time ago. In the most random ways. Maybe something heard in passing when a teenager. Or repeatedly being told something about ourselves by others when we were kids. Expectations placed on us by others. Beliefs can have their origins almost anywhere. And as noted, not necessarily in actual reality. _We just feel pretty certain that it’s true. _ The problem is that we’re not even aware of most of our beliefs. _Limiting or otherwise._ Not like we ever sat down to list them all out. And if we do, we quickly tend to limit things. To thinking small. Not big. Because we’ve seen in the past that the sky really wasn’t the limit. It rained on our parade. And so we limit the future. We should be asking things like: Where do I want to end up in life? What do I really want my life to be about? To get there, what current belief(s) will I have to give up? What excuses do I fall back on to keep from moving forward? Which of my behaviors are actually hurting myself long-term? ## **Breaking up is hard to do** Once we are honest with ourselves and find beliefs that have been limiting us, it’s time to break up. To change what we believe. The narrative we tell ourselves. It can be a very small change. Or it can be very big.  Either way, once we actually do change a belief we have held, we won’t be able to live life the same way again. Of course just saying, “I don’t believe X any more”, isn’t enough. We need to replace that old, limiting belief with a new, empowering belief. For a many years, my weight stayed about the same. No matter what I did. At home or at work, I was always in a mixture of activity and sitting down.  Then my work changed. I sat in an office all day. And I gained weight. To a point that I experienced health problems from it. So I wanted change. But when I attempted to change, it didn’t stick. I’d exercise for a bit, randomly. Even lost some weight, but gained it back. Because deep down, I didn’t believe I could do it. Didn’t think I had the time. Or could fit it into my life. ## **Finding a pivot point** The changing point came when due to a work assignment, I was on my feet much more for a couple months. Then I travelled where I walked a lot._ A whole lot._ Plus my phone was now able to track the distance for me. _So I could see results!_  I discovered a new belief/truth about myself: I can totally walk several miles in a day and feel just fine. I_ actually enjoy it._  Once back home from the trip, strengthened by that new belief, I decided to try an experiment: Walk 1 mile every workday. Surely I could squeeze that in. A few beliefs changed and I walked. Pretty soon, 1 mile didn’t feel like that much. How about 2? Or even 3?  Now many days, I walk 4 or even 5 miles. I leave the car home and walk while doing errands. A lot of beliefs had to change for the corresponding actions to take place and results to show. But, it wasn’t that hard when I stared small. And now it’s something I look forward to. ## **If it were easy, everyone would already have done it** Key is we don’t just stop doing or believing. We have to replace it with something empowering. Because we will really only change our beliefs (and thus thoughts, emotions and ultimately actions) when it’s harder to hang on to the old belief than to embrace the new belief. That sounds easy enough. If it really was, then we’d all do it. And not struggle with limiting beliefs and being stuck in destructive cycles.  There are many reasons that changing our beliefs for ones that actually help is hard and will take some consistent work: - We don’t even know what we believe - We’ve held a particular belief for so long, we don’t see how we can ever give it up - We’re convinced it’s true (and thus unchangeable) - Those around us keep reinforcing the belief - We’ve tried to change that belief in the past So we stay right where we are. Because that’s the least amount of effort right now. ## **Trading limiting belief for empowering belief** Changing beliefs (and thoughts, feelings, actions and ultimately results) may require help from others. A counselor or therapist, a really good friend who is willing to speak truth and stick with us, a spouse who also is invested in me becoming all that I am capable of. What we don’t need are people who constantly criticize or sycophants. Divine light is in each one of us. God made us all. We’re created with potential for great things. When it’s untapped, it’s all too often because we limit ourselves. We are limited and held back, not so much by external forces, but by our own selves. Being willing to examine our beliefs and making changes where needed. Our greatest threat, personally and as a community, is truly from within. I have within me the seeds of my own destruction. I don’t need to have someone else come along and destroy all that I am or can be. I can do that all by myself. In the best 2-year-old fashion. One tantrum, one belief, at a time. Or I can choose to engage with others, build up and be built up. I can choose empowering beliefs that generate positive thoughts and actions. Seek help when needed. Connect with others. --- --- title: "The power line" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/the-power-line/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "It was a dark and stormy night. Thunderclaps aplenty. Then another, really loud noise. Much closer. That couldn't be good!" last_modified: "2025-08-22T01:28:56+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # The power line It was a dark and stormy night. No, seriously, it really was. In the midst of thunderclaps, there was another noise. Much closer and very loud. First impression: a big tree branch just landed on the roof, right above us. The ceiling didn’t cave in, which was probably a good sign.  Then another loud noise. If that was a squirrel up on the roof, it was one the size of a horse. _That loud._ Then quiet. Except for distant thunderclaps. I pondered. Most likely a sizable tree branch just fell onto the roof. Or the deck. It’s dark. And raining. If I go out there, I won’t be able to see much anyway. I looked up at the ceiling. No water dripping, so roof was probably okay. _I prayed that we’d be safe and protected in the midst of whatever just happened._ ## **The morning after** With morning comes light. Thunderstorm long gone. I went out into backyard. And there it was, nicely draped over tree branches and bushes: _Our power line. _ From the main utility line along our back fence, a branch goes to our house, keeping us connected to the grid. Normally hangs in a graceful curve from pole to corner of the house, high above the ground.  Not so this morning. It was definitely at ground level and close enough to touch. Not that I was going to. Because our lights were still on. _That line carried electricity!_ The first bang last night was probably when a tree snapped and fell over the line. The other was the line’s anchor separating from the house.  There was an old tree, not much more than a trunk left, that stood right next to the powerline. Close enough that the hanging line brushed up against it. I’d wanted to cut it down, but hesitated, because odds were really good that I’d knock down the power line in the process. So had left it in place. Obviously a bad call. I figured the top of it had broken in the storm and taken the line out. So there we were: _Powerline down, but still electricity at the house. _ ## **Calling the utility company** I decided to call the the utility company. Because it’s their line. _I think._ With the phone company, it’s very clear: If the fault is on their line to the little interface on the wall, they fix it. If the fault is on my side of the box, I fix it. I hoped electrical utilities worked the same way. Reaching the utility company, a recorded voice advised me that they were experiencing larger than normal call volumes. _Duh._ Thunderstorm last night. I called them back the next morning. Finally found a live person to talk to. Sympathetic enough. They’d send somebody out to fix this.  Later in the day, an electric company truck pulled up. The guy surveyed the situation. His main concern seemed to be if the meter was okay. _It was. Still ticking._ That was good, because, in his words, “that gets expensive”.  My layman’s assessment was that the powerline (3 power cables and a steel wire that holds them up) needed to get lifted back up and reattached to the house. The pipe that the cables continue in down to the meter had popped lose in a joint and could just be put back in proper position and anchored back into the wall. That was easy enough to do. To me, the tricky part was lifting the power line. Because heavy. That would need a small winch. Which I don’t have. The utility guy got me back to reality. He outlined the plan: Get your electrician to put the pipe and anchor back up. _Then_ the electrical company would restore the power line.  Check. My electrician. Now I had to find one of those. ## **Who do you call?** I go to an early morning Bible study once a week. One of the guys there is a realtor. So when I saw him next, I explained my predicament. Right off, he texted somebody. And had an answer in minutes. _Before 7am._ Later that morning, I called that electrician. Less than half an hour later he was surveying the situation with me. Yes, his team could fix this. But might have to relocate the anchor. Because the old position was really close to the deck. You could stand on the deck and almost reach the power line. First step would be for me to call the electrical company and have power turned off temporarily. That became an interesting conversation. The power company service desk could only promise to turn off power _sometime_ on Monday. _What?_ Even the phone or cable company will give you a 2 hour window of when they’ll come. Then I asked about getting power turned back on, once the job was completed. I was told that would require a city permit and inspection. Because power was turned off. Never mind that it only needed to be off for a few hours. I calculated: Power off sometime Monday. Repairs on Tuesday. Inspection on Wednesday. Power back on sometime Thursday. _If all went well._ So now I had to prepare for being without power for several days. Think fridge and freezer. And getting work done. No electricity, no internet. Not a good prospect. When power goes out suddenly during a storm, you just roll with it. Planning for an undermined power outage is more nerve-racking. So many variables. ## **Serendipity rolls in** Friday morning a utility truck pulled up. The guy explained he was here to turn off power. We talked. About how I did need power cut off, but not until Monday. Then he offered the seemingly impossible: What _time_ on Monday would I like power cut off? Because he’d come back at that time. We agreed on 10am.  I called the electrician and told him he could come in the afternoon on Monday. Life was looking up slightly. Over the weekend I prepared for a few days without power. Because even if the work got done on Monday, that still left inspection and getting someone come and turn power back on. Multiple parties involved. Might still be Wednesday before power was back on. I needed a plan for getting my daily work done. ## **Getting things done** Shortly before 10 am on Monday morning a utility truck came. The worker and I went out to the downed powerline. As we were talking, the electricians arrived. At that point I let the experts confer.  The outcome of their conversation was amazing: Once power was cut, it wouldn’t take the electricians long to put the pipe and anchor back up. So the utility worker decided to stick around to connect power back up when all was done. Plus the electricians brought a long ladder and he wanted to use that to get up to reconnect power.  Power was cut and the downed powerline coiled up out of the way. I have a chainsaw, but it’s electric. So I went to work cutting down that tree trunk with a handsaw.   I only realized how rotten the tree was when I’d cut through about half of it and tried pushing on it. It creaked and swayed. I pushed more. _Timber!_ It fell in the intended direction, leaving a stump showing broken, crumbled wood. _Rotten to the core._ Definitely glad to have that out of the way. Just about an hour after cutting power, the utility worker had it reconnected. The line from the utility pole to the house once again hung gracefully curved high above the ground. I flicked a switch inside the front door and there was light. It was good. Yes, it was good indeed. A potentially really bad situation had been fixed in an hour. Not days. ![Utility workers reconnect power after the line is put back up](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/reconnecting-power.jpg)Almost done: reconnecting power after everything is put back up ## **The rest of the story: Thankful** That might be the end of the story. Except that would leave out all the things to be thankful for during this highly unusual event. You will probably say that experiencing a big tree limb falling from high up in a tree during a thunderstorm, ripping down the power line is not something to be thankful for. _True. I would much prefer, had it not happened at all._ But since it _did_ happen, I’m very thankful for: - No power loss when the line originally came down — not even blinking on and off - No damage to the house - No fire - No damage to the electrical meter installation (To quote the first utility worker: “That would have been expensive.”) - The first utility worker to come by the house decided the downed line was safe enough to leave power on, so we still had electricity until repairs could be made - Nobody injured during the initial event or during the restoration process - A friend instantly connected me with a great electrician - I cold-called the electrician and he not only answered his phone, but was at my house within 30 minutes - A utility worker who came on the wrong day and who on the spot set up a specific time to cut power so we could plan - Utility company and electricians worked together seamlessly to restore power in minutes, not days - I got a tree, that needed to come down anyway, out of the way without having to worry about damaging the power line **Total time without power: _1 hour_** _Can’t really beat that. _ I am very thankful for God’s provision in so many ways throughout this event. Something that could have been a really bad thing, turned out to bring occasion to give thanks in several specific ways. Life can be good, even when a big tree branch comes flying down. --- --- title: "Of pinpricks and a Milky Way" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/of-pinpricks-and-a-milky-way/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "How often do you stop and look up at the sky at night? Quite possibly not that often. Because we tend to be in a hurry to get home. It’s dark. And there’s nothing to see up there anyway. Except there is …" last_modified: "2024-09-19T16:24:21+00:00" categories: [Life purpose, Nature, Recommended] --- # Of pinpricks and a Milky Way How often do you stop and look up at the sky at night? Quite possibly not that often. Because we tend to be in a hurry to get home. It’s dark. And there’s nothing to see up there anyway. All black. When we live in a built-up area, that’s pretty much it. I can go out into the street by my house at night and look up. I’ll see sky beyond the many trees. Probably the moon, if it’s out and not hidden behind some tree. I might even see a few stars. Tiny pinpricks on an otherwise pretty black background. Just a reminder that there are stars up there. At least a few. I might also see a spot of light, flashing and moving rather fast across the sky. An airliner passing high above. Around here, that’s almost as common as seeing a few stars. > “For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.“ _Vincent Van Gogh_ ## **Stars at night** A while back, Diane and I were at the Amana Villages in Iowa. It’s a 20-odd minute drive from the metro areas of Cedar Rapids and Iowa City. Enough to be a rural area. One night while there, on the way back to the B&B we were staying at, I turned onto on a gravel road, going out among farm fields. Diane wondered where we were going. I asked her to be patient for a minute or two. A mile later, I stopped at a field entrance and we got out of the car. Beyond the eastern horizon we could see the light from Iowa City shining up into the sky, like some giant bubble over the metro area. If I was lost and trying to get back home to the city, I’d have no trouble to figure out which direction to go in. But we were not lost. We were gazing up into the sky.  To see stars. Lots of them. With ever more popping out as our eyes got used to the darkness. Suddenly there was depth in the sky. What so often seems like a black sheet with a few pinpricks of light, was now _full_ of stars. Of various sizes and brightness.  It was the first time in a long time that I recalled seeing not just a handful of stars in the sky, but lots and lots of them. And actually seeing the Milky Way.  > “We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature — trees, flowers, grass — grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls.” _Mother Teresa_ ![night sky: person silhouetted against stars and Milky Way](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/milky-way-1024x530.jpg) ## **Guiding stars** In ancient times (like anytime before radios, radar, satellites and GPS), stars were incredibly important for knowing where we are. Ships relied on them for navigation. Even travelers on land counted on them.  Because you can’t really get lost if you know where the Pole Star (North Star or Polaris) is in the sky. At least if you’re in the Northern Hemisphere.  If you’re “down under”, you can use the constellation of the Southern Cross and find due south with just a little calculation. > “The stars are the land-marks of the universe.” _Sir John Frederick William Herschel, Essays from the Edinburgh and Quarterly Reviews with Addresses and Other Pieces, 1857_ ## **Connecting to the Universe** The time under the starry sky made me feel a whole different connection to the universe than I get from a quick glance up at the sky while walking from the car to the front door on an average night.  It made me realize just how much is out there. How vast the universe is. Which makes the Earth all the more unique. This one place where life as we know it exists. One tiny speck in the entirety of the universe. Each of those pinpricks up there being a star like our sun. Many no doubt with planets circling around them. The awesome thing about a really starry sky, is that we can, for the most part, find places to see it without going all that far. Just have to get out of metro areas. If you’re in New York, Chicago or LA, that can indeed involve going some distance. In many other places, the travel needed will be quite modest.  But definitely worth it.  > “Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious.” _Stephen Hawking_ ![Aurora Borealis spread over night sky](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/aurora-spectacular-1024x683.jpg)Curtains of Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis) meandering through the night sky ## **Aurora Borealis** While we’re on the topic of wonders in the sky, there’s also the Northern Lights. Aurora Borealis. Don’t see that at all in Arkansas.  Southern Sweden on the other hand, is far to the north. Growing up there, I saw them regularly during the darker part of the year. Especially on really cold, clear nights.  When the sky fills with a display of lights in ever changing patterns, it’s enough to make you forget that it’s well below freezing outside. You just stand and watch in awe and wonder. Beats any lightshow I’ve seen entertainment folks put on. When we lived in Iowa, we saw the Northern Lights on rare occasions. One time as church evening service had just ended, our pastor (who hailed from Minnesota) came back into the church foyer quite excited, telling everyone to go outside into the parking lot.  As we stepped outside, we were rewarded with a gorgeous display of Northern Lights. First time for many who were there.  The wonderful spectacle of lights in the sky, like giant curtains, is as if the whole world has become a stage for some cosmic light show. Slowly changing, waning, intensifying, moving across the sky. It’s not just the colors in the night sky, but also the movement. I see why people travel to places above the arctic circle specifically to experience the Northern Lights.  > She lifted her head in surprise, following his line of sight above the tree line. Beyond the distant peaks, a green and blue symphony of lights had begun. It rippled and shimmered like sunshine on water, leaving Rich blinking back tears. He’d read something about this but had never seen it before. “It’s the aurora borealis,” Lou said quietly. “Northern lights.”  _Danika Stone, Edge of Wild_ ![multi-colored curtain of Northern Lights in night sky](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/fisheye-aurora-1024x631.jpg) ## **Majesty and uniqueness** Times like that remind me how wonderfully uniquely created our universe and world is. You might say I don’t have enough faith, but I can’t see how this all would be here by chance. Everything fits together far too well to have happened just by randomness. Somebody designed it. Created it all. > The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.  _Psalm 19:1-4_ All too often we take the world we live in for granted. Assume it’s always going to be there. So why pay any much attention to it? Besides life gets busy. Things to do. People to see. We’re in charge. Make plans. Set schedules. > “If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore; and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! But every night come out these envoys of beauty, and light the universe with their admonishing smile.”  _Ralph Waldo Emerson, Nature and Selected Essays_ ## **Our spot in the universe** When experiencing something like a Northern Lights display in the sky, or gazing out into a universe filled with stars, solar systems, galaxies far, far away, all that daily busyness somehow becomes less important. Because it’s realizing that I’m a very small part in this grand universe. A truly blessed part, to be alive and have everything that I’ve been given. But still a very small part. Even the most (self-)important people of the day are truly minuscule parts of the entire universe.  The experience makes me so very thankful to be alive. Right here, right now. And grateful that I get to experience the beauty of the heavens every so often. The Northern Lights may not be within reach for everyone, but we can all take time to gaze up at the sky on a clear night, preferably away from lights on the ground. _To watch the heavens declare the glory of God._ It makes me thankful. And also wanting to be sure to take care of the world I’m living in. For those who come after. > “No sky Leila had seen before could compare to the beauty she was seeing above her. It didn’t feel like some accident of nature but rather something that was purposefully unleashed on the world.” _Adi Alsaid_, Let’s Get Lost The Aurora Borealis makes for great pictures. But to really grasp the splendor of it, you have to see the motion. Here are 2 video spectaculars: [Northern Lights Relaxation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T75IKSXVXlc) [Night of the Northern Lights](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVsONlc3OUY) (time compressed) Intrigued about the Northern Lights? To learn more, [check out this video on YouTube.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wZSt_LNq3U) --- --- title: "Then I saw your face" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/then-i-saw-your-face/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "The long distance train sped through miles of suburbs surrounding downtown. Greg was going back to the city to meet a woman he once knew. The last time blew up spectacularly. What would today be like when they meet again?" last_modified: "2019-12-24T20:48:15+00:00" categories: [Fiction] --- # Then I saw your face The long distance train sped through miles of suburbs surrounding downtown. Ever closer to the final destination. Greg was at the window, looking down at streets and rows of houses going by. Cars moving down there, people going by. Like they did every day. Nothing special at all with today. Except today was special. Greg hadn’t been back here for years. 5 at least. No, it was closer to 6.  Last time hadn’t ended so well. That was the last time he saw Kim. As she stomped off, ending their meeting. Or was it him that made the irrevocable move to turn and leave? Either way, the other hadn’t done anything to close the gap. Because it was too big for mending by then. It wasn’t, (strictly speaking and as he eventually, but much later, realized) that everything was fine and then there was this big explosion and that was it. You don’t go from being close and having a life together to being strangers overnight. No, the falling apart brewed for a long time. Little things that didn’t connect. One after another. Until the fateful day when those all blew up. And Greg walked out of Kim’s life forever. Or did she walk out of his? He still wasn’t sure. Just that it happened. He’d moved away. Far away. Rebooted his life. Moved on, as they say. Yet here he was, coming back to this city, to meet her again. He didn’t know what to expect. They’d reconnected online. Exchanged a few emails, messages. That sort of thing.  Agreed to meet again. Because somewhere deep inside, Greg still cared about Kim. Still felt that something had been broken that day that shouldn’t have been broken. That maybe there was a way forward. He shrugged off all the thoughts as the train rounded a curve and there was the downtown area, visible up ahead. Wouldn’t be long now. The train was actually a bit early coming in. When Greg figured that out, he realized that a part of him had secretly wished it would be late. If the train was late, he wouldn’t make the meeting on time. He’d be able to say “Hey, I got there eventually. But since the train was late, I missed you.” That would be safe. No actual face to face. He could send her a letter, text, email. Whatever. The postal service or the great internet would be to blame. So much easier than face to face. Especially when you don’t know how that face to face will play out. The train rocked passing through switches on the approach to its designated platform track. It was slowing down. No delaying now. Breaks were squealing. Then a final little jerk and the train stood still. It was really tempting to just stay on the train, to go on to another station, anywhere, to keep going and not have to go down into the train station and face that meeting with her. He wasn’t even sure now what to say to her after all this time. Already people were streaming out on the platform. He watched them through the window for a moment. Again, it hadn’t ended well last time. So what was he doing here, trying to meet again? Yet something compelled him. Plus the fact that this was the final destination of the train. He could remain in the train car, but soon a conductor would walk through and enlighten him that this was indeed the final destination. Time to get off. Out onto the platform.  So he got off. Stood on the platform. Big clock out there proclaimed that it was 17 minutes before the hour. 17 minutes before he was to meet her in the main concourse. They’d been clear and specific: In the main concourse, by the information sign. Because it had been a while. Maybe he wouldn’t recognize her. He made his way along the platform towards the exit. On the other side of the platform a train was boarding, getting ready to depart for some unknown place. He fought back an urge to just hop on that train. Get in and leave.  He could always claim that something happened and he couldn’t make it. A whistle sounded. The train was about to leave. He still had the opportunity and then the doors closed. Slammed shut. Opportunity gone. He moved towards the stairs down to the passageway that would take him into the main concourse. Just one among all the other people heading the same way. Greg walked through the passage under the tracks to the main concourse. From a distance, as he got closer, he could see people moving around out there. This was decision time: He could walk right out into the concourse, over to the information sign and be exactly where they’d agreed to meet.  Or he could find a spot off to the side, under an overhang, where he’d be able to look out and she would most likely not see him. Because he’d be in the shadows. He wasn’t sure why he even considered this. This wasn’t some spy movie. Where it’s all about tricking the other party. Or outwit assassins. He’d come all this way. Might as well do it. Let it turn out however it would turn out. And yet he felt like he needed to keep some options open. Keep the ability to back out. Keep the ability to just fade into the background. Make an escape.  To be sure, he had a scheduled departure for that evening. Late in the evening. All calculated to give him maximum time in town before journeying on. It seemed a good idea at the time.  Here he was, blending in with other waiting passengers in a small seating area, half-hidden under the mezzanine level, looking out at the concourse. Right there in the middle, brightly lit, was the information sign. He waited. Looked at his watch. Right on the nose. High noon. Not a sign of her. Couldn’t see anybody who looked even remotely like the Kim he remembered. Or anybody who looked like they were looking for somebody. He realized of course that if she came by, there was the remote possibility that he wouldn’t recognize her from over here. Because several years. People change. Guess that’s why in the spy novels they all agree on what to wear to recognize each other. Flower in the button hole or carrying a newspaper in a certain way.  Lots of people came and went. A woman stopped by the info sign, looking things up on her phone. She had her back turned to him. Could that be her? He had a sudden urge to go up there. Somehow walk casually by and steal a glance. Could be her. Maybe, possibly. She stood there for what seemed like an absolute eternity, focused on her phone.  He realized that he could grab his phone. Text something. Like: “I’m here.” Or maybe even: “Running late.” Surely if that was her up there, he would notice from her reaction that she just got a text message when he pressed send. He decided against it. And put the phone back in this pocket. Even from the back, he really didn’t think it was her over there. 10 after. 11. 13. 17 after. He felt a growing realization of “She’s not coming.” She is just not coming. He’d been stood up. That had happened before. It was part of what caused the breakup in the first place.  He waited. And debated with himself how long to wait. Before he’d decide to leave. Would he stick around until the scheduled train tonight or would he hop on an earlier train going the right direction? Even if just going to the next stop down the line?  If he established that she wasn’t coming, he wouldn’t want to stay here. He wouldn’t want to walk around the city. Risk that hours from now he’d be on a random street and run into her.  Maybe she’d come, not seen him at the info sign and left. That was a possibility. Maybe it was a dumb idea to hang tight over here, really forcing the situation. Meanwhile she had to be the one stepping out, being very public. Very much in in the view, while he had the luxury of hiding in the shadows.  Greg pondered all the options. It was now 23 after. He put away the magazine he’d been sort of pretending to read. Pulled his gear together getting ready to go. Pretty clear she wasn’t coming now. As he stood up, with his items collected he looked over to the info sign one more time. There were new people there. One made him do a double take.  _That was her._ He just saw her back. But it was enough. That was her. It’s funny how we can anticipate a meeting and be convinced that we won’t recognize the other person when we’ll finally stand face to face. Then we see them across a crowded room and know from the get-go this is the person I’m meeting. At that moment know, without a shadow of a doubt, you could run into them anywhere in the world and recognize them instantly. Kim was right there. Almost half an hour late, but there. What would he do? They’d reconnected. Decided to meet again. He wasn’t sure why or what he hoped to accomplish. Getting back together seemed totally out of the realm of possible. And he wasn’t sure he really wanted to. At one point, yes, but time had gone by. To say he was sorry? Possibly. Then what? Meeting up had seemed like a good idea. Now that he was here, in the train station and she was over there, just yards away, not so much. Suddenly he saw all the things that could go wrong. They’d talk. Then there’d be a scene. It was inevitable. Something old would come up. The entire concourse would watch in horror. Judgment. In the end, they’d each stomp away in different directions. Hurt again.  _Let’s not go there._ Of course, it could turn out to be a good meeting. A chance to reconnect, say “I’m sorry”, spend a bit of time together and eventually part as friends. But was that likely? Probably not. He could still slip away. Retreat in among the other passengers waiting over on this side of the room and fade into the woodwork. Go up on a platform and just hang out there until he could get on a train. For the first time, he realized that he really didn’t want to face a meeting. He stayed exactly where he was a good 5 minutes. 10 minutes. She was still there. Hanging out. Looking around. For one split second he was sure she’d seen him. And would come heading this way. He started to move forward.  Then he watched her eyes move and scan the rest of the room. Having scanned that side of the room, she turned her back toward where he was standing. Now she was talking with somebody up there.  He replayed in his mind how things had gone the last time they met. She didn’t want to see him then either. He’d made the effort then to meet to try to patch up. To explain. To rebuild their relationship. And it blew up spectacularly. He’d never been so happy to walk out of a situation as when he was able to move to another city, new job, new friends. The move had been good. He’d been very lost and he’d found his way. He was doing well now. Moving forward with his life.  So why cross the space of the open room and go over and even for just an afternoon reopen what had been a painful situation? He watched the scene over there. Kim was talking to a woman. Looked like maybe the woman had come up to ask for something. Whatever. Now the women seemed locked in an intense exchange. Of course he couldn’t hear any of what was said. But there were lots of gestures. It reminded him that Kim always talked as much with her hands as with her mouth. And going by the energetic gestures, things over there were getting a bit agitated. Greg stood next to a group of seats he’d been sitting in a few minutes earlier. A young couple came by and quietly asked if the seats were taken. He looked at them. Seemed like a delightful young couple. Out on a trip, having a great time. He looked at the seats. And indicated to the couple that they could have the seats. Walking slowly in the passenger area under the mezzanine, Greg looked out at the info stand in the middle of the concourse. Kim was still talking to the woman over there. Things seemed less animated than a few minutes ago. Then he turned around and walked through the seating area, circling along the wall towards the passage to the tracks. Once in there, he picked a random track and went up on the platform. Walked as far out as there were benches. Sat down with his bag next to him. Pulled out a notebook and started writing a note. Simple note. Though nothing really is simple. He rewrote it several times. He was writing it here and now, but he wouldn’t mail it until tomorrow or the day after. In another place. Didn’t want the postmark to indicate anything other than that he’d never been in town. The note started with a few words about a mixup with trains. That he didn’t make it in today. He thought about saying “I’m sorry”, but he wasn’t really. Maybe this was best after all. Why open up the old mess again? By meeting face to face. He still had a few good memories. Keep it that way. He thought about offering maybe another time. But instead he just added on: _“As I’ve been stuck on a detour today, with all this, I have been thinking. I’m just not sure that there would be any point to try to reconnect in person after all this time. I’m sure you’ve changed and moved on. I know I have._ _There were, back in the day, good reasons for going our separate ways and those are probably best left where they are. Truly wish you the best.”_ He pondered for some kind of greeting to put under there. In the end he just signed his name and shoved the sheet of paper into an envelope.  There was an urge to go back down to the main concourse. To again take a peek from the shadows. He’d decided to not talk to her. To just leave. Yet the prospect of one last look was tempting. She might still be there.  How long would she wait around? If she was still there, would she see him this time. Then explaining would be all that much harder. Of course, he could blame it on trains running late. Or something. But still … It would be so awkward. A Beatles song played through his mind. _Let it be._ Now he couldn’t even recall the the context of the song that prompted the “let it be”, but it seemed fitting. Greg walked back along the platform. There was a train going in the right direction. He got on. Found a seat. On the side away from the platform. Pulled out his paper and pretended to read. After a while the loudspeaker out there droned on. Then a whistle. Doors slamming. Almost imperceptibly at first, the train started rolling. There were rail yards passing by outside the window. Then it was streets and rows of houses down there, below the embankment the train tracks were on. Cars moving. People going to and fro.  Greg leaned back in his seat, head resting against the cool glass of the window. The world outside was a blur to him. He’d come this far. And left. Without meeting her. Life would go on. But he wasn’t coming back. The whooshing of the train echoed the song _Let it be, Let it be_. --- --- title: "Everything was better before — and the more before the better" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/everything-was-better-before/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "“The good old days.” “I miss the old days.” “Life was simpler then.”\n\nWe look/think/dream back a few decades and see a time in the rearview mirror when the world was in ever so much better shape." last_modified: "2024-09-19T16:23:49+00:00" categories: [Beliefs, History, Life purpose] --- # Everything was better before — and the more before the better _“The good old days.” “Back when I was young.” “Back when _____ was President.” “I miss the old days.” “Life was simpler then.” _ We look/think/dream back a few decades and see a time in the rearview mirror when the world was in ever so much better shape. When things were the way they were supposed to be. Definitely less uncertainty. Everything was safer. Less complicated. More human. People were nicer. Relationships better. Simpler. Gentler. Much less stress. Maybe it helps us cope with current stress to think that at some point, like a few decades ago, the world was indeed a much better place. If we could only bring those glory days back… Of course, it depends on who you talk to, as to when that “golden age” was. ## **The golden age of yesteryear** My parents and relatives (“the old grownups”) would animatedly talk about their _golden age_. That being the 1930s. In spite of the Great Depression, it sounded like a pretty good time to come of age in. At least from listening to them recount memories. To me, the kid, it just sounded like an old time, long ago, that I couldn’t relate to. Look further back into history and we’re likely to conclude that certainly the 1800s were full of change. Industrialization, waves of emigration, railroads, steamships. Must have been totally crazy. Then we assume that in centuries before that, life went on like it always had, with little or no change for decades. But if we could actually time travel and ask a person from a century or two ago, they would be unlikely to agree that life was simpler or better then. ## **Back to the ’50s** For much of my life, I’ve heard that _the good old days_ was the 1950s. _Because perfect._ Or darn near perfect. It was a time of prosperity and growth. People had jobs that paid well. Families were stable and not confusing. People took time for each other. There was less stress and rushing. It was a better world.  A man could get a good job that lasted a lifetime and provided for his family. Without needing multiple advanced degrees. It was a time of unprecedented prosperity for a growing middle class. Suburbs expanded as all the new families formed after the War set down roots. Life was good and possibilities endless.  Except, it was also a time of Jim Crow. Segregation was very much alive in many places, with no indication it would ever change. Which is why students at newly desegregated schools required military escort to attend classes.    Traditional marriage was strong. Or seemed so on the surface. Because fewer divorces. But a lot of those families suffered with abuse that no one would listen to. While employment prospects were good for men, women were not so much included, except in limited (subordinate) roles. Also, women couldn’t have credit cards in their own name. Or a lot of other things. The ’50s was also the age of McCarthyism — the very real witch-hunt for hidden communists that made everyone a suspect. Plus the Cold War was really heating up. Everyone wondered when the Bomb would explode. School kids learned how to take cover under their desks. I was very young in ’50s. Only have a few memories of my own. Like a winter with huge snowdrifts in our driveway in Sweden and digging tunnels into that snow. Oh, and studying the first few pages in the Swedish phone book. Those stayed the same well into the ’60s. Titled _If the War comes_, it was several pages on what to do when and if war struck. How to evacuate in an orderly fashion. How to protect yourself when the A-bomb was dropped. And helpful advice, like not to eat food that had been exposed during the A-bomb explosion. Because radiation fallout. Fascinating stuff to a kid. Enough to give you nightmares for weeks. So maybe not everything was better back in the ’50s. And I don’t truly think many of us would truly like to turn the clock back to live in that decade again. ## **Or was it the ‘70s?** For me, the golden time to bring back might be the 1970s. Because after all, I came of age during that decade and several life changing events took place then. It’s a time etched into my mind forever. And easy to dream back to, feeling that life was somehow better then. Yes, I know that certain ’70s fashions have been reviled ever since and some people feel that whole decade should best be boxed up and hidden away. That said, several ’70s fashion trends have made comebacks, lasting longer in revival than they did originally. There’s a problem with declaring that a time existed when the world was better and we should bring it back to make today great again: _The actual years of that elusive golden era vary, depending on when you grew up!_ ## **Explanation 1: Those were the formative years of our lives** One way to explain our persistent longing for yesteryear is that certain periods in our lives leave greater impressions than others. There’s the time from mid-teens through the 20s. That’s when we cease to be children and join society at large. Our coming of age. Key events happen along the way: Graduating High School, going to college, landing the first real job. Plus dating, marriage and starting a family. Those are all events that leave impressions on us. For the rest of our lives. Years later, when we’re in the middle of career and family, those years can seem ever so carefree and simple.  Because we long ago forgot the obligatory _teen angst_ or just how overwhelming the world seemed when we got our first job and first apartment.  Then again, we were young and 30 seemed like old. (As in the phrase _“Don’t trust anyone over 30!”_) We could afford to be idealists. Reality would creep in later. It’s a normal transition that generation after generation goes through, with some variation depending on the state of the world at the time. Brain studies of how we remember events from a long life do show a marked spike in the number of events recalled from the teens and 20s. With fewer events recalled from before that age and also fewer from later (mid-life) years. So we’re in a sense pre-wired to have a _“golden age”_ of the years around age 20 to recall and dream back to. ## **Explanation 2: Today is just scary** Another reason for longing for past times may be that we feel uncertainty and even fear about what today and tomorrow will bring. Because we know we can’t control the change. The job market changes. Relationships end. Things that seemed to be dependable, are all of a sudden gone. We get older and at some point have less energy and ability to keep up with the pace of change. It’s easy to look at today’s news and conclude that the world is on the brink of going to hell in a hand basket. As I write this, the Middle East actually could erupt into major war at any moment. The local TV station carries daily terrorism updates, just in case we’re not scared enough. And we apparently need to train our kids (any age) in how to survive a school shooting. All enough to make some time in the past when we felt more in control look very enticing. And us wanting it back. Fear and pain are strong motivators for action. But we have to be careful. Just wanting to avoid a current pain, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to rush back into something that was, in its day, just as full of fear and pain and maybe even more so. ## **Moving forward** If I dream back of past glory days because those were the formative years, then that can be something to spur me on to even greater things today. Because look what happened back then. What was possible. And I’ve grown as a person since then. I have more life experience now. This kind of looking back can be encouraging and a source of strength for dealing with today’s unknowns. On the other hand, the reason for longing for past days might be that all I see in today’s world is uncontrollable change. The wheels about to come off the bus._ A world where I no longer feel relevant._  Then I need to take a deep breath and make myself realize that the world back then, in the glory days of the past, was also full of change and scary things. That we navigated. And made it through. Because we’re still here. No matter how much we’d like to turn the clock back on certain aspects of life, it’s not going to happen. So we need to find ways to look forward, instead of being stuck in the rearview mirror.  My driver’s ed teacher drummed into me that I should definitely check my rearview mirror every few seconds while driving. So I’d clearly know what’s around me in the traffic. But the full attention needs to be forward, because if I don’t, well, I’m going to hit something really, really soon. And that _will_ be bad. A better exercise than just dreaming back to old days and then trying to force them onto today to make the world great again, is to explore what specific aspects it is that appeal from back then. And see how the essence of that might be integrated into my life today. Without throwing out good change that has taken place. ## **Mindset about today** _“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? … Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:25-27, 34 NIV)_ Jesus’ words don’t mention _yesterday_ or a _golden age_. They’re about the _present_ and the _future_. And our (futile) efforts to control them.  When we escape to the past, it’s often because we feel that right now the world is out of control, or at least not all that we wanted it to be. The past feels safer. If we could only bring it back. The words from the Gospel of Matthew compares our lives with birds. I don’t know what the consciousness span of birds is. I do have experience with cats and dogs. They are by and large in the present. With occasional bursts of longing for something future. But it’s immediate future, as in _“I want food”_ or _“I want out (or in)”_ — a pretty direct change of current circumstances.  They also do recognize things and people out of the past, so there’s some lasting memory. But rather fuzzy, it seems. Catch the cat a while after the fact and take it back to the crime scene. It will sniff around and look at you like _“Whoever did that?”_ Definitely life in the present. ## **Called to live in the present** We are not called or designed to live in the past, like endless versions of _Groundhog Day_. > “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” _George Santayana_ Part of what makes us unique as humans is that we can grasp not just the present, but also look forward towards a future that hasn’t happened yet, speculating about what might happen and how that could play out.  As well as recall a lifetime of past events. And more, since we can transfer knowledge. Thanks to that, I can know that things happened hundreds of years before I was born and see how that helped shape the world I’m in today. Often, we get sidetracked though. We are so busy either rushing into the future to shape it or worried about what it will do to us. Or we take refuge in retreating into the past. Even trying to resurrect it, because it seemed so much better than right now. **_We’re often not very good at living in the present._**  Being able to recall times in the past can be a good thing. It shows us what we’ve been through, what we accomplished (and could presumably accomplish again) and gives us shared experiences that connect us with others. Those are good things. It’s only when we retreat to the past out of fear of today that we need to be concerned. Because we can’t (nor would we really want to) return to a time that already was. It had enough of its own worries. Life is best lived well anchored in the present, with a clear look forward. And occasional glimpses in the rearview mirror to make sure we’re still on course. When tempted to check out from today and go live in memory land, just remember that this today we’re trying to escape, will in another few decades be the simpler, safer, gentler time that a new generation will most likely look back to, going, _“I wish I was back in 2019. Life was sure better then.”_ Except you and I know that it really wasn’t.  --- --- title: "It’s been good — time to end this" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/its-been-good-time-to-end-this/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Scenario: You have a conference that is doing well. \n\nWould you end it because this is year 5 and the plan was to only do it 5 times? Or keep going, because you can?" last_modified: "2024-11-11T15:31:34+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # It’s been good — time to end this Last weekend I was in Franklin, Tennessee, for the 5th annual Tribe Conference. It was my 4th time there (missed the first year because of a crazy travel schedule). Find my Tribe 2018 impressions [here](https://claesjonasson.com/its-about-time-_________/) and [here](https://claesjonasson.design/portfolios-stories-and-10-10-10/). Tribe 2017 [here](https://claesjonasson.com/my-cup-runneth-over/). Once again, it was an awesome time with great speakers and lots of actionable information. Plus ample time to catch up with new and old friends. It was also the very last Tribe Conference. _Ever._ Because back when Jeff Goins, writer, blogger, speaker and entrepreneur came up with the idea to hold an annual conference for writers and bloggers seeking to build an audience (tribe) online, he set out to do this new thing for 5 years. Of course he didn’t know then what would actually happen. It could have been a case of “if you build it, they won’t come”. But it wasn’t. Instead they came. And came back. Year after year. Because each year has been so totally worth showing up for. Each year I’ve come home energized and ready to take on the world. Each year the speakers are different. With new takeaways. New action points. All very applicable. Attendance has been good from the start. _So why end now?_ After all, by now, Jeff’s team has surely figured out exactly each little step in making the Tribe Conference a success. Back in year 1 or even 2, they were still figuring things out. But now, in year 5, the book on how to do the Tribe Conference exists. So why not keep going? ## **Rolling along** I worked at [FamilyLife](https://www.familylife.com) for many years. Among other things, they hold weekend marriage conferences around the nation each year. Have done so for 35 or so years.  When I was there, the schedule routinely contained over 100 locations each conference season. I was on the creative team and we designed brochures with the schedules. I also worked on the conference manuals that attendees received. And on the speaker bible — a huge binder set full of all the information a speaker could ever need to successfully get through a conference weekend. Because there were over 60 couples on the speaker team. Each conference involved 2 couples taking turns presenting conference material from the stage. It was (and is) a sizable operation. With every last detail recorded in staff and speaker manuals, charts and timelines. You _have_ to have everything figured out, including lists for what to do when the unexpected happens. Because that’s the only way you’re going to get through that many events in a year successfully. All while delivering a great experience for the attendees. ## **The blueprint exists — keep it going** So why wouldn’t Jeff take a cue from a successful operation like that (and FamilyLife isn’t the only organization holding the same conference in many venues, year after year)? He could have. Even if he didn’t want to be so heavily personally involved, he could have continued to run the Tribe Conference through his organization, letting someone on staff do all the work and maybe even have someone else do all the emceeing. People would still come.  Because the Tribe Conference has been unique: A great, affordable place for creative people to come, learn, connect and get energized to take next steps.  Conferences are of course notoriously challenging in that it’s hard to predict revenue from year to year and costs tend to go up as the conference becomes more well-known. Even so, I think Jeff and his team could easily have run the Tribe Conference for at least another 5 years, following the formula honed during the first 5 years. Some folks would have gone down that route, only calling it quits once attendance was in a clear decline. ## **Pulling the plug while on top of the game** In a way I’m glad Jeff did choose to end after these 5 successful years.  For me as an attendee it does a couple things: It really makes _me_ have to go back and review. There’s a tendency for us to go to an event, declare that it was good and exciting and go back the next year. Because we thrive on the mountain top experience at the event. It makes us feel good. _Regardless of what I actually do with what I learned at the event once I’m back home._ So going to a certain conference year after year can become a security blanket of sorts._ I’m a writer because I go to conferences with other writers._ Not because I actually write all that much. That kind of thing. I’ve seen that happen, to myself and others. Actually, while at the Tribe Conference last year (my 3rd time), I pondered whether I would sign up then and there to come back next year (2019). Because, while it was good, was it really the _best_ thing for me? Was I just getting comfortable in this setting? Was it really challenging me to the fullest? Or was it the safe thing to do. Maybe even keeping me from really growing as an author?  I seriously considered this, because I don’t want to find myself doing things just because I’ve always done it this way. In the end, as Jeff announced that 2019 would be the last year for Tribe Conference, it made sense to come back this year and drink in everything I could from the lineup of speakers. In each case looking for how what they taught could and would help me go forward. ## **A program to end programs** Years ago, I worked for the [Cooperative Extension Service at Iowa State University](https://www.extension.iastate.edu). Home base is at the university, but there are offices in every county of the state. That’s a lot of things going on in the organization. From 4-H to experimental farming practices to animal husbandry to food safety. And much, much more.  Someone in Extension leadership began to see a problem with this myriad of programs. Some had been around for a long time. Decades even. But were they filling a real function now? Or were they just still here because “we’ve always had that program in Story County”? As Iowa changed from being overwhelmingly rural to a much more urban landscape, were the programs still relevant?  So a new program was announced — one that would evaluate existing programs to determine what to keep going, what to change and yes, what to stop doing. It just seemed silly to add a new program to figure out how to discontinue old programs. But in reality it was needed. Far too many things in life outlive their usefulness. Because they’re still bringing in some level of income or validation or “we’ve always done it”. Sometimes we continue doing something, just because we’re afraid to ask: “What will happen if I stop doing this?” ## **Going well past the “best before date”** It’s truly sad when something goes on longer than it should. Need an example? How about too many sequels to blockbuster movies? Because if #1 brought in a ton of money, then surely #2 will also do well. And #3. Remember the _Pirates of the Caribbean_ films? The first was good. The others, well, headed down a slippery slope towards falling off the face of the earth. Or TV series that run long past their “best before date”. _Lost_ comes to mind. A story concept and plot line so convoluted it was highly intriguing the first few seasons. Yet eventually became so wrapped up in more convolution that many viewers, including me, had long since left the building when the final episode eventually aired.  Given the economics and ratings plays, I surmise that it’s a near impossible task for a series creator to pitch a series as running for 5 seasons. No more, no less. With a defined story arc that will bring a satisfactory conclusion at the end of season 5.  That would never get green lighted in the first place. Because the execs will want to be able to kill a non-performing series after just a few episodes and extend one that has good ratings almost _ad infinitum_. Because after all, it’s a proven concept. ## **Courage is quitting while the going is still good** Back to the Tribe Conference: Jeff showed real leadership and courage in ending the Tribe Conference while it was still doing well. While people are still asking for more. This year’s conference was in no way a _“it’s our last year, so let’s just wrap it up and get out of here”_-thing. It had as much energy as any of the others I’ve been to. I left with more clarity of what to focus on next. And more excited about writing than I’ve been in a long time. That’s an awesome way to end a great run. ## _Reflection:_ _Is there something you’ve been doing for a long time? Take some time to review why you’re doing it and what doing that actually does for you. _ _You may decide to continue or you may decide to stop. Either is fine. _ _Just be sure you know _why _you’re doing what you do. So that it doesn’t drag you down instead of build you up. _ --- --- title: "Day’s end" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/days-end/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "The long cattle drive had been like countless others. The trail comprised seemingly endless miles of sun scorched prairie. Days went by and the horizon was still only a line, without any signs of civilization." last_modified: "2019-12-24T20:48:26+00:00" categories: [Fiction] --- # Day’s end The long cattle drive had been like countless others. The trail comprised seemingly endless miles of sun scorched prairie. Days went by and the horizon was still only a line, without any signs of civilization. It was as if the land continued forever, never changing. The herd moved in early morning and late afternoon. The men took a break at noon, letting the cattle rest as best they could while the mid-day heat passed.  It was a smaller-than-usual herd that the five men were taking north and east to the railroad. Only a few years before it would have been much larger and the end of the trek would have been farther away, farther east.  Thaddeus Jones, the foreman, often took cattle all the way to Abilene in his younger days. There was even that one time he drove the cattle clear to Kansas City. Not so this time. All they had to do was to deliver the cattle at a railroad depot in a nondescript town far out on the prairie. From there a freight train would take over and in a matter of days bring the cattle to the stockyards and meat markets in Kansas City or Chicago. The herd was still following the trail that wound its way up and down rises in the prairie, when Thaddeus, who happened to be bringing up the rear, was jolted out of his daydreaming. The herd had stopped. Quickly he rode up front to find out what was the matter. “Take a look at this.” Jeb, one of the men up there, saw him approach and pointed to the object that stopped the cattle. Thaddeus reined in his horse and nodded silently. Across the open range, as far as they could see for the rolling hills in any direction, was a line of short poles, between which were fastened three parallel rows of metal wire with sharp pegs protruding from it. “Barbed wire,” Jeb muttered. “Goin’ as far as a man can see,” somebody else noted. Thaddeus Jones dismounted and went up to wire. He tested the strength of the wire by pushing with his boot, only to find it gently yield some to pressure, swinging back as soon as he lowered his foot. There was no mistaking that the wire had been put up recently. Marks of the trail could still be clearly seen on the other side of the fence, leading toward the horizon.  Thaddeus held the wire in his hand, touching the sharp barbs with his thumb. Sharp enough they could prick even the tough skin of the beef cattle raised on the range. Then he turned towards the herd of cattle. The beasts were milling around in uneasy confusion, waiting for what would happen next. “Cut it.” He mounted his horse. “Cut the wire and let the cattle through.” Another night went by on the range and then they were at last approaching the small town, nestled in a shallow valley. From the rise, they could see the town and in it, the train depot.  The closer to town they moved, the more barbed wire fencing was in their way, until they finally found themselves driving the cattle along a rutted road, lined with fences on both sides. One of the cowhands spoke the question that was on everybody’s mind: “What’s all this fencin’ business about anyway? Why’s the land all fenced in?” Several miles of the road were lined with the barbed wire. At regular intervals fences would go off at a straight angle to the road. They passed through this eerie country in silence, all knowing the answer, but fearing to be the one to speak doom upon themselves. The agent at the train depot had no such qualms and gave his opinion freely: “Ain’t seen guys like you fellas for the longest time. Reckoned there weren’t no more of you around. This land bein’ all fenced pasture and feedlots these days. The open range’s goin mighty fast, let me tell you that.” The group of cowhands looked at him with the stupor typical of someone who has just had confirmed what he feared and knew was true, but did not dare believe. Because it would forever change everything. “If you pardon me askin’,” Thaddeus Jones finally said. “How come you’re so knowledgeable in these matters? Seein’ as you’re not the kind of man likely to ride out on the range, bein’ occupied with the freight business and all.” The agent slid his glasses to the tip of his round nose and peered over the rim at the dusty group, displaying his complete superiority of learning. “As the agent of the Railroad in this town, I am in charge of both incoming and outgoing goods.” “Pardon?” “In other words, I know there’s been enough barbed wire coming in to fence the whole county and then some.”  He eyed the men, watching the weight of his words sink in.  “Quite frankly,” he continued. “If I were you, I’d look around for another job. They ain’t gonna need no more cowboys pretty shortly.” “So this is the new West.” Thaddeus Jones had gone for a walk away from the pens by the train depot and found his way to a place where a man was putting up fence. “You betcha it is.” The man who talked did not look any different from the cowboy, except he lacked the cover of dust and grime from the trail. “Fences.” Thaddeus’ voice was low, yet he spit out the words with an uncommon intensity. “Joshua, I never thought the day’d come when I’d see the open range fenced in.” The man named Joshua moved uneasily and leaned against a fencepost. “It’s the times, Thaddeus. Ain’t nothin’ we can do about it.” Joshua looked at the dusty cowboy. “You just gotta understand. Everything is a changin’. The world’s different from when we were young and rode the trails.” “Ruined is what it is.” Thaddeus shifted where he was standing and spit in the general direction of the nearest fencepost. “See how we drop the cattle off in a two-bit town like this and the trains haul them on. Used to be we’d drive big herds. Thousands of heads of cattle. All the way to Abilene. Because that was as far west as the trains went. But that was before this.”  He threw a piece of barbed wire he had been twisting in his hand in a wide arch out into the grass.  “The range was a range then, and not just enclosures and feed lots.” He pointed west, along the road they stood next to.  The road ran nearly straight, rising and falling with the land, finally losing itself into a bluish haze that blurred the horizon. On both sides it was lined with rugged fences made from the same barbed wire he had just denounced.  “Now it’s all fenced in and a man is no more free to go where he wants than these soulless critters. Tell me Joshua, what good’s a horse to a man when he can’t go nowhere, but on roads?” Joshua looked away, out over the pasture he was enclosing. It was big. The cattle it would hold could roam around it, finding grass here, shade there, even water down in the creek. But it was still enclosed. No need for cowboys to stay out there to keep the herd from scattering or get lost. A few men could ride out and quickly gather the cattle when needed. It was a very different game from herding cattle on the open range.  Years ago he and Thaddeus worked the range together. They were always the best of friends and he admired Thaddeus more than anyone else. Then one time in Omaha, they parted ways. Some silly argument after a long cattle drive. When they met again, things had changed. A lot. Joshua was now a cattle rancher of the new breed. He relied on fences rather than cowboys to keep the cattle from straying. Thaddeus was still a free-ranging cowboy. He was the best and Joshua knew it, but what good was that when there would be no range left? Yet the range had to go. The land where the sky was the only boundary had to be fenced in.  The trains from the east carried the change as inevitably as summer brought heat. “Remember how we’d sit around the fire at night, drink lousy coffee and look at the stars, while we heard the cattle shuffle about in the dark?” Thaddeus pinned his eyes on Joshua. “Remember what we used to say? Only the sky’s bigger. That’s what we used to say.” Joshua nodded, silently remembering. “The plains were big then. Open. Free. You loved them as much as I. Now you’re fencin’ them in. Why did you change? What happened to the West?” “It changed.” Joshua looked at his old friend. “Had to change. It changed while you were out on the range. The railroads came. The land became valuable. We can’t afford to let the cattle roam anymore.” He held up a roll of barbed wire. “And thanks to this, it became easy and practical to fence in the cattle.” “But a man has his dignity.” Now Thaddeus was the uneasy one. “You may not do many things in life. But whether you live or die, you gotta do it with dignity. Take that away and a man has nothing.” “That’s not true.” Joshua got ready to move to another fencepost. “Why, they’ll still need good ranch hands. You could even come and be my foreman tomorrow day.” Thaddeus stood straight and looked Joshua coldly in the eyes. “I never asked for charity and I ain’t about to now. You were once my friend, but you deserted the land. You’ve beat it down and destroyed it with your fences.“ That evening a lone man on his horse rode along the road leading west from town. He rode slowly, stopping briefly now and then to take a look at the fences on the sides of the road. Then he continued on again.  Thaddeus Jones was alone, with his horse. The other cowboys, sensing the truth of the railroad agent’s prediction, had decided to either seek jobs in town or get on the next train east. A rumor spreading even to this part of the plains had it that a new line of work for the daring and tough was opening up down Oklahoma Territory way: oil drilling. And so Thaddeus Jones was the only one to set out for the long ride back to where they had come from, to the still-open range. He rode his horse into the sunset, until no more than a little dot on the distant road could be seen. Then the setting sun swallowed him. The grassland was waiting, with silent barbed wire outlined against the rapidly darkening sky. In the heavens the first star appeared, signifying the end of the day. --- --- title: "I wasn’t there — dealing with death and dying" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/i-wasnt-there-dealing-with-death-and-dying/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "A person is dying. Family gathered around for that last, meaningful goodbye. \n\nExcept that's not always how it happens. We may not be there. Then what?" last_modified: "2024-09-20T01:05:37+00:00" categories: [Beliefs, Choices, Family, Hope, Life purpose] --- # I wasn’t there — dealing with death and dying My daughter Stephanie was 7 at the time. She and I had traveled to Sweden to spend time with my mom. Usually when mom wasn’t well, and we asked if we should come see her, she’d wave it off and tell us that we needed to make that long trip from the US to Sweden when she was well and we could all enjoy the time together. But this time she hadn’t protested. She was seriously ill and this might well be the final time to see her alive.  So I planned a journey for Stephanie and me. Diane had work commitments that kept her at home. But we felt that it was important for the granddaughter to get one more visit with grandma. Actually, by the time we got there, mom was on the mend and we had a nice visit for a couple weeks. Stephanie was thrilled with the time with grandma and my mom adored her granddaughter. That kid could have burned the house down and mom would still have hugged her and loved on her.  ## **A terrible goodbye** Then came the final evening. We had to say goodbye and head back to the US. The entire walk to the train station and for a long while on the train thereafter, Stephanie was inconsolable. And mad at me. Because how could I be so heartless as to leave her darling grandmother all by herself!? Surely we would never ever, ever see her again. Truth be told, I didn’t feel any much better. Because of the health scare that prompted the trip, it was even more on my mind than at other times when we said goodbye: _One of these times, it_ will _be the last goodbye we say in this life._ This side of Heaven. At other times, that was more of a mental exercise. A somber footnote if you will.  This time it was a very present reality. While mom was doing okay right now, who was to say that she wouldn’t take a turn for the worse and be gone forever tomorrow? Or the day after. Or a month from now. _Because it would happen sometime. _ Given the distance, I’d learned to make sure that when we said goodbye, everything had been said. _No unfinished business. _Mom knew I loved her. I knew she loved me. Because in life, you just never know what’s around the next bend. ## **The way it’s “supposed to happen”** We’ve all seen that scene in a movie or on TV: A person is dying. Propped up in a bed at home (or possibly a hospital). Very much surrounded by family members who have gathered for that last, meaningful goodbye. The chance for those final words. Depending on the story line and the kind of relationship, it’s might be a deeply meaningful time where last wishes are spoken. Or a tense time where hidden secrets are suddenly brought out. Revelations that will continue to shake the living, long after the deceased person is laid to rest. That’s the fiction version. Reality plays out differently. And not necessarily the same way twice. We may be there when the loved one passes away, but there’s no meaningful conversation at the very end. Just a gradual slipping away into unconsciousness. Or last words that make no sense at all. That happens.  While a nurse, Diane worked in hospice care for a season. She got to see them all. No two alike. Or maybe we’re not there at all. Which was my case. I wasn’t there when either of my parents died.  ## **Reality check: Dad** Dad passed away the first summer I was home from college. Complications from decades of type 1 diabetes led to his left leg having to be amputated. Right before I came home for the summer. I visited him in the hospital almost every day. My dad was definitely an optimist about life. He saw possibilities. He talked about recovery and learning to walk again. So he could come back home to his and mom’s house.  He was only 66. He set his mind to it, he could do it.  Except there were a few sores on his other foot that also weren’t healing. The doctors told mom they anticipated having to remove the other leg as well. But they hesitated to break the news to dad. Because dad was set on walking again. And returning home. Stairs included. In the end, mom and I got a phone call one Sunday morning. To tell us that dad was dead. Massive heart failure that morning. It was over in moments.  _Definitely no time to prepare to grieve there. _ ## **Reality check: Mom** Mom lived another 24 years. She was 91 when she died. Diane, Stephanie and I went over to Sweden to move her into a nursing home after she fell down in her apartment and it was clear she couldn’t live by herself any longer. That was in February, so Stephanie and mom got to celebrate their birthdays together (the dates being only a week apart).  We got mom settled into the nursing home as best we could. When we talked about summer coming, she predicted she wouldn’t be around for it. A month later, I talked with her on the phone. She was in the hospital, feeling under the weather. The call ended with me telling her I’d call her again day after tomorrow.  That never happened. By then I was making arrangements to fly to Sweden for her funeral.  So I was not there when either of my parents died. I also wasn’t present when my grandmother, Emma, who lived in an upstairs apartment in our house for most of my growing up years, passed away. By then she’d gone to live in a nursing home. Eventually took ill and died in the hospital.  At least I was there at her funeral. As well as those of my parents. Since I lived across the ocean, I didn’t make it to the funerals of my aunts and uncles when they passed away over the years. ## **My friend’s mom** A friend of mine was losing her mother to cancer. Her mom was able to remain at home, with help from her daughters and a nurse. At one point, my friend faced a decision: She had a trip planned to go see her daughter who lived half-way across the country. It had been set up months ago. Before the cancer made its reappearance. Now the trip was coming up. Based on the information available, there was no expectation that her mom was about to pass away. So my friend went. For maybe a week.  She almost made it back. Her mom died just an hour or two before my friend was back from the trip.  ## **A failure to not be there?** Did that make her a “bad person”? Sometimes we feel that way. Like we majorly failed the person who died. I went there. Briefly. Somehow I should have been there when mom passed away. What if I’d realized that her being in the hospital then was terminal? Could I have made it there? Would it have made any difference? What would have been said that hadn’t been said already? Likewise with dad. I’d seen him on Friday, stopping by the hospital after work. We talked. We talked more and deeper that summer than we had before. Because when I lived at home, before heading off to college, they were just mom and dad. Always there. Then I went away and came home to a very changed world. I’d changed. Matured. And dad and I related in a different way.  In the end that’s the time I’m truly thankful for. The weeks of me stopping by the hospital to see him and us talking. _Relating. _ Even so there was much more that could have been said. He wasn’t there when I graduated college. Or when I got married. He never got to meet Diane or Stephanie.  So many things I would have liked to tell him over the years. But in the end, all that _really_ mattered had been said, by both of us. There was nothing left unsaid.  Same thing with mom. Though I feel like I had more time to prepare there. Because I knew every time we went over to see her that it could be the last time in this life that we’d spend together. So I told my friend that she was definitely not a “bad person” for not being there when her mom died. _No failure there. _I knew her mom and I was confident that her mom wouldn’t have wanted her to cancel that trip. Life must go on. Besides, I was rather confident that they too had left nothing unsaid or unsettled. ## **Learning to live with dying** Does it change how you grieve when you’re not there for the actual death? Maybe. Certainly can lead to a lot of regret and “What if … ?” It does change how we live and handle relationships when we realize that any of us, who are here today, could be gone tomorrow. ### Life is fragile That family member or friend I just spent quality time with, I may never see again. Because things happen.  It’s not tied to how many miles apart we are. Or age. Friends lost their oldest daughter in a freak accident as she was driving home from college one weekend. Cancer (and other illness) hits at all age ranges. ### Keeping a clean slate and short accounts It does underscore how important it is to not leave things unsaid and unsettled. To have clean slates in our relationships. The lesson for all of us it to keep short accounts. To settle differences and misunderstandings. To communicate. Because we don’t know when it will be the last time we see that other person.  My parents have been gone for many years now. In fact it’s 40 years ago this year that dad passed away. There’s still not a day that I don’t miss them. And I’m thankful for all they did to help me become the person I am today. ### Coming to terms with the unspoken If there was something unsaid or unsettled, we have to learn to come to terms with that as well. One way we can bring closure and honor the person who is gone, is to go on with life. Because we are still living and we have opportunities here and now. It may also take some counseling or the support of a very good friend. But there’s still that [“What if … ?”](https://claesjonasson.com/what-if-if-what/) — in an alternate scenario, if I could go back and change things and be with mom or dad when they passed away, would I do so?  Yes, I would. Because of the meaning of being there. For them. And for me. Except I wouldn’t if it meant giving up other, previous, and precious time we had together. Because in the long run, the most important was the times we had together communicating over the years, connecting. That’s what built the memories and the relationships and that’s why I still miss them today, many years later. Being there at the moment of death would have been meaningful, but it would never define the entire relationship. Nor would it be how I remember them now.  --- --- title: "What if — if what" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/what-if-if-what/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "When was the last time you asked yourself “What if … ?”\n\nIt can be from the past, now replaying in our mind. Or something that hasn’t happened yet. A possibility …" last_modified: "2019-08-13T14:11:22+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # What if — if what When was the last time you asked yourself _What if … ?_ It can be about something that already happened and now we’re going back, replaying in our mind, wondering if somehow things could have been different. Maybe because things didn’t turn out so well. Or, I’m amazed that they did actually turn out _quite_ well.  In either case, I probably didn’t see it coming. Or I may be pondering what to do next or how to resolve a quandry before me. Which leads to asking _What if … ?_ and considering how things could play out. _What if … ?_ can be both excruciatingly annoying and an amazing tool for making better decisions going forward. Because it lets us explore alternatives.  That’s frustrating if doing so keeps us from taking any action or gets us stuck on second-guessing things we already did. That like having a 4-wheel drive vehicle and still getting stuck in the mud. In spite of the 4-wheel drive, the more I spin the wheels, the deeper the mud becomes. Been there, done that. However, in the hands of a driver who knows how to use it, 4-wheel drive lets a vehicle get through seemingly impossible terrain. Likewise, _What if … ?_ can be a fantastic way to explore and learn.  Or sometimes just marvel at how a whole chain of seemingly unrelated things over a (long) period of time worked together to get us to someplace we never thought we’d get. > “I’m always wondering about the what-ifs, about the road not taken.” _Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before_ ## **What if … the past** When we look back at something that has happened, we may be tempted to ask _What if … ?_ How might things have been different if I had done X instead of Y? To a degree, that’s healthy and helpful. We _should _review how things went and consider if we could have done things differently. In so doing, we learn and can improve next time. That said, the past is the past and we can’t time-travel back to change that one action we now regret. So we have to find a way forward. But that is precisely where_ What if … ?_ pops up most powerfully. What if I had acted differently? _“Then I wouldn’t be sitting her alone today. Because the love of my life would still be here. But I chased him/her away by the foolish thing I said.”_ (Think I have the beginnings of a hit country song there.) > “It is a risk to love. What if it doesn’t work out? Ah, but what if it does.” _Peter McWilliams_ ## **Past regrets** If we’ve been on this earth for some length of time, we have regrets.  Could be a small thing: When I was 15, I went to visit the little redhead girl and her family on the island in the harbor. Someone decided to go waterskiing. They asked if I wanted to try it. Sheepishly I mumbled “I don’t know”, because, well, I hadn’t brought my swim trunks. Honestly, I was a bit afraid of getting on those waterskis to be pulled by an accelerating boat out into the harbor. What if I did a massively spectacular face plant? Wasn’t sure I’d be able to stand on those things. (Because contrary to common belief, Swedes are not all born on skis, zooming downhill. And certainly not on waterskis.) I have a photo I took that day of the little redhead girl doing a face plant into the water. I’m sure we could have solved the issue of no swim trunks. But I hesitated for too long. The opportunity was gone. And I never did go waterskiing.  Obviously my life didn’t end there. So it wasn’t a matter of life or death. Not a huge regret.  But that didn’t stop the mental game. What if I had gone waterskiing that day and after a few face plants got the hang of it? I know I totally would. Just as I mastered downhill skiing later on. Would the little redhead girl have taken a shine to me? That was probably never really in the cards. And that’s okay. If we had started dating, I’m sure we eventually would have broken up. Because even then we were at very different paths in life. Once that first _what if _is entertained, there are many others to follow. The waterskiing incident was a minor thing, on one day, many years ago. And yet it’s still imprinted on my mind. What if I had done things differently that day? How would that affect where I am at today? Not all _What if … ?_ about the past is silly or futile.  It can be really helpful to review past actions and opportunities. I did learn something from that missed waterskiing opportunity. Later on, when other one-time things came along, I didn’t hesitate too long. That’s how I ultimately mastered downhill skiing. Or eventually crossed the entire US by train, coast to coast.  Because I asked, _What would it be like if … ?_  > “And what if I fail?” “Ah! Then you’ll have a story to tell.” _Julie Orringe_r ## **What if … the future** Asking _What if … ?_ correctly lets us learn from the past. It can also help us explore options for the future, before they happen. I mentioned crossing the entire US by train, coast to coast. That started as a _What if … ?_ I had to get from Little Rock to Washington, DC, for a meeting. _Check._ I’d done that before. Squeeze onto a plane in Little Rock and land in DC. Or get in the car and drive. For a really long time.  Or what if I’d take the train? Little Rock – Chicago – Washington, DC. And only a few hours longer than if I’d drive and stop overnight about halfway. But I wouldn’t have to drive. And what if I’d make plans to see some friends along the way? That one _what if_ led to others and before I knew it, I was planning a road trip. [Which you can read about here.](https://claesjonasson.com/category/rail-journeys/) Asking _what if_ is powerful and useful. It allows us to explore alternatives. Used wisely, it helps us make better decisions. Because we considered our options and picked the best one.  _What if … ?_ is at the heart of a method like 10-10-10, which provides a formalized way to explore the ramifications of making (or not making) a decision by looking at the impact in the present, short-term and long-term future. I explain the 10-10-10 process more here: [It’s about time _________](https://claesjonasson.com/its-about-time-_________/) > “When you ask _“_why”, “what if” and “why not” you force yourself to explore what’s possible and not just what is.” _Josh Linkner_ ## **The crippling** effect What if can however also be a negative. Asking a few _What if_’s helps us explore options and in the end make a better decision. However, when we run through too many _what if_’s, it stifles us. Or brings up all the bad things that could happen. (Probably won’t, but could.) Faced with an action to take, we stop. Do nothing. Because we start playing _What if … ?_ scenarios. What if I pick up the phone and make that call about a job opening? They’ll say that it’s been filled already. Or any one of a million other things. What if I can’t handle the rejection? Been there: [I can’t …](https://claesjonasson.com/i-cant/) Asking too many or the wrong _what if_ can leave us overwhelmed. Then we don’t choose any. Which is bad. Because we stay stuck. At that point, the answer is often to do the same thing as me, the kid standing poolside, worried about how cold the water was going to be: _Just jump in. The water is fine._ Once having taken the plunge, I couldn’t imagine not being in the water. Asking what if can be helpful. But only if we eventually actually move forward. > “Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” _Babe Ruth_ ## **What if there’s no what if?** Can we live without ever having reason to do a _What if … ?_ I hear talk of living without regrets. The idea being that my actions should be so carefully thought out and so aligned with who I am and what I’m about that there will be _no_ regrets. That sounds good. Ideal. Like a perfect life.  _But not very realistic._ Because even when we make the best decisions we can, based on the info we have at the time, we can’t account for all things, all variables. Things totally outside our control happen. And then there’s regret. Reason to ask _what if_. _What if_ … ? only becomes a problem when we keep replaying events out of the past over and over. Even though there is no way to change any of it now, we create castles in the air of what could have been. And then live as if that dream were true.  At that point there is one more _What if_ to ask: What if I keep sitting here, rehashing what was and what could have been? _While life goes on by and I miss out. _ How about I instead decide to face the future and move forward? Which might turn out to be a great thing. The best thing I ever did. > “Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.” _Theodore Roosevelt_ --- --- title: "4 for summer watching" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/4-for-summer-watching/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "2 tweens chasing dreams,2 retired men refuse to call it quits,a young woman with world’s most spoiled dog,a woman who helped shape all our lives for better" last_modified: "2024-09-08T22:16:01+00:00" categories: [Movies and TV] --- # 4 for summer watching 4 movies for your watching. That are quite different from each other:  - An animated tale about following your dreams.  - 2 retired men who refuse to just sit down and wait for the ambulance to take them away.  - A young woman in crisis burdened with the world’s most spoiled dog. - A documentary about a woman who helped shape all our lives for the better. And still does.  ## Leap! (2016) ![Movie poster for Leap!](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/leap.jpg) This animated film starts with a long swoop down on the Brittany countryside to find not a fairy-tale castle, or fair maiden’s humble abode, but a dreary orphanage. Where we meet young Felicie balancing along the ridge of a very steep roof. Apparently part of an elaborate escape plan. Her best friend Victor is the mastermind, with barely a plan A and definitely no plan B. Felicie and Victor have decided that they must out. Out of this place that kills their dreams and any hopes for a better tomorrow. Out to Paris. Where she will chase her dream to become a ballerina. And Victor his path to be a great inventor. They do make their escape and reach the City of Lights. Each pursues their dream, but things don’t go quite as planned. In the new environment, Felicie encounters real friends, as well as foes. Becoming a ballerina is not going to be easy. Especially when there’s an overbearing mother who will do anything to ensure her little Odette gets to be the star of the ballet. Felicie connects with Odette, a cleaning lady at the Grand Opera. Who turns out to know so much more than just a cleaning rooms and stairs. Victor has his own challenges, but manages to get work as a gofer for Gustave Eiffel, who is building the Eiffel Tower right then. While most of Victor’s inventions tend to go disastrously bonkers, in the end, one of them actually works. And at the most key moment of them all. _Leap!_ is a family friendly story of overcoming overwhelming odds, friendship, believing in yourself and others. Of finding help in the most unexpected places.  All playing out against a gorgeous tapestry of scenes from the City of Lights, with some French countryside thrown in. Some days, dreams really do come true. ## Last Laugh (2019 — Netflix) ![movie poster for Last Laugh](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/the-last-laugh.jpg) When you have lived a long life, what else is there, except to retire? To a retirement community. With other old folks who are done with life. Al Hart (Chevy Chase) is a long-time talent manager in Los Angeles, who reluctantly lets his granddaughter talk him into moving into a senior community. There he meets Buddy Green (Richard Dreyfuss), a client from long, long ago.  Buddy started out as a comedian with one big goal: to get on _The Tonight Show_. Except he dropped the mic for becoming a Beverly Hills podiatrist. Something about money and stability. Soon, Al gets a brilliant idea: Let’s ditch the retirement community (where you only get out in an ambulance) and do a road trip. To New York. To get Buddy on _The Tonight Show_. Because late is better than never.  The 2 men get in a car to drive across the country from LA to the Big Apple. Along the way, Al gets Buddy appearances at holes-in-the-wall, as well as in Vegas (way off the Strip, but still Vegas). All to get the creative juices flowing again. However, Al’s contacts aren’t as good as they used to be. And even his smooth-talking may not be enough to get on _The Tonight Show_.  Plus, what exactly is Buddy’s health issue? Is he as close to the final curtain call as his grandson would have everyone believe? Along the way, there are requisite mishaps. And an extra guest. Al meets Doris, from Kansas, who rides with them to Chicago. This is a story about friendship. About finding your way when seemingly at the end of the road. Long ago, Buddy made a life choice, stepping away from stand-up comedy for the money, predictability and security of a medical career. Which he was apparently good at.  So what else is there for them to do? To find in life? Stay at the retirement community and ride the short bus to carefully planned, non-taxing outings? In the end, Al and Buddy show that they still have the ability to make choices and follow dreams. To do life on their own terms.  ## Patrick (2018) ![Movie poster for Patrick](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Patrick.jpg) Sarah is a young English woman, with a life that’s a bit of a mess. To say the least. Things are falling apart left and right. And she’s about to start a new job as a teacher. The last thing she needs is someone to look after. Apparently her rather wealthy grandmother thought differently. At any rate, she bequeathed her very spoiled pug to Sarah. That’s Patrick. Who doesn’t eat from a doggie dish, but on finest china. Only the best ingredients.  When Sarah protests that she can’t possibly take the dog, the other family members all make scarce. No support there. So it’s Sarah and Patrick. She of course lives in a no-pets-allowed flat. And getting up early to walk the dog isn’t really her thing. It’s also definitely not Patrick’s thing to be left alone in a flat all day. Witness the shredded everything. Her teaching job is not off to a good start. The teenage students don’t care one bit about _Jane Eyre_ or any other literature. Sarah resorts to an air-horn to get the class’ attention. But she makes friends with one teacher, while getting roped into a 5K Fun Run (which doesn’t sound fun at all). And it turns out dogs can have their good points. Even spoiled ones.  Because of Patrick, she meets Oliver, the dashing, jogging vet. And Ben, a very regular guy with a dog in the park.  When a dog-owning neighbor who helps Sarah with Patrick gets evicted for breaking the no-pet rule, Sarah takes the blame and finds herself homeless. Until her teacher friend helps her find _the boat_. Nothing like living on a boat, down by the river. _Patrick_ is a feel-good story about the things that can happen when we step out and care. Like Sarah does with her students, gradually winning them over. Like the new friendships that are formed. And having a dog to break the ice or save the day doesn’t hurt either. Because we need things to connect over. ## RBG (2018) ![Movie poster for RBG](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/RBG.jpg) As Monty Python would say, _“Now for something completely different.”_  _RBG_ is a documentary that brings us into the life of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Supreme Court Justice. But long before that a remarkable woman.  She was one of just a handful female law students at Harvard. Then she graduated and learned that law firms just didn’t hire female lawyers. Because it’s a man’s world.  Maybe in this one case, we’re all better off that Ruth didn’t get gobbled up by some big law firm. Instead she turned to teaching law and also became an advocate for gender equality and women’s rights through the legal cases she came to work on. Not just one random case at a time, but Ruth apparently had a plan and case by case laid groundwork for concepts like equal treatment under law becoming everyday practice. The documentary follows her career and life, giving us a candid portrait of a woman who loves her work, cares deeply about the world around her and has enough tenacity to keep her going long after the going gets tough. Physically diminutive, she’s still a woman of immense stature and we should all be thankful that she did eventually end up on the Supreme Court. Though at the time of her appointment at age 60, even she thought maybe she was too old. Surprise. The best was yet to come. I wish I will have as much dedication and vitality when I reach her age. These 4 movies play in different stages of their characters’ lives:  **Felicie and Victor are tweens.** Their whole lives ahead of them. Just starting out, but what a start! **Al and Buddy have their lives behind them.** Could just sit back and let nature happen. Accompanied by fresh drinks and a poolside view. **Sarah is in the messy middle.** Grown-up but still figuring it out.  **_RBG _spans a lifetime.** Did young Ruth have any inkling that she, one of a handful of females in an otherwise all-male environment at law school, would one day sit on the highest court in the land? I seriously doubt it. I don’t doubt that she saw wrongs and wanted to change them. She took the next step. And the next after that. The characters in these 4 movies all took the next step, whether seeing it clearly or dimly, as in a poor reflection. But they moved out and shaped life on their terms. For themselves, for others. That’s inspiration for all of us. No matter where in life we are. Nobody is too young or too old. There’s something for each of us to accomplish that only we can do. Today is a good day for starting… --- --- title: "Paying back or paying forward" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/paying-back-or-paying-forward/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "The setting: Somebody just did something really helpful for you. Now what do you do? Something equally helpful for them in return? Or inspired to help another person?" last_modified: "2019-07-22T03:11:53+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Paying back or paying forward The setting: Somebody just did something really helpful for you. Now what do you do? Make sure to do something equally helpful for them in return? Get inspired to go do something helpful for another person? _And don’t tell me that nobody ever did anything helpful or nice for you!_ Because at one point or another, we’re all beneficiaries of the goodwill of others. The key question is what we do after that happens. Of course, we can always do the Ebenezer Scrooge thing and declare the whole thing _“Bah! Humbug!”_ In which case, there’s no need to do anything for anybody. Ever. (Although even Ebenezer Scrooge ended up seeing things differently in the end.) Back to how we respond to good things others do for us. There are 2 different concepts for dealing with those situations: - **You help me and in return, I help you. _Paying back._** - **You help me and I help somebody entirely different. _Paying forward._** > “Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by the accidents of time, or place, or circumstances, are brought into closer connection with you.” _Saint Augustine_ ![Groups of people sitting in park](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/people-in-park.jpg) ## **Paying back** The idea of paying back effectively treats a good deed as a debt of honor. One that must be repaid in kind. Can’t let it go unpaid and remain in debt to another person. This is a very transactional view of interpersonal relationships. We might as well keep a ledger and enter debits and credits, keeping a sharp eye so they balance each other. The plot line in the movie _White Christmas_ spins such a debt in convoluted and funny ways. During WW II, Captain Wallace (Bing Crosby) is pulled to safety when a wall almost falls on him during a bombardment. Private Davis (Danny Kaye), who rescues him, injures his arm in the process. Later Wallace visits him in the field hospital and mentions something about _“If there’s something I can do for you…”_ Turns out Davis is prepared for just that opportunity, so after the war they put on a show business act together. If there’s ever any question about why, Davis rubs his arm as a subtle reminder of that old debt.  In the end, everything turns out just fine for our heroes, who get the girls and presumably live happily ever after, that war-time debt of gratitude finally discharged.  My mom was in the pay-it-back camp. She grew up with a close-knit group of siblings. No doubt but that they would all help each other, through thick and thin. And they helped each other a lot over the years. It was all with love, but also knowing that “I help you” and “you will help me”. They all counted on that.  With people outside the family, mom was decidedly more transactional, feeling that if someone helped her or did something nice for her, then she needed to return the favor. There at least had to be the appearance of evening the score. > “Life engenders life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich.” _Sarah Bernhardt_ When I first moved to the US, I told mom how people I’d only recently met, were so kind and helpful to me. And I did need help getting settled in and adjusted to life in a new country. Mom’s response was that it’s really nice when you can help _each other_ like that. Adding that I could help them in return. She clearly assumed reciprocal relationships. But honestly, in many cases, I had no way of helping those who helped me in return. Nor did they expect any such thing. There’s certainly nothing wrong with being helpful to those you are regularly around. Like family, friends and coworkers. Many times, they can indeed reciprocate and return the favor when I need something. That interaction back and forth cements relationships and helps us go deeper with each other. So it’s a good thing.  It only becomes a problem if I draw a line around who my circle of people are and who are outside it. And reserve helpfulness for those inside the circle. If I view it all from a transactional perspective, then that’s very convenient, because I can make sure scores are kept even. Can’t do that with strangers. Within my regular circle, if we all help each other, we don’t have to worry much about scores, because everything will even out eventually. For those who view life as a [zero-sum game](https://claesjonasson.com/life-zero-sum-or-something-else/) (scarcity thinking), it’s very tempting to reserve help and niceties for those who are part of the circle. Who are like me. Who can pay me back. That leads to putting up walls around relationships and not letting those on the outside in. Because they’re different. They’re not my tribe. Nothing here. Keep moving. > “I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.” _Maya Angelou_ ![people looking outward at others passing by](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/small-group.jpg) ## **Paying forward** If one way of looking at how we help each other is about keeping even scores and doing things for each other, another concept is that of paying forward. Somebody does something helpful or nice for me. Then I return the favor in a much more universal sense by doing helpful or nice for an entirely different person. I hadn’t even thought much about this concept until I found myself in a different country, with all new friends, away from home and all I was used to. Now I needed help to find my way around and get settled into the new country. > “In a world like this, you pay it forward, ’cause more than likely you didn’t deserve it when you got it the first time.”  _Mindy McGinnis, In a Handful of Dust_ Why would Dick invite me to stay for free at the house he shared with several roommates until my apartment became available? I wasn’t going to be able to return that favor anytime soon, if ever! Or why would Debra let me borrow her car to take my driver’s test so I could get an American driver’s license? Nothing in it for her. Why did Ron and Betty let me leave my car with them all summer long while I went back to Sweden? Not only did I drop off my car at their house — they then took me to O’Hare for my flight. And picked me up when I returned.  That car didn’t sit in their driveway all summer, where it would have been in the way. No, they took it out to their daughter’s place in the country and then brought it back for when I returned. Full service! There are many more examples. Key is, I kept running into people who did helpful and nice things, without any expectation of me returning the favor and settling the debt.  By example I learned that if it’s in my power to do something helpful or nice for someone, I should do so. Not expecting anything in return, but because I can. Because I have the ability. And it’s something Christ expects from his followers:  > “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full.” _Luke 6:32-33_ Jesus is talking about a radically different way of handling personal interactions where we don’t just keep score and do things for others that will ultimately come back and benefit us, but intentionally do good things for people who will never be in a position to repay us. Spreading the goodwill. A culture of doing good for others, no strings attached. Because good begets good. > “It was a beautiful custom. When a person who had a break of good luck entered a cafe and ordered a cup of coffee, he didn’t pay just for one, but for two cups, allowing someone less fortunate who entered later to have a cup of coffee for free.” _Luciano De Crescenzo_ We all have ways we can help others. Unique skills, talent, understanding, compassion — what other people need. So how can we share them with others and bless those around us? In the process, there will likely be some rewards coming my way, but not instantaneously and quite possibly not from where I gave help. It could come from a totally different direction and that’s entirely okay. I’m definitely not saying to _not_ help or do nice things for those who can reciprocate. It’s just, that’s the easy part. The comfortable part. The one that won’t grow us and won’t introduce any new opportunities. Certainly no adventure. It so easily becomes a routine of mutually helping but never growing. Or it can become a contest of outdoing each other. It’s when we step out and help someone different from us, without expecting anything in return, that new opportunities appear. Adventure beckons. We get to experience doing something without being even a little selfish. You could say we were created for this: To help each other, regardless of who the other is, where they’re from, or their background, all be the best we can be. > “Our actions are like ships which we may watch set out to sea, and not know when or with what cargo they will return to port.” _Iris Murdoch, The Bell_ --- --- title: "With approval or not" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/with-approval-or-not/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Whose approval matters most to you? \n\nThat may sound like a strange question. Yet, we seek approval in many varied (odd) places." last_modified: "2019-07-10T12:04:18+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # With approval or not _Whose approval matters most to you? _ That may sound like a strange question. Seemingly, the answer should be someone really close to you. After all, they’re around the most. Yet, it’s quite obvious that we seek approval in many varied places. Some of them odder and more unlikely than others. _Approval is a funny thing. _ The dictionary says: **_approval _**_— noun_ _1 the action of officially agreeing to something or accepting something as satisfactory: the road plans have been given approval | they have delayed the launch to await project approvals._ _• the belief that someone or something is good or acceptable: step-parents need to win a child’s approval._ We’re all capable of making decisions and do so many times a day. In small and big things. Yet, sometimes we are unable to move forward, because we’re not sure others approve. It may be a specific person whose approbation we seek. At other times it’s a much more vague “they” who wouldn’t give thumbs up. Candidates running for office carefully study polls purporting to show how they rank with potential voters. Significant policy decisions get made based on real or perceived approval from that nebulous electorate. While there is the occasional statesman or stateswoman, who will make a policy decision purely on what is best for all involved, it’s much more common to see such calls made on the basis of how this or that important group may approve (or not approve). > “Do not trust to the cheering, for those very persons would shout as much if you and I were going to be hanged.” _Oliver Cromwell, attributed, The New Speaker’s Treasury of Wit and Wisdom_ For some people, approval from others becomes extremely important. We talk about fragile egos that need a constant stream of approval. If it’s not forthcoming, the person will do _whatever_ they think needed to elicit approval. To be sure, a healthy amount of approval helps us do our best and accomplish more than we thought we could. Nothing wrong with that. But it’s definitely a problem when we must have approval at all cost. And nothing negative. ## **Sincere or not** Approval can be sincere. As in truly declaring something good and beneficial. Encouraging a person working on a project of value. But approval can also be quite insincere. I want something from you, so I will voice my approval of what you’re doing (regardless of what I think of it), so you’ll help me get what I want. Because all I really care about is getting what I want. Sadly, some of us are so starved for encouragement that even that kind of empty approval sounds good. > “You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.” _Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass_ ## **Whose approval do we seek and whose approval really matters** Approval can come from many sources: **Immediate family **— ideally these are the people who know us best and their approval should matter the most. Just because they are closest to us and going to be there for the long haul. **Extended family** — like immediate family, but they don’t know us quite as well. And may not feel the need to always be my cheerleader. **Friends** — This one is tougher. Good friends are worth their weight in gold. I’m talking about the friend who will tell me the truth, even when it hurts. That friend’s approval means a whole lot and will go far to spur us on to greater things. There are also fair-weather friends who have an agenda behind the friendship, making their approval or disapproval less about reality and more about what that is going to do for their status. **Co-workers and business associates** — now we’re definitely in intrigue land. Because there are promotions and deals. Everyone needs to get ahead in the game and each person is pretty well going to put their career ahead of everyone else. If approving of you fits in, great. If not, tough cookies. **Strangers** — Should gaining the approval of total strangers even matter? But it does. For some of us a whole lot. Oddly, we may even care more about praise from perfect strangers than from people who know us. Maybe because we think there’s no “angle” involved when it’s a stranger. Or because we know that someone closer to us wouldn’t be so ready to pronounce their approbation, because what I did wasn’t really that great. > “It is not the being seen of men that is wrong, but doing these things for the purpose of being seen of men. The problem with the hypocrite is his motivation. He does not want to be holy; he only wants to seem to be holy. He is more concerned with his reputation for righteousness than about actually becoming righteous. The approbation of men matters more to him than the approval of God.” _Augustine_ ## **2 dangers, 2 extremes** ### **Danger of relying too much on approval from others** In one corner is always seeking approval from others before taking action. So I’m really controlled by what others think (who may or may not care much at all). Taken to an extreme, it’s valuing friends, coworkers and family solely based on if they approve of me and what I do. It’s the person who only wants to hear “Yes” and never a “No”.  If someone doesn’t approve, then I ditch them and go looking for someone else who will approve. Today, with more ways than ever to connect with others, finding that approval (no matter how wrong it actually is) is easier than ever. Just tweet. Or troll Facebook for a while. You’ll find approval, no matter how wrong. If all I care about is that others approve, then sooner or later decisions I make will actually hurt me (and others). They certainly won’t be the best ones for my life. > “An amazing thing happens when you stop seeking approval and validation: You find it. People are naturally drawn like magnets to those who know who they are and cannot be shaken!” _Many Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass_ ### **Danger of not caring about others’ approval**  In the other corner is the rugged individualist. The lonesome hero, riding into the sunset. Does what he does and doesn’t ask anyone’s permission. Because Individualist. Cue Frankie singing “I did it my way.” American culture certainly celebrates the myth of that rugged independence. There are times when we need to forge ahead without the approval of others. But to do so all the time, or most of the time, is a dangerous course indeed. There’s a reason for getting approval from others, in that it can keep us from making clearly stupid decisions. Even protect us from ourselves at times. We all need that. > Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. _Proverbs 15:3_ ## **Finding balance** The person who generally has a healthy amount of approval from those around that matter (and  knows who they are), is most able to stand on their own when there’s a need to move forward without waiting for approval from others. Put another way: Regularly seeking good advice prepares us for tough decisions we _have_ to make on our own. Example: When I was thinking about going to college in the US, some folks voiced disapproval. _Why would I go that far away for school? Weren’t the schools in Sweden good enough?_ Someone who claimed to know, even insisted that I would hate Iowa. _“Just farmland. No trees.”_ There were plenty of nay-sayers. If all I cared about was approval from as many people as possible, I would have stayed home, sticking with my factory job.  Fortunately, I had approval and encouragement from my parents (which mattered, since I’d be moving far away from home) and from friends in the US, who knew me and knew what college in the US was like and encouraged me to step out into this new world. > “True friends face in the same direction, toward common projects, interests, goals.” _C.S. Lewis_ ## **The God connection** There is one more approval that matters. For me as a Christian, it does matter if what I’m about to embark on has God’s approval. Not talking mysticism and hearing voices. But is what I’m about to do in line with Biblical principles and the guidelines there for how we should live?  Because I am not the final measure of value in this world. There is something much bigger than me. Some people don’t have that “problem”: They see themselves as the end all, be all. The final arbiter. You’d then think that they really don’t need anyone’s approval. Yet, the person in that position is often one who most fervently seeks approval of people who shouldn’t even matter. Because at the end of the day, there’s always a fear of missing out on something. Or not being significant. > “Fear of man is the enemy of the fear of the Lord. The fear of man pushes us to perform for man’s approval rather than according to God’s directives.” _Paul Chappell_ **_Truth is, we all need approval, to some degree. _** > “I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.” _Charles Schwab_ The key is to know how and where to seek approval, so that it really does build us up and encourage us to do our best. And doesn’t get us into trouble. To get approval from those who really care about me and my life. Those who truly know me and who can tell what’s best for me. Because not everything I or you consider doing deserves approval. --- --- title: "The dream of Europe" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/the-dream-of-europe/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Carensa was 6. But determined. She was going to Europe. The land with castles at every river’s bend. And princes and princesses. A magical place." last_modified: "2020-02-12T01:25:35+00:00" categories: [Berlin, Carensa Holt story, Fiction] --- # The dream of Europe This is a short story I wrote while exploring the backstory of the novel I’m working on. The novel (working title: _Summer of ’76_) is about a college student, Carensa Holt, discovering Europe in the summer of 1976. Along the way learning much more about who she really is. She did what thousands of other college age kids from the US and other countries did in the ’70s: Found a cheap flight to Europe, got a rail pass that let you hop on almost any train without advance planning and just go. Where the spirit led.  Some of those young people did indeed just wake up one day and decide to go to Europe for the summer. But for many more, this was an adventure that had been brewing for a long time. In the short story we meet a much younger Carensa, who dreams of someday going to that magical land called Europe. Carensa Holt was born in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, in 1955. Several generations of her family had farmed this land she was now growing up on. Gentle rolling hills, farm fields and meadows that stretched as far as the eye could see. It was home. It was her world. By the time she turned 6 and was about to start school in fall, her world was expanding. Her aunt Sarah and uncle Joe had just moved to a place called Bohemia. On Long Island. And invited the Holt family to come visit for two weeks. So off they went. At first, Carensa was disappointed. “Bohemia” sounded so deliciously foreign. But the town looked pretty much like the town back home. Neat rows of houses. Tree lined streets. She was disappointed that you couldn’t see the sea from her aunt’s and uncle’s house. But the big backyard made up for some of that disappointment. And then they went to the beach. A place called Fire Island. Except there was no fire. Just lots and lots of sandy beach. Behind the beach, small dunes where sharp grass tried to subdue the sand and hold it in place. And a lighthouse. The first one she’d ever seen in real life.  One day, her father took her to the top of the lighthouse. They stood on the small platform that encircled the big light, looking out over the Long Island below, and ahead a vast expanse of sea, stretching all the way to the horizon. The end of the world. Because to a 6-year-old girl it seemed impossible that there could be anything at all far over there. “See that over there?”  Carensa squinted and tried her best to see where “there” was. “I don’t see anything,” she said. Dad pointed to the horizon. “Far over there… So far you can’t see it, is Ireland. And the continent of Europe. Our family came from there.” “But we’ve always lived on our farm,” Carensa protested. Dad smiled. “Yes, we have. I grew up on it too. And my dad before me. But your great-grandfather’s parents came here from over there. From Ireland. And some others in our family came from Germany.” Carensa stared at the far-away line where sky and sea met. It seemed impossible. There was nothing there. “We should ask your uncle Joe about the Old Country,” Dad said. “He was over there during the War.” “He was?!” All of a sudden, uncle Joe became an entirely different, much more interesting person to Carensa. He’d been over beyond the end of the world. That night Dad asked Joe to tell about his time in Europe. Carensa listened, completely spellbound. She heard of how Joe went back to where their Irish relatives were originally from. About him being in Germany. She didn’t understand everything he said. But really soaked in hearing about a river with castles at every bend and fairy-tale cities. It sounded perfectly wonderful. He talked about how nice people were over there. Definitely a place she would go. Some day.  Later she lay in bed, still wide awake. “I’m going to Europe,” she repeated to herself. Again and again. “I’m going to Eur…” Even her dreams were about Europe that night. She was on a boat going down a majestic river. With a castle at every bend. Of course with knights in shining armor. And fair maidens. A place where life was happy all the time. Next day was another trip to the beach. Her brother Jim was a couple years younger and all about building sandcastles. Digging and scooping as fast as he could, while the ever rolling waves came in and reclaimed his architectural masterpieces. Because the best sand, just the right kind of wet, was at the point almost beyond the reach of the waves. Dawn, her little sister, was nearly one and constantly in her mother’s company, figuring out how to walk in the shifting sand. Carensa played some in the sand too. But her heart wasn’t in building sandcastles today. Not when she knew there were real castles, with princes and princesses over there. Beyond the horizon. She stared out towards it until her eyes ached from squinting for too long. She was just sure that if she looked hard enough, long enough, she’d be able to see the coast line of Ireland. And Europe was right beyond that. It was a great time on vacation.  _Until it wasn’t._  One day, Carensa was playing catch with her brother in the big backyard. Jim was little, but fast and caught every ball she threw. Until she really put all her strength into it and pitched a ball that sailed higher and faster than any she’d thrown before. Right through the kitchen window. And not the open one.  Crashing glass broke the summer magic.  Carensa found herself sent off to bed. In the middle of the afternoon, with a promise of no dinner. That settled it. Because in her mind, this was most unfair. Hadn’t Jim taunted her that she threw like a girl and he could catch anything she could possibly throw? At the very least, he should have been sent to bed without dinner too. But just wait and see. They’d be sorry. She would get back at them. With all the determination of a 6-year-old, she decided to run away from home. That would show them. Where would she go? She didn’t know her way around Bohemia or Long Island at all. Then it came to her: She would go to the land of Europe, where the sun always shines and people are friendly all the time. Where the castles and princes and princesses are. It didn’t happen that day. For one thing, she wasn’t sure how to get to Europe. The beach was a good drive from the house. But she started planning.  Real action came a few days later. The family was out on Fire Island, enjoying another lazy afternoon on the beach. Carensa did more roaming than usual. She had figured out that to get across the sea, you need a boat. And on this day, she found one. Just sitting there, right at water’s edge.  It took maybe a minute for her to get into the little boat. As she was tromping around in it, figuring out how this boat-thing worked, the rocking of waves and her moving around loosened it. Water pulling back from the shore did the rest. She didn’t even notice until she was already some distance from shore.  Fortunately, uncle Joe had taken her out in the harbor in a small row boat one of the first days of their vacation. She knew she needed to row. How hard could that be? It looked so easy when uncle Joe did it. The boat went wherever he wanted it to. As she struggled to get the oars pulled out from the bottom of the boat and into position, she realized this was much harder than it looked. But she was determined. Europe was where she was going.  ![Fire Island, NY, sand dunes, beach and sea towards horizon](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/sea-meets-sky-1024x597.jpg)Europe, beyond the horizon, was where she was going. The view from the lighthouse on Fire Island. Somehow the oars ended up in place. She started rowing. Or trying to. Keeping a straight course on a sea full of waves and current was another thing. The shore was farther away now. Even the lighthouse there seemed small now. And the people on the beach were just little ants scurrying back and forth. Yet when she looked the other way, to the horizon, there was still nothing there, but sky and sea. Sea and sky. She’d been so sure that if she just started rowing, ever so soon she’d see Ireland and Europe and be there. She wasn’t even any closer to the horizon. It hadn’t entered her comprehension in the least that she really couldn’t row all the way to Europe in this little nutshell of a boat. Fortunately, a coast guard cutter came along before she got too far out to sea. They spotted her, caught in a current going along the beach about a mile off shore. The men promptly rescued the now quite tired little girl and took her aboard, bringing her to the safety of a harbor, in spite of her weary protests. It was early evening as Carensa was brought back home by a coast guard officer. They walked into the living room at her uncle and aunt’s house, where the entire Holt family was gathered waiting for news, any news, about their missing girl. By now, Carensa was both happy to be coming home and dreading it. Surely she’d be sent to bed for the rest of the summer after this. With no dinner. Probably no breakfast or lunch either. But none of what she expected happened. The TV was on over in the corner and when the news came on, everyone turned to watch. A grave newscaster broke the news that the East-German government, supported by Russian troops, had built fences in Berlin, dividing the city as of this morning. No one could cross. The whole family and the coast guard officer heard the news in silence. On the TV screen were images of barbed wire, concrete blocks and American soldiers on their tanks, waiting. “My God,” dad said. “Will there be war?” Mom asked. “I think I’d better get back to my unit at once,” the coast guard officer said. Carensa stood there, looking at the TV screen. No castles. No princes and princesses. Just ugly soldiers and unhappy faces. Some place called Berlin. In Germany. Which was in Europe. On the floor, Jim went on playing with his toy trucks and Dawn was happily cooing with her doll over on the couch.  Carensa walked to the room she was staying in and hid in the darkness under the blanket on her bed. Her mother came in a little later, sat down next to her and gently asked how her girl was. The girl stuttered, between heavy sobs:  “I hate Ireland! … I hate Europe. It was supposed to be beautiful… Not like … that. I hate it. … I don’t ever want to go there. … Ever.” *** Does Carensa’s experience ring a bell with you? Was there some place you always dreamed of going? But then you either got there or learned more about it and realized it wasn’t at all like you expected? Eventually, in the novel, Carensa does go to Europe. Years later. Somewhere along the way from 6 to 21, she changed her mind.  Have you had that experience with a place or something else? Where the first impression wasn’t that positive, but over time you came to appreciate it? Even like it? --- --- title: "The 64K mistake" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/the-64k-mistake/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Have you ever made a really big mistake at work? One that could get you fired?" last_modified: "2024-11-12T15:28:29+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # The 64K mistake Have you ever made a really big mistake at work? One that could get you fired? Once upon a time, I was a designer in an in-house design team. The youngest member of our team was Lisa, who joined as an assistant while still working on her graphic design degree. After graduating, she became our junior designer. One of her first own projects was to update a conference brochure. The design was all set. The files all in archive. Just load them up on the computer, make several hundred updates to reflect this year’s conference schedule. Nothing to it. Lisa was careful, paid attention and (unlike some more senior designers) made sure to get all the requisite client reviews signed off on. Of course there was a tight deadline, so she had to push to get things done.  Finally the big day came. The brochure had received final approval. Ready to go to print. Lisa carefully collected and loaded up all the necessary files and sent them off to the printing company. So far, so good. ## The press check When the call from the printing company came, Lisa and I happened to be the only ones in the office. The printing people let her know that the brochure was now on the press and ready to go. _They just needed someone to come over for the press check._ In printing, the press check is when the designer actually goes to the printing plant and examines the very first sheets of paper, hot off the press. This is the final opportunity to verify quality and make any adjustments. So you show up, no matter what time of day. And review _everything_ very carefully. If that was my project, I’d just drive over to the printing plant on the other side of town. Been there, done that. But she was fresh out of college. This was her first press check. So she wasn’t sure how to handle it.  If someone didn’t show up for that press check right quick, we’d be holding up a big printing press. With other jobs scheduled after ours. $$ at stake. I told Lisa I’d go with her. Walking into a printing plant can be intimidating. Printing presses are big machines. With lots of moving parts. Noisy when running. Paper sheets fly through really, really fast. We met the press operator who handed us a few sheets he’d just run. There was a proofing table nearby. Those are set up with the right color temperature lighting, so you can ensure colors are printed right. I’d brought my loupe to check registration (all colors aligned properly) and other fine detail.  Lisa did a good job checking everything for her first time. I double checked everything. We requested a few minor tweaks. The press operators made changes and ran more sheets through.  ## Final call Again, Lisa and I carefully checked the sheets of paper.  Everything sharp? _Check._ Colors right? _Check._ Not too dark or too light? _Check_. Everything in registration? _Check._ I could tell Lisa was nervous. Because it’s a really final call to tell the press operator to go ahead. Once the press is spitting out paper, it’s too late to change your mind. The job is running. 64,000 brochures to be exact. I’ve been on press checks where things never got absolutely perfect. I’d ask for changes. Sheets would be run. I’d check. Ask for more changes. New sheets run. Check those. More changes. Because things weren’t turning out just right.  Sometimes it would end in a conversation with the press operator where we’d conclude that this was as good as it was going to get. Not 100% of what my designer eye envisioned, but given everything involved, the best we could do. Because there’s always a limit to the tweaking. We’re so close, maybe a couple more tweaks. But how long will running more test sheets take? And at what point have I so frustrated the press operator in my quest for perfection that they’ll refuse to make more tweaks? What’s the cost to holding up the big press? Didn’t want to go there on this day. Not that it was going to be necessary. Everything looked good. Lisa nervously made that final call. With my encouragement. Just another day’s work. ## Houston, we have a problem The next day Lisa got a call from the printing plant.  By now they had printed all 64,000 brochures and sent them into the bindery. That’s where the brochures would get trimmed to correct size, folded and packaged in bundles for delivery to us. Apparently the staff in the bindery had a question about the brochure. Lisa listened and got really white in her face. Soon enough we had an actual copy of the freshly printed brochure in hand to see for ourselves. Colors were great. Everything sharp. All the conference information was exactly right, which, given a list of nearly 100 locations, is somewhat of a feat in itself.  _Just one thing was off:_ Right on the cover, it showed last year. Not this year. _One measly digit off._ Because Lisa started with last year’s brochure and updated it for this year. Yet somehow, the year showing on the front never got updated. Everything inside was meticulously updated with the latest information.  Just not the front cover. _So all 64,000 brochures were unusable._ ## What to do now? We still needed new conference brochures in hand in a matter of days.  Lisa was ready to melt into a pool of tears on the floor. I didn’t feel any much better. _Such a simple, stupid mistake._  I should have caught that during the press check. But didn’t. Clearly Lisa (and I) had signed off that the job was ready to print. So couldn’t blame this on the press operators. First thing, before even sorting out how this all could have happened, was for Lisa to update the year on the brochure and then a couple people on our team proofread the entire brochure. Just to be on the safe side. The brochure went back on the press. Someone else from our team did that press check. Final, correct brochures were printed and delivered so our conference team could start promoting the upcoming conference season. ## How did this happen?  Sometimes we just see what we want to see. Because everything looked right, apparently nobody questioned the year on the cover. I think everyone focused so much on checking (and double-checking) the inside, where all those conferences were listed. That part had been meticulously proofed, marked up and corrected. In the effort to get that part right, the front was overlooked. I’ve also learned that even when clients are asked to read the entire proof carefully, to make sure everything is right, I can’t rely on them. I’m the designer. I have to review even more carefully.  Even though I’ve spent hours looking at this design, I now must review everything with fresh eyes and mark up anything that is questionable. Then all over again at press check. _Because that’s the truly last time to catch any error. _ When the dust had finally settled, Lisa and I talked it all over. I told her that the fact that we both missed the incorrect year at the press check wasn’t that surprising, in some strange way. Because in our minds, we were not there to check content — that was already done and final — we were there to check print quality. So that was our entire focus. _Silly us._ It still amazes me that in the entire design process, nobody noticed that the brochure cover still had the old year. _Somebody should have caught that. But nobody did._ ## What about Lisa? Lisa definitely learned her lesson that day. Several places I’ve worked, that kind of costly mess-up would automatically have ended her career with that employer. Except she wasn’t fired.  While Lisa was the responsible designer on the job, it wasn’t entirely her fault. Everyone proofing the brochure should have caught that it was the wrong year on the front.  Our traffic manager (the person who handles the communication with the actual project clients), pulled out all the approval slips signed along the way of this project. Everyone involved had signed off, not just once, but multiple times, certifying that everything was approved and no changes were needed. _Even after repeatedly seeing the wrong year on the cover._ Our design team leadership had faith and gave Lisa grace that day. Not fired. She went on to do many more projects and press checks. She was and is a good designer.  Because our team leadership had faith and gave her grace that day. Not fired. ## What about me? At the press check, my focus was all on the print quality. Yes, I probably should have caught the incorrect year on the front. But I didn’t. As a senior designer, I had enough track record I was able to live it down.  But the whole episode was etched in my mind. A solid reminder that I can’t rely on _somebody_. As a designer, I have to check for myself. That doesn’t just apply to design projects. There are lots of other areas in life where passing the buck or relying on somebody else to catch anything wrong will have consequences. Maybe not right now, but eventually. Main takeaway from the day of the press check is that what carpenters always say is totally true: _Measure twice, cut once._ We often feel silly for double (or triple) checking things. But there are good reasons to do so.  The day was also a lesson in grace. Lisa could have been fired. I could have been fired. But neither of us was. Because our team leadership understood that this was a mistake. A really big one, to be sure. But a mistake. It wasn’t like nobody had proofed the brochure. Sometimes mistakes do happen even after we do all the right things.  _And we can all use a bit of grace in life._ --- --- title: "5 summer reads" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/5-summer-reads/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Summer brings many things. One is often a bit more time to read. For fun and entertainment. To widen our horizons. To dive into another dimension. To explore life and ourselves." last_modified: "2024-09-08T22:15:13+00:00" categories: [Books] --- # 5 summer reads Summer brings many things. Often including a bit more time to read. For fun and entertainment. To widen our horizons. To dive into another dimension. To explore life and ourselves. Here are 5 books worthy of your attention: ## **Les Miserables** by Victor Hugo ![Les Miserables book cover](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/les-miserables.jpg) Yes, I know I’ve mentioned it before. But, it’s truly unique. For one thing, so many who haven’t actually read the book, still know the story (more or less). Because we’ve seen one of the movie versions. Or the musical. In which case you just can’t forget the songs and the music. Maybe your first introduction was the _Illustrated Classic_ version a long time ago. (That was me.) It’s a timeless story of redemption, struggle, injustice, suffering and perception. Can a man or woman change? Or are we always going to be what we were at first? I find it interesting that the book’s title in English is still the French title: _Les Miserables_. As if that makes it more palatable. Les Miserables simply means “the miserable (wretched, unhappy) ones”.  The story plays out in a world where it’s ever so easy for a person, already struggling to make it in life, to get caught in an unstoppable downward spiral. _Unless there is some hope offered. An act of grace, to proclaim that redemption is possible._ Maybe it’s the size of the book that has kept you from reading it. It_ is_ big and thick.  Or maybe you started it and got stuck on one of the many exposition sections. Did you know that almost 1/4 of the book is Victor Hugo explaining useful (if you want to master French trivia), but unrelated-to-the-story, facts? This includes a chapter on the development of the Paris sewer system. Yes, a key part of the plot takes place down there, but really, how much do we need to know about how the system was constructed? Another section is an analysis of the battlefield at Waterloo. Long enough to make you think you beamed into a totally different book. If you’re reading simply for the story, you could skip those parts. All of a sudden the book isn’t so daunting any more. What you shouldn’t skip is realizing that while the story is firmly set and anchored in the early 1800s in France, it is far more about human interaction and society’s ills, than about that particular time period.  Meaning that what happens in Les Miserables can happen (and is happening) today: A person sees no option but to commit a small crime to feed a hungry family. Caught, he is sentenced by the book and then some — punished far beyond what the crime was really about. Even following release after time served, there’s the stigma of being a convicted criminal.  At its heart, the story is about change and redemption: Is it possible? Can we change our course? If so, what does it take?  Injustice is still all around us. As is intolerance and prejudice. Which I ultimately think is why the story of Jean Valjean, Javert, Fantine, Cosette, Marius, and the others continues to resonate with us even today. ## **Pride and Prejudice** by Jane Austen ![Pride and Prejudice book cover](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/pride-prejudice.jpg) Let’s be honest. Was the only time you’ve read this book in lit class in college? It was written about 200 years ago, in a very different society from ours. So why is it still so popular that film versions keep being made of it and it’s never been out of print since published? (Excepting a short period after Jane died.) We may not live in an English town and someone having £20,000 a year doesn’t immediately become the most eligible bachelor in the county any more, but as people we haven’t really changed. We still long to be close to another human being and truly share our heart and mind with them. If you aspire to becoming a romance writer, then _Pride and Prejudice_ isn’t just required reading, but must be carefully studied for the story structure. Jane Austen masterfully anchored her story in a timeline that actually works, in the events of the year in a small English country town and in the personalities of her characters. All the required scenes of a successful love story are there. Which is why the story has endured and we keep coming back to it. And why modern authors use it as inspiration for their own plot lines. So you’ve watched one of the movie adaptations, or the mini-series with Colin Firth — as good as any of those are, they’re still adaptations. Go check out the original. Discover the rich language used by Jane Austen to convey the story, moving the plot forward. Connect with her characters. It’s easy to get lost in the world she creates. ## **Around the World in 80 Days** by Jules Verne ![Around the World in 80 Days book cover](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Around-80.jpg) Maybe romance isn’t your thing. How about some adventure and a touch of sci-fi? Jules Verne is in many ways the father of modern science fiction, even if this particular book isn’t nearly as on the edge of technology as some of his other books. Instead it celebrates the human mind and our ability to conquer and move forward, using any technology available. While everyone else thinks it’s a silly, nonsense wager just good for conversation at the club, to Phileas Fogg, it’s a matter of honor to not just insist that it’s possible to travel around the world in 80 days (in the later part of the 1800s). He’s going to prove it. _The race is on._  The Euro-centric view of the rest of the world as exotic and oddly different — something to be tamed, conquered and civilized reflects the era when the book was written. It’s also part of the optimism: (Western) civilization will connect the world, improve it for everyone and bring us all together. (With a touch of _Rule Britannia_, aided by an indomitable French manservant.) Today, when I can get on a plane and be on the other side of the world tomorrow, the challenge of traveling around the world in just 80 days, seems oddly quaint. When the book was published, it was nothing to take for granted and actually duplicating the book’s journey in real life would have been quite a feat. It’s a quick read and pretty impossible not to catch some of Phileas Fogg’s or Passepartout’s eternal optimism: _Everything is possible if you just step out and move forward. _ ## **Doctor Zhivago** by Boris Pasternak ![Doctor Zhivago book cover](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/doctor-zhivago.jpg) The book was refused for publication in the Soviet Union, smuggled out and first published in Italy. Reading it now, a century after the story takes place, it’s hard to comprehend that its publication caused such an uproar. But it was definitely seen as being critical of the Soviet Union, emphasizing  individual choices over the collective good during a time of massive upheaval. Something that needed to be suppressed in 1950s Russia. Reading the actual book (as opposed to relying on the spectacular David Lean film with Omar Sharif and Julie Christie or the more recent mini-series featuring Keira Knightly) gets us the full story, with all the details. Even in translation, Pasternak’s mastery of language shines through. I felt like I was there, in Mother Russia, as the events unfolded.   We dive right into the beginnings of the Russian Revolution, with the Tsarist reactionary repression and excess that brought it about. What started out for many just causes, devolves into a bitter civil war before our eyes, leading to more repression. At the end, it’s a new machine in charge and we’re left wondering if anything really improved from the way things used to be. Regular people are still oppressed — just by new masters. Opportunists in the old system have found ways to become opportunists in the new system. It’s a fascinating portrait of humans faced with the downfall of one political system and its replacement with another system intent on securing its enduring role in history. You wonder where there is room for poetry and beauty in a world like that. And yet, when there is repression, poetry, beauty and hope are more important than ever.  ## **The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society** by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows ![The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society book cover](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Guernsey.jpg) The book that was the basis for the film by the same name. Except the book is totally different. No, not that the story is different. It’s how the story is told.  Have you had a penpal? Where you experience their life and world through letters — those occasional glimpses into a world that may be very different from your own? This is an epistolary book, meaning that the story is told through a series of letters. We read correspondence between Juliet Ashton, an English author, a number of people on the Isle of Guernsey and also some of her friends.  It starts with a simple letter inquiry to her from Dawsey, a man on Guernsey. Letter by letter, we see Juliet get to know him and his friends on the island. We learn their backstories and become engaged with their world, also finding out how they coped with German occupation during the war. Eventually Juliet even travels to Guernsey and truly connects with some of the locals, including Dawsey. Life is forever changed. Telling a story in a series of letters in a very interesting technique. It puts a screen between us readers and the actual story. Instead of the usual description of what happened and renderings of dialog, we get the letter writer’s filtered account. Packaged to be suitable for a letter.  Among other things that means a lot more reading between the lines. I found myself mentally fleshing out the shorter accounts in the letters to imagine the scenes being retold. How did they affect the letter writer? What is it that the letter writer wants to communicate to the letter recipient? What is the letter writer choosing to leave out? You might think this could be a rather sterile way to tell a story, but it’s actually quite engaging and brings us closer to a time when communication wasn’t always instant, no matter what the distance. I was reminded of the anticipation that went with finishing a letter to my penpal, mailing it off and waiting for weeks. Then finally getting a letter back and eagerly tearing the envelope open to read the reply letter. That’s 5 books for your summer reading. You may enjoy this selection. Or use it as a springboard to select some books to read over the next few months. In doing so, consider things like the overall story arc of the book. Pick something different from what you usually read. Just because change is good. And refreshing.  Maybe try a new genre from most fiction books you read. Or a book written in a different time period. If you usually read contemporary books, then some of the books here would be a good change of pace, having been written a long time ago. Or go looking for a book that tells its story in a different manner then you’re used to. Like the epistolary novel. I wouldn’t want all novels to be written that way, but it was really refreshing (and inspiring) for a change. _Most of all, do read something for fun this summer. _It will recharge you, give you new ideas and a fresh perspective. Who knows what insights you’ll glean from any or all of the 5 books above that will help in your life today? --- --- title: "In German, bitte, or maybe not" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/in-german-bitte-or-maybe-not/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Can you spend a year in a class in high school and come out knowing less about the subject than when you started?\n\nIt’s possible. I saw it happen." last_modified: "2019-12-24T20:41:09+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # In German, bitte, or maybe not Can you spend a year in a class in high school and come out knowing less about the subject than when you started? It’s possible. I saw it happen. I started learning German in 7th grade. One year we had a teacher who was actually from Germany. Awesome. She went beyond “school German” and made the language come alive. Then in 9th grade I had a teacher, Inga-Lisa, who was married to a German. Each year she arranged exchange trips to West-Berlin. Swedish students traveled there and stayed with German families for a week. Then the German students came to stay with the Swedish families. It was a great. I made fast friends in my host family in Berlin and went back several times over the following years. ## **Spiraling down** But this is about another year of German classes, in Senior High. Our teacher, let’s call him Mr. Svensson, was not German. I have no idea what led him to the teaching profession in the first place. He may have been just fine other years, but certainly this particular year, he seemed out of his element. Not that our class was particularly difficult. Mostly average kids. Who took German because the other option was French and they thought German was easier. Or something. In our class of 20 or so students, 3 of us had family or friends in Germany and actually used German outside the classroom. For the others, what happened in the classroom was the extent of their language practice. We had the usual lesson components: reading, writing, drilling grammar. Plus audio recordings. Mr. Svensson played tapes featuring native German speakers reading news items of general interest or pieces with dialog. We’d listen and then there was supposed to be discussion and follow-up questions.  It covered listening comprehension, formulating new sentences and expressing them. Even conversation. That was the idea. In reality, it worked more like this: Mr. Svensson played the tape. Everyone listened. Then he asked a question to start the conversation. Silence. Crickets. More silence. You see, we’d discovered that Mr. Svensson had a habit of perfectionism. As in, it’s more important that what you say is grammatically correct than that you have a lively conversation. So after a few weeks of getting corrected (sometimes in quite nitpicky ways), most students in the class decided that they were certainly not going to be the one starting out the conversation. Why put yourself out there to get picked on? I’m not sure how Mr. Svensson interpreted the silence when there ought to be conversation. It clearly bugged him. Sure, the 3 of us with German connections could jump in and did. But even we got corrected. For one thing, my friends were all in Berlin. So I’d picked up a Berlin accent. Which is most definitely not high German, the way the Swedish school system had decided it should be taught. So I got corrected on pronunciation every so often.  Yes, my German friends were heaps more forgiving than my teacher in school. That’s not to say that they didn’t, when needed, point out mistakes I made to help me not make a total fool of myself.  Back to that silence after the tape played. One day, Mr. Svensson had enough. He needed conversation._ Now._ Class time with silence is really bad. So he crossed a line in the sand that should never have been crossed. Or drawn. This day, since there was not enough response after playing the audio tape, he relented to asking us students to just tell him in Swedish what we’d just heard on the recording.  _Ouch._ The bar wasn’t just lowered. It dropped all the way to the basement. In one fell swoop we went from a decent teaching exercise that includes listening comprehension, ability to formulate sentences in a foreign language and expressing yourself, to just looking for the most basic comprehension. Expressed in your native language. _Wow._ Somebody obliged and answered in Swedish. We got through the class. But the line had been crossed. Classes were never the same again. Now everyone knew that if they would just wait a bit, they didn’t have to risk making a mistake and get corrected. Because Mr. Svensson was still ready to correct whatever you did say or write in German. Because perfection. I don’t think I’ve ever been as happy to be done at the end of a school year, as I was with Mr. Svensson’s class. It seemed that at the end of the year, everybody in that classroom left a little dumber. Less able to speak German than when they entered. It should of course be the other way around. We should all be significantly more proficient after one more year of a foreign language. Of course the 3 of us who used German outside school didn’t loose anything. But we also didn’t gain what we could have gained. Because we too had to do what was needed to fit into the class.  I truly wish I could say that one year of German in High School was the only time I had that experience of going into an environment and coming out less able, less confident. ## **Chipping away at confidence** But it wasn’t. There have been other times — jobs, relationships — that worked the same way: Because of a critical environment, confidence just seemed to get sucked out and I’d find myself less confident in how to do my job or handle the friendship. We all know the friend who sucks the life out of the party. Always has to rain on your parade, whether it needs raining on or not. So eventually that friendship dies. Because we need encouragement to thrive. Work is different. Even when we’re working for a boss who does just about everything to knock confidence and initiative out of his or her team, we usually can’t just pick up and go. After all: job = paycheck. That boss may nitpick and block ideas. Tell you work wasn’t done fast enough. Or isn’t good enough. Or micromanages so much that nobody will take any initiative. There’s no freedom to try and fail. As a result, nothing much happens. The worker bees just hunker down and try to survive, lest their careers be ruined. Then by the time you do go looking for another job, confidence is shot and those job interviews are so much harder than they would be if you were confident in yourself. ## **Our interactions with others** ### **On the receiving end** I need to be in situations where I get encouragement. We all do. Nobody will thrive for long without encouragement. We need challenge too. But challenge without encouragement quickly becomes criticism that just tears down. So we need challenge _and_ encouragement. In a personal relationship or friendship, it means being careful about situations that are not mutually uplifting. We’ve all been there at some time or other, when one person starts putting the other person down. There should be healthy give and take. If not, maybe it’s time to look for the exit. ### **On the giving end** When I’m leading, as in a work relationship, I need to be sure to encourage those I work with. To catch them doing things right. Foster initiative. Maybe things won’t be done exactly the way I would have done it, but the key is that it got done.  This also applies in non-work relationships. I have the opportunity to set the tone in friendships and can do a lot for it to be a place that’s safe, encouraging and one that lets the other persons become all they were created to be. ## **It’s about practice** In language class, the one thing that counts above all the other is practice. Because I’m not just going to wake up one morning, speaking that foreign language perfectly. So students must be encouraged and comfortable to express themselves and use their skills at whatever level they’re at. Use builds confidence. More use means more confidence.  Yes, the grammar stuff is important too. Being able to correctly express yourself matters. But only once you’re expressing yourself at all. In too many situations, in school, work, or relationships, that freedom to express ourselves is just not there. And when it’s not, everyone suffers for it. Conversely, when we bring encouragement, amazing things can happen. Unfortunately, I can only try to imagine what would have happened if Mr. Svensson had tried an approach of freedom and encouragement in his classroom. He might just have been shocked at how much his students really could have talked. In German. --- --- title: "9 observations about change" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/9-observations-about-change/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "It was a time of change. It was a time of keeping things the same.“Change is inevitable. Change is constant.” ― Benjamin Disraeli" last_modified: "2024-11-10T03:34:57+00:00" categories: [Life purpose, Planning, Recommended] --- # 9 observations about change It was a time of change. It was a time of keeping things the same. It was an age when every day brought something radically new. It was an age of longing for the stability of yesteryear. The more everything changes, the more things stay the same. We live in a world today fundamentally unlike what our grandparents or even parents lived through.  > “Change is inevitable. Change is constant.” _Benjamin Disraeli_ We want change in some areas and other areas to not change at all — to stay the same as we’re used to. That sounds contradictory and is. But then, we are complicated beings. Who said that life was going to be easy? It would be easy if we could neatly divide it up and seek change in some partitions and keep things the same in others. Except that’s not how life works.  Different areas of life are not securely walled off silos. They are more like your plate after a trip to a good _smörgåsbord_: Full of lots of different and interesting foods. That all touch each other, overlap and blend to form new taste sensations. The more you try to keep them apart on that plate, the more they mix up. In life, change in one area will inevitably affect other areas. That seemed unconnected. Only when an area changes, do we find out how so many other areas are affected by that change. In turn spurring other changes. In short, it’s extremely hard to contain change.  > “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” _John F. Kennedy_ Here are 9 observations about change: ## **The objective magnitude of change** First let’s talk about how big the change is. Because not all change is created equal by any measure: ### **Minor change** Getting a flat tire when driving to the beach for the day is annoying for sure, but temporary. It’s a change of plans. Maybe I’ll get to the beach later or maybe I have to cancel and not go at all today. A small part of my life changed, but it’s unlikely to have lifelong repercussions. ### **Big change** Losing my job on the other hand is a major change. One that will have effects for quite some time to come. May even prompt a move across the country that I wasn’t planning on before. It will include lots of time and effort to deal with the new circumstances. Obviously, that objective magnitude of a change affects a lot of things. Including how we deal with it. ## **Perceived magnitude of change** Then there’s how we experience and feel about a change. This gets personal: ### **The end-of-the-world change**  When we’re first presented with a change, especially if it’s unexpected, it seems really big. _I’m going to have to do what by when?_ The worst, worst-case scenarios flash before us right away. And we know that’s how it’s all going to come down. Because if there ever was an all-is-lost moment, this is surely it. Then after a little time to absorb the change and understand it, we may realize that it will not be that big of a deal after all. If I do A and B and C, it will be fine. We can work around this. Who knows, there may even be something good coming out of all this change?! ### **The tiny, almost nothing change that keeps growing** Conversely, sometimes what at first seems like a minor change, that we can surely accommodate easily, may balloon into a major issue with multiple changes resulting from that first one.  Every project manager knows about this: The tiny little change request coming when the project is almost finished. One little change request. That blows the schedule, the budget and everybody’s patience. Also, a change that is a really big deal to one person, may not be a big thing to another. Because we all deal with change differently. Personality differences, temperament, what all else is going on in our lives — all play in here. > “A bend in the road is not the end of the road…Unless you fail to make the turn.” _Helen Keller_ ## **Change will happen** Even if we resist change, the world changes around us. Status quo (the state where things stay the same) doesn’t really exist. Because left to themselves, most things will deteriorate if there’s no outside input. So it’s a given that things will change. It’s just a matter of how much, when, and in what direction. With a lot of change, we have the ability to interact with it — to direct and shape it. Sometimes we can do that by ourselves, sometimes it’s a bigger thing that needs us to work together with others to accomplish. Some of us desire to stop change or to even roll it back. But, as the saying goes, the genie is out of the bottle. Change can’t really be rolled back. Having lived through today, we’ll never be the same as we were yesterday. > “Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.”  _ John Maxwell_ ## **What we really want ** Because we know that change is disruptive and continuity is generally more comforting (certainly much more predictable), we tend to favor no change or a slower pace of change. Until we get frustrated enough and then demand change at any cost. Because things are so bad, they can’t possibly get any worse! (Although they usually can. _Bigly worse._)  We are often not good at predicting what we really want in the future. It’s been said that if Henry Ford had done surveys, people would have told him that they wanted faster horses, or better buggies. They didn’t know that they wanted a Model T in the garage (in black no less). Because they didn’t really comprehend how the newfangled automobiles would change the way they traveled.  ## **Change should be predictable** Ties in with the above comments about what we really want. Maybe we must have change, but at least it should happen in predictable ways. Manageable. Tidy. Not be confusing or overwhelming. The thing about change is that it’s change. And it’s not very predictable. There will be consequences that we didn’t see coming. Which will have to be dealt with. > “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” _Leo Tolstoy_ ## **The right amount of change**  Determining what’s the right amount of change is tricky at best. More likely impossible. Because we can’t foresee all the possible effects of even one change.  Throughout history, cultures or groups of people have tried to draw lines in the sand to say that change up to here is okay, but not beyond this line.  For instance, there’s the Amish, who still farm with horses and drive buggies when going anywhere. They don’t use tractors or power equipment for farming. Don’t have electricity and modern communications in their homes.  Yet, what at first glance seems to be a straightforward choice to live a simpler lifestyle, turns out to be more complicated. Because while the Amish don’t have cars or trucks, it’s perfectly okay to pay an “English” to haul lumber they need from the lumber yard to their farm on his truck.  And every time I travel on a train, I run into Amish families going to another part of the country. Obviously they’ve made allowances for when horse and buggy won’t suffice. There’s a lot of deliberation going into what change they allow in their communities and what they choose to do without. The point is that drawing a line to keep change out is really hard. And so is determining what is the right amount of change to embrace.  > “People don’t resist change. They resist being changed.” _Peter Senge_ ## **How change happens** No doubt this is further complicated by how change happens. Which can be in a myriad of ways: ### **We seek out change** Some things change because we want them to and take steps to make it happen. So we can control the change and how it happens. Or for some people it’s about just unleashing change and letting it happen, like bursting a dam and letting the water run free. ### **Change that happens regardless of anything we do** When things are changed in the world around us. Decisions made by others that affect us. We just get to deal with it and make our lives fit around the change. ### **Change by ceasing to do** This is a tricky change. Not something we seek out intentionally, but it happens over a period of time because of many little choices that are made and that all lead to a larger thing ending. This is often how relationships break down. Slowly, almost imperceptibly for a long time. Until things are so strained that there seems to be no way back and instead everyone involved is faced with a major change. Because overwhelm has set in. > “Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” _Barack Obama_ ## **The old days were better — less change** For many of us, the way this one goes, is we long for the simpler days of yesteryear, which is typically when we grew up. Maybe when we were teens. You know those formative years when we come of age. And really discover the world around us. So it’s no wonder that for a long time, the 1950s have been hailed as a kinder, simpler, gentler time when all was right with the world. If we could somehow just get back there (without giving up most of our modern conveniences). Except, those days were not so perfect at all. Some highlights of the ’50s: Jim Crow, McCarthyism, rampant expansion and consumerism with little apparent thought about how it affected the world around us — to name a few things that don’t fit the idyllic retrospective view. I also recall how, when I was growing up in the ’60s, the older generation then would talk about how much better things were back in the old days, which for them was the 1930s. At least for the duration of those conversations, memories of the Great Depression had faded. Or maybe it wasn’t so bad after all, but the ’60s scourges of the Beatles, long hair and women’s lib for sure were. If we dive into history, we have to go very far back to find that Western society didn’t change significantly in any given generation. It’s simply not true when people claim that life went on with little change for generations at a time. The Industrial Age brought massive change, as did the Manufacturing Age before it. Not to mention the Age of Discovery, the Renaissance, or the Black Plague. Mostly it seems to be a comforting idea to us when feeling overwhelmed by change around us today to think that there was a time, just outside our grasp when life was simpler and less confusing. So we strive to get back to it. Even if it never really existed. > “There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” _C.S. Lewis _ ## **Change will bring counter reaction** One final thing about change. Because there will always be someone who doesn’t like the change that happened, there’s often a counter reaction. A backlash. Change affects what we’re used to. We don’t like that. So when things change, there’s a pushing back, trying to get back to the way things used to be. Because we convince ourselves that things were just fine back then. We just need to get back there. But change happened because things were not so perfect. Just like change may have unintended consequences and go too far, so the counter reaction tends to push the pendulum too far back. For instance, if we feel that personal interactions have become too liberal, the counter reaction will push too far in the other direction to very narrowly prescribe how we can interact. In an ideal world, the pendulum would find an equilibrium and settle down so we can all move forward and be better off for it. But we don’t live in an ideal world, so we are more likely to find things going from one excess to another. Prompting more change. > “If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run, then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward” _Martin Luther King Jr._ That’s 9 observations about change. One final thought: Without change, there would be no life. Our lives are long cycles of changes. One after another after another and so on. Life and change go hand in hand. The magic is learning to live with change. >  God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world As it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right If I surrender to His Will; So that I may be reasonably happy in this life And supremely happy with Him Forever and ever in the next. Amen. _Reinhold Niebuhr_ --- --- title: "Taxi ride in New York City in 1978" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/taxi-ride-in-new-york/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "“What’s his medallion number?” Debbie quietly asked me. I was in the in the front seat of a taxi in New York City. Debbie was wedged in between me and the door. This was not going to end well." last_modified: "2019-10-16T01:46:17+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Taxi ride in New York City in 1978 “What’s his medallion number?” Debbie quietly asked me. I was in the in the front seat of a taxi in New York City, right by the fare meter setup. Debbie was wedged in between me and the door. The cab driver was outside, back by the trunk, loudly arguing with the other passengers from the taxi. This was not going to end well. A few short hours earlier that night, I arrived in New York. My very first visit to the USA. I was on my way to college. So far the trip had taken me from home in Southern Sweden by train across Denmark, then ferry to England and train to London. There I’d spent a couple days in line at Gatwick Airport to get a seat on the Freddie Laker Skytrain, a no-frills, lowest fare, first come, first served airline. Hence the queue: Each day there was one plane from London to New York. You stood in line until you were handed a slip signifying that you were one of the chosen. Who could purchase a ticket for that day’s flight. That was early this morning. I purchased my ticket and sent Debbie a telegram that I’d land at JFK that evening. Debbie and I had met in Berlin, Germany, 3 years earlier and kept in touch by letters. She and another friend played a big part in convincing me to take the leap to come to the US for college. Now here I was. The plane landed at JFK. I went through customs and immigration with everyone else and then I was out in the arrivals hall, with lots of people waiting for friends and family coming through the doors behind me. Right there among them was Debbie.  We took the bus from JFK to the East Side Airline Terminal on Manhattan. Debbie had made a reservation for me at a Youth Hostel on the upper West Side. Not that it meant anything much to me. We were in the middle of a huge city. It was dark and I had no clue where we were going. Fortunately, Debbie, while being from Chicago, was visiting friends here and seemed to know her way around. So I trusted her. There was a taxi nearby and Debbie started talking to the driver. He could take us and swung my backpack into the cavernous trunk. That’s when _they _arrived. _They_ being a 30-something couple who wanted a cab right this minute. Definitely not in 2 minutes when surely another cab would come along. There is such a thing as sharing a cab, but it was quite clear nothing of the sort was on this couple’s minds. As if we didn’t exist, they started haggling with the cab driver about them getting the cab and him just ditching me and Debbie. After all, we were just a couple 20-something college kids. You know, probably hippies. Especially me, with a big backpack. Looking like I was just back from a summer in Europe, trying to find myself. Or something.  Debbie and I looked at each other and wondered how this would play out. My backpack was still in the trunk. These folks seemed quite ready to just throw it out. Except, that would mean having to actually lift. You know, work. The cab driver did a whole lot of fast talking. The couple did even more. Shortly and in spite of their protests, he ushered me and Debbie onto the front bench seat of the cab. Because, in the midst of all the commotion, the cab driver sensed opportunity knocking.  He quickly started hoisting the couple’s 842 pieces of matched designer luggage into the trunk. All while the woman yelled at him for bumping her precious luggage. Like whatever airline they’d come in on had handled it all with kid gloves. Quite obviously it was not at all to the liking of Mr. and Mrs. Snooty to share a cab with us lowly college kids.  There were plenty of words used I never once heard in English class back in school. If they’d had their way, we would have walked across Manhattan. Or at least waited for the next cab. Yet, here we were — all in the same cab. No amount of trying to be nice, like my mom always told me, was going to break that ice. Definitely glad glares couldn’t actually kill. Our cabbie got into the driver’s seat and promptly put his cap over the meter, announcing: “It’s broken anyway. Doesn’t work. No worry.” Before anyone had time to protest, he pushed the accelerator and we took off into the ever busy Manhattan traffic.  And I worried. Because this was not going to end well. I had visions of us all getting royally shafted on this trip. Maybe he’d just stop somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Yes, I knew this was Manhattan and there’s really not any ‘nowhere’ there, but you get the idea. To this day, I have no idea where all we went. Debbie and I tried to look for street signs when we turned corners, to have some idea of where we might end up. Of course, those signs didn’t mean squat to me at that point.  In the end, all I knew was that the ride didn’t last that long before we stopped at the address of Mr. and Mrs. Snooty. They got out of the cab, angry with the driver. He unloaded their 842 pieces of matched designer luggage, only slightly dented and scuffed. They argued more out there on the sidewalk.  I tried to catch what Mr. and Mrs. Snooty got charged for the ride. So I’d have some idea of what was coming for us. If we ever got to wherever we were going. Which I didn’t know how much farther it would be. But no luck. Too much arguing. Just had a definite feeling that whatever the amount the taxi driver told Mr. and Mrs. Snooty, it was way higher than a regular fare should be. Debbie and I were still in the front seat of the cab. She reached into her purse: “What’s his medallion number?” I read his medallion to her and she scribbled that and anything else we could see that would identify this obviously deranged driver for when we’d have to file a complaint or police report. Just bolting and running wasn’t really an option, because my backpack was still back there in the trunk. Eventually the arguing subsided. It didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that the cabbie had way overcharged Mr. and Mrs. Snooty. Even if you accounted for something extra for their 842 pieces of matching designer luggage. Finally the cabbie got back into the car and off we went down the street. He seemed no worse for all the arguing that had just happened. Neither Debbie nor I said anything. He grabbed his cap off the meter. “Meter was working fine all along. But those two were nasty. Tried to steal the cab from you. Then didn’t want to share. But I took care of them.” He gave us a sideways smile. Like we were supposed to feel better about all that had just happened.  Then he started chatting. Friendly-like. It was a totally different person. Asked us what we were planning to do with our time in New York. If we were going to any Broadway shows, as we drove through a rather gritty Times Square and continued up the famous street.  You know, conversation, like you often have with a cab driver. Especially if riding up front. If it hadn’t been for the image of Mr. and Mrs. Snooty getting seriously overcharged for their part of the ride burned on our retinas, Debbie and I might have really relaxed now. The rest of the trip was actually a pretty nice ride. We proceeded up Broadway to Columbus Circle and further up the West Side and I found myself looking at all the buildings we went by. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all. Except who knew what our fare would land on? Maybe he was just making nice now so he could jump on us when it came time to pay the bill. Eventually we reached our destination on the upper West Side. We paid the cab driver the amount showing on the meter. A reasonable fare for the distance we’d traveled. He got my backpack out of the trunk, no dents or scuffs it didn’t already have. And wished us a good night. Debbie and I just stood there at the curb, watching his taillights disappear down the street, blending into other traffic. I think it was quite a while before we were both breathing normally again. Yes, I was definitely in New York. I’d heard plenty of things about the Big Apple — huge, noisy, dirty, crowded, hurried, brash, everyone-out-to-get-you. All seemed quite true. Full of really odd people. This cab ride was forever etched onto my mind. I was 20-something, with lots of travel experience, and nothing quite like this cab ride before.  Looking back at it all from the cab driver’s perspective (and knowing the geography of Manhattan better), I don’t think anyone would have faulted him, had he dumped Debbie and me back at the East Side Airline Terminal. Yes, we were a longer fare, all the way to the upper West Side. But once he dropped us off, it might be a while of cruising back down towards at least Columbus Circle before he’d land another fare. Mr. and Mrs. Snooty were going somewhere in Midtown. Quick ride. Drop them off, collect the fare and extra for the luggage and be back in circulation. He’d probably have another fare before going a block or two from where he dropped them off.  Of course the best of both worlds from his perspective was to combine the 2 customers. Especially if charging each group as if they were the only ones in the cab. With no other cab waiting behind him at the Airline terminal, that would still have been a decent deal for me and Debbie and Mr. and Mrs. Snooty. Mr. and Mrs. Snooty seemed to do what came naturally to them (it showed that they had lots of practice): Be demanding. Probably got gold stars in assertiveness training too. It just didn’t pay off that well for them. Yes, they got home with all their luggage. But they got the bare minimum of service, at an inflated price. With lots of aggravation. On the other hand, quite often, asking for help from someone you’d like to do something for you, like this cab driver, and involving that person in the problem solving, will get you amazing treatment. Like I said, this cab driver could very well just have left us at the terminal. But he did get us to where we needed to go. He helped solve our problem of how to get from here to there. Albeit in a very unorthodox manner. And once the backseat people were gone, it was a pretty nice ride through New York. In the end, I was far too exited to be in this new country to let that one very strange taxi ride scare me away. It was however only many years later that I learned to love New York City. But that’s another story.  --- --- title: "7 movies about changing the world around us" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/7-movies/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "What do a 100-year-old Swedish man, a boy in Africa, a French pianist, a young lawyer, a police detective and a book club have in common?" last_modified: "2024-11-13T13:37:16+00:00" categories: [Movies and TV] --- # 7 movies about changing the world around us What do a 100-year-old Swedish man, a boy in Africa, a French pianist, a young lawyer, a police detective and a book club have in common? They all figure in stories about individuals changing the world around them. How choices we make affect those around us, for better or worse. And how what we do today, may be preparing us for things yet to come, things we could not even imagine. Several of these films are based on true stories. Some are fictional, but involve real historical events. ## The boy who harnessed the wind  (2019) ![William at the top of his home built windmill](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/boy-who-harnessed-wind.jpg) This movie, available on Netflix, is about 13-year-old William Kamkwamba, growing up on a farm in Africa, in an area plagued by drought. With crops failing, there’s no money to pay school.  But as the drought gets worse, William comes up with a plan (helped by text books he’s able to get his hands on, even though he’s not officially in school): He’s going to scavenge parts from the family bicycle and the local junk yard to build a windmill that will produce electricity to pump water from a well into a home-made irrigation system.  Sounds like a plan. If you’re MacGyver. Really tall stretch for a 13-year-old kid. Facing lots of obstacles. Because nobody believes he can really pull this off. It’s a gripping movie. Well crafted and definitely worth watching.  It also made me think about the things we take for granted in this country.  Recently our part of town lost power for a day. I switched to activities that didn’t require electricity. My laptop computer had a fully charged battery, so was good for several hours. Though the house internet was down, I could still get online using my phone. Also fully charged. So it wasn’t that big of a deal. Yet I know of neighbors who went out that day and purchased generators to power whatever was really important to them. Because we’re so used to having electricity all the time. Having no power, no water, except deep down in a well, hauled out one slow bucket at a time, is a very different situation. William could have given up, like almost everyone around him. But he saw how some things he read in a book could be turned into reality and change the lives of not just his family, but the entire village. That’s an inspiring story. ## Blind date (2015) French with subtitles ![Poster for "Blind Date"](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/blind-date.jpg) A delightful French comedy. What happens when a passionate pianist and a soulful puzzle maker who treasures silence, end up in apartments next to each other, with just a wall between them?  Machine moves into her new apartment in Paris. She’s aspiring to be a professional pianist and plans to spend her days practicing for a big debut. Meaning hours of piano playing. On the other side of the wall lives Machin, a puzzle maker who treasures quiet and solitude. He sets out to scare her off. Like he’s chased away previous tenants. Because he likes quiet. And so we have a movie about relationships, about connecting, about fears (and facing them or not). With comedy. Because in comedy and in life, things rarely go as we plan. Sometimes we have to face up to our fears in the end, even at the risk of losing that which we want most. It’s a thoughtful and funny movie that brings us face to face with the concept that sometimes we’re just much more comfortable with the mental image we’ve built of another person than with what’s really there. But a relationship can only go so far until we truly face each other as we are. ## Marshall (2018) ![DVD cover for "Marshall"](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Marshall.jpg) _Marshall_ is a must-see movie. If you’re old enough, you will remember hearing the name Thurgood Marshall. As in the first African-American on the Supreme Court of the United States. But he wasn’t born to that position. Thurgood Marshall had a long legal career before getting appointed to the highest court in the land. This film focuses on those early years, when he argued, and won, cases that were far from clearcut and far from easy wins, focused on civil rights. All in a time of rampant racism, and not just in the South either.  It would be wonderful to say that we’ve left all that behind us and learned from past wrongdoings, but recent history shows that’s not nearly the case. Which makes this film very relevant for today. Because, do we really want to go back to those “good ol’ days”?  I am thankful that people like Marshall persevered and didn’t stop fighting for what’s right, and the concept that _all men (as in all humans) are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness._ ## BlacKkKlansman (2018) ![DVD cover for "BlacKkKlansman"](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/blackkklansman.jpg) If _Marshall_ was set in a more distant age of Jim Crow, _BlacKkKlansman_, brings us a bit closer to home. In this true story from the early 1970s, Ron Stallworth is hired as the first black officer of the Colorado Springs Police. That in itself is a story, given racism he faced there.  But then, as they say, it gets better: Ron manages to become a member of the KKK. He makes it work with the help of a couple colleagues. Eventually Ron connects all the way up to David Duke, the master himself. It’s a suspenseful story that makes us face a part of not so distant history (given that most of it is still with us) and it’s impossible to watch the film without asking what on earth makes people fill themselves so full of hate for other people that they are willing to truly do _anything_ to hurt or kill those other people.  It’s also a reminder of how just a few people can make a difference for the good of all of us. And that the fight is still far from over. Because we’re still not at that day when all humans treat each other as equal creatures. ## The 100-year-old man who climbed out of the window and disappeared (2013) Swedish with subtitles ## The 101-year-old man who skipped out on the bill and disappeared  (2016) Swedish with subtitles ![DVD cover for "The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared"](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/100-year-old-man.jpg)  2 Swedish films that made a hit internationally. Definitely not based on a true story. Rather consider them Sweden’s response to _Forrest Gump_. And definitely a worthy response. Just like Forrest, Allan has the uncanny ability to wind up right where history is written, and sometimes he helps write it. Or tweak it. When the story starts, Allan Karlsson is a regular 100-year-old man who lives in his little cottage with his cat Molotov. That is until the local fox gets not just the chickens, but also the cat. Allan deals with the fox in his own way: By blowing him to kingdom come, using dynamite he had lying around. That lands Allan in an old folks home. Which is not much to his liking. So he does what the title says. ![Poster for "The 101-Year-Old Man Who Skipped Out on the Bill and Disappeared"](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/101-year-old-man.jpg) The next film follows Allan’s adventures after disappearing. Because a 100-year-old can still get into things. Through flashbacks we are treated to all the international events he’s been part of during his long life, including being a double agent and having a strong penchant for blowing things up. The 2nd film picks up shortly after the first one ends (hence the 101-year-old man). Because the adventures are not over. For one thing, there’s a search for a Russian soda recipe from the ’70s. Once again international complications ensue, both in the present and in flashbacks of Allan’s interactions with world leaders. Brezhnev, Nixon and Reagan are just a few Allan crossed paths with (and possibly also double-crossed). Definitely absurd comedy. Also a good reminder that just because a person is old, it doesn’t mean he or she didn’t ever do anything extraordinary in life, or that life around them can’t get interesting now. ## The Guernsey literary and potato peel pie society (2018) ![Poster for "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society"](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/guernsey-literary-potato.jpg) Did you know that a part of the British Isles was actually occupied by the Germans in WWII? This movie is about that time on Guernsey, one of the Channel Islands, just off the coast of France. In 1941, during the occupation on Guernsey, a group of friends is stopped by German soldiers for breaching curfew. They explain that they are returning home from their book club meeting. Asked for the name of the book club, they quickly come up with “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society”. In 1946, a year after the war ended, author Juliet Ashton, gets a letter from one of the book club members. This leads to correspondence and eventually she goes to Guernsey to write the story of the book club and also the occupation of the islands. But it turns out there’s more to the story than meets the eye at first and her research ends up exposing things from the war that others would rather have had left alone. It’s an engaging story that delves into a number of issues: Why do people act the way they do when under duress? (As in during the occupation.) And how do you deal with settling scores once the occupation is over? We also get to see how very different people are brought close because they share time together in a book club, finding common ground, learning about each other and themselves. That’s 7 movies about life, about people. In a wide variety of situations. Some went on to become famous. Some made an important difference in their little corner of the world, in the process inspiring others to follow. And some, well, they just loved blowing things up. In each of the stories, there’s ample opportunity to ask, while watching the movie: _What would I do in that same situation? And what can I learn from this story for where I am at today?_ --- --- title: "The man who would be top dog, pitched a fit too many and fired himself" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/the-man-who-fired-himself/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "For years I worked an industrial job. Part of a very oddball team. But we made things work. Then Hansson came along." last_modified: "2020-12-28T19:47:06+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # The man who would be top dog, pitched a fit too many and fired himself For 8 years, while I was in photography school and then college, I worked an industrial job during the summers. Right before college I even worked there through the year. It was great, because I was guaranteed my job whenever I wanted to work. So always knew what I was coming back to each summer. Plus it was good money. Especially with overtime. The team I was part of managed a couple miles of conveyor belts that transported raw bulk materials that came in on ships to the docks up to huge storage silos and then from there out to the various places in the factory for production. Eventually our conveyor belts also handled finished product going to bagging or bulk delivery silos. I worked in a commercial fertilizer factory. The job was quite varied. If a ship was unloading, we worked shifts around the clock until unloading was finished and everything better run smoothly, as there was no room for error. A simple little hiccup on a conveyor belt somewhere could literally put 10 tons of bulk material on the ground in minutes. At which point, we had to do whatever needed to get the conveyor going again, because the cranes at the dock were waiting. Then clean up the mess with lots of shoveling. Plenty of good exercise included. Our team was quite varied too. We had all ages represented, from 20-something to around 60. A couple Danes on the team, one of them with a really thick accent from the far side of Denmark that nobody could really understand. The rest of us Swedes. Our team boss was also our union rep. And we had a foreman who mostly hung out in his office or visited other departments.  You could have made a TV sitcom about this ragtag bunch.  Into this came a new face one day: Hansson. He was from somewhere up north in Sweden. He knew everything better than the rest of us. And let us know it. He moved into the break room and claimed a corner from where he could keep an eye on everything, including the neighboring control room where the big control panels for the conveyor belts were. If I wanted to be king of the hill and control everything, that’s the corner I’d pick. Not that I cared. Hansson did. I can’t even recall his first name. Everyone always just called him Hansson. I think that was his way of making sure we didn’t get too chummy. Hansson had opinions. About everything. Which he let the world know. Because he was always right. Didn’t take long for people to decide they didn’t want to work with him that bad. When a ship was in, we divided into 2-man teams and went around the clock in 3 8-hour shifts or in 2 12-hour shifts. Lots of good overtime pay that way.  Being paired with Hansson meant working the whole time. Because he didn’t like to do that _physical stuff_. So the other person got to walk the conveyor belts while Hansson stayed in the control room. One person was supposed to be there at all times, in case of emergency. Because it was the control room. With the emergency stop button. Teamed with someone else, you took turns. Over the night shift, you might even be able to sleep for a good while if all went well. With Hansson, not a chance. So far that’s all just annoying. We got it: Hansson wanted to have the team boss’ job. Or be foreman. I think he really envisioned himself as department head one of these days. But I mentioned that Hansson was full of opinions. Sometimes I don’t think he deeply cared about what he said, as long as he got a rise out of others. Sure, there were conflicts among the rest of us on the team. They could get animated. And loud. But we always settled. Then life went on. Hansson kept score. The port authority had a big construction project on the docks and lots of lumber that had been used for concrete forms was piled up in an empty lot. We figured it would eventually disappear, absconded for private home improvement projects. Our team boss spent a bunch of time in there sorting out the best pieces.  Hansson wanted the lumber because he was Hansson.  In the end our crafty Dane went and actually talked to the construction foreman (which neither the team boss or Hansson had done) and got the okay to take the lumber if he removed it right away. He and I worked hard to fill up his trailer and he hauled it to his farm to build houses for his geese.  Our team boss, who’d spent all that time sorting the lumber, wasn’t happy, but got over it. Especially as he still got some lumber for his project. Hansson got nothing and was upset. He took note. At least once an argument with Hansson involved turned into brawl, involving pushing and shoving. And lots of yelling. One particularly hot summer we pranked each other by hiding on a high perch (lots of them around) and dumping a bucket full of water on an unsuspecting team member as they walked by below. Mostly for fun.  Hansson took that to a whole new level one day when one of us had totally surprised him with a shower. He came storming into the control room and break room with a water hose at full blast. Because a bucket wouldn’t have been enough! Neve mind the fireworks we’d see if water hit those control panels full of electrical circuits and relays. Somewhere Hansson figured out I was a Christian and started in on a long-standing theological debate, to prove how silly all religion is. I didn’t particularly bite, but just answered matter of factly. Because it was clear to me that all he wanted was to argue. And be the smart one. Finally, he made a show out of threatening to tear up a Bible. I told him, that would be his choice. But he couldn’t tear them all up. And doing so wouldn’t change the facts of faith and God. I think he recognized he lost that debate. Yes, Hansson was definitely a destabilizing influence on the unit.  One day, he got really mad. Who knows for what reason that time, but as so often before, he barged into the foreman’s office and told him “If I don’t get my way, I’ll quit.” Our team boss was in there too. The two of them looked at each other and told Hansson that, no, he couldn’t have his way. Hansson stormed out and stayed away from everybody else for the rest of the day. Eventually things settled down to the old, uneasy state of being. Shortly thereafter, I went back to college for another school year.  Only when I came back the following summer did I find out the rest of the story. I noticed that Hansson was no longer there. My workmates were very obliging and filled me in. Back in the middle of winter, one day as they all sat in the break room, the team boss walked in. Hansson had been his old, very-full-of-himself self. The team boss looked at him and said: “So tomorrow is your last day.” I was told the world stopped dead in its tracks for a long moment. Then Hansson picked his jaw up off the floor and demanded to know what this outrage was all about. Our team boss explained to him that at the end of the next day, his employment at the company would be over. Finished. Ended. In Sweden, the law is that workers have 6 months notice. Not that anyone ever gives that much notice. You want to quit, you give a few weeks’ or a month’s notice. But the law is 6 months. So on that day the previous summer, when Hansson, like so many times before, marched in to the foreman and told him “I quit”, the foreman and the team boss decided enough was enough. They filled out paperwork and sent it to HR.  Things might have ended there, except, apparently Hansson hadn’t made any friends in HR either. And remember, the team boss was our union rep. So no help from there either. Basically everyone decided life would be better without Hansson. Papers were signed and filed. The clock started ticking. 6 months later, in the dead of winter, the clock struck. Time was up. Nothing more to say. Hansson was done. And left the next day. I learned that he’d eventually managed to get a blue-collar job over at the shipyard. His plan to take over the world at our company had been thwarted and he had to start over again at a whole new company with a new team. No idea how that went or how long he stayed at the shipyard. But a few years later, the whole shipyard shut down.  That’s the story of the man who would be top dog, pitched a fit too many and fired himself. ![Enclosed conveyor belt, Claes working alongside it](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/conveyor-belt-cj-1024x597.jpg)One of the many conveyor belts, all enclosed, but actually on top of the huge silos, about 12 stories up. That’s me doing routine cleaning and maintenance while the conveyor belt is running. **There are a few lessons for you and me in this story:** - **Make enough threats, people will eventually take you up on them.** Likewise, draw a line in the sand and you have to be sure you are going to back it up. It may not be the first, second or third time, but eventually, you will have to deliver. And then you may not like what happens. - **When starting a fight (or going into one), consider how it will end.** What are the options? Because we’re never guaranteed a win. We might lose. So how will things play out if I don’t win? There won’t be any going back to the way things were before. - **Not resolving issues is a guarantee that things will blow up in future.** Eventually. I’ve seen people make themselves impossible and then move on to another job to do the same there. All through their career. Behind them they leave a trail of brokenness.  - **Don’t get into silly arguments, no matter how tempting.** Proverbs 17:28 says: “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.” Yup, often it’s better to keep quiet. Finally, there’s great value in getting along and making friends. Our team running the conveyor belts was quite diverse and oddball. But we got along and helped each other, at work and in our free time. Hansson’s goal was just to take over and be top dog. Didn’t work so well for him in the end. --- --- title: "A penpal on the other side" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/a-penpal-on-the-other-side/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Early ‘70s. The Cold War was still very cold. With no end in sight. Ever. And I had a penpal in East Berlin. Even went over there to meet in person." last_modified: "2024-09-15T22:38:00+00:00" categories: [Berlin] --- # A penpal on the other side I had a penpal on the other side of the Wall. Early ‘70s. The Cold War was still very cold. With no end in sight. Ever. And I had a penpal in East Berlin. In the capital of the German Democratic Republic. Aka the communist part of Germany, occupied/controlled by the Soviet Union since World War II. On the other side of the Berlin Wall. It all came about in very random way. I was at the train station in Malmö, Sweden, with 2 female friends, shooting scenes for a dramatic short film. (Super 8 sound — this is back in the days of real film.) Somewhere between scenes, a 30-something woman approached us for assistance. She might have heard snippets of dialogue from our film (partly in German — I played a German student visiting a friend in Sweden, in addition to directing the film). Or maybe it was just that a 2 teen girls and a guy with a film camera looked harmless enough. Either way, she asked if we spoke German. Which we all did. So no problem there. We proceeded to help her find her train to Gothenburg. And chatted with her while she waited for the train.  Before boarding, Hildegard (not her real name) thanked us for our help and gave us each a bottle of German beer. We’d learned that she was from Berlin. Cool. I had friends in Berlin and had visited there several times. Had already decided it was one of my favorite cities. It wasn’t until she handed me a slip with her name and address that I realized she was from East Berlin. _As in East Germany._ On the other side of the Wall. Because when I went to Berlin, I visited West Berlin, the free part of Berlin. The one _NOT_ in East Germany. The part of the divided city that the communists didn’t control. But had surrounded with the Wall to keep people from escaping there. > “45,000 sections of reinforced concrete—three tons each. Nearly 300 watchtowers. Over 250 dog runs. Twenty bunkers. Sixty five miles of anti-vehicle trenches—signal wire, barbed wire, beds of nails. Over 11,000 armed guards. A death strip of sand, well-raked to reveal footprints.200 ordinary people shot dead following attempts to escape the communist regime. 96 miles of concrete wall. Not your typical holiday destination.” _Joanna Campbell, Tying Down the Lion_ I had never really met anyone from East Berlin. Sure, I’d gone over into East Berlin on a day trip or two. But you don’t meet natives when playing tourist. And certainly don’t get into any real conversations.  Here I and my friends were talking away with a woman from East Berlin and it didn’t feel strange at all. Not sure what I’d expected people from “over there” to be like, but she didn’t seem _communist_ at all. Rather just like any German woman traveling abroad by herself. I ended up writing to Hildegard and we kept in touch via letters. I knew there was a good chance that letters were being opened and read by censors. So didn’t ask things like: _“What is it really like to live in a communist dictatorship?”_ Didn’t bring up history or politics at all. Just talked about everyday things. To be honest, being a Swedish teenager, I was probably more worried about what things to write about to a German woman with a family. Finding common ground can be a challenge for many reasons, even without censors reading every word. A year later, I was in West Berlin to visit my friends, the Haumersens, once again. I told them about my East Berlin penpal and that I planned to go over to visit her family. That prompted a serious conversation with Mr. and Mrs. Haumersen. They weren’t going to tell me not to go. They just wanted to impress on me to be very careful. The movie _The Lives of Others_ describes life in East Germany to a T, including how everyone was watched over. Here’s an exchange between Captain Wiesler with the Stasi (Secret Police) and a boy he encounters walking home to his apartment one evening: A boy is playing with a ball on the sidewalk. He looks at Captain Wiesler: “Are you really with the Stasi?” The captain stops. “Do you even know what the Stasi is?” “Yes.” The boy looks straight at him. “They’re bad men who put people in prison, says my dad.” “I see. What is the name of your…” Wiesler catches himself. Old habit. “My what?” asks the boy.  Wiesler hesitates for a moment. “Ball. What’s the name of your ball?” “You’re funny. Balls don’t have names.” I knew the Haumersens had relatives over in the East, just a few miles away as the crow flies, but since that was on the other side of the Wall, they hadn’t been able to meet in person for the first 9 years after the Wall was built. They told me how excited they were when finally allowed to go over to the East to visit those relatives a few years earlier.  And that was one of the points they made: Their relatives over there certainly couldn’t travel over to West Berlin to see them. Yet I met Hildegard while she was traveling in Sweden. On vacation. To me, a guy from Sweden, that was perfectly normal. You have vacation, you travel to another country. Easy.  Except the whole idea for the Wall in the first place was to prevent people from leaving East Germany. Exit permits for vacation in a country in the West were, shall we say, extremely rare. Made me wonder a bit as to what I’d find when I got over there. Was I walking right into something out of a John Le Carré spy novel? I prepped carefully before heading to Checkpoint Charlie to cross over into East Berlin, making sure to leave behind anything that I didn’t absolutely need with me. Or that might seem like capitalist propaganda. Eventually I was through the tedious border check and actually inside East Berlin. Didn’t take long to find the right bus to get to where Hildegard lived. Riding the bus in East Berlin was an adventure in itself. In West Berlin, I rode the buses all the time. And blended in. Over here, I stood out. And I wondered what other passengers thought about me. > “East Germany was so total in its totalitarianism that everything was banned which wasn’t compulsory.” _P. J. O’Rourke_ I finally got to the address. A street like so many I’d seen in West Berlin. Apartment houses with 4 or 5 stories dating from around 1900. My penpal’s apartment was a roomy old apartment a few floors up. Tall ceilings, lots of dark woodwork. I’d seen many apartments like that over in the West or in Sweden. The furniture seemed like what I’d expect. Maybe not as spartan as I might have thought.  We visited for a while. Pleasant conversation. Generalities about life and the neighborhood. Hildegard had 2 daughters who were around 10 or 12. Her husband was at work. She stayed home with the children. Just like so many families I knew from back home. Pretty much just like my friends the Haumersens. Mrs. Haumersen was a full-time housewife and mom to their 2 daughters and her husband worked full-time. Last night, when mentioned that I thought Hildegard was a stay-at-home mom, the Haumersens looked at each other and again cautioned me to be careful.  Now it began to sink in for me. What they were saying was that for regular workers in East Germany, this was an unlikely situation. Wife that stays at home. Wife that can travel abroad. Large apartment in a nice, old neighborhood. Might it be that the husband was in the Party or Government at a level suitable to enjoy such perks? > “In East Germany it was very normal for a woman to go out and work even if she had children. A few weeks after giving birth women would return to their normal working life. We never had housewives in East Germany.” _Christian Schwochow_ If so, what might they be looking for from me?  The visit at the apartment went well though. It was a pretty enjoyable time. I was a bit careful with what I said, to not sound “capitalist”. Or, heaven forbid, make a wisecrack about the workers’ paradise. Certainly didn’t want to find myself detained and interviewed by the Stasi, instead of going back to my family in the West that evening. Maybe I had watched _The Spy Who Came in from the Cold_ one too many times? And maybe not. Eventually, Hildegard suggested that her daughters show me around central Berlin (which wasn’t far from where they lived).  ![](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/east-berlin-tv-tower.jpg)The TV tower at Alexanderplatz rises above the modern apartment buildings along Karl-Marx-Allee, East Berlin’s parade street (actual military parades were held there) and also home of the best shopping in GDR. I don’t recall all the places we went, except that we did get to the top of the famous TV tower at Alexanderplatz. Up there, high above the city, you also had a perfect view into West Berlin, beyond the Wall. It seemed so totally incongruous. The girls were very proud of the tower and everything else they showed me and we had a good time. They really seemed just like regular girls. I certainly wasn’t going to ask them what they thought about being able to see freedom over there and not have any much hope of going there. While I was at Hildegard’s apartment, I realized that I’d done too good of a job of leaving things behind in the West: I didn’t have money for the subway and bus from Checkpoint Charlie back to Haumersens. That would be a very long walk.  Actually not. Because while the Wall blocked people from crossing, phones worked. (Go figure.) So I was able to call from Hildegard’s place to Haumersens and ask for someone to meet me at Checkpoint Charlie. I felt silly and embarrassed and hoped that my phone call across the border wouldn’t land Hildegard’s family in trouble. They were after all very nice to me. But then again, did this mean that anybody in East Berlin could call anybody in the West anytime, or had I stumbled on a special line? I think they could, but I still wondered about it. The last thing I did before heading back to West Berlin, was to give the girls all my East German money. On entering, everyone was required to exchange something like 10 or 15 DM for East German Marks. But you couldn’t take any out with you when you left. Just a handy way for East Germany to get hard Western currency. So I gave it to the girls figuring they could get ice cream or something. It had been a fun afternoon. A bit perplexing, because I never felt I could really relax. Always a sense of being watched. Certainly anyone could tell that I wasn’t from East Berlin. Especially when I got off the main, downtown areas where tourists usually went. I got back to the border control point and went through the lengthy process to leave the German Democratic Republic. Then the walk across the no-man’s land to Checkpoint Charlie where an American MP or 2 were lounging around. Near there, Mrs. Haumersen and her daughter waited for me with tickets for subway and bus. Later, the Haumersens were quite curious about my experience in East Berlin that afternoon. And they reminded me of the things I didn’t know about the family I’d just visited over there. While everything about Hildegard’s family seemed so regular middle class in the west (and a lot like the Haumersens), to Mr. and Mrs. Haumersen, there was more than met the eye. They weren’t convinced that Hildegard’s family was just regular middle class working East Germans, but rather had to have connections and be on a more select level. I kept writing to Hildegard, but never got back over there to see her or her family again. And eventually the letters petered out. Like most penpal relationships do. The Wall stayed where it was. I didn’t expect it to ever go away. > “The Wall will be standing in 50 and even in 100 years.” _GDR head of state Erich Honecker, East Berlin, January 19th 1989. _ The Wall actually came down on November 9, 1989. People were finally free to cross the border in any direction, at will. In 1990, Germany was reunified. GDR no longer existed. In the summer of 1990, I was back in Berlin. It was now 7 months after the Wall fell. Actually the very day when the currencies of the formerly 2 countries were turned into one. I celebrated by traveling freely across the former border. While chipping off a piece of the Wall for a keepsake, I wondered how things had gone for Hildegard and her family in all this change. And still wonder if what I saw there was just a regular family, trying their best to be a family and make it in a very different political system, or if there really was more to them than met the eye.  Who knows, perhaps I’m even in a few entries in some now old Stasi files as the kid who came in from the West and left again. > “One has to keep in mind the countless human tragedies that played out in these days. Through the middle of a city, where several thousand connections existed daily, despite administrative division, the concrete pillars were driven into the border, which was expanded like a Chinese wall.” _Willy Brandt, mayor of West Berlin, in speech before parliament on August 18, 1961, shortly after construction on the wall started._ _For more about the Berlin Wall, please read my post _[_Walls and fences — to keep us apart._](https://claesjonasson.com/walls-and-fences-to-keep-us-apart/) _Also watch the movie _[_The Lives of Others_](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lives_of_Others)_ for a very real portrait of life in East Germany circa 1983._ --- --- title: "Keep calm and carry on?" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/keep-calm-and-carry-on/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "It was a regular Sunday morning at St. Andrew’s Church. Except as I looked into the sanctuary, it was way darker than usual. I realized electricity was out. How would this work out?" last_modified: "2019-03-06T04:05:56+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Keep calm and carry on? It was a very regular Sunday morning as I walked into [St. Andrew’s Church](https://www.saclr.org). On the cold and blustery side, but that’s late stages of winter for you. As I crossed the lobby toward the sanctuary doors, I wondered if I’d missed some announcement. It was rather dark inside the sanctuary. No lights on. I didn’t recall hearing anything about today’s service being of a special kind. You know, without lights. Like a candle-light type service. The usher at the door handed me a bulletin. And a printed order of service. Okay, that was a bit odd. You see, first service is “traditional” and they use printed orders of service. But second service, that I was here for, is the “contemporary” one, meaning readings and songs are displayed on screens. So no printed orders of service. Except a while back when the projection system was out of commission. Maybe it was down again today? There were plenty of people around, finding their seats in the darker-than-usual sanctuary. We’re blessed with large windows at the front of the room, so we’re not talking pitch-black here. Just no overhead lights. Only dim daylight. I chatted with a friend, commenting that “Maybe somebody forgot to pay the utility bill?” As I found a seat, I wondered how this would all work out. I’ve been part of churches (and on teams making worship happen), where if power was out, it was an utter disaster. Because every aspect of the service depended on the presence of electricity. Lighting, musical instruments, projection and screens, microphones and speakers, recording and live broadcasting of the service. St. Andrews is not that dependent on electricity. Fortunately. But it was also quite clear that the live candles that are part of every service, while doing a lot for ambiance, don’t do anything for adding actual light to the room. The service started. There was music. Because a grand piano produces great sound quite naturally. Especially when it’s in a spot from where sound naturally radiates through the sanctuary. A flute and drums added richness to the soundscape.  The worship team did an awesome job adjusting. They would have had different hymns and songs prepared for the contemporary service, but now had to rely on already printed orders of service. So go with what was in there from first service.  Can’t really say that I missed the sound system that much. It was just a little harder to hear the vocalists. Especially as members of the congregation in darker areas of the room were struggling to read the printed words and so congregational singing was more hushed this day. Readings and the sermon also worked well enough without amplification. Which maybe shouldn’t be so surprising, considering that humanity got along without any speaker systems at all for thousands of years. Except of course, most of us today don’t really know how to project our voice. We count on a sound system to reach the back corners of the room. Quite unlike my drama teacher in college, who knew how to project and reach everyone in the large auditorium, without a mic and quite without losing her voice in the process. But I digress. **The key point is simply that everything went on.** Not exactly as usual, but almost. Close enough that the worship service was substantially the same experience as any other Sunday. Of course with no electricity, assistive technology for the hearing impaired was not working. Wouldn’t want that to be a new normal. And it was harder to read the print in the order of service. I got good at tilting the page forward to catch maximum light, yet still be able to read it. I felt sorry for people in the back, where’s it’s darker. But some enterprising folks used their phones to provide light. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. There are also other benefits from having electricity on during church service. Like heat. So it will be nice to have it back next week. But the important thing is that, with a few minor inconveniences, everything went on as it should and would any other Sunday. And that was the thing that stood out to me: **Everyone adjusted.** Made allowances for today being an extraordinary day. And went on with what we were all gathered here for: **_Worship._** So many times we experience roadblocks or something unexpected happens and we get all derailed. Put out of sorts. Then we’re unable to move forward with what was originally planned. The day is ruined and nothing is going to make it alright. Except this day wasn’t ruined. Worship went on. Because everyone chose to flex, adjust to today’s situation, and carry on. Like the Brits say: Keep calm and carry on. There are things in life that are worth getting upset about and there are things in life we are much better off just taking in stride. This happened to be one of the latter.  Frankly, it would have been actually frustrating to come to church, only to be told that there was no service, because power was out. Or to get a phone call or text message when in the middle of getting ready to head there or already on the way. When power went out that morning, I know that church leaders were faced with a decision. One that had to be made fast: - Cancel the 2nd service. But people were already on their way here. They would show up at the door soon. - Reschedule. We do have a late afternoon service. But of course no guarantee that power would be back by then. So not really an option. Plus, people already on the way. - Move to another venue. Yeah, not with an hour’s notice. Impromptu outdoor service? On a cold and blustery day? Not happening. - Go ahead and make the best of what we have. Check. We can do that. Gather up the orders of service from 1st service. Carry on. I’m so glad someone in leadership didn’t just panic and decide to call off service at the last minute. Instead, we had a great worship service that was just a little more memorable for not being exactly like every other Sunday. And it brought a realization that we, as a body of believers in this church, are not so dependent on technology that we can’t worship our God when said technology doesn’t cooperate. That we’re all able to go on and do so quite nicely. Life is a beautiful thing. But also full of little surprises. When we can flex and adjust for occasional road bumps or imperfections, we’re much better off for it. **_Reflection:_** _Imagine that you were in charge at the church when power went out. How would your have reacted? Would you have made a different decision than to go ahead with a worship service, sans electricity?_ --- --- title: "To be or not to be — or rather: to live or to exist" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/to-be-or-not-to-be/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "We each have so many years (which we don’t know up front) and then we’re done.\n\n“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something.” ―Winston S. Churchill" last_modified: "2024-11-10T03:49:18+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # To be or not to be — or rather: to live or to exist I have an embroidered picture that shows the ascent and descent of life, by decade. How we go through life and eventually pass away. My grandmother embroidered it. Each time I see it, it’s a reminder of her. But also of life’s temporariness — of how short our time on earth is. And then we’re gone. We each have so many years (which we don’t know up front) and then we’re done. > “It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something.” _Winston S. Churchill_ ## **To live or to exist** We do have a choice for those years on earth: we can live them or we can exist. To **live** them meaning participating in life, shaping it. Diving in and being active in life, in large things and small things. To **exist** implies doing the minimum required each day. Not really engaging. Mostly just complaining about the state of things. Kind of float through, not making waves. In the end, barely noticed. _Must have left my house at eight, because I always do My train, I’m certain, left the station just when it was due I must have read the morning paper going into town_ ABBA in the song _The Day Before You Came_ Or we can live life throughout our lifespan. We can engage with the world, connect with others. Help, encourage and grow life around us. > “Musicians must make music, artists must paint, poets must write if they are ultimately to be at peace with themselves. What humans can be, they must be.” _Abraham Maslow_ I know, it can sound terribly simplistic: One is selfish, inward focusing. The other a do-gooder, always thinking of others first and certain to get a prize for being the most unselfish person that century.  In other words, we can be Henry F. Potter or George Bailey. (To go with an _It’s a Wonderful Life _theme.) Except even that contrast doesn’t quite hit the mark. Because Henry Potter was quite driven. He didn’t get out of bed in the morning going “I’ll just chill today and float along.” He was focused on becoming, and then making sure he stayed, the richest, most powerful, man in town. That takes a lot of effort. > “The human race is a monotonous affair. Most people spend the greatest part of their time working in order to live, and what little freedom remains so fills them with fear that they seek out any and every means to be rid of it.” _Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, The Sorrows of Young Werther_ ## **The tale of Frederick** There are also people like Frederick (not a real name, made-up person, to illustrate a point): He gets up in the morning, goes to work, does his job (mostly). Goes home at night, does family things and goes to sleep. For decades. Then work is over. He is told it’s time to retire. They even throw a party to send him off.  Now he’s retired. He’s saved up some money, so might travel a bit. Or maybe not. Because going off to foreign places would just be terribly inconvenient and the food’s probably pretty bad.  Better stay around home. There are grandkids, but let’s not get involved. Because Frederick is glad his own kids are grown and gone. Although rather grumpy about them no longer paying attention and listening to him. Grandkids are noisy, disruptive. Full of impertinent questions. Besides, they represent a world that has moved on.  Sorry if that sounds a wee bit depressing, but seriously, there are many folks like Frederick who go through life and wonder what the point of it all was. They came into the world alone and leave it alone. Not much missed and whatever they did accomplish probably has already been replaced with newer accomplishments. > There are two great days in a person’s life: the day we are born, and the day we discover why. _William Barclay_ ## **The tale of living** Living is also about getting up in the morning and going to work. Because we all have to make a living. So there are lots of days to get through. What matters is what we do with those days. The person pursuing life is looking for points of connection in each day: How can I connect with and interact with another person in a meaningful way? That will leave one or both of us better off? How can I at the end of today, leave the world around me (the little slice that I interact with) better off? How can I brighten it a bit for myself and for those around me? What can I do to help and encourage those around me?  There may be absolutely no benefit for me visible in that process. That’s kind of the point: Doing things that are good and right for others, without just thinking about how it can benefit me.  Reminds me of a sales training I went to. Because we expect sales training to be about how to convince the mark (sorry — prospective customer) that they desperately have to have Widget X when they really don’t need any more widgets at all. But we want to sell so we make the money. Because that’s what it’s all about. Except, as this particular sales training went, it’s not. Rather, it focused on helping a prospective customer figure out what they really need (if anything at all) and then getting them that. Which may even be something I don’t sell. But maybe I can get them in touch with somebody who does. A version of _Miracle on 34__th__ Street_ where Macy’s told their customers where to go find items they didn’t have. Counter-intuitive to be sure. Because what am I going to get out of it? I have to eat too. It sounds awfully cliche, but there’s a lot of truth in “no man is truly alone who has friends.” We might deduce that it’s all about being popular and having lots of friends. So lots of parties and lots of spending to get people to hang out with you. But it’s really about true friends: The ones who will be there when there’s a need.  And we may not even know who they are. ## **My mom** My mom was raised in a small town in Sweden. She moved a handful of times, but basically lived her whole life in a 20 mile radius. Her big adventure was traveling to the US for Diane’s and my wedding. She declared that was a wonderful trip, but it was then up to us to come see her. She was done traveling far and wide.  She didn’t have a huge circle of friends. She did stay closely connected with her family and friends though. Even so, her influence is felt far away from where she lived today. Because she helped shape me, my wife and our daughter into who we are today. Her name isn’t on a big building, so eventually nobody will likely remember her where she lived. But it’s in the end not about having your name on a building or road. In fact, we drive down roads and streets every day that are named for somebody and we have no idea who that person was or what they did that got a thoroughfare named after them. > “The best way to lengthen out our days is to walk steadily and with a purpose.” _Charles Dickens_ ## **The girl in the wheelchair** I was visiting a friend who’d retired after many years providing services for disabled college students. She’d told me a bit about her work and I instinctively knew that it was important and could make a huge difference as to whether a student even got a college education or not. And what the whole rest of their life became. I just didn’t realize how big of an impact, until we were walking downtown and a young lady in a wheelchair came by. My friend talked with her for a few minutes and after she left, explained that the young lady was a student she’d worked with.  Watching the exchange between them, it was so clear that the young lady was excited about her study progress and what that was equipping her for. Maybe she was just really self-motivated. But just as likely, my friend had helped her along, encouraging her, setting her up to succeed in studies, while grasping a vision of a whole life ahead. > “The purpose of life is to contribute in some way to making things better.” _Robert F. Kennedy_ Life is a funny thing. It seemingly comes with no instruction manual. We’re just thrown into it and get to figure it out as we go. But we make choices all through it. We can hunker down, do as little as possible, collect the gold watch (if we hang in long enough and it’s offered), retire and sit on the sidelines, watching life ebb. Or we can be active participants at every stage, doing what’s in our power to make things around us better. I can’t fix all the issues in this world. But I can fix a few. We can settle and kind of slide through. Or we can engage with life. Connect and be part of something much bigger than ourselves.  In the end of course it comes down to what we believe the meaning of life is. If we really think there’s nothing more to it than that we’re randomly born, live and die, then settling and being Archie Bunker for 70 or 80 years is … well, honestly, still pretty miserable. ## **It’s not over until…** And if there’s more to it. If it really isn’t over when we die. If dying is completing one stage of being and moving into another, then we have quite possibly just wasted a key stage if all we did was exist while here on earth. If we didn’t engage with life.  > “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” _Ralph Waldo Emerson_ The Bible talks about laying up treasures in heaven and it’s always in terms of how we engage with people around us here and now. Maybe there’s really something to that. Something worth exploring and even changing how we live now for. Because 70, 80 or 90 years can seem like a really long time. But it’s nothing compared with an eternity where we regret not having spent those fleeting years more wisely, more connected with others, more focused on improving life for those around us and thereby, quite incidentally, for ourselves. _You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Psalm 139:1-3_ > “It is not that we have so little time but that we lose so much. … The life we receive is not short but we make it so; we are not ill provided but use what we have wastefully.” _Lucius Annaeus Seneca, On the Shortness of Life_ --- --- title: "Welcome to serendipity" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/welcome-to-serendipity/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Happy accidents. Chance encounters or events that lead to things we couldn’t have imagined.\n\n“Serendipity is the faculty of finding things we did not know we were looking for.” — Glauco Ortolano" last_modified: "2024-09-20T00:55:23+00:00" categories: [Beliefs, Choices, Life purpose, Planning] --- # Welcome to serendipity Happy accidents. Chance encounters or events that lead to things we couldn’t have imagined. > “Serendipity is the faculty of finding things we did not know we were looking for.”      Glauco Ortolano ## **A definition** The dictionary says serendipity is the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. Synonyms: chance, happy chance, accident, happy accident, fluke. Note that the connotation is always of something that is happy.  Let’s make that clear. We wouldn’t refer to two cars crashing into each other in an intersection as serendipity. That is not a happy accident. Unless of course it’s a romantic movie and that’s how the guy and gal first meet. In which case it could totally be serendipity. But I digress. Speaking of movies, there’s a 2001 movie called **_Serendipity_** with Kate Beckinsale and John Cusak.  Two strangers, Jonathan and Sara, meet in New York when they both try to purchase the same pair of gloves. He’s attracted to her, but she’s not so sure. So instead of exchanging contact info, she has him write his name and phone number on a $5 bill that she promptly uses to pay a street vendor with.  Next she writes her name and phone number in a book that she will sell to a used book store. The idea is that if either of those items ever turn up in the other person’s hands, then their relationship was meant to be. Years go by and nothing turns up. Both are engaged to other people, but not really sure, and haven’t forgotten that one meeting. So each sets out to try to find the other person. Entertaining as a romantic movie. Especially when the movie features scenes from the real life Serendipity 3 restaurant. The movie has a totally serendipitous beginning. Later it gets more complicated, because, well, the characters really push the limits on fate. Like how far can we push back on that happy accident? Because there may not be a 2nd chance… > “Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.” _Emery Allen_ ## **What about serendipity in real life? ** Is there such a thing and should we even care? If you’re Scrooge from a Christmas Carol, you might be tempted to respond with a solid “Bah Humbug.” Because you’d say that there are no happy accidents that were meant to be in the scheme of the universe. There are just encounters and no particular reason. We can take them or leave them and it doesn’t make any much difference. I tend to believe in the serendipity factor. The way I see it, life is full of happy accidents. The real question is what are we going to do with them? Because a chance encounter can lead to great things — like a lifelong friendship or an unexpected business opportunity. Or it can be ignored and lead to exactly nothing. > “Vital lives are about action. You can’t feel warmth unless you create it, can’t feel delight until you play, can’t know serendipity unless you risk.” _Joan Erickson_ ## **What is serendipity?** One way is to say it’s fate. It was ordained by the universe, the gods, God, karma, the stars. The further discussion depends on how you understand the universe:  - An impersonal force that nevertheless is moving people and events in certain directions. - A collection of gods, often in competition with each other, more or less randomly affecting people’s lives. - The personal God of Christianity who knows each of us and directs our lives towards a higher goal. - Randomness. With no particular meaning. If it becomes meaningful or not is up to how we interpret it. While it might make me happy to find meaning in this random encounter, in the overall scope of the universe, it really doesn’t matter. Go one way or the other. But life is short and soon over.  That last one sounds a lot like the famous lines by Shakespeare:  _“Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.”_ A professor of religion once once quoted those lines and commented to me: “Most people can’t live that way.” Which is true. Because depressing. No happy accidents. On the other hand, if there is a higher purpose going on… If there’s something more than nothing out there in the universe… Then maybe events happen for a reason.  ## **Can we ignore serendipity?** So serendipity happens. Got it. But what if we choose to ignore it? Will that wreck our lives forever? Strong believers in Fate and with view of the universe where we are all on different, pre-set paths, would say: “No, we can’t ignore it.” Because it’s Fate and what happens, happens. That’s life and we just have to get used to it. Life is something that happens to us. Not for us or by us. A different understanding of the universe, assuming more agency for each of us (free will and ability to make choices), would say: “Yes, we can choose to go with it or ignore it.” Both are valid options.  I am in the camp of choices and that we can indeed choose to ignore serendipity when she comes knocking on the door. That would mean we miss out on whatever the opportunity was. If we choose to accept, we move forward in a new direction. If not, we may never even know what we missed out on. Or we may years later regret not exploring an opportunity presented. > “There isn’t any questioning the fact that some people enter your life, at the exact point of need, want or desire – it’s sometimes a coincidence and most times fate, but whatever it is, I am certain it came to make me smile.”  Nikki Rowe ## **Serendipity as a jumping off point** I used to not think much about serendipity. Until a few things happened that I couldn’t have planned if I’d tried. [Like an encounter in Berlin in August 1975.](https://claesjonasson.com/a-moment-that-changed-everything/) Totally chance and yet life-changing.  I see serendipity at work almost daily. It may be doing research on a project and totally randomly running across information that turns out to be pivotal. But it wasn’t what I was looking for. I just chanced across it. It may going to the store like I do every week and this one time running into a person I haven’t seen for a long time and in the brief conversation that follows getting a lead on a business opportunity. I wasn’t looking for anything like that in the cereal aisle and yet, there it was. One way to think of serendipity is that it’s an introduction by the universe. Like when a friend sends an email to me and another person and says: “Claes and Mike, you have so much in common. You need to connect and talk.” Which I can follow up on or ignore. Maybe something will come out of that and maybe not. Definitely nothing if I don’t respond. That’s a key aspect of serendipity: We have to pay attention and respond affirmatively when opportunity knocks. There has to be a “yes, and …” to initiate conversation and keep it moving. This is where my attitude plays in. If my worldview is that serendipity is a factor in our lives, then I’ll look for or at least be open to those moments so I’ll recognize one when it happens. Even if it seems outside the usual box. On the other hand, if serendipity is not part of my worldview, then I won’t be open to those moments and unlikely to recognize it when it happens. Life will go on and I can truthfully say that “nothing out of the ordinary ever happens here.” One of the hallmarks of serendipity is that it doesn’t come with a Jumbotron to announce it. Rather it’s a whisper. Even if I recognize what’s happening at that moment as unique and fortuitous, I most likely have no idea where this could lead. It’s as if I’ve just seen the tiny tip of an iceberg. What’s hidden below the surface could be small, big or absolutely huge. I won’t know until much later, after stepping out and taking the risk to explore it more. > “Most of us have one big idea at some point in our lives. That Eureka! moment. It comes to us all in different ways, often by chance of serendipity.” _Peter James_ ## **It’s risky — it’s taking a chance** There is risk involved with serendipity. Because it’s stepping into something unknown. Out of my comfort zone. It could turn out to be nothing. It could even end badly. Or it could turn into the opportunity of a lifetime. The thing is that if we always only go with what’s known and safe, we won’t get very far. Because that’s a very limited box. But outside the box is the world. Possibilities we haven’t yet imagined. The thing is, you can’t methodically explore things you don’t know. Which is why many significant scientific discoveries were by “accident”. The researchers were looking for something else or made a mistake in the process and as a result discovered something they weren’t even looking for.  > “Synergy and serendipity often play a big part in medical and scientific advances.” _Julie Bishop_ In 1968, Dr. Spencer Silver at the 3M Company, was experimenting to develop a super-strong adhesive when he came up with a really weak one instead. What do you do with a glue that doesn’t stick much? Certainly not permanently? Along came Art Fry, who had a problem with his bookmarks falling out of place when he was singing in church choir. Because he worked with Dr. Silver, he knew of that tacky adhesive and used some on his bookmarks. Now he could place them where he wanted. They stuck. But could be repositioned with no problem. Life was good. Or not. In 1977, when 3M tried to market these newfangled adhesive (yet removable) notes, they were not a success. It required much more work before the product took off in 1980. Eventually Post-it® Notes went on to be on every desk. The canary-yellow color of those Post-it Notes was a happy accident too. The first product samples were made using canary-yellow scrap paper that happened to be available. In this real-life lesson on serendipity, we see all the hallmarks of a true happy accident: When that weak glue was first discovered, it wasn’t what they were looking for. It would have been so easy to ignore it and focus on the real goal. But somebody saw some kind of potential in that new accidental discovery and kept coming back to it.  Yet it took somebody different to come up with a use for it. And stepping out to test it. Turned out it worked there.  However, that was one person’s experience. It took much more effort to turn this into a product and I’m pretty sure that neither of the inventors had any idea just how big this would become. Because you can’t predict serendipity. I mentioned my chance meeting in Berlin in August 1975. By all rights, it should have been just an afternoon hanging out with a couple new friends. Being penpals for a while afterward and then slowly fading into the sunset. Because that’s what happened to most chance meetings like that. Instead it led to more chance meetings, more friends, life-changing decisions and friendships that lasted a lifetime. No, I wasn’t envisioning any of that in Berlin in August 1975. Not even remotely. That brings us back to the core of serendipity: It’s the unexpected. We have to expect the unexpected. We have to be open to it. If we are, we will sometimes be rewarded in ways we could never dream of. And that makes all the difference. > “I’ve always loved life, and I’ve never known what’s ahead. I love not knowing what might be round the corner. I love serendipity.” _Twiggy_ Today, how will you react when serendipity comes along? Too busy? Won’t even notice, because it’s not on the schedule? Or embrace it with a “Yes, and…” Plus, can you tell serendipity from an interruption? (Trick question, because often enough we really can’t.) ![Grand Central Terminal random people - encounters waiting to happen](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/random-people-1.jpg) --- --- title: "Escaping the midwinter blues" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/escaping-the-midwinter-blues/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Winter can be a season of dreariness. Feel gloomy. Feel like it’s lasting forever. Here are 9 tips for beating those midwinter blues." last_modified: "2020-12-28T19:50:15+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Escaping the midwinter blues In my last blog post, [Now is the winter](https://claesjonasson.com/now-is-the-winter/), I talked about why I like winter and also why it’s a necessary season. On reading the article, a friend commented that while she was born in winter, she doesn’t care much for it, because it’s not so much snow. Just rain and/or cold. Okay, I get that. When I lived in Sweden or Iowa, if snow fell in November, there was a chance that it wouldn’t actually be gone until March. Late March at that. Most years that was not the case, but it was definitely a possibility. Still, it was more often a bare Christmas than a white Christmas. > “If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.” Anne Bradstreet With shorter days in winter, it can certainly seem like it’s dragging on forever. That feeling especially tends to hit in January or February. Maybe something to do with the anticipation of the holidays of Christmas and New Year being gone. December is also often a time of multiple parties and gatherings. Time to see friends and family you may not see much at all the rest of the year. Then it’s January 2nd and all that is over. Nothing much to look forward to until the elusive spring when days finally are longer and warmer. So we drag our feet around the house. Get a bit of cabin fever. A lot cabin fever if there’s a heavy snow or several days of rain. It’s the midwinter blues.  Whatever the cause, how do we beat midwinter blues? When each day feels like one more in an endless row of dreary bouts of ill-tempered weather? There’s good evidence that less daylight has a lot to do with winter moodiness. Makes sense. After all, if sunrise is around 8:30am and sunset is before 4pm (as it is in southern Sweden), that means you could go all workweek and never see daylight where you live. Leave for work in the dark, come home in the dark.  I’ve been fortunate to spend much of my working life in a mixture of indoors and outdoors. But for many people, work means indoors with banks of fluorescent lights spreading their greenish glow and nary a bit of actual daylight. That’s enough to make a person, if not all out depressed, then at least a bit moody and gloomy. Then of course if the few daylight hours are cloudy, that just makes things more depressing. > “I pray this winter be gentle and kind–a season of rest from the wheel of the mind.” _John Geddes_ Here are 9 things we can do to cheer up winter a bit and beat the blues: ## **Soak up daylight** This is the biggie. To combat midwinter blues, do get as much daylight as you can.  I know that means going outside. Into the cold. But daylight is good for us and does wonders for the spirit. So it’s worth putting on a few layers to then get outside and spend as much time as you can outside. I walk about 4 miles daily. Pretty much no matter what the weather is. I have a raincoat and boots for rainy days. I have warm layers for cold days. Even a day with windchills down to 0° isn’t bad if you’re dressed right. During the recent arctic blast, I saw video of joggers in Chicago out in that subzero weather still getting their exercise in.  While inside, situate yourself near windows. Preferably toward the south to get as much daylight (and sunshine) as possible. That natural light will cheer you up and help your body stay in touch with a proper day/night cycle. ## **Get outside** This goes with soaking up daylight. Getting outside is good for us any time of the year and especially at those times when we’re likely to feel all cooped up sitting inside because the weather isn’t so nice outside.  I’m obviously not talking about being crazy and going outside in -50° windchill. That would be nuts. But when  we regularly spend time outdoors, then having to stay inside for a day or two when the weather gets _really _bad isn’t a huge burden. Spending time outside also gets our bodies used to the outside environment. On a cold morning recently I walked outside with a couple friends who spend their working time in offices. One of them pulled his coat closer against the cold and commented that he didn’t understand how people can manage working outside in cold weather all day long. Because he was already getting cold just walking from a building to the car. I get that. I’ve worked outdoors throughout the winter in Sweden and Iowa. It gets cold. Really cold. But I also found that working and being outside all day, I actually wore less clothing than if I just walked outside for a little while. And I felt just fine. Because doing physical work is quite different from a quick walk to a car. Plus, working outside regularly, my body was used to it. Point is, don’t be afraid to get outside. Even in winter. It’s good for you and your body will get used to it. ## **Get a cat or a dog** Having someone to take care of, forces us to focus beyond ourselves. And it’s company. A cat or dog also doesn’t care what the weather is outside. They still want food and petting. And said dog will require walking “to take care of business”. Which gets you outside too. A friend posted a video online of how their dog on a snowy day dashed out into the winter wonderland to pick up the paper and brought it back to the happy owner who now didn’t have to go outside at all. That’s not what I’m talking about. You need to get outside with Fido. ## **Turn on the music** Music has a huge impact on our emotional state and mood. So make a conscious choice to listen to music that’s engaging and uplifting for you. Sometimes that means listening to my summer  playlist in the dead of winter. Just to mentally fly away to sunny days, warm water and fun at the beach.  ## **Add lights around your home** Visit almost any home in Sweden during the winter months and you’ll find a plethora of extra lights. Lights in the windows add bright spots and turn what would be a hole into dark and gloom outside into a spot of light and beauty. Placing and turning on those lights is also an intentional act that declares that you want brightness. And it feels comfortable.  Friends “up north” have lights strung on the railing of their deck and put a small lit Christmas tree in the middle of the table on that deck. All this is right outside a sliding glass door. So turning on those lights creates a friendly environment out there, even when covered in snow and gives them something pretty to look at as they move about inside the room. ## **Bring out more color in your environment** Scandinavian design prominently features bold colors. Because a spot of color cheers you up and brightens your day. We don’t have to bury ourselves under black and taupe just because it’s winter.  ## **Keep in touch with friends** When the weather isn’t so nice and daylight hours are fewer, it’s tempting to not make the effort to connect with friends and family. After all, if there’s a snowstorm coming in, or a week of rain forecast, why make plans to get together? It’s probably not going to happen. Then again, it might. So make plans and do venture out. If things don’t work out, you can always reschedule. Withdrawing socially is not a recipe for mental health at any time of the year. But especially not when the weather seems to conspire to isolate us. We now have more ways to connect than ever before in human history. So if we can’t get together in person, we can get on the phone or a video conversation. Not exactly the same as in person, but it does connect us. And lets us share what’s going on with each other. ## **Plant flowers** There’s nothing for forecasting the coming of spring like having some tender green shoots poke through the ground. When I see daffodils raising their green blades, it doesn’t matter if there is still snow on the ground (or a forecast of much more to come). I know spring is coming. You may not have a garden. A container on a balcony can serve as that end-of-winter predictor just as well.  Or plan outdoor walks to take you to an area with plantings, so you can see buds start to form on trees and bushes and flowers poke through the ground. ## **Be intentional** The midwinter blues, once landed, won’t dissolve themselves. But we choose how we treat each new day: With anticipation or with dread and gloom. Choose to seek the things that spark joy and treasure them. Some days that will feel like a losing battle, but even a rainy day holds treasures. If we just look for them.   > “Sometimes our fate resembles a fruit tree in winter. Who would think that those branches would turn green again and blossom, but we hope it, we know it.” _Johann Wolfgang von Goethe_ Winter is a necessary part of the year. It’s part of the growing cycle. The world looks bare and dead, but below the surface, a new growing season is gathering momentum. We can let winter be a recharge time for ourselves as well. We can make the most of the change in pace it represents and look forward to a world unleashed in spring that is just around the corner. All too often, when faced with something we don’t like or enjoy, we respond by resistance or muddling through. But there’s a journey to be savored. One that can enrich us. Because of winter’s challenges, we are stronger and we appreciate the gentleness and warmth of other seasons so much more. _Finally, none of this is intended to replace seeing a medical professional if you are seriously unable to function. Depression is a very real thing and can be debilitating. Please seek help if you really can’t get moving and life feels overwhelming. That goes for any season of the year._ Winter may never be your favorite season. That’s okay. It’s still possible to find things about it to like. I wouldn’t want to live in a land with perpetual winter. But I treasure it as it comes around. Enjoy doing things that can only be done in winter. And when I go walking in subzero winds, I am thankful that I at least that day don’t have to worry about getting a heatstroke from exercising outdoors, like in the high of summer. > “The hard soil and four months of snow make the inhabitants of the northern temperate zone wiser and abler than his fellow who enjoys the fixed smile of the tropics.” _Ralph Waldo Emerson_ --- --- title: "Now is the winter" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/now-is-the-winter/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Some people would just as soon escape it altogether. Others like it. For the most part. \n\nWinter is a unique time of the year. And a vital part of the annual cycle." last_modified: "2024-11-10T03:41:01+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Now is the winter Some people would just as soon escape winter all together. Move to a place where it’s 70 and sunny all the time. Because who wants to shovel snow and ice? After all, if you want to go ice skating or play ice hockey, you can do that indoors. They build facilities for that. And if you want to go skiing, you can travel to where the snow lives. In the mountains. Where the snow is happy and life is good. They call them ski resorts. There is a certain logic in that: Live where it’s comfortable (summer-ish) all the time and then to do winter things, go where there’s winter weather.  It’s just not logic that works for me. Because, I like winter. > “I remember three- and four-week-long snow days, and drifts so deep a small child, namely me, could get lost in them. No such winter exists in the record, but that’s how Ohio winters seemed to me when I was little – silent, silver, endless, and dreamy.” _Susan Orlean_ ![Snow covered farm fields with farms on the horizon on a sunny winter day in southern Sweden](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/snow-field-1024x597.jpg)The snow covered fields next to our house in Sweden. The road that got blocked by snowdrifts in on the right. A glistening vista of winter wonderland. ## **An early winter memory** I sat upstairs in our house, looking out the window onto farm fields and a road that stretched off to the horizon. This day, everything was covered in snow. The road went in a cut and snowdrifts had effectively shut it. But people needed to get through. So farmers left the car at home and drove their tractors. Where the road was blocked, they detoured over a plowed field, where the snow wasn’t very deep. That was the winter we had a huge snowdrift in our driveway. As tall as the hedge that created it and over my dad’s head. Which meant it was awesome for digging tunnels into. Until dad cleared it off. I was about 4 then. ## **School kid winters** Winter meant sledding on a hill in the next block over. The sledding area was a street that went straight down a rather steep hill. At the bottom, another street crossed to form a T-intersection. If you didn’t stop in time, you went through the intersection, bounced up on the sidewalk and landed in a hedge in someone’s yard. Or you steered a bit to the right and made it into a driveway that happened to be there.  Did anybody worry about crossing traffic? Not really. It was a quiet neighborhood. Not that many cars. And we were kids. Who’ll live forever.  Downhill skiing took place on another hill, that ended at a cut with a road below. But you didn’t get going so fast that it mattered, because the hill was all plowed farmland. Meaning that dirt stuck up out of the snow here and there. Definite braking effect on wanna-be Ingemar Stenmarks. Ice hockey and skating happened on ice formed when farm fields along the creek flooded. Frost turned the standing water into ice rinks good for hours and hours of fun. If it got really cold, the creek itself froze and we could skate on its winding course through the village. All in all, winter wasn’t bad if you were a kid. ## **Horizontal snow** When I moved to Iowa, I learned that the Midwest also has horizontal snow fall. Movies and cards treat us to images of gently falling, even lazily dancing, beautiful snowflakes. All is so precious and so white. That’s more a rarity when you talk snow falling in the Midwest (and Southern Sweden). There, snow comes on the wind, horizontal-like. With force. Every fence, every cut, every building, is an obstacle to the wind and invites drifts to form behind it. Which is why we may see roads effectively blocked with drifts that are packed in place when nearby fields still have stubble showing through a rather thin layer of snow. Of course it doesn’t snow all the time in winter. Even in the north. ![](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Iowa-City-snow-79-1024x597.jpg)Downtown Iowa City during the cold and big snow of ’79 on a decidedly not sunny day. My first winter in Iowa. ## **First winter in Iowa** Winter in southern Sweden is a lot like winter in the Midwest. Except not quite as cold. Because of the closeness to the sea. The first winter I was in Iowa, I noticed 2 things:  The days never got quite as short as in Sweden. Which made sense, because Iowa is a lot farther south.  That winter, we had a solid month of below-freezing temperatures. Record snow piled up everywhere. But I didn’t mind. Because the days were mostly sunny. I actually loved it. The air was cold, but fresh. The snow sparkled. Life felt pretty good. I don’t recall classes ever being cancelled for snow or cold while I was at the University of Iowa. And in 10 years working at Iowa State, that university closed once, after a very heavy snowfall. Except I had an urgent video production deadline, so still went to the office, walking around all the snowdrifts.  I talked with a friend in the Midwest right before all the really cold air came in recently. Snow had already arrived there. I asked how they were managing. My friend’s excited response: “We finally got winter.” My sentiment exactly. I actually miss real winters, living in Arkansas for many years now. We get _winter-lite_ here. A snow and an ice storm maybe. Shuts everything down for a day or two. Then it’s melted and life is back on. > “It is the life of the crystal, the architect of the flake, the fire of the frost, the soul of the sunbeam. This crisp winter air is full of it.” _John Burroughs_ ## **Winter is extreme** Yes and no. It’s easy to declare winter extreme. Especially when we hit a new record low and the weather people warn of immediate frostbite if you go outside. Winter is the extremest of the 4 seasons. Or at least that’s the reputation it has. And it does stick out: **Spring** is fresh growth. Plants springing up. Blossoms. Fragrances filling the air. Fresh, warm winds. **Summer** is deepening green. An abundance of flowers. Warmth. Play and fun. **Autumn** is an explosion of color. Harvesting an abundance of produce and fruit. Welcoming smells. But to be totally honest, those other seasons have their extremes as well: Tornado season, hurricane season, spring and fall storms, thunderstorms, and of course dangerous heat indexes in summer. Yet we’re more likely to think of winter as being the odd one out. It’s the looks. It’s bare. Dead plants. Brown grass. Trees without leaves, looking like giant claws. The only green is on evergreens. Because, well, ever green. And winter gets dirty. Thanks to the constant cycle of freezing and melting, plus sand and salt spread on the roads. Which raises a question: What is winter really good for? Why not just skip it all together. Go straight from autumn to spring. Or not have seasons at all? There are a few places on earth where the weather is pretty much the same all year long. Wouldn’t that be much better? A nice average of 70°. Not too hot. Not too cold. Except, would we appreciate any of the other seasons to their fullest without winter providing a stark contrast? Winter is however not just a contrast to the other seasons. It also carries extremes within itself. Winter can be so many things. Bare trees, fog, lots of crows crying. Snowstorms when you can’t safely venture outside. Arctic temperatures. And the next day melting and sunshine. And of course, there’s fewer hours of daylight. > “To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake it is necessary to stand out in the cold.” _Aristotle_ > “What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.” _John Steinbeck_ > “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” _Albert Camus_ ![](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/iowa-winter-1024x512.jpg)Winter day in Iowa without all the snow. Gray, foggy, bare trees, crows just hanging out. The world appears dead (but isn’t really — not even mostly). ## **Winter and the growing season** Winter is nature’s break and recharge time. The growing/harvest cycle ended in autumn. Except for a few winter crops (like winter wheat and winter rye that are planted in fall and overwinter as young plants to grow and mature in spring and summer), the soil is resting. Plants are resting. Freezing weather and ground in northern climates help control bugs and disease that would otherwise overwinter and spread come next growing season. Likewise, frost slows down decomposition of organic matter in the soil, so that the nutrients will still be there when things thaw in spring and new plants are ready to grow. It’s no coincidence that the most fertile farmland in the world is in Southern Sweden, the Ukraine, and the Midwest. All areas with a pronounced winter season. > “I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, “Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.”  Lewis Carroll, _Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass_ Winter also changes the rhythm of life. In Sweden, if I invited somebody to come for a visit on the weekend in winter, the answer would often be: “I’d like to. But let’s see what the weather is like. It might snow.”  With less daylight and colder weather, we stay more at home. Bundle up inside, where it’s warm and comfy. Light extra candles to chase away the dark. > “Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is time for home.” _Edith Sitwell_ ## **Winter and the pace of the year** We may even engage in different activities than during the rest of the year. So it’s a change of pace that we as humans need. If it were always summer, we’d always keep going at full speed. It’s good to slow down and get a little more introspective at times.  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that people in northern climates have a reputation for being industrious. You have to work harder when you know that you must store food for yourself and your animals to survive through a long winter. You have to be innovative. It’s like when you have a task to do, but no deadline, so other things pop up and interrupt. Task doesn’t get done. Yet when there’s a deadline, you do get the task done on time. Because deadline.  Winter works like that in our lives. In fall, we get serious about what must be done before winter comes. Toward the end of winter, we line up projects to start on as soon as winter is over and spring is really here. Winter by virtue of being a different season helps create a better pace for the entire year. It gives us a break — the world out there a rest. And forces us to work a bit harder (or differently) to make it through. But also provides lots of enjoyment. The ability to do things we can only do when it’s winter. Because sometimes it’s really nice to not have to travel a long distance to do snow things. Just ask any kid. A TV station here in Arkansas had a contest this winter where you could win a home snow making device. Ski areas have serious snow making equipment. But there are limitations on when they can use it. Conditions must be right. Not too warm, not too cold. Same thing with that home snow maker. Temperature has to be below 27°. This is Little Rock, Arkansas, so there will only be a handful or two of days like that in the entire winter. Me thinks, some kid is going to be disappointed. One thing that’s true about winter is that things change. From day to day. Sometimes hour to hour. We can’t quite take everything for granted. So it forces us to be more engaged. And rely on each other a bit more.  Winter brings us together. Having faced some challenges, we build stronger relationships. That’s a good thing. > “While I relish our warm months, winter forms our character and brings out our best.” _Tom Allen_ > “My old grandmother always used to say, Summer friends will melt away like summer snows, but winter friends are friends forever.” _George R.R. Martin, A Feast for Crows_ All in all, I like winter and am glad for it every year. A year without it just would not be the same. ### _Reflection:_ _How do you feel about winter (the season)? What do you like about it? What about it would you prefer to do without?_ _In a figurative sense, are there winter seasons in our lives? What does such time look like for you?_ ![Heavily snow laden trees. 3 cars covered in snow. House covered in snow. Sunny day. Arkansas winter.](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/after-the-snow-1024x683.jpg)The day after a particularly large and spectacular snowfall in Arkansas that knocked out our power for 5 days, right at Christmas. --- --- title: "Deceptions" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/deceptions/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "We deceive others to get what we want. We deceive ourselves about what others are truly like. \n\n“Oh, what a tangled web we weave...when first we practice to deceive.” ― Walter Scott." last_modified: "2024-11-10T03:42:02+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Deceptions There’s a novel called _Deceptions_ by Judith Michael that was turned into a 1985 TV-miniseries starring Stefanie Powers and Barry Bostwick. It’s the story of twin sisters: one is single, one is married with children. Both are miserable in their present lives and come up with a lark: Let’s trade places. To try a whole new life. Just for fun. Just for a couple of weeks. Except events they never anticipated take place. One sister ends up dead and the other is trapped impersonating her (now dead) sister, not belonging anywhere. No wonder the story was named _Deceptions_. _“Oh, what a tangled web we weave…when first we practice to deceive.” ― Walter Scott,_ Marmion Surely nothing that outlandish would happen in your life? Except, there are other deceptions, much closer to home: - **When we deceive others.** Pretending we’re something or someone we’re not, to get what we want. - **When we deceive ourselves.** We create a mind picture of what another person is like and then act based on that. While ignoring hints that our version of the other person is not real at all. You’d think that these 2 forms of deception would have very different outcomes. But in the end, it’s very similar: Relationships are hurt. Trust broken. Friendships killed. Either kind of deception can be quite hard to detect, because humans are very complex, with a lots of emotions and things going on. Plus, even with a really good friend or a spouse, we truly don’t totally know _everything_ about them. Because we can’t get inside their head. _“People trust their eyes above all else – but most people see what they wish to see, or what they believe they should see; not what is really there” ― Zoë Marriott,_ Shadows on the Moon ![Woman, much of face hidden behind big leaf](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/woman-hidden.jpg) ## When we deceive others This is what most people think of if you mention deception. And it’s what the sisters in the book and miniseries set out to do: Let’s fool everybody else and have some fun. _“Never attempt to win by force what can be won by deception.” ― Niccolò Machiavelli,_ The Prince Deceiving others can be **intentional** or **unintentional**. **Intentional** means we planned it. It’s deception by commission. We know we’re hiding some things, fabricating others and set out to create an impression that we want others to have, even though it is nothing like the real deal. It’s false. Fake. **Unintentional** deception is when in the course of interacting with others, we realize that they think we’re something that we’re not. We can choose to correct the wrong impression. At an early stage, it’ll probably cause a moment of embarrassment and then we can all move on and even laugh about it. But if we pass up that moment for revealing the truth, the stakes get higher, because the deception just became intentional. Now there’s much more to lose if it’s revealed. There’s also deception by **omission**. We neglect to give another person all the information. That would quite possibly have given them a different understanding of us or the situation. So I only tell the parts that make me look good and leave out what doesn’t. All to make sure the other person gets a favorable impression of me. Deception of others is for a purpose of making me appear better than I am. There’s something I think I can gain by deception. (And that I don’t think I can gain by being truthful.) In business that might mean pretending to be interested in anything I think the person I’m trying to close a deal with is interested in. Just so I can get them to sign. Or there’s the boy who wants to impress the girl he’s infatuated with. She appears to like classical music — which he wouldn’t be caught dead listening to. Yet he endures going to a violin concert with her. Because that will surely add up to a lot of points and win her heart. Sometimes the deceptions are big. And quite likely to totally fall apart if the relationship goes on. That boy who wants the girl to like him so much that he’ll do what he hates — the truth about their totally different music tastes will come out eventually. When it does, it’s likely to shatter (some of) the trust that they’ve built up. Sometimes the deceptions are small. But even little things, when exposed, can do major damage to trust. Because to find out after a long time that something rather small and seemingly inconsequential was a deception, makes us wonder what all else was a deception. If my friend lied about this one little thing, maybe there are other, bigger things that are also lies. When we set out to deceive people around us, there will be damage to trust built up in the relationship once the deception is revealed. Worst-case scenario is another person appearing to be a friend, when they’re really out to con or even hurt you. ![Closeup of eyes and glasses](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/closeup-of-eyes.jpg) ## When we deceive ourselves We know a certain amount about people around us, but not everything. Guy meets girl. They spend a little time together. Guy convinces himself that girl loves him. That this is the one. In reality, girl thinks he’s a good guy, but not really that into him. Great plot for a movie. Depending on how you go with it, it can become a delightful romcom or a sinister horror movie. _“The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.” — Leonardo da Vinci_ The danger of self-deception is that we’re no longer interacting with a real person, but rather with our imagined version of that person. Let the deception take hold enough and there’s no way for the real person to cut through. And I, the self-deceiver, may not be able to see the real person, because I built up such a strong imagined version of them. The relationship will crumble. Some people get stuck in this self-deception about another person with long-lasting consequences. The girl falls for the bad boy. But to her he’s not headed for a life in and out of prison. He’s just misunderstood and she can bridge the gap and fix it. Or guy falls for girl and decides she’s utterly perfect in every way. As in she can’t possibly ever do anything wrong. Reality is that she’s human. If they stay together, sooner or later, he’ll have to face that fact. She isn’t perfect. Will he be able to handle her falling off the pedestal? I may meet someone for the first time and spend an afternoon together. At the end of that time, I know a little about that person. Maybe we talked about likes and dislikes, what we do for a living, a bit about where we’re from. And found a few things in common. But our minds are great at filling in the gaps. Which is awesome in story telling in a book. The author only has to give a few key pieces of information and the reader will rapidly fill in the rest. All to create their own mental image of what the character in the book is like. Not so good in real life. I know some things about another person and then fill in missing pieces to create a fuller picture. Assumptions. Guesses. About their ethics, honesty and a myriad other things. I might make myself think that I and the other person are much closer friends than we really are. That I can count on them far more than they are willing to be counted on. Or it goes the other way. That I don’t trust a friend who would actually do just about anything for me. If I’d let them. This self-deception is hard to deal with. Because the argument isn’t with another person. It’s me and the imaginary picture I’ve created of them. Something I have to sort out for myself. Even so the deception will hurt the real relationship. Boundaries may be overstepped. Assumptions made that quickly lead to real hurts. And broken trust. Or the deception puts up walls that shouldn’t be there. So the relationship suffers by never becoming as close as it could have been. ## Guarding against deceptions To guard against those who would deceive others, it’s good to experience people in a variety of situations. Both where they claim to belong and also where they are out of their comfort zone. With other people around. That helps build a more wholistic picture of who the other person is. If the only time I see my friend Bill is at one social event every month, I really don’t know much about what he’s like the rest of the time. On the other hand, if we interact multiple times, one on one, in groups and a variety of settings, I get a much fuller picture and I’ll be better able to spot any deception. Plus, I should listen to what others around me say about them. Because they may catch things I’ve missed. The same applies to self-deception about others. The more different settings I see that person in and the more varied ways I spend time with them will help me understand them better and also not be as likely to create an embellished imaginary version of them. Most of all, we need to be aware that not everything is what it seems. And that just because I _want_ another person to be a certain way, doesn’t mean they actually are. Because we all have faults. Flaws. Shortcomings. Nobody is perfect. And when we realize that, we can accept each other for who we really are. And find real friendship. Closeness without any need for deceiving others or ourselves. The kind of relationship where we can make it through thick and thin. Because we know that the other person is the real deal. _“If you once forfeit the confidence of your fellow citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem. You may fool all of the people some of the time; you can even fool some of the people all the time; but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.” — Abraham Lincoln_ --- --- title: "When in doubt, go to the library" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/when-in-doubt-go-to-the-library/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "I love libraries. Although for a long time, I didn’t even have a library card. I remedied that failing a few years ago. Fortunately for me, since I love reading and learning new things." last_modified: "2024-11-10T03:55:03+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # When in doubt, go to the library I love libraries. Although for a long time, I didn’t even have a library card. I did remedy that failing a few years ago. Now I frequently visit the library. Of course it helps that I go right by it on my daily walks. When I was in grade school, we had a tiny school library. An adult could pretty much stand in the middle of the room, stretch out his arms and touch all the shelves. Even so, that’s where I discovered the world. I loved going there and finding books that were above my grade level. Later I discovered bigger libraries. Like the one at my high school. Or the city library near the small town where I lived. They even carried a few American magazines, like _Model Railroader_. The world was getting bigger. Once I got to college, the university library was of course indispensable. At the University of Iowa, the main library is right across from the film and broadcasting building. Very convenient indeed. Through umpteen research papers and projects, I got to know the place inside out. I knew that any information I needed, I could find somewhere in there. > “Harry—I think I’ve just understood something! I’ve got to go to the library!” And she sprinted away, up the stairs. “What does she understand?” said Harry distractedly, still looking around, trying to tell where the voice had come from. “Loads more than I do,” said Ron, shaking his head. “But why’s she got to go to the library?” “Because that’s what Hermione does,” said Ron, shrugging. “When in doubt, go to the library.” _J.K Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_ Might be a news flash for some, but libraries don’t just have books. They have many other things. Including magazines and newspapers. Sometimes really old ones. Truly fascinating to page through newspapers from 50 or 100 years ago and see what life was like then. Still recall writing a paper in college about what life was like in the US when WWII ended in Europe. What made it all really interesting was being able to peruse actual US newspapers from that time, to see the contrast of war news being reported right next to the latest sale at Sears or Montgomery Ward. In the age of Netflix, Amazon Prime and iTunes streaming, I still get tons of movies and TV-series to watch from the local library. Because if it’s a bit older, or not super popular, then the library is more likely to have it on DVD. > “Public libraries have been a mainstay of my life. They represent an individual’s right to acquire knowledge; they are the sinews that bind civilized societies the world over. Without libraries, I would be a pauper, intellectually and spiritually.” Author James A. Michener Some time ago, I was doing video interviews in a far corner of Arkansas. I’d driven down for the day and had interviews scheduled one after another all day. At least I did, until one of them cancelled. So now I had a couple hours before the next one. What to do? It struck me that there was a college in town, so I headed to their campus and found a table in the library where I could pull out my computer. Soon I was surrounded by books containing helpful information for one of my writing projects. > “The free access to information is not a privilege, but a necessity for any free society. One of my favorite things to do as a young man was wander through the stacks of my hometown library. I’d just browse until I found something interesting. Libraries have definitely changed my life.” Actor Edward Asner You might think that libraries really aren’t needed anymore, with internet, Google and Wikipedia. I mean, everything is right there, online, at your fingertips. So the library is just for kids and story time anymore, right? Obviously not. Every time I stop by the local library, I see plenty of adults without kids there. Sure, I can buy almost every book imaginable on Amazon. But that gets costly pretty quick. When public libraries were started, buying a book was often way beyond the means of regular folks. So there was a truly vital function of making knowledge available to a wider range of people. Because the lord of the manor already had a giant library (but just for his family, and if he felt generous, maybe for some of the staff as well). Some books I just like to read before deciding adding them to my collection. Other books, I know I’ll just read once, so being able to borrow it is a really good solution. Some things I can find at a library, I’d never have at home. For instance, years ago I researched the history of a railroad in Sweden. When I learned that complete sets of national railway timetables were in a university library not far from were I lived, it was like hitting the jackpot. I spent a whole day there, pulling out timetables and copying off ones for the particular railroad I was interested in. Still have a binder full of those photocopies. You may have heard that I’m working on a novel. It takes place in the late 1970’s. Being able to go to a library and find fashion magazines and a complete collection of _LIFE Magazine_ is invaluable to ensure I get all the details right. Yes, I lived through those years, but there are all too many details that have faded off the memory radar screen (or details I might connect with the wrong year). > “You want weapons? We’re in a library. Books are the best weapon in the world. This room’s the greatest arsenal we could have. Arm yourself!” Russell T. Davies (Doctor Who) ![Multi-story library with book stacks, people reading at desks, all against a big glass wall.](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/library-multi-level.jpg) ## Here are 8 reasons to visit the library in 2019: - **Books.** Even the very latest ones. This past year, I read (among many other things) Michelle Obama’s biography _Becoming_ and James Comey’s _A Higher Loyalty_. Both shortly after they came out, thanks to my local library. Plus the library often has books that are hard to find elsewhere. - **Trying things out.** I can easily try a book by an author I haven’t read before. If I like it, they may have more by that author. I did that for the _Poldark_ series by Winston Graham. After watching the first season of the TV-series, I got the first book from the library. Read it and liked the writing. So ended up buying the entire 12 book set.Conversely, there have been books I’ve picked up and read, only to decide that author is not for me. - **Serendipity.** In a library, you never quite know what you’ll find. There’s something adventurous and a bit mysterious about perusing shelves full of books and finding ones I’d never, ever, have come across, were it not for being by that physical shelf.Because you come looking for one book and right next to it on the shelf are plenty of other books that can catch your eye and turn out to be just as enriching. But you never would have discovered them doing an online search. - **Broader research.** Ties in with serendipity. One challenge of looking things up online is that we type in one (short) key phrase or ask one query. We get 138,193 results. But only look at the first page or two. Find some websites that we check out and call it good.So the actual sampling isn’t all that big. Contrast that with being in a library, where you end up with a stack or two of books and other resources on the subject. (Plus some more you weren’t looking for.)Because you’re looking in different places to find those sources, they tend to provide a broader sampling and give wider insight. Sure, there’s more actual work digging through books, magazines and other resources. But since it’s hands-on and takes a bit longer, we connect with it more and ultimately do a better job synthesizing the material. - **It’s not just books anymore.** It’s so many other things as well. Movies, TV-series and documentaries on DVD. Music. Maybe toys. Story time for kids. Meeting rooms. Librarians to ask for information. Digital books and resources. Audio books. Exhibits. Yes, there’s a lot of stuff there. - **Resources beyond the local confines.** I have a local library, but I’m not limited to what’s there. I can request almost anything in the city-wide library system and in a day or two find it waiting for me at the local branch. If it’s not in the city, there’s always interlibrary loan, where you can get resources from other libraries, even way across the country. - **Computer and internet access.** Yes, we often take online access for granted today. _“Just go online.”_ For many people, that’s not so obvious. They don’t have a computer or they don’t have internet access where they live (or if they have it, it’s painfully slow). The library has both computers and internet. - **Libraries are democratizers.** By making resources available to all (you don’t even need a library card if you just come in and read on the premises), they help all of us improve and do better. It’s a small, but important way of leveling the playing field between those who have lots of resources and those who don’t. > “Don’t join the book burners. Don’t think you’re going to conceal faults by concealing evidence that they ever existed. Don’t be afraid to go in your library and read every book…” Dwight D. Eisenhower Years ago, Diane operated a day care. Each week she took all the kids to the city library for story time. That’s no light undertaking when you have 5 or 6 kids to bundle up in the middle of the winter in Iowa, get them safely into the car, drive across town and get them into the library. Repeat in reverse to get back home afterward. This one family brought their young daughter to Diane’s day care, but expressed that they would prefer this weekly trek didn’t happen. Diane told them it was a non-negotiable. If their daughter was at her day care, she’d go to the library. Fast forward a few years. By this time those same parents had one more child in Diane’s care. And they insisted on that library trip each week. Because they saw what those trips did for their older daughter’s development. > “In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.” Mark Twain I love reading. It opens new horizons and helps me understand both other people and places in the world now, as well as times in history long gone that helped shape where we are today. So it’s no wonder that the library is one of my favorite places. Seemingly no matter where I am, I always find myself at a library, sooner rather than later. ![Woman perusing book shelves in library](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/woman-library-shelf.jpg) --- --- title: "A whole new year with no mistakes" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/a-whole-new-year-with-no-mistakes/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Early 2019. A new year, wide open. Can this be a year of opportunity? With no mistakes? What does that mean?" last_modified: "2020-12-28T19:55:54+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # A whole new year with no mistakes Welcome to 2019. A new year. Which brings up the question: What does a new year mean to you? When we were kids, we just couldn’t wait to be another year older. So the passing of one year into another was part of that rush to become a grownup. At some point that wore off. We became adults. We may even stop wanting to talk about our age. Because it’s adding up. The years go by faster and faster. Not that time actually moves faster. It’s just that when there are more years to look back at, it sure seems like one year isn’t that long anymore. After all, when I was 15 (and pretty much knew everything), I only had a couple handfuls of years to look back at. Realistically, I didn’t remember much from the first several of those. At “will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64?”, I remember when I was 24 like it was yesterday (along with a lot of other years in-between). Looking back at a parade of years, one single year doesn’t seem very long at all. Of course, turning eyes forward, that means 2019 won’t be that long either. It too will pass. The question then is all about how this year will pass. Will it be a matter of making time go by? Or will the year be spent doing worthwhile and enduring things? Will the year fly by while I’m busy with whatever pops up each day, never getting to those things I’ve always wanted to do? I have choices to make. And so do you for your life. I called this post “A whole new year with no mistakes”. That’s of course borrowed from Anne Shirley of Green Gables fame. In her case, the premise was that tomorrow was a whole new day with no mistakes. A big deal for her, because she was apt to get into adventures that sometimes didn’t turn out quite as intended. In early January, on a day with blue skies, daffodils poking their green shoots through dead leaves on the ground, and a certain freshness in the air, it’s easy to believe in a year ahead with no mistakes. Actually, I used to get the same feeling when I lived far north, where an early January day might be blue skies over a world covered in snow on frozen ground. Yet, if you looked at icicles hanging off roofs, you’d notice water drops. Little trickles, but signs of ice and snow melting all the same. There’s a feeling of change in the air. Because we’re headed towards spring when things will grow again. New beginnings. Not that there won’t be any mistakes made. Or be rabbit trails along the way. It’s more the idea that there’s a year that’s new, fresh and wide open. Like a clean sheet of paper, waiting for a story — my story — your story — to be written on it. Anne of Green Gables had an indomitable spirit. Yes, she seemed to get into scrapes most every day. But that same adventure spirit that got her into trouble, also propelled her forward. In her heart she believed that destiny can be shaped. Changed. And she did. Today is a new day. It doesn’t have to be like yesterday. This year is a new year. It doesn’t have to be like last year. Like Anne, we can move forward. Do things differently. I’ve done some planning for 2019. Have several goals I want to pursue and see accomplished. One of them is a book. I have a novel in progress. It needs to be written and published. Right now, I don’t know if it’s too ambitious to aim for having it in print by Christmas. It could happen, if a lot of things fall in place along the way. I certainly know it won’t happen if I don’t start by figuring out one next step in that book writing process to take this week and then do it. A first step. Then another. And another. Taking the first step doesn’t make the project an automatic success. There are plenty of started-but-unfinished projects in this world to prove the opposite. Because there’s resistance along the way. Steven Pressfield writes: _“Resistance is an impartial force of nature, like gravity and the laws of thermodynamics. Resistance is clever. It knows if it personalizes its manifestations, it can deceive us and slip past our defenses. It’s like the software that enables direct-mail marketers to send us letter and e-mails addressed, “Dear Susie.” It’s bullshit. Resistance doesn’t know who we are and it doesn’t care.”_ If allowed, resistance will shut down any progress we might make. Today, on a day in early January, with the entire year ahead, I feel I can take on the resistance. Or prepare for it, so that as I move forward towards my goal and meet resistance, I have ability to persevere and keep taking the next steps. Back to the goal of writing a book this year. Michael Hyatt stresses that goals need to be risky. Not delusional, but risky. It would be delusional for me to say: “l’m going to write and publish a series of novels this year” when I haven’t even published one yet. It’s risky to take on a goal of getting one out this year. That’s in the category of “this could happen if all things work out” but it also might not happen. I may not be able to control all the variables. It would be safe for me to just stick to “Someday I will write a novel. I’ll work on it some this year and we’ll see how it goes.” Been there, done that. Didn’t go very far at all. There’s a saying “nothing ventured, nothing gained”. Looking ahead, I want 2019 to count. To be a year I will look back at and know that it made a difference. For me, for people around me. So I take small steps. What can I do today that will get me just a little closer to the end goal? You have those dreams, plans, wishes too. Maybe even something you’ve wanted to do for a long time, but it keeps getting put off because, well, life happens. This could be the year that it’s time for you to _________. Which brings us back to Anne of Green Gables and that whole new year with no mistakes. Am I so afraid of making mistakes, I don’t do anything that doesn’t feel totally safe? Because if I play life safe, I greatly reduce the risk of mistakes. That’s the wrong lesson. It may have been what preteen Anne originally hoped for when making her famous statement. But reality is that she didn’t go from being an awkward, red-headed child to successful scholar, school teacher and eventually writer, except by making mistakes and learning from them. Growing through her mistakes. The promise of a year ahead with no mistakes is that I’m not defined by past mistakes. It’s my chance to go forth and be all I was created to be. Far too often we allow ourselves to be shaped by what others say about us, instead of by what we’re capable of. Listen to the narrative others have for you long enough and you believe it, especially if it’s negative. As a result, we shrink back and don’t take any risks. Because others might snicker or openly oppose us. I’m sure that if I’d talked to a some of the kids I went to high school with about my idea of going to college in the US, I would have heard things like: “You can’t do that.” “Why would you want to do that?” “You don’t have what it takes.” And so on. Fortunately, I had a few friends who spoke different words. Like “You should come to the US for college!” from an American grad student studying in Switzerland (leading by example). She was right. I should and I did. And it was life changing. Sure there were some mistakes along the way. And rabbit trails too. But all worth it in the end. Grown-up Anne would approve. 2019 can be that way. Looking ahead, I see a year ready to be shaped and filled. For me it’s time to do some serious writing this year. I’m moving forward with my novel, towards publication. I don’t know if it will actually be in print by the end of the year. But now, in early January, I take the next steps for right now to get going and keep the process moving forward. What’s your thing that 2019 is the year for? --- --- title: "Christmas reflections" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/christmas-reflections/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "What is Christmas really? Endless stream of Christmas movies? Expectations about where and who to spend it with? I’m dreaming of a __________ Christmas." last_modified: "2024-11-10T03:33:08+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Christmas reflections The Hallmark Channel has run nonstop Christmas movies since long before Thanksgiving. Netflix is on the bandwagon too. Because apparently we can’t get too much of Christmas. Or maybe. The other day, a random conversation got on to holiday plans. The person I was talking to mentioned they were going to 5 (count ‘em – FIVE) Christmas celebrations with various parts of their extended family over the days right around actual Christmas Day. With multiple celebrations in one day. So maybe it can be too much. Although, in the end, we did agree that it’s important to spend time with our families and those times do build memories. ![postcard like scene of snow-covered street, house and streetlight at night, with snow falling](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/christmas-street.jpg) ## I’m dreaming of a white Christmas… Growing up, Christmas was at our house — my parents, me and my grandmother and her sister who lived in an apartment upstairs in our house. What you’d call an intimate Christmas celebration. No out of town guests. Not trekking to everybody in the extended family. Although I have a vague recollection of one Christmas get-together at my uncle’s farm. I wasn’t very old. Everybody in the extended family was there. It’s Swedish tradition that _Jultomten_ (Santa) comes in person to hand out presents. And that’s what happened there too. Except when Santa came in, red suit, white beard and all, I walked up to said Santa, pulled on the beard and went “Hi, Anita.” Because hiding in the suit and the beard was my cousin Anita (who is quite a bit older than me). I guess I didn’t really believe in the whole Santa thing. Anyway, Christmas for me growing up was a small family affair. The big dinner on Christmas Eve, presents at the tree. Then Christmas service in church very early next morning. The kind of early where the sun is just peeking above the horizon when you exit the church to head home. But lots of Christmas spirit in the dark (and cold) going to church and inside the church with lots of lights and candles. Christmas Day in Sweden is when you rest up from the early morning trip to church and the big celebration the evening before. Very quiet. That defined Christmas. That’s what I expected. ## No family, no Christmas — or… Underlying all those Christmas movies and stories is the idea that the holiday is about being together with family. So you might infer that not being with family is not really Christmas. Every Christmas in my life was spent with my family. Until I went off to college. Now I was by myself. 4,400 miles from home. My first Christmas in the US was spent with my friend Debbie and her wonderful family. Not only was I invited to their house for Christmas, but I was truly made to be like one of the family. There was even something under the tree for me. And I brought things like a gingerbread house and freshly baked bread to share. Of course, they didn’t celebrate Christmas like we did back home in Sweden. Actually awesome. I got to experience first-hand what a real American family does on the biggest holiday of the year. Being in a new country, I wanted to find out and here was my opportunity. Over the course of 4 years in college, plus a year in a graduate level program, I had 5 opportunities to find out more about Christmas away from my family in Sweden and how to navigate it on my own. - One year I spent Christmas morning with my pastor’s family. - Families from church invited me for Christmas dinners. - There was a Christmas on a farm with a another family. Staying with them for several days. - And I went to my girlfriend Diane’s family for Christmas — first time to meet her all extended family. Each had their own traditions. Their own way of doing things. Each place I learned a bit more about the new culture I was living in. And about myself. I found out that it really wasn’t a matter of life or death if the Christmas Dinner is on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. ![Hands holding out a wrapped Christmas present with candy cane attached](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/christmas-present.jpg) ## It’s always been this way… So many things about how we do holidays are “because we’ve always done it this way.” But that’s not necessarily the only way to do it. Like presents and when to give them: **Christmas Eve** — As a kid you have all day long, plus an even longer dinner, to wait for those presents. And then as soon as you get the loot and start enjoying, it’s time to go to bed. **Christmas Day morning** — How early can you get up? And how early can you get the adults up? Then you have all day long to actually play with the new toys. Which can get really long when the newness wears off. I also found that I didn’t really have to worry about being alone or forgotten over Christmas. I had friends and never lacked for an invitation to come and join somebody for at least part of the day. Plus there are other options for how to spend Christmas, like looking for people or organizations that need help during the holidays and chipping in. Which might make some new friends in the process. ## Christmas is… A store chain this year has a tag line in their commercials: “Christmas is what you make it.” To be sure, we actually celebrate Christmas for a very particular reason — to remember when Jesus Christ, God, came into the world as a baby in Bethlehem all those years ago, forever changing history. But in another sense, Christmas really is what you make it. As in, it can be a great time or it can be not so great and it all depends on our expectations and preconceived notions. Our choices. If growing up I had latched on to the notion that for a real Christmas you have to have lots and lots of people together, then I would have been disappointed every year. Because it was just mom and dad, me, grandma and her sister. Except that was enough. If when coming to the US as a student, I’d expected major productions for Christmas, with me at the center, I would have been sorely disappointed. But what I really wanted was to get to know Americans, and that happened. Plus I got to see first-hand how a number of families did Christmas. _**I treasure those moments.** _ When Diane and I married and had our own family, we had Christmas traditions to set up (and expectations from the extended family to deal with in that process). Our first married Christmas we lived in Sweden. My mom was determined that we’d do Christmas at her house, because she really wanted to show Diane a real Swedish Christmas. When we later moved back to the US, Diane’s mom wanted all the sisters and their families at her house for several days over Christmas. After trying that one year, we decided that we’d be happy to spend some time around Christmas with everybody else, but not right on Christmas Day. We wanted that to be just our family. Key is that there’s no one perfect way to celebrate Christmas. It will change over the years even if you try to keep it the same. But that’s part of the wonder of the holiday. We can choose to lean into that and enjoy the time we have. Because who knows what next year will be like. ![Street in village at Christmas - lights, decorations, snow on ground and falling](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/christmas-village.jpg) ## A few takeaways Be open to invite someone to come be part of your family’s Christmas celebration, for part of it or all of it. Traditions are good, but don’t get stuck in them. Just because we’ve always done it this way, doesn’t mean we always have to do it that way in the future. Things can change and you might actually like it. Conflicting demands on the holiday from different sides of the extended family? Negotiate, set healthy boundaries and determine to enjoy the time you do have with various people. Because you’re building memories and connections. Alone for Christmas? Lots of options. Maybe being alone is actually a great time for reflection and being you. Or look around for others in the same boat and invite them in. Or join them where they are. Or go do something entirely different. Not everything shuts down at Christmas. Now, you might say, “this is all great, except Christmas is happening now”. Agreed. I wrote this now, because Christmas is on everybody’s mind right now. Which means it’s also a great time to think about what you want Christmas to be like a year from now. Because some arrangements and plans need time to percolate… **_Wishing you a Happy and Merry Christmas._** ![Christmas tree with wood ornament that has "Merry Christmas" written on it](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/merry-christmas.jpg) --- --- title: "I am a writer — a year and a half later" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/i-am-a-writer-a-year-and-a-half-later/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "I’ve been writing this blog since summer a year ago. That’s almost a year and a half now. So I thought I’d take a quick look back." last_modified: "2024-11-11T16:08:07+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # I am a writer — a year and a half later About a year ago while at the Tribe Conference, I talked with another writer. I mentioned that I had a blog and he commented: “I couldn’t do that — writing something new on a blog every week.” I was a bit surprised to hear that from another writer, because, after all, he’s a writer. And writers write. Then again, blogging is a very special form of writing. People I talk to about building websites for them have much the same comment. The idea of having to put fresh content on that website on a regular basis (like every week) apparently brings out cold sweat, just at the thought of having to do all that work on a regular basis. My first thought would be more along the lines of “What if nobody reads the stuff I write?” But then, if I write and just put it in a desk drawer, I’m _guaranteed_ nobody will read it. So better take a chance. This blog is actually not my first blog. There were others, several years ago. Each started with a good idea and the premise that “if you write it, they will come.” Sometimes that works out and more often not. In my case, not. Eventually, I quit. 3 different blogs came and went that way. Jeff Goins tells of how he started 8 blogs (and abandoned each of them) over the years. All before finally landing on the one that took off and helped build his audience. Here I am, writing this blog since summer a year ago. That means it’s been going for almost a year and a half now. The first few months were a post here and there. Then in September a year ago, I went weekly and stuck with it. (Here’s one of the first posts I wrote, about [being a writer](https://claesjonasson.com/i-am-a-writer/).) So I thought I’d take you with me on a quick look back over the past year and a half. Actually, I have 2 blogs. This blog at [ClaesJonasson.com](https://claesjonasson.com) and another blog at [ClaesJonasson.Design](https://claesjonasson.design) dealing with online platforms, design and business strategy. Quite a different animal. Which is why I didn’t even consider combining everything into one blog or one online platform. (But if you’re interested in both topics, you’re most welcome to read both blogs and subscribe to both email updates.) This blog is about the intersection of life, faith and stuff. About finding meaning and making sense out of life. To be more intentional with how we go through it. And it’s about my writing aside from the blog, although that hasn’t popped in much yet. It’s coming though. I have several ideas for short stories that are begging to be written and there’s a novel-in-progress (draft stage). I look forward to providing previews and more info about those efforts over the coming year. As I look back over 61 posts and 1.5 years of blogging, there are 4 takeaways that stand out: ## It can be done _“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” — Walt Disney_ It’s really possible to keep a weekly blog going over time. No doubt it can be a challenge to write weekly. It’s the deadline that never quite goes away. Get one week’s post done and it’s time to get on to the next one. In that sense, not really any different from other creative projects. I’ve worked in creative media all my life and it’s more the rule than the exception that by the time one project launches and is in front of its intended audience, the creator is already well into the next project. That said, I admit that some weeks it’s a challenge to get the blog post ready and out. If you’re on my email list (if you’re not on the list, don’t get left out any longer — [sign up here](https://claesjonasson.com/email/)), you have no doubt noticed that my blog post emails are not always in your inbox first thing each Wednesday morning. While that’s my goal, it doesn’t always happen. Because life. Because client deadlines. Because stuff happens. There are different approaches to writing content for a blog. You can write one post at a time, a little every day and get it done just in time. Or you can plan and write several posts at one time and then drip them out on the blog over several weeks (batch writing). So far, I’ve mostly been in the write-a-post-a-week camp. I’m itching to try batch writing though — to see how that works in my overall workflow and with my muse. ## Not running out of ideas for blog posts _“The value of an idea lies in the using of it.” — Thomas Edison_ When I started the blog, I was a bit concerned as to whether I would have enough ideas. Maybe I’d run out after a few months. So I listed a handful of ideas to start with. Now, 61 posts later, I have a list of well over 100 ideas — each with some research/background/draft material. In other words, if I got no new ideas and actually wrote a blog post on every one of the ideas in my Evernote files, I have enough for 2 years of weekly blog posts. Not that I will actually ever write all those ideas. That’s the wonderful thing about ideas: They are a springboard and while some lead to a finished post or article, others just help get the brain going, leading to more ideas yet. Having lots of possible blog posts also means that I can choose what’s right for the season, mood and everything else going on. ## Done regularly, writing becomes a habit _“If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all: Read a lot and write a lot.” — Stephen King_ By now I have a system for writing a blog post and everything that goes with it. There’s a habit element. I would most certainly miss it if I wasn’t writing regularly. I’m definitely a better writer after 1.5 years of blogging. There’s no substitute for practice and at this point I’ve written 87,996 words just on this blog. (And not counting this post.) That’s the length of a decent novel! ## Writing regularly is good for the soul _“A blog is neither a diary nor a journal. Many people think of blogging in relation to those two things, confessional or practical. It is neither but includes elements of both.” — Lemn Sissay_ As I write, I’m also learning more about myself and about life. Because we’re never too old (or young) to learn more about either. Some blog posts have had me revisit things that happened a long time ago. Others have seen me do research and dig deeper into a new subject, putting pieces together and learning along the way. That’s life. Really a giant puzzle that we keep adding new pieces to as long as we live. Writing definitely gives me new perspectives. Feedback from you, my readers and friends, adds to those perspectives. As I’m sure you know, I read all comments, whether they come here on the blog, on Facebook, via email, text or any other means. And I respond as well. Because conversation is good. We can definitely use more dialog today. ## Looking to 2019 I will definitely be here each week with new insights, thoughts and perspectives. Also look for more about my other writing projects to pop up on the blog and in the weekly emails. Writing is not done in a vacuum and I look forward to share new writing here on the blog as it happens. I will also be eager to hear what you think about it. --- --- title: "Long timeline story" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/long-timeline-story/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "What kind of story do you like? One that plays out in a short amount of time or one that takes place over a long period of time, maybe decades?" last_modified: "2024-11-13T13:31:46+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Long timeline story What kind of stories do you like? Long or short? No, I’m not talking about the length of the actual story itself. As in _**War and Peace**_ (very long book) vs. _**The Snows of Kilimanjaro**_ (a short story indeed). I’m talking about the time span covered in the story. Some stories play in real time or very near it. If it’s a movie or TV show, everything takes place in the same amount of time as we’re watching. There’s even the occasional movie done in one or just a few really long takes. If it’s a book or printed piece, it might play out in about the time it takes you to read it. Most stories span more time than that. Maybe a few days, weeks, months or even years. Stories that span a lifetime or very significant part of a lifetime are a bit rarer though. Still they do come around. Especially if it’s a series of books, several movies or a TV series that tells the full story of its characters. I’ve grown to really like that kind of storytelling. Because with a storyline that takes place over a significant part of a lifetime, we learn so much more about the characters and also get to see how their choices work out for them and the people around them. Think of it this way: If I spend the afternoon with a new friend, we can get to know each other to a certain degree, but outside this current setting, I really have no reference frame for who this person is. This one afternoon may end up being all there is. On the other hand, with a friend I’ve known for years, reconnecting in person or on the phone is instant. I’ve come to know what they like or don’t like. What makes them tick and so on. There’s a much deeper connection. Since I’ve known that person for a long time, I also know how they handle both ups and downs in life and may have gone through some of those with them. Here are a few examples of long timeline storytelling — stories that take place over many years: ## Harry Potter JK Rowling ![Set of the Harry Potter series of 7 books](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Harry-Potter.jpg) Over the course of 7 books, we follow Harry and his friends through the most formative years of their lives. Each book covers a year in Harry’s life. At the start he’s a naive child who lives in a cupboard under the stairs. At the end of the final book, he has his own family and is sending off his young son to Hogwarts for the first time. ## It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) ![Cover of Blu-ray Disc for "It's a Wonderful Life"](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/wonderful-life.jpg) The movie starts with George Bailey as a kid in Bedford Falls, with great plans for heading out into the world. But as the years go by, he’s still in Bedford Falls. Lots of little choices all conspire to keep him there. In the end it turns out, that maybe the real plan was for him to be there all along and make vital differences in so many people’s lives. George’s biggest failing is that he doesn’t see how he affects the lives of people around him. That is, until he gets to see what the town would have been like had he never been born. ## Les Miserables Victor Hugo ![Book cover of "Les Miserables"](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Les-Miserables.jpg) At the start of the book, Jean Valjean is a young man sentenced to the galleys for stealing a loaf of bread. At the end of the book, he is an old man on his deathbed. We’ve followed his journey of redemption and his struggles to stay one step ahead of energetic Inspector Javert who is convinced that a man never changes. There is also a host of other characters whose lives intertwine with Jean Valjean’s life and with each other. ## Anne of Green Gables LM Montgomery ![Boxed set of Anne of Green Gables books](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Anne.jpg) We meet Anne, a redheaded, pre-teen orphan, when she ends up on the Cuthbert farm by mistake. The books then follow her through growing up, getting married and having a family. I strongly believe that one of the reasons the story of Anne has become so beloved is that it follows her from her starting point of (as Anne would say) “the depths of despair” and shows that good things can come when people care about each other. ## Downton Abbey (2010-2015) ![Boxed set of the "Downton Abbey" TV series](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/downton-abbey.jpg) The series starts in 1912 in a world that still seems to go on like it always has (even though change is right there). When it ends, it’s the mid-1920s and the world is immensely different from the way it used to be. Everyone has to adjust to the new rules of the game (of life). Common to all these is that the storyline goes on for several years. Or even a lifetime. So we learn ever so much about the characters and get to see how life works out for not just the main protagonist, but also the people around him/her. To be sure, a story that takes place in a short period of time or even real time, can be deeply engaging and we can learn a lot about the characters, _at that point in their lives_. But we don’t get “the rest of the story.” We don’t get to see how it all worked out, after all the excitement died down. Did the life-changing decisions work out and the character stay on the new course? Or did they go back to their old ways? How did their decisions affect others around them? In a long timeline story, you get the opportunity to find out. A long timeline story is similar to a biography, where you get to see a real person’s whole life played out and can see how they got to where they are today, or if they passed away, what their legacy to future generations is. Except for, in the story we’re talking fiction (or “inspired by true events”). The value for me as a reader is that I don’t life my life in just a short story. My life takes place over many years. So a story that covers a key change point in life may be helpful and encouraging within its limited scope. But a story timeline that covers an entire life or a significant number of years in that life, gives insight into how things in life can and do build on each other, how we grow, change, develop. There’s also something comforting and familiar about reading a series of books about the same characters. Or watching several movies or a TV series featuring the same ensemble cast. Because instead of having to get to know and understand all new characters, we get to dive deeper into the lives of the characters we already know. And we see them develop. To be sure, there are TV series were the characters change very little from the first episode to the last, seasons later. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about storytelling that mimics real life and in real life, people change over time. While in many ways I’m the same person I was when I was 20, in many other ways, I’m not when I’m 40 or even 60. I have so much more experience of life (happy and sad). Even time itself appears different. At 20, a year makes a huge difference. At 60, the years seem to go by rather quickly any more. We make better and more successful choices in life when we play things forward, rather than just thinking of what the choice in front of me will accomplish in the next few minutes or days. If I do this today, what effect will that have on my life 5 years from now? In 10 years? Stories can engage, entertain and encourage us. They can also allow us to explore scenarios we might never find ourselves in in real life. By exploring them in stories, we learn more about ourselves and our place in the bigger world. In the process, we become better equipped to deal with that big world we’re in. If you haven’t read a series of books following the same characters over a long period of time, or watched a movie, series of movies or TV series built on a long timeline, try it. You might find that the characters in the stories become like old friends and you look forward to finding out what happened next. In addition to the books and TV shows I mentioned already, here are a few more: ## When Harry met Sally (1989) ![When Harry met Sally cover](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/when-harry-met-sally.png) A 12 year on and off, but mostly off, romance that definitely qualifies in this category. It sticks with us precisely because it took “forever” for Harry and Sally to finally get together. ## Winds of War & War and Remembrance Herman Wouk ![Book covers of "Winds of War" and "War and Remembrance"](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/war-books.jpg) This epic masterpiece follows an American family from before World War II, through the war in Europe, Africa and the Pacific, all the way to peace at last and attempts at finding a new normal for those who survived. ## Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Before Midnight (1995, 2004, 2013) ![Before Sunrise and Before Sunset movie covers](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/before.jpg) This movie trilogy follows Celine and Jesse from a chance encounter on a train to Vienna, through a reconnect in Paris 9 years later, to yet another 9 years later as the couple works on figuring out who and what they’ve become and where to go from here. At the end of the third movie, I found myself seriously hoping that there will be another installment of their story come 2022. --- --- title: "3 salesmen, a hotel room and the missing dollar" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/3-salesmen-a-hotel-room-and-the-missing-dollar/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "This is the story of 3 traveling salesmen who ended up at the same hotel in a small town one evening. Only to find out that there was precisely one room left…" last_modified: "2024-11-11T15:49:04+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # 3 salesmen, a hotel room and the missing dollar This is the story of 3 traveling salesmen who ended up at the same hotel in a small town one evening. Only to find out that there was precisely one room left. After some arguing back and forth, the hotel manager agreed to let the 3 men share the room and split the bill. The room was a total of $30 for the night. Each salesman forked over a $10 bill. Everything settled, they headed upstairs to make the best of the accommodations. Late that evening, the manager was going over the books and realized that the the salesmen had been overcharged by $5. Being an honest-minded fellow, he decided to give the men a refund. The bellhop happened to walk by and the manager gave him a $5 bill, telling him to take it up to the 3 salesmen. On the way up, the enterprising bellhop got to thinking. First it occurred to him that those salesmen had no idea that they’d been overcharged and a refund was coming. It was certainly tempting for him to just keep the entire $5. But if he did, and something was said about a refund, most certainly questions would be asked of him. Questions for which he would have no suitable answer. Then another thing struck him: He had a $5 bill. There were 3 salesmen. How to divide the money evenly? So he detoured long enough to make change for the bill. Finally he made it up to the hotel room and presented each salesman with a $1 refund. Because he’d concluded that was an easy division. Besides, nobody would be any the wiser to the fact that he pocketed $2. So let’s total it all up: The salesmen each paid $9, for a total of $27 for the room. Add to that the $2 the bellboy kept and we have $29. Hm, what happened to the other dollar? That certainly seems like a trick question. One worthy of investigation by Inspector Clouseau, or even better, Hercule Poirot. Because there’s something fishy going on here. Somewhere on the way from the hotel lobby to that shared room, $1 disappeared into thin air. Math-minded readers will now have pen and paper out to do calculations. Other readers will be upset and conclude that this is part of a conspiracy plot. Certainly someone seems to be getting defrauded here. Question is who: The salesmen? The hotel manager? Or the bellhop? Actually, this story is a great illustration of how we often deal with situations around us: We get (some) facts (or a reasonable facsimile thereof), conclude we know enough and form an opinion about what’s going on. But do we really know? > **_“Most of the mistakes in thinking are inadequacies of perception rather than mistakes of logic.”_** **_Edward de Bono_** Back to those 3 salesmen. What really happened? And who ended up with that last $1? Let’s do the math: | Final charge for the room: | $25 | | --- | --- | | Bellhop kept: | $2 | | Total spent: | $27 | |  |   | | Initial charge: | $30 | | Refunded: | -$3 | | Total: | $27 | So it all balances out. If pure logic reigned, we’d be done right here. The problem is that in reading the story initially, we may not think of the $2 that the bellhop kept as a cost, but as a payment and include it in the wrong place: Total payment by salesmen: $27 ($9 x 3 salesmen) Bellhop’s take: $2 Added together: $29 Which leaves $1 “missing” from the original $30 paid. But from the perspective of the salesmen, it all went down like this: | Initial charge: | $30 | | --- | --- | | Refund: | -$3 | | Actual total: | $27 | From the perspective of the hotel manager: | Initial charge: | $30 | | --- | --- | | Refund: | $5 | | Actual total: | $25 | The difference between what the salesmen think is the total charge for the room and what the hotel manager actually ended up with is $2! Which we know the bellhop kept. The “missing” $1 only appears when we jump to conclusions and some bad math. ## What does this have to do with real life? **_“I mean, you could claim that anything’s real if the only basis for believing in it is that nobody’s proved it doesn’t exist!” ― J.K. Rowling_** It happens in friendships, marriages, at work, in politics, in religion — any place humans interact: We get a bunch of more or less accurate facts. We bundle them together (interpret) into a scenario of what must have happened or how we _think_ things went down. Next thing, we pronounce that a _definitive explanation_. And we’re off looking for that missing $1 that was never missing at all. All because we didn’t take time to look at the issue from another perspective or to double check the facts we had before us. So we make up our own “truth”. Our own explanation of how things must be and then maybe go looking for more facts to support that view. Instead of viewing the available facts from multiple angles. Instead of getting somebody else’s perspective (and I’m not talking about somebody who sees everything exactly like I do). For instance, in the hotel room story, let’s go a step further: The 3 salesmen actually talk to the hotel manager and learn that the room was really supposed to be $25. But, remember, they together ended up paying $27. Surely they’d want to know what happened to the other $2. And I’m pretty sure the hotel manager wouldn’t be so happy to find out that his customers think they paid $27 when he only got $25. He’d want to know where the missing $2 went. Who in the story has an interest in getting the focus redirected to the “missing $1”? Why, of course it’s the bellhop. Because if everybody else is busy focusing on where the “missing $1” went (that never existed in the first place), then they won’t come after him for the $2 he pocketed. **_Redirection._** Not so very different from smoke and mirrors in a carnival show. Because if our focus isn’t on seeking to fully understand and be understood, then we’ll forever be chasing some version of the “missing dollar”. ## What can we do instead? - **Get the facts** — there is probably much more to know than what first meets the eye - **Understand the facts** — this involves some thinking and analysis. Maybe also getting clarification and additional information. - **Form an opinion** — decide based on all the available facts (and understand that this decision isn’t set in stone, it’s based on the available facts) - **Re-evaluate** — as you learn more and new facts appear, be willing to adjust your opinion. There’s always the possibility we were wrong in the first decision or opinion. - **Don’t affix permanent labels to other people** — when we reduce others to labels, it makes them less human and less valuable. - **Practice seeing a situation from another person’s viewpoint** — it may help reinforce the conclusion you came to. Or it may make you change your conclusion. Either way, you’re more grounded. Remember, the issue here isn’t really the math. That can be sorted out and once the numbers are put in the right places, it all becomes pretty clear. The issue is the trick statement: _“The salesmen paid 3x $9 or $27. The bellhop kept $2. That adds up to $29. Which raises the question: Where did the other dollar go?”_ It’s a red herring. But it will keep you chasing for a long time. For no good reason at all, except confusion. Which in the end helps no one. > **_“Everything must be taken into account. If the fact will not fit the theory—let the theory go.”_** **_Agatha Christie,_ The Mysterious Affair at Styles** ## _**Reflection:**_ _What is an area where you would do well to reexamine the facts as you know them?_ _Maybe get some more info and really seek to see the issue from the perspective of the other side? How might doing so actually be a win-win for everybody affected?_ --- --- title: "The one with giving thanks" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/the-one-with-giving-thanks/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "I bet most of us have sat at a table at Thanksgiving, faced with the question, asked of each person in turn: “What are you thankful for?”" last_modified: "2024-11-12T15:17:57+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # The one with giving thanks Giving thanks. Thanksgiving. I bet most of us have sat at a table at Thanksgiving, faced with the question, asked of each person in turn: “What are you thankful for?” Then we have to come up with some profound answer. Because being thankful for the turkey and trimmings isn’t enough by itself. Why do we often hesitate when asked to name what we’re thankful for? As in draw a complete blank. Partly that’s because we think that it has to be something deep and complex. Being grateful to be alive or some other obvious things may seem, well, too obvious. So we have to dig deeper for something more _“worthy”_. Having gotten everybody to say (mumble) a few things they’re thankful for, we take a collective sigh of relief and move on to the real task at hand — the turkey and all the other culinary abundance. ## To give thanks or not to give thanks But is giving thanks just for that one day of the year? Don’t we have reason to be thankful for lots of things throughout the year? Seems much of the time we approach things like Jimmy Stewart’s character in _Shenandoah_: _“Lord, we cleared this land. We plowed it, sowed it, and harvested. We cooked the harvest. It wouldn’t be here, we wouldn’t be eatin’ it, if we hadn’t done it all ourselves. We worked dog-bone hard for every crumb and morsel. But we thank you just the same anyway, Lord, for this food were about to eat. Amen.”_ That captures how we seem to look at this “giving thanks” business much of the time: I worked hard, made it happen and I deserve it. No real need to give thanks to anybody. We also take things for granted — having work, paychecks, housing, food, clothes, family, friends. The list goes on. We’re not all that thankful for any of it. We just expect it to be there. Would be terribly upset if it wasn’t there tomorrow. But not that grateful that it was there today. ## Remembering what we’re grateful for Several years ago I started to journal again (had done so many years ago, but stopped). The impetus was that Diane and I were experiencing many things to give thanks for in the midst of serious health issues. One day in there, it hit me: If I don’t write this down, I will forget it. I won’t remember all the details of how we made it through this period of our lives and all the awesome, generous things that others did for us, that God did for us. I started writing a journal again. Still do. Every day. Because there are things each day to be thankful for and I want to record and remember them. ## What happens when we do give thanks? Thanking somebody for what they did has a positive effect on the other person. I’m again and again amazed at how much more willing people are to do things when you tell them “thanks”. Sadly, I think that’s at least in part that’s because they don’t hear it nearly enough. From my perspective, when somebody likes what I did, it just makes me want to do more for them. Some people take the view that praise and thanks will just make others complacent and that you have to hound and micromanage people to get their best performance. For the most part, they instead get the worst, or at least average, performance. Because who really likes not being appreciated? When I thank somebody it also has a positive effect on me. It puts me in a better mood and things just seem to go better. Maybe there’s something contagious about giving thanks… Certainly once I start recording things I’m grateful for, I tend to discover more things to give thanks for. Many of them things I just took for granted before. So my outlook on life changes in a positive direction. ## Health benefits of giving thanks [Medical research](https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2014/11/23/7-scientifically-proven-benefits-of-gratitude-that-will-motivate-you-to-give-thanks-year-round/#771d65d7183c) tells us that there are health benefits to gratitude as well. Grateful persons have better physical and psychological health. They have more empathy for others and less aggression. They sleep better. Their self-esteem improves. And grateful persons generally get along with others better. Bottom line: It’s healthy to be grateful. ## How do we do this ‘giving thanks’ thing? Here are 5 things you can do today to practice gratitude: - **Think about gratitude** — and actually look for things to give thanks for. - **Experiment for a day:** Catch other people doing something nice, or right, and let them know. - **Consider what’s going well in your life** or what you have to be grateful for. Big. Small. In between. Doesn’t matter. Just express your gratitude. - **Say “thanks”.** Not just in general, but be specific in letting the other person know what you’re thanking them for. - **Write it down.** In your journal or day planner. Make a note on your phone. A Post It above your desk. Wherever. But write it down. We’re more likely to remember things we write down. So make a habit to write down things that you’re grateful for. It will change your perspective. - **Extra points: Write a note of thanks** (on paper, handwritten) and mail it to somebody who did something for you or who made a difference in your life. Recently, I got a note in the mail from a client, expressing thanks for the work I’d done on a project. Handwritten. Yeah, it’s still sitting on my desk. No need to be like my uncle Sture, whose declared motto was “you shouldn’t be grateful”. Because, he’d explain, then you get complacent and won’t push for things to change or get better. Except all it did for him was make him a complainer. And bitter. Instead, join with me in practicing gratitude. Say “thanks”. Let others around you know you appreciate them. They’ll love it and it will change your perspective. --- --- title: "The guns fell silent" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/the-guns-fell-silent/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "11am, 11/11/1918. The day the guns fell silent in Europe, after over 4 years of the bloodiest war ever. The war that became known as the Great War. Or the War to End All Wars." last_modified: "2024-09-16T01:18:04+00:00" categories: [History] --- # The guns fell silent 11am, 11/11/1918. The day the guns fell silent in Europe, after over 4 years of the bloodiest war ever. The war that became known as the Great War. Or the War to End All Wars. Because modern warfare had become so terrible. So deadly. So damaging that it would surely forever deter humankind from using war to settle differences ever again. I was born long after the Great War became known World War I. Since war didn’t end with it. In my school history books, WWI was already just a few pages between other events of long ago. Even my parents, who were born right before and during WWI, had only the most fleeting memories of the war. Sweden was neutral during WWI and saw no combat. So how did WWI make itself remembered in a small town in Southern Sweden decades later? Because of Anton Olsson. Anton and his wife Alma lived on the street I grew up on. Anton was long retired. He’d had his own business, grinding and etching patterns into crystal and glass. Very fine and delicate creations. Still have a few samples of his work. The old business sign was still there on his outbuilding. But he was long retired. Spent the days gardening and watching over his honey bees. All very intriguing for a kid. Add to that his war experience. Not talking about World War II. My dad was in the Swedish military throughout WWII. No, Olsson fought in the Great War. Being an adventuresome young man (20-something) when the war raged on the European continent, he wanted in on it. Sweden was neutral, so he did the logical thing: Emigrated to Canada and joined up. I wish I’d found out more about his war experience. Like when and where and what kind of action he actually saw. And why he chose to leave the safety of Sweden to cross the Atlantic so he could volunteer to fight in the bloodiest war anyone had ever seen. All I know for sure is that he went to Canada and there volunteered to go fight in the Great War. Obviously he made it through alive, without being maimed, and eventually found his way back to Sweden. But somehow knowing he was in the war, makes reading the historical accounts more real, more personal for me. A reminder that those were real people. Who lived, breathed, and for all too many, died on the battle field. As I write this, it’s 11/11/2018. Exactly 100 years since Armistice Day. The day the shooting stopped and the war ended. The world was completely different from 4+ years earlier when it all started. Everyone’s take on it then was that it would all be over by Christmas. Off to war, victory and back home. Life goes on. Except it didn’t. The scars are still with us. Verdun, France, was the location of one of the biggest and bloodiest battles on the Western Front in WWI. After the war was over, the area where all the fighting happened, crisscrossed by trenches and fortifications, was so shot up and destroyed, that it was assumed it would never again be fit for human use and agriculture. Trees were planted and nature allowed to slowly reclaim the area. 100 years later, the ground is still pockmarked with shell craters. The trenches are still there. So are crumbling bunkers and other fortifications. Each year, tons of unexploded artillery shells are dug up out of ground, rivers and lakes in the area. Someone estimated that possibly as many as 1 in 4 shells didn’t explode on impact. I’ve never made it to the battlefield at Verdun. I have visited Gettysburg, the site of a battle that raged for a few days and that didn’t materially alter the lasting shape of the landscape. Just outside the town where I grew up in Sweden is the site of a major battle between Swedes and Danes in 1677. A battle that lasted a couple of days. Today, only a monument raised much later serves as a reminder of the bloody battle on that ground. Occasionally farmers finds uniform buttons or small metal objects, like a dagger or part of a gun, that have been buried below this farmland for several centuries. The battle at Verdun went on for years, more or less heatedly. Everything there was blown up, over and under so many times, it’s no wonder it was deemed impossible to turn it back into anything useful when the shooting finally stopped. But the scars left by WWI go much deeper. The Great War changed us. It was so horrifying and so huge that it affected the whole view of life and meaning thereof (or lack of) for many. There was suddenly nothing truly enduring if the world might be blown up in an instance. Others latched on to conspiracy theories, like the “stab-in-the-back” — the idea that Germany didn’t lose the war at the front, but was stabbed in the back by the civilian government and forced into a crushing peace. This theory started as a way to shift blame away from those who led the disastrous military campaigns. It soon became the justification for the Nazis and paved the way for WWII. As we commemorate the end of the hostilities 100 years ago, the question we have ask is: How did a political assassination turn into a World War? I wager that was far beyond what Gavrilo Princip had in mind when he took the momentary opportunity to shoot and kill Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife Sophie. But once those shots were fired, one thing led to another, and another and another. Continually escalating what should have been handled as a significant, but nevertheless regional terrorist attack. On a personal level, that’s a powerful reminder that we can set in motion events that we will have no way whatsoever to control or stop once we’ve done the initial setting in motion. A world war may result or it may be a friendship or marriage torn up over “irreconcilable differences”. Ones that may not have been so totally irreconcilable even at the stage when escalation happened. But words (and actions) have power. When life become us vs. them. Me against the other person. We may hide it behind “it’s just business” or “that’s the way things are”. To be sure, things were tense politically between a number of countries in Europe prior to the Great War. Nations saw themselves as better than their neighbors and certainly much more important. _Our needs must be met, even if it’s at the expense of our neighbors._ And there was tension from the world changing rapidly, both economically and socially. There were those who wanted to keep things the way they used to be at all cost. And there were those who wanted to change things into a new world order at all cost. Along with any position in-between. I’d like to think that the great tragedy that was WWI could have been avoided, if clearer heads had prevailed. If the focus from so many people hadn’t been on being stubborn and escalating the rhetoric. Reconciliation in relationships, between nations and between people, is possible as long as we’re alive. Then again, the view when it all started, was that this will never get really bad. Just a quick campaign. Teach “the other guys” a lesson, make a victory and we’ll be home by Christmas. 5-6 months at the tops. No one’s plans anticipated 4 years of stalemate in trenches. Just like we don’t anticipate lasting fallout from a few harsh words. But it happens. No one expected that 4+ years of shooting and blowing up would so destroy the land that even 100 years later, the scars are still there. Overgrown, but there. Just like it takes a minute or two to say or do something that breaks trust and breaks a relationship. But years and maybe decades to rebuild that trust and relationship, if ever. The lasting lesson from the overgrown battlefield at Verdun and from the remembrance of Armistice Day is that it’s far easier to tear apart than it is to put things back together. That’s a lesson we must never forget. --- --- title: "It’s about time _________" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/its-about-time-_________/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "“We are the stories we tell ourselves.” “Failure doesn’t ruin your story. Failure helps you write it.” “Dream big. Start small. Keep moving.” Impressions from Tribe Conference 2018." last_modified: "2024-11-12T15:19:19+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # It’s about time _________ The scene: An old factory where they used to build Magic Chef stoves. It could have been torn down, but instead is now a combination of eateries, boutique shops and event venues. With a farmers’ market on Saturdays. The perfect place to bring over 250 creatives, writers and bloggers together. This is the Tribe Conference, held in Franklin, Tennessee. People came from all over the US and a few other countries. This year marked my 3rd time at Tribe. Each year has been totally unique. ([My report from last year’s Tribe Conference.](https://claesjonasson.com/my-cup-runneth-over/)) The Tribe Conference is the brain child of Jeff Goins, writer, blogger, coach and mentor. From Friday afternoon through Sunday afternoon, there were sessions with top-notch speakers, trainings, and lots of time to connect with other like-minded people. Because everyone there has a common desire to get a message out, to make a difference in this world. ![Jeff Goins explaining the hot seat concept for getting unstuck](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/hot-seat.jpg)Jeff Goins explaining the hot seat concept for get unstuck and ready to move forward Friday started right off with a hot seat session for premium attendees, facilitated by Jeff himself. The hot seat approach is great for getting unstuck. Person A shares a question or problem they’re dealing with. The other 3-4 people around the table then have 5 minutes to ask clarifying questions. Goal is to dig deeper. To get all the facts. Once that’s done, person A will restate the question or problem, based on the conversation so far. For the next 5 minutes, the others offer solutions and possible next steps. Finally, person A picks the 3 or so things to implement for going forward. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Maybe even a bit silly. But so very effective. Just the thing to get past a roadblock and move forward again. Each round takes 16 minutes. By the time you’ve gone all around the table, you know each other much better and have additional ideas from questions the others raised. ![Tribe Conference speakers: Charles Lee, Marsha Shandur, Chase Jarvis and Amy Landino](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/speakers-1.jpg)Tribe Conference speakers: Charles Lee, Marsha Shandur, Chase Jarvis and Amy Landino _**“We don’t connect over our pretend perfection. We connect over our shared struggle. Be brave enough to go first.” — Paul Angone**_ The 18 conference speakers are all very different. Some brought practical steps, ready to apply. Think effectively using video on YouTube, public speaking, or getting that book you’ve dreamed of onto paper in the next 90 days. Other speakers very much focused on the creative process and what will help us keep going for the long haul. **_“You can easily succeed your way into failure.” — Todd Henry_** We become known for something that we are good at. Then keep doing it and fail to grow further. We can also become so focused on a task that we fail the mission. Rather we must keep our eyes on the bigger picture and continually take risks as we move on a path of constant reinvention and growth. **_Marsha Shandur_**, in the way only she can and with a British accent, reminded us that people around us will follow our physical cues, because they don’t know what’s going on inside our heads. So if we behave calmly and with confidence, people will think we are just that. **_Melissa Dinwiddie_** brings a whirlwind of play to help us all be more creative. A few of her tips: - **Think process, not product.** The purpose is to play, to feel alive, to do. - **Think tiny and daily.** Doing a little every day keeps us in the creative stream and we’re more likely to make the big breakthrough eventually. I talked to a writer afterward who is now starting on a daily writing habit of writing for 15 minutes a day. Doesn’t sound like much, but that can get her next book written in the coming year. - **Just start — anywhere.** If we overthink and over-intellectualize, we don’t do anything. **_“Self-awareness + self-compassion = the key to everything good.” — Melissa Dinwiddie_** **_Chase Jarvis_**, photographer and co-founder of CreativeLive, pointed out that being creative is about replication: _**“I did this, I can do it again.”**_ Also, none of us can stand out and fit in at the same time. We can’t start infectious ideas by hiding our work. So we need to get out where others can see. As **_Charles Lee_** put it: **_“Always act like an apprentice.”_** We can either stay comfortable and fit in, or we can pave the way. Just can’t do both. Ever. _**“Dream big. Start small. Keep moving.” — Charles Lee**_ ![More Tribe Conference speakers: Nicole Gulotta, Todd Henry, Melissa Dinwiddie and Ken Davis](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/speakers-2.jpg)More Tribe Conference speakers: Nicole Gulotta, Todd Henry, Melissa Dinwiddie and Ken Davis **_Dave Delaney_** brought us the “yes and…” concept. It’s about how we interact with others. Interpersonal interactions often are rushed or brushoffs. We can change that by embracing “yes and…”. Which is also the foundation of good improvisation, because it keeps the story developing. 2 persons doing an improv: Person 1: “I fell down and hurt my arm.” Person 2: “Nah, that looks just fine.” Okay, that ended the conversation. Contrast with this: Person 1: “I fell down and hurt my arm.” Person 2: “Yes, and I see your leg is banged up too.” Person 1: “Yes, and I had to go to the hospital to get checked to make sure I was okay.” Person 2: “Good thing. And while there, did you also get a flu shot?” With the “yes and…” approach the conversation keeps moving forward. Each person receives what the other says and gives them something to build on for going forward. Works great in any conversation. _**“Failure doesn’t ruin your story. Failure helps you write it.” — Paul Angone**_ Ever feel like you procrastinate too much? **_Alli Worthington_** has a solution: **The 10-10-10 analysis** - **How will I feel about this in 10 minutes?** — It will suck, because I’m doing hard work. - **How will I feel about this in 10 weeks?** — Pretty good. Because I launched out on something new. - **How will I feel about this in 10 months?** — Awesome, because I’m now on a roll and seeing results of taking action. **_Tim Grahl_** reminded us that fear will always be around. Creative people (and most everybody else) are always dealing with a fear of putting work out for the world to see. Because what if they don’t like it this time around? Many of us think that once I get to be the best, that fear will go away and so we push forward. Except once we get to the top, we realize that the fear of failure is still there. Maybe even more so, because the stakes are higher now. After all, there’s a reputation to live up to. The thing is, we all have a purpose: To put our work out in the world for others to see, for those who came before us and for those who come after us. **_“Decide to think differently about yourself.” — Ken Davis_** is a bundle of energy, even though he’s 70+ and has a medical condition that keeps him from flying. Never mind. He’s still challenging us to be better communicators. Because **_“it’s not about what you say, it’s about how what you say (write, create) affects the audience’s lives.”_** The real question is “What is my ultimate purpose?” When Ken could no longer get on airplanes, did that end his purpose? By no means. His purpose hasn’t changed. Only the setting. I like that view, because for too many of us, our identity is all about what we’re doing right now. And if that goes away, we’re lost. **_Ken_** reminded us that **_“as a man thinks, so he is.”_** What we think, we will become. Yet sometimes we are a lot more than we think we are. The goal then is to think rightly of ourselves, not too much and not too little. **Because at the end of the day, it’s about time. As in “it’s about time to _________________”** ![Group of fiction writers](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/writers-lunch.jpg)Fiction writers lunch — writing in very different genres, but all doing fiction One of the days, I organized a lunch for fiction writers. Because for most people at the conference, “writing” means non-fiction books or blogging. Even so, there were some fiction writers at the conference and it was great to get together to find out what we’re all working on. Awesome spread: Coming of age, family saga, romance, sci-fi, steampunk, alternate universe. Yes, we’re diverse. But have in common that we’re writing fiction. Lots of good conversation and ideas flowing. Now looking at ways to keep everyone connected for mutual encouragement. **It’s about time.** A writer friend from Tribe just launched a writing coaching challenge for children’s book authors to get their next book done in 90 days. She was inspired by one of the speakers at Tribe and already turned that spark into action. For me, it’s about a novel. Some of you know that I’ve been working on a novel ([CarensaHolt.com](https://carensaholt.com)) for a long time. Really long time, because it keeps getting put on the back burner for more urgent projects. That’s about to change. For me it’s about time to finish that book. --- --- title: "The one with Faith in it" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/the-one-with-faith-in-it/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Faith movies or TV-series are often a mixed bag. So here is a movie and 3 TV series that give a fresh perspective on faith and life. Check them out." last_modified: "2024-11-13T12:52:01+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # The one with Faith in it Faith movies or TV-series are often a mixed bag. They can get a bit cringeworthy as they take us on a (heavy-handed) journey from unbelief to epiphany to redemption. The term conjures up a vision of something that will preach quick (predictable) solutions to a stereotypical set of characters with a given outcome in mind. Everything is there to bring us to the “come-to-Jesus moment”. All so clearly spelled out nobody can possibly miss it. In many romcoms we know from the first scene or two who the guy and gal are that will get together by the end of the movie. Similarly in many faith movies, we know from the first moment who is going to have an epiphany with their life changed. Because, we clearly see that character _really_ needs their life changed. So I get excited when I run across a movie or TV-show that deals with faith in a setting that is more authentic. Where we see characters actually grapple with their questions, search for answers and somehow make sense of life. Because that’s something we’re all looking for. In real life, that’s a messy and often quite meandering process that takes time. ![Scene from "Indivisible": Darren and Heather in counseling](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/indivisible.jpg) ## Indivisible This movie is based on the real-life experiences of Army Chaplain Darren Turner and his wife Heather. Fresh from seminary and basic training, he’s deployed to Iraq and gets right into the war scene. Back home, Heather is faced with helping other military families make sense of things, while doing life… Darren gets thrown right into real battle — can you ever really prepare for that experience? On the base and on missions, he works to connect and minister to soldiers who may or may not be interested in what he has to say. All is not over once he comes home from deployment. Life is forever changed, but is he able to deal with that change? Can back home deal with him? _Indivisible_ is the latest film written and directed by David G. Evans. I’ve known David for almost 2 decades and he’s provided updates from the very first stages. So glad to see it in theaters now. After seeing the movie in a pre-screening, I told him that I had no idea how long it was, because it started, developed and kept going. So I never sat there wondering about other things. Too busy following the story. Which is a good sign. I highly recommend you go see _Indivisible_. It’s not just a movie for our military families, but for everyone, because we all have to deal with life, faith, what we do (or don’t) believe in, as well as how we build and maintain that faith. _Indivisible_ opens in theaters on 10/26/2018. [Learn more on the movie website.](https://indivisiblemovie.com) And now, as they say on Monty Python, for something completely different: ![The cast of "Living Biblically"](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/living-biblically.jpg) ## Living Biblically This short-lived sitcom chronicled newspaper film critic Chip Curry’s efforts to literally live according to the Bible. He was prompted to set out on this journey by the death of his best friend. Guiding him on the quest are a priest and a rabbi. Since it’s a sitcom, it’s not surprising that the things Chip decide to pick for living Biblically are rather random and frequently don’t work out so well. The show was cancelled after one season and I can see why — because how many unique episodes can you really do on this theme in a sitcom format? Even so, within the comedy, there are questions raised about how we actually go about living according to the Bible. That’s something many of us have struggled with as we work out what we believe in and how it shapes us. ![Promo picture for "The Good Place" — Everything is fine — Michael and Eleanor on couch](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/the-good-place.jpg) ## The Good Place This quirky show is now in its 4th season on NBC. You can catch prior seasons on Netflix. _The Good Place_ starts with 4 people (Eleanor, Chidi, Tahani, Jason) who have just died on Earth and now find themselves in something called The Good Place (as opposed to The Bad Place), where they are greeted by Michael. Certainly looks like Paradise. Except there are cracks. Just maybe everything is not quite as it seems. The series raises plenty of philosophical questions (Chidi is a philosophy teacher) about life and existence, good and evil. What constitutes a good life? Should there be another chance to get it right after death? Is it possible to tip the scales and change one’s eternal destiny? _The Good Place_ is 30 minute episodes, so easy to find time to watch it. It’s engaging, digestible. Whenever the characters think they’ve found a suitable philosophical or practical solution to their current dilemma, a progressive complication pops up, because there’s always something they forgot to think about. When I started watching the series, I wondered how long the concept would hold up. Maybe a season or two. It’s now in season 4 and still thought-provoking, thanks to clever writing. The characters are still changing, redeeming their lives to become who they really could be. I look forward to each new episode and what philosophical dilemmas they’ll tackle next. Eternal destiny hangs in the balance. ![Poster for "God Friended Me"](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/god-friended-me.jpg) ## God Friended Me I’m always a bit hesitant to recommend a new show, because I’ve seen trailers that looked great and then you watch the actual show, only to realize the promo contained ALL the good parts. Not going to get any better. That said, the premise of _God Friended Me_ sounded interesting as the series sets out to explore questions of faith, existence and science. The main characters: Miles is a podcaster atheist who gets friended by God on Facebook. That turns his life upside down. Miles next gets friend suggestions from God via Facebook and runs into those people around New York. Then there’s Cara, writer for an online magazine. She was a friend suggestion from God to Miles and the two become friends. Rakesh is Miles’ friend and a “dedicated game player” (aka hacker) with a knack for shutting down all computers around. Together they end up being change agents in the lives of people they meet, all the while trying to track down the mysterious God account. The show is in some ways an exercise in how many degrees of separation there really are between people. People who don’t know each other end up connected, changing each others lives in the process. Is it predictable? Possibly. But a good reminder of why we need to step out of our preconceived notions. And why we need each other — including people we haven’t yet met. A few episodes into the first season, it’s a good show. The kind of story I’d like to see more of. Where good things happen to people. It also makes me think. I don’t get Facebook messages from God, telling me to go find this or that person. But what seemingly random connections are there as I go about the day? Ones where I can connect with another person and make a difference in their life, briefly or for a long time. And am I looking for those opportunities? Good movies and TV shows entertain and engage us. Make us think deeper about life and what we’re all about. Spur us to life change and action. When that happens, our lives and the lives of those we interact with are changed for the better. That’s faith in action. --- --- title: "Remembering the train to Monaco" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/remembering-the-train-to-monaco/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "At Copenhagen Central Station trains left for exotic places like Paris, Moscow, Rome. I'd board a night train and tomorrow morning wake up somewhere in Germany. That was adventure. Worth remembering." last_modified: "2024-11-11T15:32:53+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Remembering the train to Monaco It was a crazy spring. One I didn’t want to relive any time soon. As winter receded, I still had lots of plans for the future. Then as the world outside grew warmer and greener, my world fell apart. I broke up with my girlfriend. And that shot down any summer plans. As school ended, I got a job in the harbor, doing industrial cleaning. Not exciting and nothing whatsoever to do with the photography I was studying in school. But it was a job. I approached friends about traveling across Europe together — because I had no other plans for vacation. At first, a modest “That’d be cool.” Then nothing. At all. Somehow, I must have decided to step out of the box after all. If no friends were coming, I’d just go alone. I got a rail pass and [bought a big, blue backpack](https://claesjonasson.com/about-a-backpack/). I had a plan. ## A train journey to remember One evening in late July the adventure started with a train ride from my small home town to the city. Then a ferry across the strait to Copenhagen. Finally I was at the gate to the wide world: _Københavns Hovedbanegård_ (Copenhagen Central Station). When you grow up in southern Sweden, Denmark (or at least Copenhagen) isn’t _really_ foreign soil. They just talk differently. At Copenhagen Central Station there were trains with destination signs for exotic places like Paris, Moscow, Rome. The loudspeakers made announcements in 5 languages: Danish, Swedish, English, German, French. By the time they got to the last language, announcing the imminent departure of the train, said train was more often than not already rolling away from the platform. But it was totally cosmopolitan. Here I’d board a night train and tomorrow morning wake up somewhere in Germany. That was adventure. A long train made up of sleepers, couchettes and regular coaches rolled in. Being young and on an adventure, I traveled without any reservations. So dashed for a train car whose destination sign indicated that it was going far, far into Germany, and got on as soon as the train stopped. Found a seat in a compartment and stashed my backpack on the overhead luggage rack. My goal was Monaco – Monte Carlo, beyond Germany, the Alps and France, far down on the Mediterranean coast. I stayed on that train all through the night, waking up to watch the train roll onto and then off a ferry and later stop for a while in Hamburg, exchanging cars with other trains. Next day was all on the train, speeding through Germany. By evening, I got off in Geneva, Switzerland. From there I boarded another night train and eventually woke up as that train was leaving Marseilles, early the next morning. The countryside was dotted with cypresses, acacias, palms and olive trees. Houses were white with red tile roofs. Then there it was: The Mediterranean Sea. As blue as I’d imagined it. I was really on the _Côte d’Azur_, the French Riviera. The train snaked through curve after tight curve, hugging the rocky coastline. We stopped in Cannes. I was glued to the open window to soak in this new world. Palm trees and cactuses. Lots of craggy rock. Brilliant sunshine. Beaches and boats. And always the sea. The train left Nice. Couldn’t be much farther now. It got my backpack on, to be ready to get off. The train came around a curve and stopped in a city. I couldn’t see a sign. It seemed to be a little early for Monaco. I stayed on the train. It rolled out through a sweeping bend. I looked back at the city — newly built hotels, a big yacht harbor, a long beach. Surely that was Monaco and I’d missed it. The azure-blue sea gave no answer. The train sped into a tunnel and when it came out, there was another cliff, blocking the view forward. On top of it, amidst palms, was a palace. No question now. I hadn’t missed Monaco. The train dove into another tunnel and as it came back out in daylight, it was already slowing down at a station. I quickly headed out onto the platform. The morning was warm and the air smelled of salt. Fresh and full of possibility. I had arrived and my adventure was starting. ![Downtown Monaco: a policeman directing traffic, including a VW Beetle and a Rolls Royce](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Monaco.jpg)In the heart of Monaco a policeman directs traffic, keeping the rich as well as the not so famous moving. ## Reminiscing I’ve made many journeys since. There have been many more adventures. Some even bigger. There were more momentous events on that very trip. Over the years, other events of importance have happened. So why reminisce about this one journey from long ago? Because we need to remember: - What we have done. - What we accomplished. - What we’re capable of. - What we could do again. When everything was seemingly falling apart that spring, I heard the phrase “it’s always darkest before dawn.” Didn’t make much sense at the time, and yet, looking back, it was somewhere during a time of darkness that the seeds of what would become a great summer were planted. I could have stayed at home all summer. Could easily have worked all summer and then gone back to school. Because who wants to travel all alone? Of course, later on, it’s easy to forget all that and just focus on life right now and the things I face today. ## Remembering Egypt That’s why, even before the Israelites set out from Egypt, God instructed them how to celebrate and remember their deliverance. The milestone of their leaving where they had been for 400 years. Passover was born. And is still celebrated today. So that generations to come will remember what God did for his people back then. And can do for them again. And again. There are many other places in the Bible where we’re told to do set up a marker or to observe a holiday to remember something God did for his people. God wants his people to remember what he has done in their lives and what they have made it through. Same for us. It might be surviving cancer or a stroke. It might be how a random connection turned into a job. How we first met that special someone. Or the birth of a child. There are so many milestones in our lives. If we allow them to just fall into some nebulous past, getting mixed up and turning blurry, we lose track of who we are and all that we can be. When we forget our past, we have to learn all over again. That’s painful. And it doesn’t move us forward. ## Remembering, it’s who we are So it’s a healthy thing to find ways to remember key events, milestones in our lives. We make it reasonably easy with things like anniversaries or birthdays. But there are many other things, more obscure. Yet worth recalling. Some ways we can do that: - Mark dates on a calendar - Put a picture on the wall or desktop that reminds us of a special event - Revisit a place where something important happened - Write down a particular memory (maybe even start journaling) - Create a scrapbook - Talk with family or friends about the event and how it’s important Remembering key events in my life, gives me perspective for today. And reminds me of who I truly am. When facing a new challenge, it’s helped me many times to first stop and remember a similar event in the past. And then, gathering strength and insight from that, I can boldly move forward into what life has ahead for me. ## _Reflection:_ _Take a moment to think of a few experiences from your past that were milestones. How did each of those events affect you? What did they enable you to accomplish? To become? How does that make a difference with things you’re facing today?_ **One more thing:** The rail journey I described above took me from Sweden to Monaco. It was the start of 3 very full weeks of crisscrossing the European continent. It was a life-changing time and also brought new friendships, some of which you can read about in [A moment that changed everything](https://claesjonasson.com/a-moment-that-changed-everything/). --- --- title: "Half full or half empty? And does it matter?" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/half-full-or-half-empty-and-does-it-matter/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "The scene: A glass with water in it. The water is at the half-way mark. Which leads to a crucial question: Is the glass half empty? Or is it half full? Which could make all the difference." last_modified: "2024-11-11T00:40:33+00:00" categories: [Recommended] --- # Half full or half empty? And does it matter? The scene: A glass with water in it. The water is at the half-way mark. Which leads to a crucial question: - Is the glass half empty? - Or is the glass half full? How would you choose to describe it? You might think that it doesn’t make a lot of difference. If the water reaches the 50% point in the glass, then after all, either of the above is true. Depending on your interpretation. And _that_ matters. The objective truth is that the glass contains water to the half-way mark. The rest is up to how we interpret that truth. The truth itself doesn’t change, but how we interpret it can and may have a huge impact on our further actions. At first this may seem like a simple choice: - Half full - Half empty As Sheldon would note, a binary decision: One or the other. But he would also agonize over it, because of the implications. ## Optimist vs. pessimist A glass containing water to the half-way point is often used to point out the difference between optimists and pessimists: The **optimist** sees the glass as half full. She focuses on what is there. So much that can be done with half a glass of water. The **pessimist** sees the glass as half empty. He sees that the glass used to be full and now half of its contents are gone. Soon it will be empty. And he will be thirsty. Woe is him. And then we’re supposed to fit ourselves into one of the 2 boxes presented: half full or half empty. Optimist or pessimist. That was clear-cut, simple. Until I read this: _“People tell me, “You’re such an optimist”. Am I an optimist? An optimist says the glass is half full. A pessimist says the glass is half empty. A survivalist is practical. He says, “Call it what you want, but just fill the glass.” I believe in filling the glass.” — Louis Zamperini_ True. The situation may not be nearly as limited as I first thought. That’s worth considering as we encounter unexpected things in life. Things often seem very black and white at first. But maybe there’s another option? ## Other views Google had no problems coming up with a lot of other ways to look at that glass of water. Here are a few: ![Drawings of 6 glasses half full of water - Realist: Glass of water. Period. — Physical scientist: The glass is actually full. It has water in the bottom half and air in the top. — Relativist: top is half empty, bottom is half full. Both states exist at the same time. — Utopist: The water is on top and the empty space below it. — Skeptic: Is that really water in the glass? — Nihilist: Neither glass nor water exists.](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/glass-interpretations1.png) **Realist: Glass of water. Period.** — Good point. Maybe I’m reading too much into this. **Physical scientist: The glass is actually full. It has water in the bottom half and air in the top.** — There’s more here than meets the eye at first glance, because we’ve been conditioned to not think about air as a thing. We just accept it’s there all the time. **Relativist: Top is half empty, bottom is half full. Both states exist at the same time.** — A little harder to wrap my head around, but a good reminder that it’s often very wise to understand both sides of an issue before making a decision. Keeps us from jumping to conclusions. **Utopist: The water is on top and the empty space below it.** — It’s easy to write off dreamers. But, _“Some men see things as they are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were, and ask why not.” Robert Kennedy._ Breakthroughs in life, science and business don’t come from looking at everything the same old way. We have to dare to dream and imagine what is yet to be. **Skeptic: Is that really water in the glass?** — You would certainly want to know before you gulp down that liquid. There are many other liquids that look like water, but most definitely are not. This could seriously hurt. **Nihilist: Neither glass nor water exists.** — Okay, not sure what to do with this one, except to say that if the glass and water doesn’t exist, there’s a good probability you and I don’t exist either. Which makes me wonder why you’re reading this article! ![Drawings of 6 glasses half full of water - Engineer: The glass is 2x the size it needs to be. Over-engineered. — Peace Corps volunteer: Half a glass of water! I could take a bath in that. – Psychologist: How does the glass of water make you feel? — Socialist: The water belongs to all of us in equal measure. — Conspiracist: The government and the Illuminati are fluoridating the water for mind-control. Don’t. Drink. The water. — Capitalist: The glass belongs to me and I charge rent for it.](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/glass-interpretations2.png) **Engineer: The glass is 2x the size it needs to be. Over-engineered.** — Leave it to an engineer to decide the solution is to adjust the glass to the amount of water available right now. “Right-sizing” seems to be quite popular in business these days. Meaning when things pick up again, there’s no room to handle the growth. That’s a problem in life as well if we give ourselves no margin. **Peace Corps volunteer: Half a glass of water! I could take a bath in that.** – A reminder that we take a lot of things (like plenty of water for a shower) for granted is good to give us perspective on life. And decisions we face. **Psychologist: How does the glass of water make you feel?** — Yes, how does it make you feel? Often we get so focused on other things that we forget how or what we feel. But feelings are important. And certainly there are times when something doesn’t “feel right” and it’s a good warning to stay away, so we don’t get into trouble. **Socialist: The water belongs to all of us in equal measure.** — I’m not the only one around here. And sharing is a good thing. My mom always told me so. **Conspiracist: The government and the Illuminati are fluoridating the water for mind-control. Don’t. Drink. The water.** — To which I can only say: Wow, turn off that computer and get out in real life more. With real people. In daylight. Definitely get your input from more than one source. **Capitalist: The glass belongs to me and I charge rent for it.** — Being enterprising is good. You saw an opportunity and went for it. Except that’s actually my glass, not yours. So you owe me. That’s not nearly the end of variations on how to explain a glass with water in it. But I think you get the point. And hopefully a good laugh or two by now. The objective fact is that there is a glass with water in it, to the half-way mark. That’s a fact. How we interpret that fact has everything to do with who we are, our situation, our thinking, feelings and so on. We can even choose to interpret it in a new way, different from our first inclination. In this simple glass of water there is a huge lesson for problem solving and managing life: Don’t lock yourself into thinking there’s only one way to solve a problem or that it has to be this way or that way. I must consider that my interpretation may not be accurate. Or useful. Because I could be interpreting a situation based on false premises. When we look at problems and decisions from a purely binary perspective, as either/or situations, we’ll often ignore the best solution. Which might be a win-win for everybody involved. One final perspective on that glass of water: _People who focus on whether the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable._ --- --- title: "Why reading fiction will make you healthier" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/why-reading-fiction-will-make-you-healthier/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Reading fiction — not just a guilty pleasure to sneak. It's actually good for you. As in it has physical, mental and emotional health benefits and could make you live longer, while also enjoying life more." last_modified: "2024-11-11T15:51:01+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Why reading fiction will make you healthier Did you know that reading fiction is good for you? We often treat reading fiction like a guilty pleasure. Something we have to steal time out for. Because we have “real” things to do. Turns out that time reading fiction is every bit as real as any other time, and may be quite valuable for our overall health — physically, mentally and emotionally. I wish I’d known that when my mom told me to go outside and play, while I wanted to stay inside and read. ## Physical health You’d think that sitting around reading won’t do anything for your physical health. Turns out it does. We live in a fast-paced, always-on world. Life rushes by. When we read fiction, we disconnect from all that hurrying. We de-stress. That’s a good thing. That’s why I can spend time reading and after what seems like just a few minutes, look up to realize a bunch of time has gone by. What could have been an interminable time of a million haphazard thoughts, was spent focused on something quite different from daily life around me. Escape? Yes. But a good kind that revitalizes my body. Reading eases the transition from active, alert, awake to calm and peaceful. I think that’s why sometimes when I sit down to read, I soon find myself ready to shut my eyes and really rest (take a nap). I’m calmer. When we read fiction at bedtime, we get all those benefits. Even 5 or 6 minutes of reading will shift us off the things of the day and prepare us to rest. We sleep better. [A study](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953616303689) that compared readers with non-readers over 10+ years, found a 20% reduction of mortality among the readers. So since there’s a chance I’ll live longer and healthier by reading fiction, I’m in. I can do that. ## Mental health One of the ways to keep our brains agile as we age is to read. Especially reading fiction means that the brain has to keep track of a lot of different details: characters, locations, timelines, story arcs, relationships and so on. Doing so, we’re creating new brain paths — a good thing. And we’ll then move that information from short term memory to long term memory — another good thing. Plus as we get caught up in the story, our focus improves. There is even some evidence to suggest that avid reading could help delay onset of Alzheimer’s. In addition, some of the physical health benefits carry over to mental health. If we move from stress and anxiety to a calmer, relaxed state, that affects not just the body, but also the mind. Our mindset just improves. [According to researchers at the University of Sussex](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/5070874/Reading-can-help-reduce-stress.html), reading fiction for just 6 minutes can reduce stress by over 60%. That’s awesome and something we all can use and benefit from. ## Emotional health Reading fiction can also help us develop more empathy. Fiction involves relationships between characters in the story. We get to see how those relationships play out — sometimes in a good way and sometimes negatively. The key is that we participate by reading and we observe how things play out. We see different perspectives and possible outcomes. We’ve all had times when we’re cheering a character on to make it against all the odds. Or are ready to give the author a what-for if that evil mastermind of the story gets away with murder. As we read, we explore any number of what-if scenarios, and can compare to how we might act in a similar situation and come out better able to deal with change. Following the characters on the printed page, we also get to read their emotional cues and learn to analyze different characters’ motives. Almost like we were there: _Two researchers from Washington University in St. Louis scanned the brains of fiction readers and discovered that their test subjects created intense, graphic mental simulations of the sights, sounds, movements, and tastes they encountered in the narrative. In essence, their brains reacted as if they were actually living the events they were reading about._ [Fast Company](https://www.fastcompany.com/1659062/social-networking-affects-brains-falling-love) However, when we’re reading, we can get emotionally involved and not have to worry about how our peers will judge that involvement. We may discover feelings we wouldn’t express otherwise. ## Find yourself At some point in life, we have to figure out “Who am I?” “What do I want?” “What’s important in life to me?” We don’t have to make all possible mistakes by ourselves. We can learn from others. From people around us and also from fictional characters and story lines. There’s a concept of a “hero’s journey” with a number of stages that a person on that journey goes through. Each of us in real life are somewhere on our own hero’s journey. Reading about characters like Frodo Baggins, Odysseus or Elizabeth Bennet lets us participate in their journey and learn from them. So we won’t have to struggle through wastelands, fight monsters or navigate English aristocracy. Instead, we see possible new approaches to things facing us in how the story characters deal with their challenges (and successes). ### Reading as therapy Considering all these benefits of reading fiction, it’s no surprise that there is _bibliotherapy_, where books are used as therapy in treating mental or psychological disorders. This approach focuses on the relationship between an individual and the content of books and poetry. This therapy goes all the way back to King Ramses II of Egypt. It is said that there was an inscription over the door to the royal library that read: “The house of healing for the soul.” There is certainly no doubt that reading books, and particularly fiction, can help us solve problems we face. Fictional materials are effective because of identification, catharsis and insight. Identification with a character in the story helps us gain a new way to view our own issues. Empathy with the character of the story allows us to undergo a catharsis to gain hope and release emotional tension. That in turn leads to insight and changed behavior. ## Reading? Nah, I watched the movie I’m a movie fan, so this is a hard realization. But there’s a big difference between reading a fiction story and watching a movie. And it comes out in favor of reading. When I watch a movie, all the gaps are filled in: I see and hear what the characters look like, their environments, all the details around them. Everything is choreographed to tell the story the way the director wants me to experience it. With a book there’s much more latitude. We have to fill in the gaps. We’ll be told something about the characters and the settings, but often much less than we afterward think. That’s because our brains automagically filled in the gaps to create a picture of the story for us, drawing from our life experience. For this reason, there was much trepidation when Peter Jackson’s movie versions of _Lord of the Rings_ came out. Would we recognize the world he created and put on film and accept it as Tolkien’s world? Because each of us, from reading the books, had formed our own ideas of what hobbits and elves looked like and so on. I know a girl who was in her tweens when she first discovered _Harry Potter_. She wasn’t much of a reader at that point. In fact, she read below her grade level. But something about the story resonated with her and that girl who’d only read comic books until then, made her way through _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone_. She then went on to read the other books as they came out. For her, finding a story that resonated with her enabled her to break through a fear of reading, which then helped her forward in many other areas of life. Health benefit indeed. There. Isn’t it nice to know that when you pick up a novel to read some fiction, you’re not wasting time, but actually doing important work to improve your physical, mental and emotional health. All for the price of a book? And you get a good story too. ## _**Reflection:**_ _If you are not a fiction reader, try an experiment: Pick up a fiction book and start reading even 10 minutes a day. Keep going until you finish the book. What did that do for you? Did you gain new insights? Did it help you relax?_ _If you are already a fiction reader, is the variety of fiction you read helping you get the most benefit of your reading? Or could exploring other genres be helpful?_ --- --- title: "Tall tale or real family history?" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/tall-tale-or-real-family-history/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "In the 1800s, many Swedes left the old country to seek their fortune or just a new, hopefully better, life in the big land across the ocean. One of my forefathers was among them. Or was he?" last_modified: "2024-11-12T15:23:10+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # Tall tale or real family history? Every family has stories of their past. Some are claims to fame. Others not so much. In the 1800s many Swedes left the old country to seek fortune or just a new, hopefully better, life in the big land across the ocean. As the story goes, one of my forefathers caught the bug and emigrated. Doing so, he left behind a wife and a number of children, maybe 10. In the new land he became a Mormon. Or maybe he became a Mormon before leaving Sweden. Either way, once he left for America, nothing further was heard of him. The wife and children in Sweden had to make do as best they could. As Anne Shirley of Green Gables would rightly note, that was a tragic story indeed. I heard the story from my dad. Unfortunately, he passed away almost 40 years ago, so there’s no way to go back and ask for more details, like names and years and so on. His siblings are long dead as well. Some years ago, I found a name of an ancestor who could be “the one” and did some sleuthing in passenger manifests of ships bringing people to Ellis Island in the late 1800s. I was curious if there was anyone with that name who came from southern Sweden. However, before I could follow that trail all the way to its conclusion, other things came along. The research was set aside and subsequently misplaced. More recently, I scoured a website a relative from another branch of my family has put together. Through lots of research, he’s built a family tree (or more like a small forest). Around 7,000 people are contained in his research. I went down the branches for my ancestors, looking at births and deaths, as well as locations of death. As Captain Renault in _Casablanca_ would say, I rounded up all the usual suspects. Checked dates and locations. In those listings, everyone is accounted for with dates of death in places in Sweden. If a forefather emigrated to the US, he would have died in the US. He might not be listed with a date of death in this family tree. Or the location of death might show up as “unknown” or in the US. Nothing. Everyone is neatly accounted for. Now I was confused. Could the whole story of an forefather who left his wife and 10 children behind to emigrate to America be a tall tale? Something someone made up and passed on? Maybe. Maybe not. My dad wouldn’t have made that up out of thin air. He did spin tales from time to time, but not that involved ones. He was more in the area of exaggeration or adding a more colorful touch here and there. I decided to email one of my cousins in Sweden. He’s older than I am, from the right branch of the family. I wrote the email and sent it off. Got a reply a few days later. My cousin isn’t much for long emails, but this one was shorter than I’d expected. “I haven’t heard anything like that.” Not exactly what I expected. At this point I figure that there are 3 scenarios: **Scenario 1:** Dad repeated a story he’d heard from someone older than him. Maybe he embellished it a bit. But it turns out it was all fiction to start with. **Scenario 2:** The story is true, with a twist. The forefather who left for America, came back to Sweden later in life and so is listed as having died in Sweden. That might seem odd, but was not unheard of. To be sure, the majority of emigrants from Sweden settled into life in the US and never went back. But some, after years in the new country, later chose to return to their old home country. I’ve met folks who did that over in Sweden. To find out if that’s what happened in this story, would require researching a good number of possible people to learn where they lived throughout their lifetimes. Not just where they were born and died. That could easily become a large undertaking. But could be very interesting, because I’d learn so much about my family history. **Scenario 3:** The story might be true or mostly true, but be about another family that was known to my forefathers. As in not my relatives, but somebody from the area. That of course makes it almost impossible to track down, since it now could be almost anybody. At this point, I was ready to chalk this one off and settle for never knowing exactly what the real deal was. _It’s an interesting story and something like it happened more than once over the span of Swedish emigration to America._ Around 1.3 million people left Sweden for the US in the 1800s and early 1900s. There were men who left their family behind in Sweden, planning to send for them once settled in the New Country. But instead they were never heard from again. Because things happen and communications weren’t that good back then. And I’m sure there were also scoundrels who saw emigration as a chance to skip out on family responsibilities back home and start fresh in a new place where nobody knew them. ![Photo from circa 1900 of a man, with studio imprint "Moline, Illinois"](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Moline-photo-1024x683.jpg) Some time later, I happened to pick up an old photo album with lots of pictures from around 1900. I got it from my dad and the people in it are relatives — long gone. I recognized a few. Since no names are listed, I have no idea who most are. But there are photographer’s imprints. So I know where the pictures were taken. All locations in southern Sweden. Then I got to the last page. A photograph of a man. Maybe in his 30s or 40s. Again no name. But a photographer’s imprint: Moline, Illinois. I did a double take. Photo album from Sweden. With all Swedes. Plus one photo of a mystery man, taken by C.W. Sandstrom in Moline, Illinois. Certainly a photographer of Swedish origin. How did that photo end up in Sweden, in a photo album of my relatives from around 1900? Could this be a photo of that mysterious disappearing ancestor? So here I am. Still with a mystery. A story of a forefather who emigrated, but I can’t verify it. And staring me right in the face, a photograph of a man, taken in Moline, Illinois, that found its way to Sweden and my old family album. I don’t know if I will ever uncover the full truth behind the story of the mysterious emigrant or find the identity of the man in the photograph from Moline. Or if the two are connected. However, the writer in me is starting to spin a story. Maybe some day I will turn all this into a novel. “The emigrant who disappeared”, inspired by a (possibly true, but maybe not) family story. Or one day I may find records that have more information, allowing me to verify once and for all if the story is real. As well as identify who the man in the photograph was. Until then, I have a mystery. One that inspires imagination. Because the story could be true. Things like this happened. So the real question is: Did it happen in my family? Another thought: I used to page through that photo album when I was a kid. Did I notice the location on the mystery picture, “Moline, Illinois”? What if that was the subconscious trigger for me starting to dream of some day going to America myself? Eventually I lived for years just an hour’s drive away from Moline. ## _**Reflect:**_ _Do you have family stories that have been passed down from older generations? Have you explored them to see what can be verified or not?_ _How do those stories inspire you today? _ --- --- title: "Why we need to talk more about politics and religion — not less" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/why-we-need-to-talk-more-about-politics-and-religion-not-less/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "A friend commented: “When I go visit relatives, we don’t talk politics. That way we can all still stay friends.” Another friend declared: “Oh, I don’t discuss my faith. That’s personal.” Silence falls." last_modified: "2024-11-11T00:44:33+00:00" categories: [Recommended] --- # Why we need to talk more about politics and religion — not less A friend commented: “When I go visit relatives, we don’t talk politics. That way we can all still stay friends.” Another friend declared: “Oh, I don’t discuss my faith. That’s personal.” Chalk off politics and religion. Hm, what’s left to talk about? Sports? No, that gets us into which team is best. So can’t go there. That leaves the weather. Unless someone brings up climate change. Then that’s off topic too. Silence falls. When I was growing up, my parents and I often went to extended family gatherings. Awesome, because I got to see my cousins. There was a basic pattern to these regular family gatherings: Everybody arrived. A bit of chatting about this and that. Then all sat down for dinner. That was a serious affair with seconds, dessert and coffee. After dinner, the men would stroll outside for a while. The women gathered by themselves. Kids were everywhere, playing. Eventually everyone came back together. Through all of this, there would be lots of talking. About daily activities, weather, how things used to be, how things were now, politics and religion. Yes, politics and religion. Now things got animated. We had conservatives in the family, as well as socialists, and multiple shades in between. It was not boring. Anders would go off on how hard it was to be a farmer. Sture got emphatic talking about the challenges of real workers (blue-collar, factory). Then there was Nils whose small business provided the livelihood for him and his family. Gunnar worked for the roads department. Taxes paid his wages and without his dedication, especially in winter, no one got to work. Because snowdrifts. My dad worked in an office (white-collar) and had yet another perspective. And that’s just the men. The women had their viewpoints as well, equally as diverse. Yes, conversations got lively. Voices would be raised and strong language might be employed. Sometimes feelings got hurt. But never so much that there wasn’t another family gathering again before long. Because for all their different viewpoints, these men and women still stuck together as family and friends. At the end of the day, that was more important than any of the arguments. I learned a lesson there without even knowing it at the time: Relationships are more important than scoring wins in arguments. Arguments come and go, but relationships need to last. Sometimes when an issue rises to the front of the debate, people you’ve known for a long time turn out to hold a very different view from you. All of a sudden it seems there’s no room to talk anymore. So we don’t talk. Just make assumptions about each other. It feels like being between a rock and a hard place: If we talk, things will go bad. If we don’t talk, we drift apart. Indeed, if politics and religion are supercharged minefields these days, can we talk? And not end up wanting to knock each other senseless? The thing is that at their core, politics and religion are about how we live our lives, day to day. So really hard to avoid them and still be real with each other. **_I believe we can still talk._** In fact, I firmly believe we _need_ to talk. Because if we don’t, we’ll grow even farther apart than we are right now. It starts by being willing to take some risk. A big reason we don’t talk about issues with people who don’t agree with us, is that we’re afraid. Afraid they will argue the case better. Have better answers. More convincing facts. More passion. Afraid that I will feel and look silly when I don’t have the perfect answers to their questions. Afraid that I really don’t know what I believe, deep down. Yet, most of us have been in a good conversation at some point. One where several people exchanged thoughts, ideas, impressions and came away feeling encouraged, strengthened, empowered. Some of our ideas were reinforced, others were modified based on what we learned. And we might have realized that some presuppositions were flat out wrong. How can we have more of that? Conversation on issues that doesn’t end in a shouting match and lets us come away empowered? ## Let’s start with a few don’ts: - **No name calling.** Because we’re mature, civilized people. - **No accusatory statements or questions.** We’re here to learn and exchange ideas. This is not Perry Mason in a cross-examination. - **No backing the other person into a corner.** We’re talking issues, not delivering personal attacks. - **No hypothetical situations.** Because real life is complicated enough and hypothetical is totally imaginary. - **Not a debate.** A conversation is an exchange, not something to be won at all cost. - **Don’t circle for a swift kill.** The other person may show ignorance or lack of knowledge. That’s an opportunity to talk more. Not an invite to pierce their heart with a dagger. ## A few things to do in the conversation: - **Build rapport.** Affirm that the other person is a valuable human being, more important than the issue at hand. That you are genuinely interested in their thinking and understanding. - **Listen to understand.** Get the backstory. How did the other person come to their opinion/position? Be gently investigative. - Ask clarifying questions (even if you think you understand them perfectly). - Learn. Be open to change and growth. The other person may actually have a good point that will give you a new perspective. - **Focus on real, concrete issues.** - **Keep it conversational.** As in a 2-way exchange with give and take. Learn to see the other person’s viewpoint. - **Don’t do all the talking.** I know, we’re excited about our ideas. But give the other person(s) a chance to express their views. ## The proverbial brick wall When the conversation hits a brick wall (and that will probably happen), the best thing may be to agree to disagree about that particular part of the larger issue. Doing so can clear the air and open for conversation on other topics. Maybe even allow you to circle back to the contentious issue at a later point. Another option is to agree to table that issue for now. You may set up a time and place in the future to revisit it. Or just leave it open-ended. Either way, each person can leave today’s interaction with their dignity intact. Actively pursue other things you have in common to affirm the relationship. Too often we allow friendships to be defined by one issue. Then if we disagree there, the friendship is over. Instead, seek out other points of connection. Doing so may even help you bridge an issue where at first you disagree. ## Really listen A big problem with talking politics or religion today is that many of us are willing enough to talk, but not at all ready to hear the other side. We have already pre-judged the situation and decided there’s nothing for us to learn. No way, no how will our views change. That is not helpful for anybody. Conversation breaks down and we all end up more and more isolated, with fewer and fewer relationships. I’m not saying to just convert to the other person’s views. I am saying we need to understand their views and why they hold them. We need to get deeper. ## These are my facts, not your facts Another issue is when each person brings their own facts to the table. As in, facts are not facts, but what I make them be. If I don’t agree with them, they’re not facts at all. That makes everything very subjective and there’s no basis to talk. However, there are still incontrovertible facts in this world. We may use different lenses to view them. But it’s a very different thing to agree that basic facts exist and then proceed to talk about how we interpret them differently, than to say that “these are my facts, they are not your facts.” ## Silo thinking Part of the challenge today is that no matter what idea I hold on to, I can find others who support it online. So it seems I don’t need to care that nobody around me agrees. I can always find other people, more like-minded, online. What that does is stick us into our own little silos, shielded from others who might not agree with us and might cause us to review what and why we believe. Instead we just connect with folks who believe exactly as we do and in the process narrow our view even more. The end result of that process is everyone landing at the extreme endpoints of the spectrum and nobody in the middle. But it’s only in the middle, closer to the center, that we have a balanced view (pros and cons included) where actual progress can happen. Truly, at a time when things seem to get more and more polarized, we really need to be quite intentional about talking about difficult issues, be that politics or religion. Doing so we might find out why Jim believes the way he does and why Sandy believes what she does. As we understand their viewpoints, we can also see how their viewpoints could actually come together in places and provide a way forward for us all. It starts when you, and I, make the choice to talk. To engage. To learn and grow. ## _**Reflection:**_ _Who are the people around you that you are okay talking politics or religion with? Are they exactly like you?_ _Think of some people around you that you don’t feel okay to talk politics or religion with. Why is that? Could you find a way to start small and explore a conversation? Maybe ask them how they decided their position on a particular issue?_ --- --- title: "First day of class and I’m overwhelmed" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/first-day-of-class-and-im-overwhelmed/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "When I was in college, the fall semester always started on a Wednesday in late August. New classes, long booklists, even longer syllabuses. Life shrinking rapidly." last_modified: "2024-11-11T22:44:39+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # First day of class and I’m overwhelmed When I was in college, the fall semester always started on a Wednesday in late August. Middle of the week — go figure. Maybe it was because someone knew how things would play out: I went to the first session of the first course. The teacher introduced the subject, talked about what to expect and handed out a booklist and syllabus. The syllabus contained details about readings for each class session, assignments, when tests would take place and anything else you needed to know. A detailed schedule for the next 16 or so weeks that made up the semester. I felt my free time shrinking rapidly. And that was before checking the booklist. Some courses had a short list. But short can be deceiving. Because that one textbook might be a balmy 1,600 pages of dense print. With next to no illustrations. Other courses had long booklists. Sometimes divided into required and optional. (Depending on the teacher, “optional” might really mean “totally required — you will be tested on this” or “here’s more good stuff if you want to dig deeper, but it’s not on the test.”) Not that I’d have time to ponder much at this point, because the teacher would already have moved into the teaching mode. So whip out pen and paper to take notes like crazy. Because test. When the bell rang, everyone rushed out. 10 minutes to get to the next class. Where the procedure would be repeated. And so on, until there was a bit of space before the next class, or I’d been through all of them for this day. Neither meant I could relax. Because now the chase for textbooks was on. Before the internet and online shopping, that meant dashing to one or more of the bookstores. Random guess at which one was most likely to have the needed book. Of course there’d be at least 300 other students, booklist in hand, crammed into the store, each frantically looking for the books on their list. Having secured books for today’s courses, I schlepped it all home and admired the pile, knowing that I’d do it all over tomorrow. Only saving grace was that by the end of the short week, I had been through the first session of all my courses for the semester. All the syllabi sitting there, along with checked off booklists. And stacks of textbooks. If life was good, I’d been able to get some of them used. Because a dollar saved, is, well, a dollar saved. Which makes a big difference for a student. But the main thought at that point wasn’t about a dollar saved. It was about how many pages I would have to read and digest before the end of the semester. Yes, it’s exciting to learn new things. But it’s also kind of frightening to look at all the papers to write, assignments to complete and readings to do. Yes, starting a new semester included a fair amount of overwhelm. At least once for each course. This repeated each semester, each year of college. Somehow seemed that it never became routine, because each semester start brought fresh challenges. How to avoid that overwhelm? Easy, don’t take any classes. Just stay where you are. Never change. But that wasn’t an option to me as a student, so I pushed forward. And it’s of course not an option if you want move forward in life in general either. Once past that initial few days of the semester, things quickly settled into a routine and what was at first so overwhelming, became routine and pretty manageable. At the end of the semester, I might even feel like I was going to miss this or that class, teacher or interaction. Times of lots going on and overwhelm are not limited to starting a new semester in school. Just think about starting a new job, moving, continuing education, work assignments, work projects, or even life itself, when we move into a new phase of life. What did help me get through that hectic beginning-of-semester time was a couple of things that came with each new course: Syllabus and booklist. Because they constituted a plan forward. A roadmap. Faced with many other challenges in life, we don’t get nice roadmaps like that. We have to find a way to make them ourselves or seek guidance from peple who’ve been through the same or similar thing before. Somewhere in there, I learned that the first step to managing overwhelm is to break it down into chunks and those chunks into smaller tasks. All to eventually come down to one or two things I can do today that will help me towards the ultimate goal. Because I have to start somewhere. And once I’m moving, it gets a little easier to figure out the next step. Another thing that helped me make it through those days of scurrying and confusion was knowing that this was just the for the first few days of the semester. Things would soon settle down into a more manageable routine. The same holds true for many other challenges we face in life. A new job will be challenging at first, but we also know that it will become less so as we get used to it and master what’s involved. It might seem that knowing that the hectic stressful period is going to pass, we should just jump right into a new challenge. Because it will sort itself out and things will be okay. With classes there’s no choice. Classes start at the given date and time. Other things in life are not so set. Many fall into the “someday” category. As in “someday I will do X.” Just not today, because today I’m busy with other things (or just too scared to take the first step toward X). We tell ourselves that this new thing is too different, to hard. That I’m too old, or don’t have what it takes to master it. And yet, back in college, I could have claimed any of those things as well (okay, maybe not too old). For all the uncertainty and overwhelm at the beginning of a semester, I also recall the release and feeling of accomplishment as the semester ended. Another step towards completing the degree I was studying for had been completed. It was good. At that point I felt ready to take on just about anything. I cycle through the same feelings now going through training to maintain, grow and build skills in my area of expertise. Much of that training is self-directed, so I have to make sure to keep myself on schedule to get the work done. But it’s a great feeling to be able to check off that a particular course is complete. Looking back at college from many years later, I can honestly say that those few years were the most formative of my life in so many ways. So much happened that it seems like it was a much longer time than it actually was. By far most of that was good, awesome. I grew so much during that time. I wouldn’t trade that for anything, no matter how hectic and confusing those first days of each semester were. ## _**Reflection:**_ _What’s your go-to reaction when facing a new challenge (such as new job, new work project, life challenge)? _ _Confidence, overwhelm or some other feeling? _ _Have you found some ways that help you work through an initially overwhelming situation?_ --- --- title: "Say what you mean and mean what you say" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/say-what-you-mean-and-mean-what-you-say/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Communication can be difficult, even on a good day. Because we say ‘yes’ when we mean ‘no’ and the other way around. And sometimes, a word just doesn’t mean what you think it means." last_modified: "2024-09-16T01:07:17+00:00" categories: [Communication, Friendship, Recommended] --- # Say what you mean and mean what you say I was discussing details of a project with two team members. One of them asked a question. I suppose it could have been answered with yes or no, but that didn’t quite fit. So I went into explaining circumstances. In a sense a lengthy way to say: “I don’t think it would be a good idea, so ‘No’.” The team members looked at each other: “Notice how he doesn’t just say ‘No’.” It’s not just in that conversation. There are so many times that the way we express things piles on a lot of words and in the end leaves the hearer not quite sure about what was actually said or promised. Sometimes not by intention and sometimes it’s very intentional, when the goal is to create an impression, while not actually committing to a particular course of action. Instead of a clear yes or no, we get a lot of words qualifying the answer. You’ve probably seen the Bible verse where Jesus speaks about how we use language: _“But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes ‘ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil.”_ (Matthew 5:37) Back when Jesus spoke these words, people had already figured out double speak. Saying one thing and meaning something else. Redefining words to mean new things. Confusing. Presenting lies as truth. None of that has changed, except the number of words washing over us in a day. Which has grown exponentially. So it’s much easier to get confused or overwhelmed. Which is why communication can be difficult even on a good day. ## Redefining meaning One way to confuse communication is to attach new meaning to common words. Like the official name for East-Germany back in the Cold War: ‘German Democratic Republic’. Okay, I’ll grant it was German. But not remotely democratic. One party and you could vote for their candidates. If you didn’t vote, somebody likely would make a note in your STASI file. Republic? On paper, but again, one party and one leadership that was a dictatorship. So the words were redefined. For the purpose of making something look a lot more appealing than it was. How about “feature-enhancement”? Sounds good, right? Except when it really means “We took away the stuff that worked and gave you a new, stripped down set of features. You’re welcome.” Then there’s “right-sizing”. Meaning we just fired half the labor force and cut back our production capacity to increase what our corporate parent can wring out of this company. That instead of actually going after new business to maintain our size or grow. Sometimes words are used to make a headline grabbing statement that lots of people see. Then a few days later it’s walked back (“clarified”) and what we’re actually left with is much less than what was promised in those gripping headlines. And no new headlines proclaiming the retraction. ## Lies, lies, lies Then there are of course outright lies. The big lie concept says that if you tell a lie that is outrageous and big and repeat it often enough, it’s going to get believed, because “nobody would dare lie about something that big.” The concept has been attributed to Nazi propaganda minister Joesph Goebbels. Though he certainly approved of the concept and made use of it, the concept is much older. And then there’s of course that thing that we know is true, because Sue heard it from Joe who heard it on the best of authority from a guy who knows a guy. All along the way, nobody bothered to actually check the facts. Instead they just repeat what they heard. ## Saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ There are the times when we end up saying “yes” to a request, even though we really shouldn’t have. Now what to do? Quite possibly, the best would be to go back, explain the situation and ask to be released from the commitment. Instead we often start juggling other things to fit the new commitment in, making more or less good excuses to ourselves and others. Or we tell a lie, pleading some dire circumstances to arouse compassion so the other person will release us from the commitment. Instead, to let yes be yes and no be no, when faced with a request, we are wise to take a moment to make sure it’s really: - Aligned with what I’m about and what my goals are - Something I want to do - Something I can do - Something I have time to do - Something I have resources to do Taking just a little time to check before making commitments will make daily living so much easier. And those around us will appreciate it. ## When it really means ‘no’ Then there’s the big ‘maybe”. That often should just be “no”. But we say maybe because “we don’t want to hurt the other person”. Honestly though, if the final answer is going to be ‘no’ or you’re just going to fade into the sunset without an answer, then I’d rather have a ‘no’ up front than a ‘maybe’ that I will follow up on and we’ll both just get more frustrated with. There are also those who routinely say ‘no’ at first, but don’t mean it. They simply want to be asked again. We see that a lot in romantic movies. Of course, again may not happen. The opportunity is gone, and doesn’t not come back. ## Reputation Another consideration when we decide how we speak with others is how it affects our reputation. If my first answer is always ‘no’ and I then have to be convinced to say ‘yes’, people will catch on. I’ll be considered negative and difficult to work with or be around. Likewise if I always say ‘yes’ but then often don’t follow through. To others that means I’m unreliable. Not someone to count on. So I’m going to miss out on opportunities. I had a friend who was a great idea guy. The person you definitely wanted to have around for brainstorming meetings. Because he always had ideas. And when he delivered on those ideas, it was with superb flair and style. Problem was that he was more likely to just disappear in the middle of a project. Never mind the commitments. He was gone. A few months later he’d reappear and want everything to be as before, with no mention or explanation of why he dropped off the face of the earth. You probably see why he and I are no longer friends. ## Words mean something Maybe it’s because it so easy to say a bunch of words or because it’s so easy to type words. So we use a lot of them. However each word, individually and combined, has meaning. To build lasting friendships and work relationships, trust is essential. Words can build that trust and tear it down even faster. When we do what we say we’re going to do, we build trust and goodwill with others. When we make a habit of saying one thing and doing something else, we tear down whatever trust was there. It’s a process that happens every time we open our mouths or write something. Proverbs 17:28 says: _“Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.”_ Or as somebody else put it: _“Better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”_ Words can be awesome, building up and encouraging. But they can just as easily tear down and confuse. So the question of the day becomes: Are we using words meaningfully or just randomly? > _“Words are like eggs dropped from great heights; you can no more call them back than ignore the mess they leave when they fall.”_ ― Jodi Picoult, _Salem Falls_ ## _Reflection:_ _Given the power of words, what kind of words will you speak today? What’s your process for deciding to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to a request? Does it need some tweaking to be more consistent?_ --- --- title: "I moved to a new country" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/i-moved-to-a-new-country/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "The first time I arrived in Iowa City, Iowa, where I was moving from Sweden, I almost turned and ran. It was 2 am. I was fresh off a Greyhound bus. Right in front of me was a huge sign “Road Closed” and torn down buildings…" last_modified: "2024-11-11T22:48:16+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # I moved to a new country Moving anywhere can be a challenging experience. Moving to another country includes many more pitfalls. Because cultural differences. Because language barriers. Because it’s another country. The first time I arrived in Iowa City, Iowa, where I was moving from Sweden, I almost turned and ran. It was 2 am. I’d just stepped off a Greyhound bus and was walking towards the university campus and the Student Union hotel. But right in front of me was a huge sign proclaiming “Road Closed”. Behind it, city blocks of holes in the ground. “Urban renewal” — tear down the old downtown, whether it needs it or not and build something new, shiny and definitely ill-fitting for the area. It was a thing in the 60s and 70s. That night the area looked like a bombed out wasteland. I walked around, through parts of downtown still standing and made it to campus and my waiting bed. But it was quite a first impression. Did I really want to spend the next 4 years here? Maybe it was a huge mistake to come here for college?! Could this turn out well? Moving to a new country is a long process. I spent many months preparing. College applications. Visa application. Gathering info on this new place I was moving to. But all through that time I was still in my old, well-known surroundings. Now I was in a totally new place, where I didn’t know anybody. I’d even left my friends I’d visited in Chicago behind. I was west of the Mississippi, in uncharted territory. Things looked slightly better the next morning that brought a sunny day. After all, I was living a long-time dream: Someday move to another country. Live there. Prosper. Then after some time go back home, changed. See if people still recognized me. They’d all be amazed at how I’d changed. Yeah, that was the dream. This morning I wasn’t focused on that dream at all. I had more urgent things at hand: I needed a place to stay and a place to live. Being a new student, I could stay at the Student Union hotel for one night for a very minimal rate. My budget didn’t allow for the regular rate, so off to find a more economical place to sleep. I found that at the local Youth Hostel. That was easy. Now on to finding a place to live. ## A place to live I came to Iowa City earlier than planned because I needed to find a place to live. All of a sudden. The original plan was to live in the university dorms. Except the University of Iowa had a record enrollment that year. So while with my friend in Chicago, I received a letter returning my housing deposit and informing me that there would be no place in the dorms for me. Here I was, looking for a place to live. Just 2 weeks before classes started. I knew I was very late in the game. Next door to the Youth Hostel, I noticed the sign of a church campus ministry. Found a pastor there and asked him about Christian group housing in Iowa City. Because my friends had told me such things existed around college campuses. Sure enough, the pastor gave me an address. I went there and found a tall, hippie-looking guy. His name was Dick. We talked. There were no openings at the house. But he invited me back for dinner. Maybe if I met some of his friends… Next, I hit the streets of Iowa City, armed with a listing of apartments and rooms for rent. Quickly realized that “apartment” can mean many things. Some didn’t look fit for human habitation. Looked at a really nice boarding room, but felt the equally nice old lady who owned the house would be forever watching over my every step. It was frustrating. I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for. What could be found in a college town 2 weeks before classes started? By evening I was over-heated, over-tired and no closer to finding a place to live. I went back to Dick and that promised dinner. He introduced me to his friend Jonathan, who happened to have just graduated from Film & Broadcasting, which was what I was starting out in. Jonathan then decided that we needed to go check on his old apartment, which just might still be available. Soon I stood in a basement efficiency with a shared bathroom, mis-matched paint and windows that gave a closeup view of the grass outside from an ant perspective. It was the best I’d seen all day long, but so far below what I’d wished for. Then a girl walked in with her father in tow. Also looking for housing. She was ready to snap it up, but I was there first. I took the apartment. I paid as much for it as my friend was paying for her much nicer and bigger, real apartment, but then again, she wasn’t in a college town. At last, mission accomplished. Only hitch was I couldn’t get into the apartment until September 1. Classes started in late August. My new friend Dick came to the rescue: He and several friends were moving into a rental house and invited me to stay there until my apartment was available. ## Getting connected When I first arrived in Iowa City, I didn’t know anybody there. At the end of my first day, I’d made a couple new friends: Dick and Jonathan. Dick also invited me to a Bible study and to visit his church. And it turned out that a couple of Dick’s friends, Debra and Cheryl, lived just a block from my new apartment. Staying with Dick and his roommates, I met more people. The circle widened. ## Setting up a household I’d shipped 3 boxes from Sweden and together with what I carried in my backpack, that was the entirety of my worldly belongings as I got started in the New World. Nothing in there for setting up a household. But plans had changed. Fortunately my friend Debbie was happy to share her tips for cooking and surviving on a student budget. That got me started. Along with what I remembered from Home Ec classes back in junior high. I also discovered discount stores (K-Mart) and garage sales and cobbled together the necessities like bedding and the basics of a functioning kitchen. ## Shopping and stuff On top of that I had to find a bank so I could receive funds from my account back in Sweden when needed. Checking accounts existed in Sweden, but nobody used them. In the US they were the way to go. I located the post office so I could send letters home. Found the supermarket closest to my apartment, but still a good walk away. Even longer when stocking up for the first time and having a lot of things to carry home. At that point, I walked pretty much everywhere (or occasionally rode the bus). As soon as I was in my apartment, I went to the phone company to get phone service set up. They actually offered me a choice of a party line or my own private line. I’d only ever heard of party lines in old movies and of course went for the private line. Back then, if I wanted to call home to Sweden, I needed to place the call with an operator. No direct dialing. Laundry was another issue. There’s a limit to what you can hand wash in a sink. So off to find a laundromat (remember to bring lots of quarters and a good book to read). Then there was the Iowa driver’s license. That required a driving test. Meaning I needed a car. Fortunately, Debra had a car. She was a bit confused when I asked to borrow her car so I could go get a driver’s license. Took a moment to explain that I already had a legal (though out-of-country) license that allowed me to drive there and back, regardless of how the driving test went. Fortunately, I passed. I eventually decided that I needed to get a TV. Because I was in Film and Broadcasting, so needed it for my studies! That was another adventure. Sears was in the mall, on the outskirts of town. I learned that even a 13” TV comes in a big box. But somehow got it home. Towards the middle of my first semester, I made the decision to buy a car. Mostly because I needed a way to haul film and video equipment. That turned out to be a simple experience. A couple at church were selling their 2nd car and after doing an inspection of it (trying to look like I knew what I was looking for), we shook on it, money exchanged hands and they took me to take care of the title transfer and registration, as well as helped me get insurance for the thing. ![Basement apartment interior](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/apartment.jpg)My first apartment in America, once I made it feel a bit more like home. ## Starting school I’d never been to university before, so was glad for the orientation that the International Office on campus provided for students from other countries. The International Office staff also arranged a number of activities to help foreign students feel at home. I participated, but also made sure not to rely on those offerings, because I quickly figured out that many foreign students hung out in cliques with their country people and didn’t really get to meet “the natives.” I had come to the US to meet Americans and learn the local culture. Then there was of course regular university life to get used to. Like all other students, I pushed my way through the bookstores to pick up a million required books and panicked at the long lists of what all was going to be covered in classes during the semester. ## Church One of the first Sundays in town, I went to Dick’s church. Turned out to be quite high church, with all the formality. My friends in Chicago had taken me to visit Bible churches and I really liked their informal focus on teaching. So set out to visit some of the other churches in town. It seemed logical make a list of churches from the phone book (coming from a town with exactly one church). I made a short list of about 20 and decided to visit a good number of them before making a decision. The first I picked was Good News Bible Church. Come Sunday morning, I set out to walk to church. Turned out to be a few miles before I reached the county fairgrounds where the church met. But I was just in time for the service. During the service, the pastor asked the congregation to introduce visitors. Since I didn’t know anybody there, I stood up and introduced myself. Apparently it was quite a novelty to have a visitor from Sweden who walked to church! Americans are nothing if not friendly and I had multiple offers of a ride home after church. Plus offers of a ride to church next week. As it turned out, because everyone was so friendly there, I came back the next week and every week thereafter. Never made it through the rest of the list of churches. ## Settling in I lived by myself, but wasn’t lacking for friends. Through Dick I found myself in a group of guys and gals that did all kinds of things together. It wasn’t long at all before I was helping paint the interior of a house for missionaries. Church also helped connect me with people. There were plenty of college kids like me, as well as young professionals, in the church and I started getting to know some of them. I also found myself invited by families in the church for Sunday dinners. I was at this point older than the average college student. If I’d gone to college directly from high school, I could have been in graduate school by now. So it’s not surprising that many of my friends were grad students and young professionals, rather than freshmen. In school in Sweden I’d had many years of English and on the SAT I had if not the highest score on the English part for foreign students at the University of Iowa that year, at least one of the very highest. Even so, there was plenty more to learn, to really fit in and make the lingo flow. Thinking back, I know I intentionally set out to hang out and fit in with the locals as I came to college in the US. To me that only made sense. I was in a different country and I wanted to discover as much as possible about it while there. I wasn’t there to hang out with other Swedes or Scandinavians (and there were a handful or two). So I wholeheartedly dove into the new culture and figured things out. As I did, I was blessed beyond belief with new friends and experiences. Not only did I learn about the new country and culture, but also learned about myself and what really made me tick. That in itself is worth a small fortune. ![Outdoor dinner with friends.](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/dinner-with-friends.jpg)Outdoor dinner with some of my new friends. On the right are Dick and Debra. They eventually married and we still keep in touch. ## Summing it up You could say that I had an advantage compared to many foreign students. I could walk down the street and not be immediately recognized as a foreigner. To Dick and his friends I didn’t quite sound like I was from Iowa, so they determined that I was from the east: East Dundee, Illinois. Apparently that was far away enough to explain the difference. But even with the advantage of by and large blending in, I could have chosen to stay apart. Later I met some Scandinavian students who did that. They went to class and then came home to hang out with other Scandinavian or European students. Read papers from back home and behaved like expats. For me, Iowa City was not a foreign place. It was home for the next 4 years and I intended to make the most of it. It’s been many years since I first arrived in Iowa City. But on the occasions I go back there, it still very much feels like home. And I still have friends there. I guess that’s what happens when you embrace a new place and culture and make a real effort to connect with people there. ## _**Reflection:**_ _Have you moved internationally? Think back at what the adjustments were and what it felt like to be in another culture._ _Do you know somebody around you from abroad who has come to the US for a season or permanently? What could you do to make them feel more at home? (If you don’t know, just offer to be a friend.)_ _What can you learn about yourself as you learn about someone from another culture?_ --- --- title: "6 movies and TV-shows to entertain and intrigue" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/6-movies-and-tv-shows-to-entertain-and-intrigue/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "Summer is great for many things, including watching movies or TV series. Here are 6 favorites I’ve enjoyed and hope you’ll enjoy and be inspired by as well." last_modified: "2024-11-13T12:49:38+00:00" categories: [Movies and TV] --- # 6 movies and TV-shows to entertain and intrigue Summer is great for many things, including watching movies or TV series. Here are 6 favorites I’ve enjoyed watching and would be happy to watch again. They all have in common that the characters have to make choices, taking stands for what they believe in and trust that it all works out. Makes for interesting watching. I hope you will enjoy watching them too. ## Father Brown (2013- ) ![Father Brown cast posing](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/FatherBrown.webp) What’s not to love about a series about a catholic priest in picturesque, small town Cotswolds region in England? Father Brown has a penchant for finding himself the first on the scene of a crime as he rides his bike around the parish. To the dismay of the local police inspector, he and his good friends also have an uncanny ability to solve those crimes before the inspector does. The series is based on the stories by GK Chesterton and set in the early 1950s. Father Brown brings his faith into the detective work and is genuinely concerned about the fate of the immortal soul of the criminals he encounters, resulting in him being willing to take great personal risks as he solves the crimes. Father Brown is an all-around likable man who finds solving crimes to be part of his calling. He’s supported in those endeavors by an odd cast of locals, from Lady Felicia with her past, spunky young Penelope “Bunty” Windermere, Sid (a modern, grown-up Artful Dodger who knows a guy who knows a guy) and of course Mrs. McCarthy, parish secretary, always with an opinion at ready. There are 6 seasons of Father Brown so far. The stories put a human face on crime and punishment, as well as the role of grace and mercy in accomplishing justice. **Why I like it:** The series reflects life at at time when the pace was a little slower, but there’s still transition and many storylines deal with how people involved handle (or don’t) the changing times. The series also shows sacrifice, redemption, and grace at play as justice is pursued. ## Sabrina ![Sabrina, 1954 version](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/sabrina1954.png) Many of us have at some time dreamed of being able to go away for a time and come back radically changed, refined and definitely more note-worthy. This is the story of young Sabrina doing just that and what happens when she comes back. There are 2 film versions of Sabrina: The 1954 verison with Humphrey Bogart and Audrey Hepburn and a 1995 version with Harrison Ford and Julia Ormond. With a story filmed more than once, you often find yourself liking one version and hating the other. Not so for me in this case. Both versions have their strengths. ![Sabrina 1995 version](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/sabrina1995.png) Sabrina is the chauffeur’s daughter who’s grown up watching the rich Larrabee family father drives around, deciding that she is totally in love with David, the younger playboy son of the family. She goes off to Paris for a year and comes back quite changed. The ugly duckling has become a beautiful swan and she finally catches the eye of David (at least for a while), and of his older brother Linus. **Why I like it:** I like both versions. The movies and actors bring out the era and values of when they were created. The idea of going away for a life changing experience and then coming back to people who used to know you is intriguing and well played out here. The films also show us that things don’t always work out as we imagine they will. ### A Good Year (2006) ![A Good Year movie](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/a-good-year.jpg) British investment banker, Max Skinner, is truly a master of his game and makes fortunes before lunch by artfully tweaking the markets. After a spectacular manipulation, he finds himself out in the cold, at least for a few days. That’s when he finds out that he’s inherited a chateau in Provence from his uncle, with whom he used to spend summers as a kid. Max sets off to France with the goal of unloading the chateau as fast as possible, so he can get back to manipulating London. But it wouldn’t be a good movie if there weren’t plenty of progressive complications in that pursuit. Max discovers that there are people in this world and starts connecting with some of them … **Why I like it:** We make choices in life (I know, I keep saying that, but it’s true) and sometimes even though we’re really good at what we do, we’ve become someone very different from who and what we once were. In _A Good Year_, Max gets the opportunity to reconnect with who he once was and reevaluate what he is now. Because it’s about where he really wants to end up in life. ## When Harry met Sally (1989) ![When Harry met Sally cover](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/when-harry-met-sally.png) The film that raised the question of whether men and women can ever just be friends (apparently “no” for Harry and Sally) and taught us about high-maintenance relationships and the transitional person. It’s the story of guy meets girl with complications over a number of years. The first encounter sees them go their separate ways. Their paths cross again at times over the next 10+ years, but they always end up going their separate ways. Until finally, one New Year’s Eve, they’re at the same party, but only just. A little different timing and their paths wouldn’t have crossed this time. **Why I like it:** This film is a slice-of-life portrait: We meet people and we go in different directions. Maybe meet later. Or maybe not. I think that’s why this story still rings so true. Because we, the audience, see the chemistry of Harry and Sally long before they do themselves. ## Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Before Midnight (1995, 2004, 2013) ![Before Sunrise and Before Sunset movie covers](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/before.jpg) Richard Linklater set out to make a movie about 2 people meeting by chance when he created _Before Sunrise_. Just one movie. That then turned into a trilogy. Watched on its own, _Before Sunrise_, is the story of the chance encounter of Jesse, a young American, and Céline, a young French woman, on a train headed for Vienna. They spend the next 24 hours together in that city, before parting. Her getting on another train and him flying home. They don’t exchange contact info, but agree to meet in the same spot in 6 months. As the film ends, you really wonder about the rest of the story. Did they meet again and how did it go? The answer comes in _Before Sunset_. It’s 9 years later. Jesse and Céline meet in Paris. Life has moved them along different paths. They reconnect and there’s another intersection: To go this way or to go that way. They catch glimpses of what could have been and what could yet be. Again time is constrained and there are choices to be made. ![Before Midnight movie cover](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/before-midnight.jpg) So how did the choice they made this time go? Fast forward another 9 years to _Before Midnight_. Jesse and Céline have a family. Jesse is a successful novelist and Céline is considering a career change. Again at a crossroads. Part of the attraction of this film trilogy is that it seems so effortless. Like we’re just listening in on 2 people talking, living. They deal with real issues, real fears and dreams. I hope there’s another installment coming 9 years after the so far last movie. There’s something compelling about seeing the span of a life-time played out on screen. **Why I like it:** 3 movies that play like long improvs, like we’re just listening in as the characters do life. Especially the 2nd movie where the action takes place almost in real time. We see the choices being made. The characters let out their hopes and dreams. So it all feels very real, like how these situations could play out in real life. ## Turn (2014-2017) ![Turn promo image](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/turn.png) And now for something completely different. This is the series about Washington’s spies during the Revolutionary War. It’s a fictionalized account of actual people and events and the role that spies on both sides played in the American fight for independence. I have to admit that the accounts of the Revolutionary War in my history books in school were short on detail. For one, we tend to forget that this all played out in colonies were some people were perfectly happy with things as they were and others were ready to die for the cause of independence. Friendships and families were tested and broken. As armies moved around, control of an area might shift from revolutionaries to loyalists and back. These were not easy times for anyone. _Turn_ makes for engaging drama and we get to see people making choices about where their loyalties should be, often at great cost or danger. The 4 seasons in the series cover the start of the Culper Ring of spies on Long Island and in New York and how they helped provide timely information to Washington’s forces and eventually turn the tide of the war. The series ends with the end of the Revolutionary War. **Why I like it:** We all know how the Revolutionary War ended. No spoiler there. But _Turn_ brings out the long struggle to get to that end, which was not at all inevitable for a much of the war. The spies in the Culper Ring took great leaps of faith to join the effort to provide information to the Continental Army. Yes, the series takes creative liberties, but it brings home the many nuances of a conflict that leaves no one unchanged. Everyone has to take a stand for what they believe in at some point. 6 selections for your viewing. I hope you’ll experience them and take them to heart, because movies and TV shows are not just about entertaining us for a while. They are also about showing us things about ourselves. ## _**Reflections:**_ _After watching one of the movies/shows on the list, play “what if”?_ _What if Max Skinner has just sold the chateau and gone back to his job in London?_ _What if Abraham Woodhull had stuck with raising cabbage on his farm on Long Island?_ _What if Jesse and Céline had both shown up for that 6 months later meeting?_ _How might the stories have turned out differently?_ --- --- title: "Life: Zero-sum or something else?" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/life-zero-sum-or-something-else/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "In life there are winners and there are losers. There are those who strike it rich and those who “live in a van down by the river”. That’s just life. Or is it?" last_modified: "2024-11-11T00:46:24+00:00" categories: [Recommended] --- # Life: Zero-sum or something else? It’s a universalism that in life there are winners and there are losers. There are those who strike it rich and those who “live in a van down by the river”. That’s just life. For in order to have winners, there have to be losers (and a bunch of in-betweens as well). This view comes from zero-sum thinking. It’s a view of the world as a closed system. With a finite amount of resources. From that follows that if I gain, somebody else has to lose. It’s the way of the world. Nothing to do about it. Apply this concept to finances: The rich would have a lot less if the poor were to have more than barely anything. Social interactions: If I’m friends with you, I don’t have any friendship left over for that other person. So they’re not included in our group. Classroom: We’re grading on a curve. So even if you do excellent work, you may get a low grade, because there are others who do more excellent work and somebody has to be on the bottom end of the curve. Workplace: There are 2 positions open, with 10 applicants. Only 2 can get a job. The rest are losers. Resources are finite and your loss is my gain. It’s as if life, real life, were a board game. Like _The Game of Life_, _Monopoly_ or _Risk_. It’s all about competition: The player who collects the most and makes it through the course is the winner. The others lose. Some people take game playing very seriously and will do just about anything to win. Even if it’s only a game you’re supposedly playing for fun. The thing is, zero-sum thinking is just that: Thinking. It’s a psychological construct that could be based in facts, but often is not. To be sure, there are times in life that are zero-sum. I mentioned applying for a job where there are more applicants than job openings. That can certainly be viewed as zero-sum. But if we widen the perspective a bit, each applicant could be applying for several positions so if he or she doesn’t get this particular position, there are other options. And in life, as it often turns out, the first thing that we were so set on, isn’t the ultimate. Something even better is around the corner. Could be that not getting that job was the bigger gain. Zero-sum thinking can be quite limiting when it affects how we interact with the world around. Since in this way of thinking resources are strictly limited, I have to look out for myself and gather as much as possible so I won’t be without (money, friends, grades or whatever). In its worst incarnation, zero-sum thinking leads to hoarding, fear of those on the outside and a closed-off existence. Really hard to connect with others when you’re constantly worried that they will take what should be yours. Because, remember, there’s only so much to go around. So we see competition where there really is no need for any and it may even blind us to opportunities that actually are there. As Helen Keller put it, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” Years ago when I started my video production company, I excitedly told a friend who owned an established local video production company about my new venture. I’d expected some encouragement, but instead got a comment about how I was coming after his business. I found that odd, since the video work he did was very different from what I was embarking on and I’d rather hoped we might be able to complement each other at times. But in his view, the video production pie in Little Rock was only so big, and so if there was another company in the running, that necessarily meant smaller slices for everyone else. In the same way, if we view life as a race to some finish line, then it goes without saying that there has to be winners and losers. Consider 2 guys vying for the attention of the same girl. One has to lose, because only one can win. Except, maybe she chooses neither. Then both lose. Or the “loser” moves on to find the girl who really is his soulmate. Everyone wins — it’s not a zero-sum game. So is life itself a zero-sum game? If your maxim for a successful life is “he who dies with the most stuff, wins” then it would seem to be a zero-sum game. Many of us will not come even close to having the most stuff when we die. But it’s important to remember the old truth that he who dies is dead and so who had the most stuff really doesn’t matter. Because dead. Also consider that in life there so much that is not a zero-sum: Skills for instance. If I learn a new skill, it doesn’t mean that somebody else has to lose theirs. And there’s no limit to human creativity. As we’ve seen, human knowledge has increased over the years. Inventions abound. Creativity is all around us. You’d think that everything that could be known, invented or created was done by now, but far from it. If the past is any indication, we have massive inventions and creative outpourings ahead of us. Certainly none of that is finite or zero-sum. The alternative to zero-sum thinking is to view the world as an open system, with if not limitless resources, so at least more opportunity than we’ll actually make use of. In this view, it’s possible for me, or for many of us, to have an improved income/standard of living, without making anyone else’s life worse off. In social interactions it allows me to be open to new friendships, because I have room to connect with more people. In a classroom, it’s grading based on performance. So if everyone in that classroom does A work on the quiz, then they will indeed get an A. ![Harbor at low tide, boats sitting on bared seabed, people walking out to water's edge](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/harbor-at-low-tide.jpg)The low tide has stranded the boats in the harbor, making it impossible for them to move until the water returns, at which point all the boats will float again. If you go to a sea harbor in a tidewater region when the tide is out, you’re likely to find a dry harbor with boats sitting on bare sand, unable to go anywhere. As the water comes back in, it lifts the boats, little by little, until they’re all floating and can sail freely. There’s even a saying from that: A rising tide lifts all boats. Meaning, if things generally improve, we are all better off. No need to fiercely compete. We’ll all benefit. It’s possible to make room for everyone. That sounds pretty good. A win for everyone. So why do we focus down to look at a situation as a zero-sum game? Fear has a lot to do with it. Fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear that I won’t have my needs met. Because maybe everyone else will get more and I won’t. There seems to be a deep-seated fear of not having basic needs met. Maybe we’ve seen what having to really go without can mean up close and personal, or maybe we’ve seen it happen to others and are afraid that it will happen to us. When basic needs aren’t met, it destabilizes our entire person. There’s a reason Maslow put basic needs like food, shelter and security as the foundation of the Hierarchy of Needs. When they are not met, we have a really hard time paying attention to higher needs. (You can read my post about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs [here](https://claesjonasson.com/the-one-with-maslow/).) When we overcome, or step around, that fear, we frequently find that things were not nearly as bleak as they seemed. That there is a way forward, often with the help of others, or us helping people around us, for the good of everybody. Again, a rising tide lifts all boats. And once floating, the boats can do what they were meant to do: Sail, go across the water, bring in food and goods. So zero-sum thinking limits us far more than it actually protects us. Because it divides us into winners and losers. Setting that thinking aside, lets us find ways to have a win-win instead. That will not only help you be better off, but also help me. Obviously there are times when resources or options are truly limited. So zero-sum thinking might apply. But not nearly as many times as we are apt to think. Because options. There are in life so many options when we look for them. Options, alternatives, other ways of addressing the problem or issue. Other ways to move forward. It starts with our thinking: A mindset of abundance, so let’s find options. Or a mindset of limited resources, so somebody wins and somebody loses. Which do you really prefer? ## _**Reflection:**_ _Do you view life or areas of life as a zero-sum game? What confirms that assessment for you? What would need to be true for you to change your view from zero-sum to open system?_ --- --- title: "My best summer" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/my-best-summer/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "I was going on an adventure. Leaving my small hometown in Sweden for the great metropolis of Berlin, Germany. By myself. As in, I came up with the idea, I planned the trip, I made all the arrangements." last_modified: "2024-09-09T21:33:17+00:00" categories: [Berlin, Friendship, Travel] --- # My best summer I was going on an adventure. Leaving my small hometown in Sweden (population 1,000, give or take) for the great metropolis of Berlin, Germany. By myself. As in, I came up with the idea, I planned the trip, I made all the arrangements. It was the early 1970s. The year before I went on [my first trip abroad](https://claesjonasson.com/expressing-gratitude/) (when you grow up in southern Sweden, going to Denmark doesn’t quite count as “abroad”) — a school exchange trip to Berlin, Germany. One week in that totally different world. Berlin [West] was the outpost of freedom, entirely encircled by communist East Germany. The stuff of intrigue and mystery. I was hooked. I liked the city, the people, everything. I wanted to go back. So the next summer, I made arrangements with my pen pal and her family there, agreed on dates, and the trip was on. My parents decided it was okay for me to do the trip on my own. (Really appreciate their confidence that I’d be okay and not get into any kind of trouble.) The plan was simple: Take the train to Berlin, spend 2 weeks with my pen pal Petra and her family, the Haumersens, there. Then travel back with them as they headed further further north for vacation, parting in Copenhagen from where I’d cross over to Sweden and home. Perfectly simple. Nothing to it. At least not when you’re a teenager — invincible and immortal. I started out from home one fine morning. A local train took me to the larger train station where I changed to the international train to Berlin. Enjoyed a nice ferry ride across the Baltic Sea. Then through East German countryside towards Berlin. Communist country. The train sped through without stopping, so as not to give anyone ideas about getting on or off. Everything looked more drab and worn down than back home, where every barn was carefully painted and kept neat and tidy. The train arrived at the big train station in East Berlin. For some, this was the end of the trip. I was going on to Berlin [West]. The procedure was annoying at best: Herd all passengers into 1 or 2 train cars, packed like sardines. Then send in the border guards with machine guns to check that no one is hiding anywhere in or under the train cars. Finally, let the little train roll across the fortified border dividing the city and dump everyone out at Bahnhof Zoo. There, journey completed. ![Berlin Bahnhof Zoo](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Bhf-Zoo.jpg)Bahnhof Zoo, back then the long-distance train station in Berlin [West]. Nobody there to meet me when I stepped out onto the platform. I stood on the crowded platform, looking for a familiar face in the throng of people. Didn’t see anyone I knew. That was odd. As the crowds thinned out, I finally went downstairs to the main hall and out on the plaza in front of the station. Still looking for a familiar face, seeing none. I could have called my host family from a phone booth. Probably had their phone number somewhere with me. Or could have looked it up in a phone book. Not sure why I didn’t. There were plenty of phone booths around back then, and they all came with phone books in them as well. I could have gone into the transit ticket office right there and found out what bus or subway to take from Bhf. Zoo to the Haumersen’s house, which was far south, at the edge of the city, a couple blocks from the Wall. Not sure why I didn’t do that either. Instead I started walking down the street, still looking for something familiar. Because I’d been in this area a year ago. Kurfürstendamm was the de facto center of Berlin [West] in those days. Lots of traffic, shops, people. Finally found a bus with a destination I recognized and got on. I love the double decker buses in Berlin. Sitting up top, at the front, gives a great view of the street below and tree branches coming at you, scraping the roof of the bus. I watched carefully as the bus wound its way down busy streets. Looking for something I’d recognize. I knew that at some point I’d have to change to another bus to get to where I really wanted to go. Then we pulled into a bus stop and there it was, right in front. Bus 2. That was the one I needed. So quick run downstairs, jump off the bus, run over to the #2 in front and hop on. Now I was good. This one would take me to a block from their house. ![Berlin: bus 2 arriving at bus stop with people waiting](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/berlin-bus-2-1.jpg)Old regular: Catching bus 2 to get home to my host family And eventually, I was at their house. Rang the doorbell. Petra was home. The rest of the family came back a little later. She explained that while they knew I was coming that day, they didn’t know the time my train came in or what train I was on. Oops. That’s why no one was at the train station to meet me. But I’d made it to my destination. The next 2 weeks were amazing. The Haumersens treated me just like one of their kids. ![Mrs Haumersen and daughters walking towards cruise boat](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/river-cruise.jpg)One of the many outings: River and lake cruise, all inside the city limits of Berlin We went on outings: A cruise on the network of rivers and lakes in Berlin, visits to key cultural places and monuments, an evening at the British cultural center, going with Petra’s sister to her school, French-German cultural fest, day at the beach and swimming. A couple relatives visited for a few days, adding to the number of young people in the household. We all did things together and had fun. Summer at the edge of a big city. I also explored the city on my own. Berlin is a big metro area and contains many distinct eco systems within it, so I set out to visit many of them. There’ are remnants of royal and imperial Germany in palaces and monuments, quaint village life that makes you think you’ve been transported back in time, and just plain interesting city streets where you can people watch for hours and never get bored. It was just assumed that I would be okay riding buses and subways all on my own (no cell phones back then). One day I went to an open house at the British Royal Air Force base and got to explore jet fighters and transport planes up close. Still think of that day every time I see some C-130 Hercules planes in the sky. When July 4th rolled around, my host mom suggested I head down to the American Sector in Dahlem. That was my first celebration of Independence Day. With a military parade to boot. Tanks and big guns rolling by as the name of each state was read out with the year it joined the union, followed by a gun salute. Quite impressive. Other days I went shopping with the family. Everyday life. I helped lay pavers in the driveway. In the evenings we’d often sit outside on the patio, in a small backyard surrounded by tall trees, as the daylight waned. Right there you felt that the big city was a million miles away. And likewise the Wall with its guard towers and barbed wire. Even though it was only a couple blocks away. All too soon, it was time to head home. The Haumersens packed for their vacation. They were going to the Faroe Islands for a few weeks. Seemed a bit remote to me, but also an adventure. They’d travel to Norway by train and then by boat to the islands. I journeyed with them to Copenhagen in Denmark, from where I headed for home. One evening we boarded a train at Bhf. Zoo for the short ride over to East Berlin where we’d change to the night train to Copenhagen. Having crossed the Wall, we were at Ostbahnhof in East Berlin. Still in the city of Berlin and yet seemingly a million miles away. As we waited for the night train to leave, we couldn’t leave the platform, because that would be entering East Germany. The odd feeling of lurking danger. This was my first time in a sleeper car. Mr. Haumersen and I shared a compartment and Mrs. Haumersen and the girls were in another. It felt very luxurious. Airs of the old Orient Express and everything. The next day we arrived in Copenhagen and since they had some time before their next train, we explored the city. Finally a goodbye as their train took off. I headed down to the ferry to Sweden and then eventually the final train home. My first international trip on my own was completed. It felt pretty good, except I realized I’d left a roll of posters I’d purchased and collected in Berlin behind when changing trains in East Berlin. I talked with the station master at the train station back home. He filled out some forms and sent them off, but wasn’t hopeful. Surely the East Germans would find that they contained “decadent bourgeois material”, plus a recruiting poster for the Berlin [West] police and destroy them. Then again, maybe not. A week or two later, I got word that I had a package to pick up at the train station. The lost and found office of the East German Railways in Berlin had indeed located my roll of posters and sent it on. I got them back and pondered how cooperation between the state railways was flawlessly possible, but people trying to cross the Wall were shot, no questions asked. ![Berlin: double deck buses meet on narrow, curvy suburban street](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/berlin-double-deck-buses-1.jpg)Sitting up top, at the front, gives a great view of the street below and tree branches coming at you, scraping the roof of the bus. ### What were my takeaways from the trip? - I learned, by trial and error, to plan an international journey and to make all the arrangements. Next time made extra sure to give everyone involved a clear itinerary. No more being stranded at a train station. - I got to experience living with another family, fitting into their routines, participating as they did life. - It was invaluable to be able to hear their perspectives on things. Both Mr and Mrs Haumersen grew up in Berlin and lived there through WWII. I got a glimpse into what that was like. - I learned what it was like to have relatives a few miles away as the bird flies that you couldn’t go visit, because of the Wall. Actually, around the 10th anniversary of the Wall, Berliners were allowed to go visit their relatives in the East for a short time. To my host family that was a huge thing. - I learned to explore a new location and discovered what I really want to find out about it, which isn’t the tourist stuff, but rather what makes life tick for the people who live there. Most of all, having made one journey abroad on my own, I concluded that I’d like to make others. The wheels were in motion… --- --- title: "9 reasons not to skip vacation" url: "https://claesjonasson.com/9-reasons-not-to-skip-vacation/" lang: "en-US" type: "post" description: "My good friend Jim would say “Vacation is too damn much work.” And yet, there are very real benefits of taking vacation. How about 9 of them? But I hope it won’t take all 9 to convince you …" last_modified: "2024-11-11T22:49:55+00:00" categories: [Blog] --- # 9 reasons not to skip vacation My good friend Jim would say “Vacation is too damn much work.” Not that Jim was a stay-at-home guy. I went on several international travels with him where we recorded video and interviews for TV series, but also had a great time with R&R blended in. In that sense, Jim was the master of a working vacation. Nobody came back from those trips feeling overworked. Instead, we came back with much work accomplished and lots of experiences richer, feeling rejuvenated. That said, there was the trip we made to Bavaria and Italy. Recording video, setting up meetings (often on the fly), always looking for something else to add to the content to make the shows better. At the end of the trip, we were going to have a few days to just unplug and hang out in southern Germany. Except it didn’t quite work out that way. Instead, before heading to that vacation time, we took Jim to the airport so he could fly back to the US for a conference he’d signed up for months back, not looking too closely at his schedule. He got the work part of the trip and totally missed the vacation part that the rest of us went on after sending him home. Quite a few of us either share Jim’s comment about vacation as being too much work or miss out on it because of schedules. There’s trying to get caught up on work projects before being able to leave home. I’ve been there so many times I finally tried to build some buffer into the transition from work to vacation by inserting sacrificial time, at home as well as on the road. We might leave a day later than planned and cut the first stop shorter. Which adds to the stress you already feel. Or there is concern about what will happen to all my work while I’m gone. Will it be sitting in a huge pile on my desk when I come back? Will my coworkers take it over and my boss finally realize I can be made redundant? And then there’s coming back and having to jump back into the old grind, catching up on all the things everybody else in the office dropped while you were gone. Plus inevitable phone calls and emails while we’re on vacation, because we’re in an always-on society. So, yeah, vacation can indeed seem like way too much work. And yet, there are very real benefits of taking a vacation — of getting away from the daily routine. ![Woman at airport with backpack and suitcase](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/woman-backpack-suitcase.jpg) ## We weren’t made for never-ending work The harder/longer we work, the less productive we become. Our bodies need a cycle of spending and recovering energy. Short term, week schedules do that. We don’t work 7 days straight and then start over. There’s the weekend that offers some change of pace and a bit of rest. In a bigger perspective, vacation does the same thing for the year: Vacation is a change of pace and actually boosts our energy reserves. We turn out to be more productive when we return. Plus it’s shown that people who take vacations are actually less likely to leave their current job. ## I heart vacation Our hearts love a good vacation. Studies show that when we take regular vacations (as opposed to skipping vacation for years on end), we cut the risk of heart disease by about 30% for men and 50% for women. With those odds, could you “suffer” through a day at the beach? Going on vacation simply takes us out of the perpetual lifestyle of stress so many of us are in. On vacation pace and focus change and our hearts love that. ## Vacation is a mental thing Which would you prefer? Electroshock or a week on Saint Lucia? My point is that vacations boost our mental health and put us back together again. In fancy speak, vacation time improves our brain’s neuroplasticity, leading to more cognitive flexibility and depth. We can think better, come up with more new ideas and see things in a fresh light. Think of it as a reset or reboot for the brain. We end up more calm, happier with our entire life, more positive feelings, higher energy and less depression. When we come back, our increased well-being rubs off on people around us. Imagine the effect if the entire office were to go off on vacation around the same time. Might end up with enough well-being on coming back to blow off the roof! ## Less stress and burnout Because we change routines on vacation, our stress and anxiety levels tend to go down. You might wake up in the morning actually looking forward to the day, instead of anxiously wondering what ton of bricks is going to hit today. Back home, one person in the family may be under higher stress or anxiety than the others. But the family vacation time will help boost everyone’s mental and physical health. ## Adventure We tend to do different things from everyday when on vacation. Mary who has a quiet job in the back office might go for scuba diving or zip-lining. Joe who delivers packages everyday and wears out a pair of shoes every month, might prefer just sitting on the beach. Picture low-key professor Jones in his classroom, teaching archaeology. Next picture him with his fedora and whip off in a jungle, searching out that long lost temple. That’s adventure! Okay, so maybe not that extreme (because who wants to be chased and shot at on vacation?). But vacation is our chance to try something different from what we do all the rest of the year. Go places that we don’t normally get to, be around people and cultures that are different from every day. Doing that gives us excitement, natural highs and makes us feel good. For a long time after we’re back home. ## Sleep loves vacation I often find that I sleep better on vacation. And wake up feeling more refreshed and certainly excited about the day ahead. It’s a chance for us to break bad sleeping habits and patterns that leave us not sleeping well at home. With better sleep comes improved reaction time, which lasts long after we’re returned home. ## Relationships We’ve all heard of vacation romances. But it doesn’t have to be with total strangers. Vacation improves relationships with those with us. Family or friends. Yes, there may be some tensions when traveling together, but studies show that overall, relationships are improved by going on vacation together. All that because we get to see each other in settings different from everyday situations. It’s can be like seeing an entirely new side of that person we thought we knew so well. On vacation we have more and different time for each other. A long car, train or plane ride can be a great time to talk, really talk, about feelings and things we don’t get around to in regular everyday land. At the end of the day, we really need to occasionally see each other outside the confines of usual life to fully appreciate each other. Vacation of course also builds memories and shared experiences. ## Life expectancy There’s good evidence to suggest that if you really want to live a long time, you should take regular vacations. Get out of the normal, do something different, experience, see, grow and live. Apparently significantly longer. Sounds like a good reason to take vacation. ## New perspectives Need to sort out the meaning of your life? Make a big decision? Go on vacation. Seriously. Many major life decisions get made while on vacation: - I became a Christian while traveling around Europe with my backpack. - It was hiking in the Swiss Alps that I determined that I wanted to work in video/film and was going to head to the US for training. - It was on an Amtrak long distance train that I finally decided to embrace my being a writer. - A friend drove a couple days cross country while on vacation and out there, on the plains of Kansas, got amazing clarity on what she wants to do with her life. We’re able to make those decisions because while on vacation we can see more clearly, with a fresh perspective. And with regular distractions out of the way, our mind has time for this extra processing. ![Birds eye view of woman floating in water](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/woman-water.jpg) That’s 9 reasons to take a vacation. Soon. Plus, there’s the benefit of planning and looking forward to the vacation. Sometimes that seems like half the fun. Just anticipating vacation will start to get us energized. The key thing is to get started. Grab your calendar and block out time for vacation now. It could be a month away or it could be next year. But the time needs to be marked out on the calendar. Then start figuring out what that vacation will look like. Which of the 9 benefits above do you need most? All other things being equal, what would your ideal vacation look like? Keep thinking and planning and when V Day comes, enjoy your vacation. You’ve earned it. Happy vacation! ![Woman with backpack and arms outstretched on observation platform high up in mountains](https://claesjonasson.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/mountain-adventure.jpg) ---